Harper had just finished checking out all of the Andromeda's systems for anything out of the ordinary, and found nothing. And since he was bored out of his freaking mind he tried to call Rommie up, but got no answer. Apparently she was locked in her room doing something. And whatever it was, Harper was getting a very bad feeling over it. So he did what any loving boyfriend would do, he hacked into the system to see what was bothering her.
It wasn't like he was invading her privacy after all.
Entirely.
Sorta.
After sitting in his machine shop under his work table, as if that would hide him from Andromeda, for about 20 minutes he was finally into Rommie's private files. Ones that only she had access to, her private thoughts on everything and everyone.
After reading about how she used to be in love with Dylan, and feeling like throwing up as she described his 'rugged beauty as he steps out of the shower', he felt like maybe it was wrong to read this. He was just being crazy, there was nothing wrong, he was just probably freaking out that she liked him back and wasn't trying to kill him. That rarely happened to him.
And then he saw it.
I know I shouldn't worry, Harper loves me. I see it in the way that he looks at me, and how for years he has murmured my name in his sleep, when it's peaceful.
How whenever something happens to me this look enters his eyes. Fear that I won't be all right, pain at seeing me hurt, and anger at whoever did it to me.
I saw the pain in his eyes when I followed Dylan like a puppy. The hurt when I chose Gabriel. The disbelief when I went 'back' to Gabriel.
He loves me. He knows it, I know, hell, everybody with eyes know it.
And I love him. He knows, I know, and hopefully soon everyone else will as well.
But what if love is not enough?
Harper, my Harper, is a genius, and he'll willingly shout it to anyone who asks, but he could only make me so real.
So human.
It hurts, to know that he may leave me. Maybe I should leave him first, but no. It would hurt to much. Then again, staying may hurt me more in the end, but at least I will have had him.
He wants a family. I know he does. What happens when he wants to start having children and I can't? I hurts me to know that I can't give him kids, and to know that I can never have kids. Maybe he did make me to human.
What will I do?
Please, someone tell me. I really don't know. This was never programmed into me! I should have never had to deal with this! It's not my fault! He made me love him!
I want children, to have a family, a REAL family. I wantthe son, andthe daughter, and the even the dog. I want the house on a planet. I want this thing called normalcy.
She sighed.
Will I ever have it?
Will Harper ever truly be happy with just a machine? Will he leave me? Should I leave him first?
They never taught me how to do this.
Why did they never teach me how to do this? Is it wrong? Should I not love him? Should I not want to hold him and love him and just have his beautiful eyes stare into mine telling me that it will all be okay?
How will I go on once he dies?
How will I manage to watch him grow old and weak?
How can I be strong enough for this?
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
I don't know what to do.
Please.
PLEASE, somebody tell me what to do…
End recording now please and lock files under Rommie's logs, code Andromeda 'Rommie' Ascendant, alpha omega 9.
