Girl VS. Boys! RK-gumi style!

By: Rubi A.K.A. "Phi-Dono" 1/12/05 wends.

Disclaimer/Claimer: i own nothing in this fic, not even the plot. that belongs to Kit-san. i /do/ however, own Chocolate-quacamolied Cheese-puffs dipped in Bar-B-Qued honey, so don't take em without letting me know, ks? (- smiles sweetly -)

ok, well, i have this huge writer's block with a combination of LAZINESS and that's the reason why i haven't updated anything in like, a month... I'M SO FRICKIN SORRY PPLZ! (- sobs -) so, in some form of compinsation, here's a little trump card that i've been keeping hidden for a while now. i hope you enjoy this, cuz well, i really dunno what else to do... (- sweatdrop -) and, since i'm so lazy, i don't even think i bothered to spell check this... U.U;;;

well, i got this idea from Quatre the Kitsune's "Kids From The Canine Cubs." it's such a random and funny fic, read it! you should read it before you read this, so you know what's happening... anyway, in the fic, the RK-gumi is all 15 (save Yahiko and Tsubame, who're 14) and they all live at an insane orphange that no one wants to go to cuz the kids are demented, lol! anyway, in chapter 3, Kenshin is holding a watergun plus other water weapons, filled with MUD, and says "Mwuahahahahahahah! With these weapons we will end the age old war of... (dramatic pause) ... Girls VS. Boys." and after this, the authoress writes: A/N: By the way, I'd like to see someone try and write a story about that. so, here it is, Kitsune-san! i took up this, uh, request (?) because i'm a big fan of Kit-san's work. it's always so funny and interesting! i don't think this'll be as funny as Kit-san's work though... (- sweatdrop -) ANYWAY! i hope everyone enjoys this - especially Kitsune-san!

"talking"
'thinking'
(- occasional authoress note in the fic -)/(- actions in authoress note -)
actions in the fic
/emphasized/

xXx-)(-xXx

Somewhere down the hallway, you see Aoshi sitting on his bed, with his pillow beside him. The top of the pillow has "hair" made from the bottom of a mop, and the "hair" was dipped in orange paint. Aoshi is bumping into the pillow as he hits it with his butt, trying to make it fall off the bed. When it does fall, he sighs.

"It's not the same..."

So he gets and idea and scampers out in search of Kenshin...

xX you wouldn't have gotten that unless you read her fic, lol Xx

You now see a young teenage boy with bright orange hair, tied up in a high ponytail as he presses his back against the wall. He shifts his narrowed eyes and slides closer to a room where a hysterically crying girl can be heard.

"NO! THIS ZIT- IT'S NOT GONE YET! AOSHI-SAMA, PLEASE, DON'T IGNOOORE MEEE!" she cries, stopping her mad rant only to sob. "AOSHI-SAMA, NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kenshin, as cow-like confused he is about this, decides to go on with his plan. Reaching the door frame, he sucks in a deep breath and jumps into the room, only to be confronted by... (- cow-like: utterly. get it! cows have utters and so-... yea, i'll stop now... -)

xX if you're completely lost, then READ HER FIC! Xx

In the room with Sano and Megumi...

"Rooster, you better not be touching any of my medical supplies..." Megumi warned, as she "operates" on a rag doll, slicing it up with a kitchen knife, cotton spewing from the opening. She has the tip of her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she continues her "surgey," with her back to the said Rooster.

Sano, meanwhile, is completely ignoring her as he stares -hypnotized- at the shiney surface of the bottle that reads "Crazy Glue." Something you'll learn while reading this fic, is that you should never leave Sano alone, without /someone/ to watch over him...

xX this is gonna cause havoc later, you just know it... Xx

Saitou is standing in front of the vending machine, inserting a few coins. Suddenly, he gasps in horror as he realizes his favorite snake is sold out!

"What! No more Chocolate-quacamolied Cheese-puffs dipped in Bar-B-Qued honey!"

Behind him, sitting innocently enough, is Shishio eating from a red bag. Saitou looks behind him slowly, a glare already on his face as he looks at Shishio, who is chewing loudly while he laughs. Saitou gasps as he sees orange-ish gunk in between his teeth! But no, he's not disgusted by Shishio's lack of hygene knowledge, but he recognizes the orange-ish gunk as his beloved Chocolate-quacamolied Cheese-puffs dipped in Bar-B-Qued honey!

"Man oh man, knowing you wanted these only makes these taste so. Muuch. Better," Shishio says, a sneer on his burnt, mumified face.

Saitou stares at him with an open mouth, so shocked that his nemisis is eating /his/ Chocolate-quacamolied Cheese-puffs, dipped in Bar-B-Qued honey. In a fit of rage, Saitou jumps on Shishio and stares smacking him with his palms - girlie style... Shishio, likewise, does the same, but has the famous bag of chips clenched between his still gunkified teeth.

