Night Visitor
By Visage
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Summary: A visitor comes to Ben's room after a nightmare
He startled awake, his body jumping slightly off the mattress. His eyes were wide in shock, his blankets wet and clammy. He looked down at his hands.
They were shaking uncontrollably.
He propped himself up on one hand and sat up. He rubbed his face with his hand, feeling each shaky breath leave his heaving body. He let himself sit for a moment, concentrating on breathing in and out, calming his frightened body and tormented mind. Slowly, he let himself drop to the bed.
He swallowed hard, putting his hand over his eyes once again. He needed to banish the horrible thoughts that plagued him in his dreams.
He heard the slight creak of his door. He breathed in deeply once more before turning on his side.
"Papa?" The little voice called. It was Little Joe. "Papa, are you okay?"
Ben put one elbow underneath him and sat up. "Son, what are you doing out of bed?" He reached out his free arm for the boy to climb up, and invitation which was readily accepted.
"I just wanted to see if you were okay, Papa." Little Joe snuggled close to his father, resting his head on his chest. He looked up at Ben, his eyes filled with concern. "Are you?"
Ben paused for a moment, sucking in a deep breath of air. How he wished someone old enough to handle the responsibility were here to listen to his dreams. He couldn't possibly inflict those hellish visions on such a young child. But they had all left. First his Liz, his Inger, his Marie. Now, his Adam on the other side of the country. Why did they all leave such painful memories to be lived over and over again in restless sleep? He wrapped his arm around the boy tighter and leaned in to kiss his forehead. "Oh, everything's fine, sweetheart. Papa just had a bad dream."
"I thought so." Joe answered simply with a nod of his head.
Ben's eyes crinkled in a smile. "Oh? How is that?"
"Same way you do, Papa." Joe's voice became slurred with sleep. "I felt it."
Ben lay still as his child began to settle, his breaths becoming deep and even. 'The little scamp!' He thought to himself in amusement.'He really needs to spend the night in his own bed.'
He looked up at his ceiling for a moment, listening hard for the sounds of night. He could hear faint snores drifting under the crack in his door from down the hall. He imagined his middle boy sprawled out on his back, one foot peeking out from his covers, just as he had been when he looked in earlier. Hoss was safe.
He looked down at the boy, nearly seven years old, sleeping in his arms. He brushed a curl gently off the boy's forehead before reaching down for the blanket he had kicked off earlier. He tucked his youngest in and snuggled himself in his bed. Little Joe was safe.
Ben laid there, his eyes misting over, a dull ache settling in his heart. He wondered where his Adam was tonight. Was he tucked away in his bedroom at his grandfather's? Was he curled up on his side; one arm slightly off the edge of the bed like Ben normally found him? Was he even asleep? Perhaps he was still devouring one of his books by lamp light as he did so often at home. Or maybe he was lying in bed just as he was, thoughts of his brothers running constantly through his mind. Was Adam safe?
His mind unwillingly wandered back to his dream. Images flashed in his head of Liz falling over the edge or a clipper ship, Inger being held captive at knifepoint by Indian Braves on the War Path, Marie falling off her horse in front of the ranch house.
And Adam. His 17 year old boy dressed in one of his fine suites, walking down the streets of Boston. A runaway carriage coming down the street. A boy, so much like Joe in the road. Adam running out and throwing Joe out of the way. Adam being caught by the horses. Hooves bludgeoning his body almost beyond recognition.
Ben swallowed, banishing the thoughts from his mind. Lying quietly, he suddenly registered a warmth spreading over his chest and on his thighs. Looking down, he saw the top of Little Joe's curly head and smiled. He had been so wrapped up in his dream he'd forgotten the boy was there. Leave it to his youngest to know he needed someone to comfort him this night.
He settled in once again, letting drowsiness spread over him like the warm blankets. He knew he wouldn't be able to fully rest until all his boys were under his roof again. But for the sake of the three boys he loved so dearly he would try.
