To Nari: J . K. IS taking her sweet time isn't she? But no fear , the book
comes out in June. But on the risk of talking for hours about my Harry P.
obsession , I'll answer your question concerning our friend Melissa. First
off , Melissa is not like Rachel or Cassie. She is just herself. But if I
must compare , I'll say she is not as violent as Rachel , but more willing
to make the decisions that Cassie is not. She has a good heart , but she
understands reality. I usually 'honor' all my reviewers by either
mentioning or answering their questions, *laughs* but you are welcome just
the same.
DH : I will try to answers your questions in order. First off , when was Ax ever completely right about anything? Cough*Captain Samelin*cough. And who said the Mendelites were not smart enough to duplicate that technology themselves? ( Ah , the beauty of fanfiction.) Walking around at school with controllers to recognize them? Could ask the animorphs the same thing. Maybe they wanted some shred of a normal life. As far as Mendelites go , it's hard to track someone who's real first name you don't even know , and doesn't have any records. Sorry did I say any? I meant counterfeit records.^^ Don't get me wrong. All in all , I'm glad you've paid that much attention. I feel challenged to explain better. But use your imagination a little more. Sabrina beat up VISSER THREE. Do you honestly think Chapman and a few little measely human controllers could handle her on their own? Not to mention all the others combined? In a public place for people to notice , no less?
Note to all: Actually when the Mendelites first made their appearance , the animorphs cover was blown. ( Thus you can tell I was an early fan , and the series hadn't ended.) Short version of story: The Medelites have some pretty bad blackmail on Visser Three. He does not want it made public , therefore he doesn't attack the animorphs directly except in battle - most of the time. After all , he is Visser Three. What's the black mail? (Smiles) since I do not know , neither will you. I should have explained this in the beginning. My bad. Sorry for any confusion it has caused. Also , just to clear something up , the Animorphs and Mendelites are allies. The Mendelites function as their own group. They respect each other , but the Mendelites don't take orders from Jake , and the Animorphs don't take orders from Sabrina.
Chapter 11-
I held the weapon in an angle they could see. I wanted to look threatening. To show them I was in control. But the pit of my stomach was caving in.
Blood thirsty as Taxxons are , I guess they were sentient enough for the sight of a sharp blade to make them hesitate. They still eyed me , but wearily. It was I kept turning slowly, trying to watch every direction. I was in the center of a circle of foes. I felt I envied Madison right then for all her training.
Then suddenly one behind me lunged! But I heard the sound of its vile hissing breath before it reached me.
I don't know what I felt. I didn't think. There was no time to think. I reacted. I spun to face my attacker and swung the sword hard - it's twitching head fell to the ground. I stared at it in disbelief that I could wield so much power.
Two of the monsters lunged forward to eat what was left of it. I took advantage of this , and swung my sword as they ran past me. Taxxon blood splattered my arms and face. The air reeked of it. The others figured I wasn't worth it and ran , except for one fool hardy creature who decided that if he was going to die he may as well get a bite in first. I took him down too.
I had been vaguely aware of the blood seeping into the ground. But now I was fully aware of the mess I'd made. It was like my sub consciousness had taken over while I was fighting , and I was just waking up to myself again. And I suddenly felt very , very , sick.
I stared in horror , dumbstruck by what I had done. I hadn't fought. I had slaughtered. And without a second thought.
Taxxons , can be killed with a kitchen knife, someone's voice echoed at me.
No. It was self defense. They'd have killed me, my mind argued. I should be proud that I fought all of them off on my own.
I can't speculate on how I really felt. I mean , what else was I supposed to do? It was the law of nature to kill or be killed. Perfectly logical , right? Totally justified. And they were aliens on my planet. Not my people. Nothing to do with me at all - yet I felt.
The tip of my sword dripped steadily. I let it clatter to the ground. I wiped my face with my hands. Then I stared at my bloody hands , holding them away as if they didn't belong with the rest of my body. My legs wobbled , and I fell against a tree. My head would not stop spinning. Whether it was right or wrong , I felt repulsed by what I had done.
