Naruto and Shikamaru both walked to Ichiraku's, it was nearly two in the morning, but the old man had a knack for having someone working twenty-four-seven. They both had bags under their eyes, their minds so worked up about the past couple of days. They both entered the small ramen stand and both waved to the old man at the same time.

"Its pretty late kids..." The old man laughed heartily. "What will it be?"

"Pork... Ramen..." Naruto said, his voice showed his weakness, it was as if his body had been on the most intense work out ever.

"BBQ Pork" Shikamaru said, pulling up a seat for himself. His voice reflected that of Naruto's.

The two continued to eat, then finally noticed the other ninja's presence. They looked at each other, ramen still running from the bowl into their mouth. They looked at each other's eyes and realized the predicament the other ninja was in.

"Who are they?" Shikamaru said, breaking the silence.

"Hinata-Chan and Sakura-Chan...You?" Naruto replied dryly. He was way too confused to add any hint of emotion to his speech

"Temari and Ino, god I'm going to die."

"Ah I'm so damn confused... I don't even know... Bah!" Naruto started to gorge slightly, trying to drown his confusion with food.

"So... damn troublesome. You'd think girls would give a guy a break. But those two have me readied for that damn festival like some sort of dog."

"Excuse me... What did you say about us Shikamaru-Kun?" Two voices said in unison. It was chilling and almost rang with the sound of death. Naruto turned his head and his face drained of all color.

"Sorry buddy, you are on your own!" Naruto quickly slapped down the money for the ramen and ran out. Naruto felt bad running out on his friend but a bloody kunai wasn't as scary as the two ninjas looking at Shikamaru.

"Aw... Crap." Shikamaru said, he slapped down the yen and continued to sit idly. "Alright I'm sick of this. You girls can't just boss me around all day. It's four in the morning, what can you girls possibly want? I can't even eat without you two busting my ass. I'm not going back, I'm going to FINISH my food." Shikamaru didn't turn around, but continued to eat instead.

Bad move, very, very bad move. The old man could only say his prayers for the poor deluded genius.

"Ah! This is a violation of my rights! No! You can't do this! It's cruelty to humans! I'm a human! NO! HELP ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Shikamaru cried out as Ino and Temari grabbed him by the collar and was slowly dragging him home. They had probably told him something prior to that event but it was probably so horrific that if Shikamaru said it, all men would flee in terror. "Naruto! Help me! God damn it! This has got to be... the most TROUBLESOME thing EVER!" Shikamaru cried into the night again.

Some would call it torture, some would call it cruelty to ninjas but Temari and Ino called it good hearty fun. Shikamaru was hanging from the ceiling of his own room with his eyes taped open. Temari was showing him his precious shougi and go boards. They were beautifully made, hand-carved and had Shikamaru's insignias carved into each one. And the two kuionichis were breaking them in half and burning the shougi pieces.

"You girls... are the cruelest creature to exist on this planet." Shikamaru hung his head.

"That's what you get... Don't disobey us Shikamaru-Kun." Temari seemed to drag out the last syllable.

"If you do... well the consequences will be much greater. Next time it won't be your shougi boards... it might be one of your pieces..." Ino winked seductively and laughed evilly.

"I hate you both... So very... very much." Shikamaru said, still hanging from the ceiling. Though he didn't mean it, it sounded so right.

"Oh we know you don't Shikamaru... now let's just enjoy the rest of the night." Temari cut Shikamaru down and untied him (not without groping him slightly). "Go to sleep, we got one more date before I hand you off to the competition."

"I have a name you know!" Ino yelled in the background angrily.

"Girls are pure evil, just admit it." Shikamaru almost cried.

"We sure are..." Temari flung a kunai into the light switch and the room plunged into darkness.

Shikamaru crawled out of his bed, energy drained from his face and body. "I hate my life..." The lazy Jouuin continued to crawl his way into the bathroom. There was no hope of escape though. He tried it several times during the night. Tenten and several other female shinobis have been hired to make sure the ninja stays put.

"I hate every single women in this village... No... I hate ALL the women in this WORLD!" Shikamaru declared as he dragged himself up onto the counter and splashed water onto his face. The night was horrible, it was... Shikamaru couldn't even bring the words to the back of his throat, let along out his lips.

Shikamaru did his standard routine, trying to ignore the completely insane girls in his bedroom. God they must've enjoyed torturing him last night, those sadistic... Bah. They weren't worth the Shadow-Users' dirty words.

Pulling up a chair, Shikamaru looked around and realized his parents weren't in the house. They must've gotten a hotel room or something. "Holy crap!" Shikamaru said in disbelief. He got up and pulled the fridge open, grab the milk then poured himself a glass. He left the milk out and the cap on the counter. The fridge was still wide open as well.

No screaming, no yelling, no pointing fingers... life was good. Shikamaru drank from his glass and wiped the liquid from his face with his forearm then got up. It was nice not having his mother crack a whip at him every second. As if on cue, Ino and Temari pounced on Shikamaru, one putting him in a headlock the other restraining his legs.

