Welcome back my readers! This chapter will be mainly Quatre's POV if you
read my last chapter you know Quatre is VERY sick. So that explains why
Trowa and Duo are there. I may rotate to Duo's POV a little but it will be
Quatre's for the most part. *~*~*~*~* = POV change
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^= time change
Chapter Two:
I wasn't expecting Duo to appear at my door. I was a little shocked he had up and decided to see me. It was different but not exactly uncommon. He sees me a lot more than he sees some other people. Take Heero for example. I don't think he's seen Heero since the occurrence with Mariemaia. Personally I was a little disappointed when Heero took off, I had always kinda thought they were meant for each other... not like Trowa and me. Trowa doesn't like me, that's a little obvious.
Which brings me to my next point. I was not expecting Duo... I nearly caught a fly when Trowa came in. Trowa... my sweet Trowa... my handsome Trowa... he has no idea how handsome he is, or if he does he doesn't show it. I have known I loved him for a very long time but I could NEVER tell him because with that knowledge came the realization he most assuredly does NOT love me.
I wasn't trying to hide my illness I really didn't think it was that serious. I mean before Duo showed up it was barely a fever I swear it! My servants insisted I wasn't to move around though... they always worry when I get sick. Now here I am, with a temperature of oh my god above zero and coughing up a storm. Now to make it worse I have my love here in my weakness.
Now these dreams I've been having... they are not exactly helping matters. A faceless person stands above me and grips my throat and I know your not supposed to be able to feel pain in dreams but it hurts. It really, really hurts. It kind of feels like two pieces of iron are contracting on my throat squeezing the life from me a little at a time and I can't draw a breath, all I can do is hang helplessly as the faceless person squeezes tighter and tighter until I can feel myself dying inside... then I wake up. Strange, I know.
Now as I gaze into Trowa's seemingly worried eyes I can't stifle the hope that even if he doesn't love me at least he cares about me. Maybe duo did the right thing in calling him here to my deathbed. It is nice to have him close now... even if it is for the last time.
I've come to he realization that I am never going to live through this. I have been dying a little inside since the war... it's just that now my suffering is bared for everyone to see and I'm ashamed. I have been secretly anorexic since I met Trowa, desperately trying to be good enough for him. I know it was a poor choice and I knew it then too. I just wanted him to like me so badly... I thought if I was thin that maybe he would.
I'm not stupid. I know anorexia is a serious condition and can lead to fatal illness... it just didn't seem... like that would happen to me you know? I know all the lines, teenagers! Never think it will happen to them! I know all of them ok so leave me alone... I just wanted him to like me so badly I was willing to do anything.
You know after all we went through in the war I think maybe it will be nice to just lay down and accept my fate. I heard if you die in your sleep you don't feel any pain after all. I'm really glad Trowa is here for my end. It makes it a little easier... and it's nice to get this much attention from him. Now all that's left is to close my eyes and face the reaper... that faceless person in my dreams. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After Trowa arrived I was kind of relieved. Quatre looked scared before he got here. But now he seemed calm, and the doctor would be here soon and I thought it was all gonna be all right. That was, until I got a good look in Quatre's eyes. One look there made my heart jump with sudden realization. He was giving up! Giving up, after all we had been through! He had survived the war survived the oppression and discrimination soldiers faced afterwards and now he was giving up!
I turned to Trowa. "Hey tro? Why don't you go ask the servants what's taking the doctor?" He readily agreed, not knowing what to do with Quatre and left the room. I walked to Quatre's bed. "So that's it huh?" I asked with an appalled tone. "After making it through everything with us this is finally it? The straw breaking the camels back?" Quatre looked at me with a disheartened expression. "I'm sorry Duo I can't do this anymore."
I sighed. There was nothing else I could do. If he wanted to give up no one could talk him out of it. I could certainly understand his point of view. I had also been contemplating just packing it in for some time now. I still might. I looked at him in dismay. "I know Quatre... it's been hard for me too... but... but still... I'll miss you if you die." Quatre looked down a kind of crestfallen look finding it's way across his features usually so optimistic and effervescent. This was the last place I had expected to find that view of ennui.
"Oh Quatre... what the hell happened?" I asked almost fearing his response. I remembered a similar thing to this happening to my street leader Solo once and the thing that knocked him over the edge well... isn't something I would wish upon anyone much less my little brother.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
It was dark. We told the time by the shade of the sky here in L2 and by the purple shade hovering over my head I estimated it had to be close to eight o clock. Solo left around four... he should have been home by now. As I gazed around at my companions I wanted to be sick. It appeared I was the only one who took unease in the fact that our forerunner had not returned.
I left them all with their provident poker games and their careless demeanor and I went to find my compeer. I searched for what felt like hours, wandering among the forgotten, and the dying souls that wandered the desolate streets of my home. I saw a baby child withering in the gutter. But no one spared it a second glance, no one stopped to help, no one even cared. But that wasn't surprising. No one on L2 gave a damn for anyone but himself or herself.
I finally found him naked and trembling in a back alley. It was painfully obvious what had happened. He had been raped and left to die. I couldn't tell you how it made me feel... because in all honesty I didn't really know. I didn't really think at all just acted. I took my shirt and gave it to him to start with because I had seen a boy freeze to death before and it wasn't an experience I cared much for repeating. I told him it was ok and I hugged him. I knew exactly what he needed because I remember him doing the same thing for me when I was raped. That's not an experience I care much for repeating either. It was down right frightening to be sitting and comforting the person I seen as a kind of big brother figure. Maybe if I had gotten there earlier then the cold wouldn't have sparked the symptoms of the plague and I could have saved my best friend. But the past is the past is the past and you can't change it so there's no real point bitching about it. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
It was at that moment that Quatre shifted and I looked at him troubled. Quatre opened his mouth to say something but stopped I squeezed his shoulder to wordlessly encourage him and he swallowed. "He... he hates me Duo... He hates me!"