I faintly heard someone walking towards me. A shape was moving into the light. No , two shapes. I squinted at them in my fatigue.
They were like the bladed corpse , except one difference. They were alive. And they were glaring at me. One walked menacingly up to me. A tattered blue band hung loosely off its arm. Hot breath was on my face. I went for the sword. He knocked it out of my hand in one swift movement. It flew off into the darkness. Orange infernos stared into my eyes and held me in place.
"You mine, animorph." it asserted , in an ugly snarl.
Animorph? Animorph?! Oh my God they thought - who cares?! I was going to die. I was going to -
It pinned my arms roughly from behind. " No!"
The other Hork-Bajir laughed at my feeble effort to struggle , as his comrade pulled back my head , exposing my throat. He sauntered forward and placed his wrist blade on my neck.
" You no beg for mercy , animorph?" it jeered.
" Never." The words were out of my mouth before I understood them. Too bad I couldn't have sounded braver. But maybe being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid.
A sneer spread over its gruesome , battle wounded face. " Then die." My eyes widened to their full extent as he drew back his blade. Then -
" HRRUUUUUUUhhhhhhh!!!!!"
An elephant's trunk wrapped around my aggressor's waist and flung him a couple of feet. His screams died in the distance. Oh man , I LOVE doing that!
Rachel? Was it Rachel? The elephant was bleeding. It had an ear missing. Bloody marks ran down its left side.
The Hork-Bajir holding me froze and gaped. Bad move. It the next instant , Rachel had picked up a fell tree branch and whacked him across the head with it. He dropped to ground in a sprawled position.
The elephant dropped the branch right on top of him. There. That ought to keep him still.
She chuckled almost gleefully. I could only stare. I took a moment to marvel that I was alive , then asked cautiously , " Rachel?"
A long pause. Then , Yeah.
Her voice was going back to normal. The battle was draining out of her elephant eyes.
I walked up to her. Despite what I felt earlier , it's hard to be upset with someone who just saved your life. " You're hurt."
Forget it. You're a mess yourself. Are you ok? Did they hurt you? Rachels voice was tight with concern.
I smiled grimly. " No. But I hurt some Taxxons."
It had been a long time sense I'd heard concern in Rachel's voice for me. It almost felt like things were normal between us again. Almost.
"All right!" I heard Sabrina's voice shouting. " I think they're drawing back! Let's do the same!"
I heard sirens in the distance. Sounded like fire trucks.
Tobias fluttered over head. Lavender's done her round pretty thoroughly in the forest , thinks it's safe to de - Melissa! What happened?
" I'm ok." It was all I could say. I felt strange. Like I was watching everything from far way.
Then Mendelites made their way into the clearing. The animorphs began to demorph. I felt even more weirded out in their presence. I'd seen these people at school nearly every day in my life , whereas the Mendelite's were a recent acquaintance.
Rachel just avoided my eyes. Marco looked smug. " Score 10 points for the humans!" he exulted. " Who'da thought?"
They were an odd assortment of kids dressed in various types of spandex. I kind of stared , then remembered what Sabrina said about morphing and clothes. They looked exhausted , but relieved.
" Yes , Visser Three sure did a sucky job when he investigated this planet." Lavender agreed ,sounding highly critical. " Surely he knew he couldn't just start this big fire in the woods and the humans not have special units to prevent such happenings. Even I knew that."
" Well they're lucky we beat down their forces before they got here , or it could have been worse." Sabrina said grimly. Her curls hung messily down her face. " It's only because they had so few left standing that they didn't take all those firefighters prisoner. Someone must have seen the blaze and reported it."
" Yes , lucky." said Jake , with about the same demeanor. I nearly felt sorry for him. He looked drained. " It was too close."
The wind rustled pass , making him shiver in him spandex pants and muscle shirt.
" I wish we could thank them." Madison said wistfully. " They saved us allot of work."
Sabrina suddenly noticed me. " Melissa , what happened?!"
I wished they would stop asking me that. Every time my bloodstained state was mentioned , the Taxxon battle would replay in my head.