"What... do you think you are doing Shikamaru-Kun?" Temari asked with a dry voice.

"Err... breakfast?" He asked politely, trying to put on an innocent smile. It never worked with his mother; it sure as hell isn't working with these two. The two continue to scream and point fingers at him like he was the criminal of the year.

It was as if that image in his mind a couple of days ago had come true. He had become his father, completely whipped. He could hear the harsh snap of leather in the back of his mind. "I am so pathetic..." Shikamaru muttered under his breath.

The comment was almost immediately replied with a "What was that Shikamaru? Speak LOUDER!" On the last word, both girls bonked the lazy ninja on the head with their fists.

"Nothing!" Shikamaru whined. "Alright... let's get this horrific excuse of a day over with..." He started for the door. "I don't care who's with me...Just... come before I lost my sanity." Shikamaru sighed. 'Though getting married probably means losing your sanity anyway.' Shikamaru smiled at his comment and waited for Temari to grab him by the arm and swoop him off to a day of interesting activities whereas the majority of it he will hate.

With nearly half the day gone, Shikamaru cracked a crooked smile. The day didn't go as bad as he had predicted, but still not something to brag about. Temari had a weird day, just going to the spa and hanging out. Of course when she got "scoped" by Jiraiya, she blew her top and spent a good hour trying to track down the perverted sannin.

Shikamaru was now sitting at a traditional tea house, sipping tea and eating sweets with Temari. They were enjoying some nice conversation, usually the weirdest events of each other's lives or the misfortune of their friends and family.

"Really? Wow, Kankurou must be the clumsiest guy I've ever heard of!" Shikamaru laughed slapping at his knee.

"Yea, well Naruto ain't exactly the sharpest kunai in the pouch!" Temari chuckled, trying to control herself by sipping up some tea.

Cracking another crooked grin, Shikamaru got up and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Come on, we should get home..." The ninja stepped out of the seat and helped Temari back into her sandals.

"Well... Tomorrow is when I hand you off to that stupid blonde girl until the Winter Festival..." Temari sighed, putting her hands on the back of her head.

"You're starting to act like me you know?" Shikamaru said, mirroring her actions.

"Hanging out with you for so long does that to a person."

"Yea, yea..." Shikamaru continued to step and his appearance might've looked lazy but he was on full alert. Temari had her ways to... 'Surprise' the lazy ass Jouuin.

"Oh Shikamaru?" Temari asked in an innocent voice. Shikamaru ignored her and stopped. "Kuuunn..." She dragged out the word, much to the Shadow-User's chagrin. He turned around.

"What?" He whined. Temari pointed to a kitty nearby. "Can I just see it for a second? It might be hurt." Shikamaru raised an eye in suspicion. Something was wrong here... but he was going to humor her.

"Sure..." Shikamaru replied. He walked up to the strange black cat with Temari. He knelt down and tried to sense it's chakra and life force... but felt none. "What the?" He cried and stepped backwards. It was too late though; it was a simple Genjutsu, very subtle one. Temari must've used it when he ignored her. She was good, predicting what his usual lazy attitude would do and acting appropriately. Shikamaru put a mental note in the back of his head. 'Temari knows my attitude, she'll use it against me.'

Temari wasn't cramming her tongue down the ninja's throat. She knew that would cause him to back off too quickly. He needed to make his "other" brain to activate and take over. She did her magic, it was something all female ninja were taught: Seduction. It was vital to any undercover or infiltration mission.

Shikamaru was focusing; the Genjutsu was more powerful than he thought. It was double-layered, one about the cat, and the other one to keep his vision from focusing and his mind to think straight. To someone like Shikamaru though, all it did was delay the inevitable.

"Temari..." Shikamaru started his sentence but drifted away. His mind was wandering into some happy place. Genjutsu again? No, she won't do something so obvious... and this felt waaaaay too real. It was actually... it felt good, really good!

"Temari..." Shikamaru tried to start again but his focus blurred again.

Temari grinned; her hands were doing quick and efficient work. Shikamaru was as good as hers. Of course there never WERE any rules to this game. Ino and Temari had just told the lazy ninja to keep him secure and not wearing pants with a padlock and combination lock.

Ino was Shikamaru's only hope of getting out of this without waking up with a certain Sand-Nin next to him, and not normally, not with clothes, something more adult. Something... sexual.

Shikamaru's mind refused to focus; it was the most aggravating thing ever. He was renowned for being calm and focused even in the tightest situation. But his hormones were practically beating his brain's control with a two by four, effectively taking over. It didn't matter anymore, his hormones were taking over and his brain, his common sense, and his whole being didn't matter except for his hormones!

Ohhhh what will happen? Will Ino get to them in time? Well you guys will know, in a week or so. I can't write enough to update once every two days. Well, Ja Ne!