Chapter Two:
I wasn't expecting Duo to appear at my door. I was a little shocked he had up and decided to see me. It was different but not exactly uncommon. He sees me a lot more than he sees some other people. Take Heero for example. I don't think he's seen Heero since the occurrence with Mariemaia. Personally I was a little disappointed when Heero took off, I had always kinda thought they were meant for each other... not like Trowa and me. Trowa doesn't like me, that's a little obvious.
Which brings me to my next point. I was not expecting Duo... I nearly caught a fly when Trowa came in. Trowa... my sweet Trowa... my handsome Trowa... he has no idea how handsome he is, or if he does he doesn't show it. I have known I loved him for a very long time but I could NEVER tell him because with that knowledge came the realization he most assuredly does NOT love me.
I wasn't trying to hide my illness I really didn't think it was that serious. I mean before Duo showed up it was barely a fever I swear it! My servants insisted I wasn't to move around though... they always worry when I get sick. Now here I am, with a temperature of oh my god above zero and coughing up a storm. Now to make it worse I have my love here in my weakness.
Now these dreams I've been having... they are not exactly helping matters. A faceless person stands above me and grips my throat and I know your not supposed to be able to feel pain in dreams but it hurts. It really, really hurts. It kind of feels like two pieces of iron are contracting on my throat squeezing the life from me a little at a time and I can't draw a breath, all I can do is hang helplessly as the faceless person squeezes tighter and tighter until I can feel myself dying inside... then I wake up. Strange, I know.
Now as I gaze into Trowa's seemingly worried eyes I can't stifle the hope that even if he doesn't love me at least he cares about me. Maybe duo did the right thing in calling him here to my deathbed. It is nice to have him close now... even if it is for the last time.
I've come to he realization that I am never going to live through this. I have been dying a little inside since the war... it's just that now my suffering is bared for everyone to see and I'm ashamed. I have been secretly anorexic since I met Trowa, desperately trying to be good enough for him. I know it was a poor choice and I knew it then too. I just wanted him to like me so badly... I thought if I was thin that maybe he would.
I'm not stupid. I know anorexia is a serious condition and can lead to fatal illness... it just didn't seem... like that would happen to me you know? I know all the lines, teenagers! Never think it will happen to them! I know all of them ok so leave me alone... I just wanted him to like me so badly I was willing to do anything.
You know after all we went through in the war I think maybe it will be nice to just lay down and accept my fate. I heard if you die in your sleep you don't feel any pain after all. I'm really glad Trowa is here for my end. It makes it a little easier... and it's nice to get this much attention from him. Now all that's left is to close my eyes and face the reaper... that faceless person in my dreams. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After Trowa arrived I was kind of relieved. Quatre looked scared before he got here. But now he seemed calm, and the doctor would be here soon and I thought it was all gonna be all right. That was, until I got a good look in Quatre's eyes. One look there made my heart jump with sudden realization. He was giving up! Giving up, after all we had been through! He had survived the war survived the oppression and discrimination soldiers faced afterwards and now he was giving up!
I turned to Trowa. "Hey tro? Why don't you go ask the servants what's taking the doctor?" He readily agreed, not knowing what to do with Quatre and left the room. I walked to Quatre's bed. "So that's it huh?" I asked with an appalled tone. "After making it through everything with us this is finally it? The straw breaking the camels back?" Quatre looked at me with a disheartened expression. "I'm sorry Duo I can't do this anymore."
I sighed. There was nothing else I could do. If he wanted to give up no one could talk him out of it. I could certainly understand his point of view. I had also been contemplating just packing it in for some time now. I still might. I looked at him in dismay. "I know Quatre... it's been hard for me too... but... but still... I'll miss you if you die." Quatre looked down a kind of crestfallen look finding it's way across his features usually so optimistic and effervescent. This was the last place I had expected to find that view of ennui.
"Oh Quatre... what the hell happened?" I asked almost fearing his response. I remembered a similar thing to this happening to my street leader Solo once and the thing that knocked him over the edge well... isn't something I would wish upon anyone much less my little brother.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
It was dark. We told the time by the shade of the sky here in L2 and by the purple shade hovering over my head I estimated it had to be close to eight o clock. Solo left around four... he should have been home by now. As I gazed around at my companions I wanted to be sick. It appeared I was the only one who took unease in the fact that our forerunner had not returned.
I left them all with their provident poker games and their careless demeanor and I went to find my compeer. I searched for what felt like hours, wandering among the forgotten, and the dying souls that wandered the desolate streets of my home. I saw a baby child withering in the gutter. But no one spared it a second glance, no one stopped to help, no one even cared. But that wasn't surprising. No one on L2 gave a damn for anyone but himself or herself.
I finally found him naked and trembling in a back alley. It was painfully obvious what had happened. He had been raped and left to die. I couldn't tell you how it made me feel... because in all honesty I didn't really know. I didn't really think at all just acted. I took my shirt and gave it to him to start with because I had seen a boy freeze to death before and it wasn't an experience I cared much for repeating. I told him it was ok and I hugged him. I knew exactly what he needed because I remember him doing the same thing for me when I was raped. That's not an experience I care much for repeating either. It was down right frightening to be sitting and comforting the person I seen as a kind of big brother figure. Maybe if I had gotten there earlier then the cold wouldn't have sparked the symptoms of the plague and I could have saved my best friend. But the past is the past is the past and you can't change it so there's no real point bitching about it. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
It was at that moment that Quatre shifted and I looked at him troubled. Quatre opened his mouth to say something but stopped I squeezed his shoulder to wordlessly encourage him and he swallowed. "He... he hates me Duo... He hates me!"
