Amon and Laundry version 2.0 Chapter Twelve:
Chad
A/N: Well, you'll notice a big jump in the story here; hopefully I've cleared it up a little! I do miss the Plastocenes, but perhaps they'll appear somewhere else…. You never know.
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Vrrooooom chunkachnkachnkachnka BAM! SCREEEEEEECH! Chunk.
Amon ignored the person he had almost hit. It was just a dent, after all. He had not time for these trivial matters, as he was On A Mission. He was not going to stay at Sakaki's apartment, that he wasn't. No, he certainly was not. Nope. Not at all…
The guy had stuck his head out of his (old) car and woke Amon from his highly intelligent reverie by yelling a stream of obscenities. We shall not repeat them here, except that the gist of them was, "Dammit, man, watch where you're going!"
Or something to that effect. It really didn't mean much once you removed the cuss words.
He hung up the phone, rolled down the window in a very cool manner and muttered, "Government official, sir. We apologize for any difficulties. I am afraid we are working on some very confidential business, and I do not have time to stop. Civilians need not worry. Let us do the worrying."
He rolled the window back up and drove off. God, I love doing that! He (almost) smiled.
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"Screeeeech!" screamed Amon's car tires as he pulled to a sudden stop outside of an apartment, which shall be briefly known as A Familiar Apartment.
Inevitably pulling out his orbo gun, he once again somehow managed to make it up The Familiar Apartment in less than fifteen minutes. Quickly glancing around for Suspicious Characters, he pressed the doorbell.
The identity of The Familiar Apartment was revealed when Touko came to the door. But this Touko didn't look much like any other Touko anyone had ever seen. Her hair was pulled back tightly, and she was wearing a huge black hat with several hundred yards of sheer black veiling. She was wearing a vaguely Robin-like dress that went down to the floor, and obsidian mourning jewelry. She also was had on no makeup, but you couldn't tell through all the yards of veil.
Touko's apartment was as transformed as she was. All the electric lights were turned off, the shades were closed, and about a million little candles were lit everywhere. Black crepe was draped everywhere, all the mirrors were covered, the clocks were stopped, and an organ cannon played in the background.
"Yes?" Touko sniffed, and lifted a lacy white handkerchief to her nose.
For ten whole seconds Amon was struck dumb. I admit it's hard to tell this due the fact he doesn't actually talk, but he was. "Touko… what exactly is this?"
She blew her nose. "As if you didn't know!"
Amon paused. "No, I don't."
"Murderer! You killed my washer!"
"Yes. I came over to pay you ba…"
"As if money could make it better!"
Suddenly it dawned on Amon. "You're in mourning… for a washer?"
"Not just any washer! He was my friend!"
"Your… friend?"
"Yes! Chad!"
"…Your washer… was named… Chad."
Touko burst into tears. "Yes!"
Remind me why I ever went out with you again? "I'm… very sorry."
"Come in. You should see the terrible wrong you have done!" Touko wept.
Yes indeed. Chad the Deceased Washer was in a specially made coffin in the living room, draped with black silk and covered with red rose petals. There was a large heart of red roses at its… I mean, his feet and a cross of white roses above his control panel.
"Sniff," said Touko. "The visitation starts in half an hour. Perhaps it would be better for you to leave. I want you to think very hard about what you have done."
"Wait. I wanted to pay you back for the washer. It looked like a 1996 model. Is 22,680 yen (yes, 200), enough?"
"Age didn't matter to me. Money can never heal the loss!"
"If you don't want it…"
"…but maybe 226,620 yen (2,000) can help."
Amon's eyes did a fair imitation of popping out of his head despite his usual no-showing-emotion rule. "I don't think I heard you correctly."
"226,620 yen, you psychopath Chad killer."
Amon left Touko's apartment a poorer but wiser man.
Well, maybe not wiser, but certainly poorer.
Wiser only in that he now knew not to date women who were emotionally attached to cleaning machines.
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A/N: I have a question here: Would you like the story to end here, or for it to continue on to Chad's funeral and tie up after that? I'm thinking of continuing, but there's a sort of ending type thing up there…. I may post parts of the story I left out as one-shots with some changes. I don't know yet…
Anyways. Imagine: Review Responses! (Especially in case this is the last chapter)
Evilteddybear: Well, I think we'd have a LOT more HydeandAisfics but for that Hyde has only the vaguest semblance of Internet service, we live quite a few miles apart, and neither of us have licenses yet. (Although I think Hyde has a permit, I have nothing, as when I checked last July the driving school was full and I am lazy.) Clearing up the plotlessness is what I'm going for; I wasn't even going to put the Robin-clothes scene in, except that it was requested! (BTW, I accept all reviews, so I wouldn't have minded even if it was a flame!)
Prospero53223: It's a good thing you didn't die, as I don't want to be arrested for some sort of degree murder… :D Thank you, as always.
St Earns: Ahhh, the Win98 Daily Crash. I remember it well. Win XP makes me mad, as it consistently informs me that I should not go into Drive C lest I delete some important file and crash the system. Little does it know, I MUST, as all my old files are still stuck somewhere on it. I still don't have them organized… Anyways, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Ayjah: Ooo, I like your name. Observe the update!
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Thanks for all the reviews, etc., I have received from both versions of the story!
See you in the manga aisle of a bookstore sometime (as opposed to the funny papers?),
Ais