Rachel saved me having to explain much. She said she fought some Taxxons. But when I found her some Hork-Bajir were getting ready to slice her , so I.kind of got rid of them."
She motioned to the unconscious one a few feet away.
I felt another wave of reluctant gratitude. You see , I was annoyed. I didn't want to feel gratitude. I wanted to stay angry at her. I didn't want to be in the debt of someone who had been keeping secrets from me for months. Someone who called me her friend.
" You look bothered." Cassie commented , studying me intently.
I flushed. It wasn't supposed to show. Sabrina came and stood beside me.
She started to answer Cassie , but M.C. beat her to it. " Of course she's bothered! Look at all she's had to go through in one night!"
"The first battle is never easy for anyone." Madison added in a low voice. " By the way , where'd you drop my sword?"
I pointed. She went off to retrieve it.
Matt was eyeing the unconscious Hork-Bajir with distaste. " The air reeks of blood."
" Yeah , let's move." Marco agreed. " He doesn't add much to the scenery."
Sabrina took my arm and we began to walk back towards what I was now thinking of as 'the Mendelite tree.'
" You guys should head home." Matt said. " You're parents will be suspicious."
" Will you guys be okay?" Jake asked. " Lavender , Tobias , are you sure they retreated?"
" WHAT? They hauled tail." Lavender said laughing. " Visser Three looked so pissed at them."
I would have seen them if any stayed. Tobias said confidently.
Suddenly , what at first I thought was a blue deer leapt into our path. All clear Prince Jake.
I know I stared. " An Andalite? Who-"
Marco laughed at my face. " Meet our resident alien , Ax , who spends most of his time drooling over eminem adds , constantly has to remind himself that engine oil is not a beverage , and sits for hours in front of a t.v. complaining when the commercials are interrupted."
This information did not tell a bit , if you're wondering.
" Aximili -Esgarrouth-Isthil , sometimes called Ax." Matt smiled.
" We call him Aximli." Madison said returning with her sword.
" I told you about Aximili , remember?" Sabrina asked.
I nodded.
" Don't worry." said Rachel , attempting to be amusing. " He's only dangerous if you're a Yeerk , claim to have better technology than Andalites , or try to steal chocolate from him."
But it sounded like a strained joke. She was trying too hard to act like our relationship had never changed. I forced a small smile.
I am sorry to have met you under such conditions. Ax/Aximili said. I think you will get on with the Mendelites though. They have an almost andalite hospitality.
Lavender leaned over and whispered to me loud enough to hear. " I think ours is better."
She winked at me and the young Andalite puffed out his chest indignantly. I laughed aloud. A real laugh.
" Well , you seem to be happy with your new friends." Cassie smiled approvingly. " It's almost as though you guys just fit."
I smiled back. " Well , they did save my life."
" You should have seen the number of Taxxons she defeated!" Madison cried , giving her sword a wave. " When I found my sword , they were piled! She helped defend this forest as much as us tonight."
I felt pride through my shame. I wasn't going to be judged by these people. They understood. I felt relief.
" What do you say , Jake?" Sabrina smiled slyly. " I think we have a new candidate for the morphing cube."
" She can't have just a sword to defend herself with , Jake." Matt agreed. " We Mendelites , at least we have our skills."
" And if I said no , you'd only try to build another morphing cube , stealing parts from radio shack and Yeerk facilities , breaking a hundred security rules an hour." Jake predicted.
Lavender grinned widely. " Wanna test us?"
Jake looked like he was almost fighting a smile despite himself. " Fine. We'll bring it tomorrow."
Cassie , Marco and Jake began to morph birds of prey. I tried not to look at their changing bodies too closely. It's not always pleasant.
Rachel scanned the trees. " He left again."
Tobias often has a lot of thoughts in his head. Aximili said. I do not think he wanted to offend you , Rachel , just not to burden you.
"Yeah. Thanks Ax." she said distractedly still looking at the sky as the Andalite began to morph.
" You know the way back , right?" Sabrina asked me. She didn't wait for an answer. "Well , you two ought to catch up. Meet you at home."
