Amon and Laundry V 2.0 Ch 7

Well, after this chapter the bigger changes should start. This chapter has Many Sound Effects and a Frying Pan of Doom reference, as well as my lovely soap opera lines, so I rather like it…

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Robin had managed to wrestle the Coffee Mug of Death (hmm... like the Frying Pan of Doom?) from Amon's grasp. Time had passed, and now Amon was thinking about how long this was taking again, and pacing in front of the washer.

Amon: pace pace pace pace pace….

"Will you please stop that, Amon? We only have two more loads to go and two more to dry. You can sit down."

Amon shot her a Glare Calculated to Make Her Hair Stand On End, but at the last moment he directed it at the washer, changing it to a Glare Calculated To Murder All Evil Time-consuming Appliances.

Robin simply shook her head.

"Look, Robin, it's 4:45. When does Touko get off work today?"

"Um… Five-thirty, I think."

"Will we be done by then?"

We can only hope. "We should be."

They stopped talking, and Amon (you guessed it) paced.

Amon: pace pace pace pace pace pace pace pace pace pace… shoot Glare Calculated To Successfully Fry All Electrical Appliances… pace pace pace…

It was now 5:00.

"MUTTER!" he muttered, and reached for his orbo gun. "Robin! Somebody stole my orbo gun!"

"It's on the coffee table, Amon."

"Oh." He rushed over to the coffee table, picked up the gun, and rushed back to the washer. Standing back with a Determined Look on his face, he pumped (Ais is counting) onetwothreefourfive… no, six orbo bullets into the washer.

"Amon! What are you doing?" Robin cried, jumping up.

"Mutter!" muttered Amon, and wondered just what he had been thinking, and if the things the doctor had said about that 'fractured cranium, potentially effecting the occipital lobe in a minor but not particularly debilitating way' were actually right.

And at this exact and unfortunate moment, Touko walked in. "Hi, I'm home early… What the…? AMON NAGIRA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Amon's eyes shifted. "Mutter."

"Aha! Robin! Amon! Coffee! Pigeon! Oyster crackers! I see it all now! How dare you? You come here, cheat on me by letting The Nun do your laundry, and take revenge on my washing machine!"

"Hey! I'm not a nun!" Robin said.

Touko shot her a Glare Calculated To Shut Up Firecraft Users, but she had obviously not paid enough attention to Amon's Professional Glares, and Robin countered it. I mean, she'd countered Amon's Glares, and he was the Master of His Art!

"Touko," Amon said darkly. "It's impossible to cheat on you. We haven't been seeing each other for a month."

"But… she's doing your laundry!"

"Yes."

"Until in a moment of insanity, you shot MY washing machine up, right?"

"Mutter. I'll pay for the damages."

"Darn right you will!"

Amon pulled out a couple of plastic trash bags and loaded the contents of the washer and drier into them.

"Come on, Robin. Help me carry these things."

"You can do it yourself!" Touko said angrily.

"I thought it would be easier since Robin's coming with me."

"Where?"

"Laundromat."

Touko slammed the door firmly behind them, but then threw it back open again: "AND YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SOCKS, TOO!" she yelled, and threw a handful of Amon's black socks at them. (Said socks had somehow managed to drape themselves over the fanblades; everybody knows socks have a life of their own, being as they disappear so frequently…)

"That was strange," Robin sighed.

"Mutter," Amon agreed.

And Amon and Robin left the apartment, Amon doing the shifty-eyes-stick-orbo-gun-around-corner thing the whole way.

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The TV in the Laundromat was loudly spouting out a late soap opera, and a group of ladies were clustered around it, drying their tears with the toes of socks and hems of shirts.

'Ever since Luke went into the coma, I've felt so alone, Philip! How could you do this to me?'

'I swear, Marisa means nothing to me, Rosa!'

'But… oh, I don't know what I will do!'

There was a long, heavy pause, filled with subtle cheesy music and various tortured glances, during which the woman renewed their crying.