"Makoto! You're ass is mine! And so are those Choco-quaco Cheesy-puffs dipped in BBQ honey!"

"In your /dreams/ -owie- Wolf! These Chocolatey-quacamoly Cheesy-puffies, dipped in BBQ-ed honey are MIIINE!"

"WHAT! GRRR! THE CHOCOLATEY-QUACAMOLIED CHEESY-PUFFIES BBQ-ED HONEY SNACKS ARE /MIIINE/ AND ONLY MINE! DIE!"

xX back to these two later... Xx

Aoshi is searching frantically through out each room of the orphange. No luck finding his oppenet, he growls and runs down the hallway, tripping on a passed out Jin-eh, who was trying to hypnotize himself /again/... Mou, will somebody tell that kid that he just /can't/ look through the wall of the girl's bathroom, just cause he tells himself he's Superman!

xX ignoring my random attempt, let's move on... Xx

Kenshin stares in shock as the first thing he sees once he jumps in the room, is a large, white, pussified watermelon on Misao's forehead. Soujirou randomly walks in and sees Misao's zit. He faints. Some rabid fan girl (and maybe a boy or two in there) drag him away for who knows what... Poor Sou-chan... U.U;

Kenshin, after he recovers from the shock, shakes his head and aims his mud-gun at Misao - who hasn't noticed his presense because she's still crying her eyes out. Yeah, she's a tad bit dramatic... Kenshin, having the battle wits of Battousai somewhere inside him, decides he'll get Misao later as he sees something under the blankets move on a bed near-by. Sneaking over to the bed -though he doesn't have to, Misao's wails are drowing out Kaoru's snoring- Kenshin pulls back the covers to reveal a sleeping Kaoru. The Rurouni side of him smiles down at his long-time crush. The Battousai side of him grins wickedly and points the gun to her face. Unfortunately for the Ruro-chan side, Battou-kun wins the mental struggle and pulls on the trigger, squirting a massive portion of mud in Kaoru's snoring face... When in turn wakes her up...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ON MY FACE! MUD! KEN-SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

"Oro..."

Misao looks behind her in time to see Kenshin speed out of the room with Kaoru trying to chase after him. She fails, however, and busts her booty on the floor since her feet are tangled up in the sheets. Growling innapropriate things, Kaoru attacks the sheets as Misao continues watching.

"Well..." Misao begins meekly. "At least your boyfriend gave you a free mud mask. Now you won't get so many huge zits, like me...

Blushing, Kaoru replies with "Kenshin and I aren't-!"

But Misao interrupts with her usual cries.

"AOSHI-SAMA WILL NEVER WANNA LOOK AT ME AGAIN! AOSHI-SAMAAAaaaaaaaa...!" she says, running out of the room in dispare.

Kaoru hesitates a moment, trying to decide what the hell was that. Shaking her head when her brain begins to hurt, she tears up the sheet and begins to chase after the red-haired teen.

xX no comment... Xx

"Hmmm, this smells pretty bad..."

"That was /you/ you Chicken-head, don't even try to pretend you didn't blow that fart."

"I wasn't /talking/ about that, Megitsune! Nyah!"

Megumi was finishing up her work, sewing the doll up now that it had a new "heart," which was infact a marble... Sanosuke had by this time, taken the lid of the crazy glue and took an experimental sniff of the substance, grimacing at the foul smell. His gas smelled better than this... Now that he smelt it, he wonder if the super glue could patch the whole he had in the crotch of his pants...

xX oh boy... Xx

"Do you give up /now/ Wolf of Motown!" Shishio asked, poking Saitou mercilessly on the sides.

"MIBU! WOLF OF /MIBU!" Saitou screams as he squirms out of the mummies grasp, tearing off some of the bandages on Shishio's body, insulted that the 'return-of-the-mummy' freak would get his favorite basketball team's name wrong!

"Yeah, WHATEVER!" Shishio says like Liam Lynch, from the song 'My United States of WHATEVER!'

Saitou suddenly tackled Shishio down and grabs a random hamster, who happens to be Hamtaro, and shoves him down Shishio throat. Shishio, who once bit Kenshin for not giving him the baseball, swallowed poor Hamtaro whole, which freaked out Saitou...

xX what can i say? i don't like Hamtaro too much... Xx

XxX To be contined... XxX

ok, this'll be completed soon, like, when i get over my illnesses... (- shifts eyes -) uhm, thx for reading and please review :) i'll post the jap words that i used, in the second chappie, ks? thanks everyone - ja ne! (- waves -)

XxX

Phi-Dono rox