They made the fasted exit I ever saw - levitated and glided away through the air. Swiftly.
" Did they tell me they could do that?" I wondered dumbstruck.
" Ax says the Mendelites can do allot of strange techniques. Has allot to do with the energy levels in their body , which are uncommonly high. They've learned to manipulate it." Rachel shook her head exasperated. " Ax went into the whole scientific explanation , but you know what? I don't think even he understood what he was saying."
There was a bit of awkward silence. " You're angry at me."
" I am?"
" Come one Melissa , I know you. I don't have to be Cassie to see it." Rachel said.
" If you know me so well , why didn't you trust me? You knew I wasn't a controller." I sounded bitter.
" I didn't want to ruin your life , Melissa!" Rachel protested. " I wanted you to be happy!"
" Was I happy Rachel? With you never talking to me , having only Fluffer to talk to? A life based on lies. Wonderful." Rachel looked angry. " I didn't mean for things to turn out that way. Certainly not this way."
Some of my resolve weakened. " I know. I just wished you would have tried."
" Wished I would have tried. You have no idea what its like!" Rachel yelled at me. " I have been trying for the past several hundred years , it feels like , to make the best decisions I could! Maybe I screwed up. You obviously weren't happy , but if you think I was ,you're wrong."
" At least you had people, Rachel. I could have coped better knowing why my parents were like they were. I would have blamed myself less." I sounded hurt. I wasn't angry anymore just sad. " It must have been tough for you in different ways , and you probably did the best you could."
" But.." Rachel sounded as resentful as I had felt.
" But that one decision you made with my life cost me. Big time." I finished.
She turned away. I knew I had hurt her , but honesty is a big thing with me. That didn't stop me from feeling very guilty.
She began to morph.
I felt like I had to say something. Couldn't just let her go like that. " Rachel - it's in the past. I'm alive , so it's not like I'm saying I hold it against you. I just wish .."
I faltered and looked at the ground. The regret , was too much. Tears pushed at my eyelashes. " ..I wish things had been different."
Yeah , me too.
And in a flutter of wings she was gone. I knew things would probably not be the same. And I felt it was all the Yeerks fault. I hated them.
I now knew the meaning of the term 'heart heavy with sadness'. I turned and trudged back towards what was now my new home.
DH : I will try to answers your questions in order. First off , when was Ax ever completely right about anything? Cough*Captain Samelin*cough. And who said the Mendelites were not smart enough to duplicate that technology themselves? ( Ah , the beauty of fanfiction.) Walking around at school with controllers to recognize them? Could ask the animorphs the same thing. Maybe they wanted some shred of a normal life. As far as Mendelites go , it's hard to track someone who's real first name you don't even know , and doesn't have any records. Sorry did I say any? I meant counterfeit records.^^ Don't get me wrong. All in all , I'm glad you've paid that much attention. I feel challenged to explain better. But use your imagination a little more. Sabrina beat up VISSER THREE. Do you honestly think Chapman and a few little measely human controllers could handle her on their own? Not to mention all the others combined? In a public place for people to notice , no less?
Note to all: Actually when the Mendelites first made their appearance , the animorphs cover was blown. ( Thus you can tell I was an early fan , and the series hadn't ended.) Short version of story: The Medelites have some pretty bad blackmail on Visser Three. He does not want it made public , therefore he doesn't attack the animorphs directly except in battle - most of the time. After all , he is Visser Three. What's the black mail? (Smiles) since I do not know , neither will you. I should have explained this in the beginning. My bad. Sorry for any confusion it has caused. Also , just to clear something up , the Animorphs and Mendelites are allies. The Mendelites function as their own group. They respect each other , but the Mendelites don't take orders from Jake , and the Animorphs don't take orders from Sabrina.
Chapter 11-
I held the weapon in an angle they could see. I wanted to look threatening. To show them I was in control. But the pit of my stomach was caving in.
Blood thirsty as Taxxons are , I guess they were sentient enough for the sight of a sharp blade to make them hesitate. They still eyed me , but wearily. It was I kept turning slowly, trying to watch every direction. I was in the center of a circle of foes. I felt I envied Madison right then for all her training.