"Mutter," said Amon.

"I agree," said Robin. "Now, what needs to be dried? Take those clothes, put them in the dryer, close the door, put in the coins and press start. Think you can do that?"

"Yes. I think." He handed her some coins and stalked over to the dryers.

They sat on a bench with the soap opera to their backs.

'No, John! No! Don't! You have so much to live for! Think of your unborn quintuplets!'

Robin opened a Mountain Dew from the pop machine.

Mountain Dew: ka-FWEESH!

"Robin?"

"Mmm?"

"How do you sleep at night, if you drink all that caffeine?"

"I don't, really. I have a lot of nightmares… wake up in a cold sweat… that sort of thing."

"Nightmares? What about?"

"Oh…er… nothing!"

'Marcia! Maria has had a vision! It is said that Philip will also go into a coma soon!' the TV bellowed as that lovely soap opera music rent the air.

"That's really starting to get annoying," Robin muttered.

"Yes," Amon agreed darkly, and stalked over to the TV. The ladies got very flustered when he firmly changed the channel to the news, turned down the volume, shot them all a Glare Calculated To Maim Ladies Addicted To Soap Operas, and stalked back to Robin.

"Thank you, Amon." She finished off her Mountain Dew and headed over to the pop machine again. "Ooo! They have Frappachino!"

"What?"

"You know, like cappuccino, except it comes in a glass bottle and tastes really bad."

"Why drink it then?"

"Caffeine. What am I going to do about Touko? I wonder why she would be so jealous of your laundry."

"I do not understand Touko. I am beginning to think nobody does."

Robin agreed silently, and opened up her Frappaccino.

Frappaccino: scru-KREW-ccchhhs

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Don't ask me what the randomness about pigeons and oyster crackers I had Touko spout off means. Er… it has a great cosmic meaning and you must find it yourself, Grasshoppa.

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Meow-Bloossom: I should warn you, it gets worse…

Elyndewen Startree: It is? Well, the dry cleaning man, he's my favorite character… :D

AnimeGirl190: Thanks! Better than ever? –is happy—

Kanno: IIADAWATA! Hmm… it does sound like how in those old undubbed unsubbed samurai movies, how they scream randomly and crap… and I have no idea what I'm saying anymore… And I'm talking too much again…

Carri: Cheese-powered, nuclear armed tanks… the Evil Genius wheels in my head are turning. And I believe you've just found out why I run screaming from any tall, vaguely Asian man with medium-length black hair, especially if said individual is wearing a trench coat.

CrazyTomboy: To Lt. Ra, c/o CT: Thank you for withdrawing your troops. I am glad the window screens do not taste good, or I should be frightened.

XtinethePirate: Teh unstobbable reviwingnezz!!!! DUDE! We have a Hemmingway/WHR connection! My cup runneth over! …And you can have Amon if I can have Sakaki.

AnimeReviewer790: I hope your next birthday's better! And here. –pours boiling water over icepack—Oops… heh heh… run away…

Gloria: PG, Gloria, PG! :D

Prospero53223: There sure is. Some 26-ish chapters. …I wonder if I can work 'team building' in…hmm…

Sakura Rain: Thank you! Thank you! –bows— And that icepack was a royal gift! Do not discard it lightly! :D

St Earns: And the nations (with the exception of poor innocent bystander Australia) cried: Patchouli! Because they were most excited about the various natural phenomena and attempted to make Robin and Amon a crown of lettuce and I have no idea what I'm saying again…

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Well, that's all for this chapter. Thanks for the reviews!

–Ais skips off singing a pleasant little ditty— CAN WE FORGET ABOUT THE THINGS I SAID WHEN I WAS DRUUUNK/ I DIDN'T MEAN TO CALL YOU THAAAT/ I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT I SAID OR WHAT YOU THREW AT MEEEE…. Huh? What do you mean, I left the mic on? WHAT? –sound of screeching electrical equipment—