Then suddenly one behind me lunged! But I heard the sound of its vile hissing breath before it reached me.
I don't know what I felt. I didn't think. There was no time to think. I reacted. I spun to face my attacker and swung the sword hard - it's twitching head fell to the ground. I stared at it in disbelief that I could wield so much power.
Two of the monsters lunged forward to eat what was left of it. I took advantage of this , and swung my sword as they ran past me. Taxxon blood splattered my arms and face. The air reeked of it. The others figured I wasn't worth it and ran , except for one fool hardy creature who decided that if he was going to die he may as well get a bite in first. I took him down too.
I had been vaguely aware of the blood seeping into the ground. But now I was fully aware of the mess I'd made. It was like my sub consciousness had taken over while I was fighting , and I was just waking up to myself again. And I suddenly felt very , very , sick.
I stared in horror , dumbstruck by what I had done. I hadn't fought. I had slaughtered. And without a second thought.
Taxxons , can be killed with a kitchen knife, someone's voice echoed at me.
No. It was self defense. They'd have killed me, my mind argued. I should be proud that I fought all of them off on my own.
I can't speculate on how I really felt. I mean , what else was I supposed to do? It was the law of nature to kill or be killed. Perfectly logical , right? Totally justified. And they were aliens on my planet. Not my people. Nothing to do with me at all - yet I felt.
The tip of my sword dripped steadily. I let it clatter to the ground. I wiped my face with my hands. Then I stared at my bloody hands , holding them away as if they didn't belong with the rest of my body. My legs wobbled , and I fell against a tree. My head would not stop spinning. Whether it was right or wrong , I felt repulsed by what I had done.
I faintly heard someone walking towards me. A shape was moving into the light. No , two shapes. I squinted at them in my fatigue.
They were like the bladed corpse , except one difference. They were alive. And they were glaring at me. One walked menacingly up to me. A tattered blue band hung loosely off its arm. Hot breath was on my face. I went for the sword. He knocked it out of my hand in one swift movement. It flew off into the darkness. Orange infernos stared into my eyes and held me in place.
"You mine, animorph." it asserted , in an ugly snarl.
Animorph? Animorph?! Oh my God they thought - who cares?! I was going to die. I was going to -
It pinned my arms roughly from behind. " No!"
The other Hork-Bajir laughed at my feeble effort to struggle , as his comrade pulled back my head , exposing my throat. He sauntered forward and placed his wrist blade on my neck.
" You no beg for mercy , animorph?" it jeered.
" Never." The words were out of my mouth before I understood them. Too bad I couldn't have sounded braver. But maybe being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid.
A sneer spread over its gruesome , battle wounded face. " Then die." My eyes widened to their full extent as he drew back his blade. Then -
" HRRUUUUUUUhhhhhhh!!!!!"
An elephant's trunk wrapped around my aggressor's waist and flung him a couple of feet. His screams died in the distance. Oh man , I LOVE doing that!
Rachel? Was it Rachel? The elephant was bleeding. It had an ear missing. Bloody marks ran down its left side.
The Hork-Bajir holding me froze and gaped. Bad move. It the next instant , Rachel had picked up a fell tree branch and whacked him across the head with it. He dropped to ground in a sprawled position.
The elephant dropped the branch right on top of him. There. That ought to keep him still.
She chuckled almost gleefully. I could only stare. I took a moment to marvel that I was alive , then asked cautiously , " Rachel?"
A long pause. Then , Yeah.
Her voice was going back to normal. The battle was draining out of her elephant eyes.
I walked up to her. Despite what I felt earlier , it's hard to be upset with someone who just saved your life. " You're hurt."
Forget it. You're a mess yourself. Are you ok? Did they hurt you? Rachels voice was tight with concern.
I smiled grimly. " No. But I hurt some Taxxons."
It had been a long time sense I'd heard concern in Rachel's voice for me. It almost felt like things were normal between us again. Almost.
"All right!" I heard Sabrina's voice shouting. " I think they're drawing back! Let's do the same!"
I heard sirens in the distance. Sounded like fire trucks.
Tobias fluttered over head. Lavender's done her round pretty thoroughly in the forest , thinks it's safe to de - Melissa! What happened?
" I'm ok." It was all I could say. I felt strange. Like I was watching everything from far way.
Then Mendelites made their way into the clearing. The animorphs began to demorph. I felt even more weirded out in their presence. I'd seen these people at school nearly every day in my life , whereas the Mendelite's were a recent acquaintance.
Rachel just avoided my eyes. Marco looked smug. " Score 10 points for the humans!" he exulted. " Who'da thought?"
They were an odd assortment of kids dressed in various types of spandex. I kind of stared , then remembered what Sabrina said about morphing and clothes. They looked exhausted , but relieved.
" Yes , Visser Three sure did a sucky job when he investigated this planet." Lavender agreed ,sounding highly critical. " Surely he knew he couldn't just start this big fire in the woods and the humans not have special units to prevent such happenings. Even I knew that."
" Well they're lucky we beat down their forces before they got here , or it could have been worse." Sabrina said grimly. Her curls hung messily down her face. " It's only because they had so few left standing that they didn't take all those firefighters prisoner. Someone must have seen the blaze and reported it."
" Yes , lucky." said Jake , with about the same demeanor. I nearly felt sorry for him. He looked drained. " It was too close."
The wind rustled pass , making him shiver in him spandex pants and muscle shirt.
" I wish we could thank them." Madison said wistfully. " They saved us allot of work."
Sabrina suddenly noticed me. " Melissa , what happened?!"
I wished they would stop asking me that. Every time my bloodstained state was mentioned , the Taxxon battle would replay in my head.
Rachel saved me having to explain much. She said she fought some Taxxons. But when I found her some Hork-Bajir were getting ready to slice her , so I.kind of got rid of them."
She motioned to the unconscious one a few feet away.
I felt another wave of reluctant gratitude. You see , I was annoyed. I didn't want to feel gratitude. I wanted to stay angry at her. I didn't want to be in the debt of someone who had been keeping secrets from me for months. Someone who called me her friend.
" You look bothered." Cassie commented , studying me intently.
I flushed. It wasn't supposed to show. Sabrina came and stood beside me.
She started to answer Cassie , but M.C. beat her to it. " Of course she's bothered! Look at all she's had to go through in one night!"
"The first battle is never easy for anyone." Madison added in a low voice. " By the way , where'd you drop my sword?"
I pointed. She went off to retrieve it.
Matt was eyeing the unconscious Hork-Bajir with distaste. " The air reeks of blood."
" Yeah , let's move." Marco agreed. " He doesn't add much to the scenery."
Sabrina took my arm and we began to walk back towards what I was now thinking of as 'the Mendelite tree.'
" You guys should head home." Matt said. " You're parents will be suspicious."
" Will you guys be okay?" Jake asked. " Lavender , Tobias , are you sure they retreated?"
" WHAT? They hauled tail." Lavender said laughing. " Visser Three looked so pissed at them."
I would have seen them if any stayed. Tobias said confidently.
Suddenly , what at first I thought was a blue deer leapt into our path. All clear Prince Jake.
I know I stared. " An Andalite? Who-"
Marco laughed at my face. " Meet our resident alien , Ax , who spends most of his time drooling over eminem adds , constantly has to remind himself that engine oil is not a beverage , and sits for hours in front of a t.v. complaining when the commercials are interrupted."
This information did not tell a bit , if you're wondering.
" Aximili -Esgarrouth-Isthil , sometimes called Ax." Matt smiled.
" We call him Aximli." Madison said returning with her sword.
" I told you about Aximili , remember?" Sabrina asked.
I nodded.
" Don't worry." said Rachel , attempting to be amusing. " He's only dangerous if you're a Yeerk , claim to have better technology than Andalites , or try to steal chocolate from him."
But it sounded like a strained joke. She was trying too hard to act like our relationship had never changed. I forced a small smile.
I am sorry to have met you under such conditions. Ax/Aximili said. I think you will get on with the Mendelites though. They have an almost andalite hospitality.
Lavender leaned over and whispered to me loud enough to hear. " I think ours is better."
She winked at me and the young Andalite puffed out his chest indignantly. I laughed aloud. A real laugh.
" Well , you seem to be happy with your new friends." Cassie smiled approvingly. " It's almost as though you guys just fit."
I smiled back. " Well , they did save my life."
" You should have seen the number of Taxxons she defeated!" Madison cried , giving her sword a wave. " When I found my sword , they were piled! She helped defend this forest as much as us tonight."
I felt pride through my shame. I wasn't going to be judged by these people. They understood. I felt relief.
" What do you say , Jake?" Sabrina smiled slyly. " I think we have a new candidate for the morphing cube."
" She can't have just a sword to defend herself with , Jake." Matt agreed. " We Mendelites , at least we have our skills."
" And if I said no , you'd only try to build another morphing cube , stealing parts from radio shack and Yeerk facilities , breaking a hundred security rules an hour." Jake predicted.
Lavender grinned widely. " Wanna test us?"
Jake looked like he was almost fighting a smile despite himself. " Fine. We'll bring it tomorrow."
Cassie , Marco and Jake began to morph birds of prey. I tried not to look at their changing bodies too closely. It's not always pleasant.
Rachel scanned the trees. " He left again."
Tobias often has a lot of thoughts in his head. Aximili said. I do not think he wanted to offend you , Rachel , just not to burden you.
"Yeah. Thanks Ax." she said distractedly still looking at the sky as the Andalite began to morph.
" You know the way back , right?" Sabrina asked me. She didn't wait for an answer. "Well , you two ought to catch up. Meet you at home."
They made the fasted exit I ever saw - levitated and glided away through the air. Swiftly.
" Did they tell me they could do that?" I wondered dumbstruck.
" Ax says the Mendelites can do allot of strange techniques. Has allot to do with the energy levels in their body , which are uncommonly high. They've learned to manipulate it." Rachel shook her head exasperated. " Ax went into the whole scientific explanation , but you know what? I don't think even he understood what he was saying."
There was a bit of awkward silence. " You're angry at me."
" I am?"
" Come one Melissa , I know you. I don't have to be Cassie to see it." Rachel said.
" If you know me so well , why didn't you trust me? You knew I wasn't a controller." I sounded bitter.
" I didn't want to ruin your life , Melissa!" Rachel protested. " I wanted you to be happy!"
" Was I happy Rachel? With you never talking to me , having only Fluffer to talk to? A life based on lies. Wonderful." Rachel looked angry. " I didn't mean for things to turn out that way. Certainly not this way."
Some of my resolve weakened. " I know. I just wished you would have tried."
" Wished I would have tried. You have no idea what its like!" Rachel yelled at me. " I have been trying for the past several hundred years , it feels like , to make the best decisions I could! Maybe I screwed up. You obviously weren't happy , but if you think I was ,you're wrong."
" At least you had people, Rachel. I could have coped better knowing why my parents were like they were. I would have blamed myself less." I sounded hurt. I wasn't angry anymore just sad. " It must have been tough for you in different ways , and you probably did the best you could."
" But.." Rachel sounded as resentful as I had felt.
" But that one decision you made with my life cost me. Big time." I finished.
She turned away. I knew I had hurt her , but honesty is a big thing with me. That didn't stop me from feeling very guilty.
She began to morph.
I felt like I had to say something. Couldn't just let her go like that. " Rachel - it's in the past. I'm alive , so it's not like I'm saying I hold it against you. I just wish .."
I faltered and looked at the ground. The regret , was too much. Tears pushed at my eyelashes. " ..I wish things had been different."
Yeah , me too.
And in a flutter of wings she was gone. I knew things would probably not be the same. And I felt it was all the Yeerks fault. I hated them.
I now knew the meaning of the term 'heart heavy with sadness'. I turned and trudged back towards what was now my new home.
