Title: Piecing us back together...

Author: JAGfreak aka Ashlee

Rating: G or K

Disclaimer: I don't own it and I don't want to! DPB has already screwed everything up.

A/N: Well, I know lots of people have taken a stab at writing an alternate ending to Friday's episode..and I thought I'd take one as well. Mine is a bit different however than the rest...this might have actually happened if DPB had removed the stick from his butt. It's not all sappy and the perfect ending...b/c nothing with Harm and Mac is that simple.. things are complicated, granted they make it that way...but anyhow, please review and tell me what you think.

oh yeah, Mac's POV...


St Vincent Hospital

"Don't.." his words echoed in my thoughts and bounced around my head, ricocheting back into my line of thought. It had been 20 minutes, 24 seconds...and still it stung like the words had just been given life. I cursed myself silently for being so affected...for ALLOWING myself to be so upset and hurt.

I hadn't left...not yet atleast. Something kept me there..pulled me like an invisible magnetic force, denying me my escape. I had walked away, gotten into the elevator, and rode quietly down to the main floor and lobby of the hospital. I had my keys in hand, and was headed for the door...when I couldn't bring myself to leave.

So here I am...sitting in a chair, watching as people come in and go out, and oh how I envy those people...they are able to leave...but I cannot...why? Out of some sense of loyalty to a friendship that in all honesty, barely exists? I clutch the keys in my hands a bit tighter..telling myself that any second now I will find the strength to leave.

'You must have lost your mind, Mackenzie.' I tell myself..because if I was in my right mind I would of left by now...sanity has fled from me...and I so desperately want it back..need it back. I need to leave this place. But, still...I cannot move.

I stare down at the keys in my hand, toying with them, fidgeting nervously. I know that if I keep thinking of the way he reacted when I touched him I would surely start crying. 'he didn't want you to touch him...' an inner voice taunts me, and I don't have the strength to argue.

I let my thoughts wander and begin to try to pinpoint where we went wrong. There was a time when I believed we'd always be close...we'd always be that dynamic duo...inseparable and invincible. A sad smile graces my lips, there was a time when we were all those things..but that time had passed...long since passed if I was honest with myself.

Things had changed...we had changed. But that doesn't mean that our friendship couldn't have changed with it...we just let it slip..but ..God help me, I still think we can get it back...piece it back together again. Maybe that's why I was here...to start repairing what we had let break...a little at a time...piece by piece. But that couldn't be done if every time one person fixed a piece, the other would break it again. That's what we had been doing for so long...and it was MORE than time for that to stop.

I had drove over four hours to be with him...to support him, I didn't believe the superman mask he tried to wear as being the true Harmon Rabb, Jr. He had weaknesses...he was human. Mattie is like a daughter to him...she taught him so much about love, about life. Harm is a different person for having known her, the kind of man who would want me even if I couldn't have his children. Who wouldn't love me any less because I couldn't...

Idon't know what Harm wants out of this relationship...friendship...if it can even be called one of those things the way things have been. I can't tell what he is thinking...but I know he is pushing me away...but forget relationship for a moment, he is my friend...and though he won't believe me, I still consider him my best friend. No man, heck..NO ONE..has ever been there for me more than Harm has... he has understood me more...has loved me more despite all the faults he has come to know about me.

I stare off into space...and I make my choice. I'm going back up there...not because of anything having to do with an "us"...not because of a sense of loyalty to a friendship I once HAD...but for the friendship we DO have, however tentative...that can only get stronger if we both stop trying to pretend we don't need eachother...and we both start being honest. I won't let him be alone tonight...I am his friend, Sarah Mackenzie, and that's what friends do..I don't care if he doesn't want me here...because damn it, I'm staying.

I get up, grab my coat and head for the elevator...preparing myself for whatever reaction that comes my way.


ICU

Harm's POV

I hear footsteps coming down the hall, headed my way.. but I don't look up. I still have my head buried in my hand. I hear someone sit quietly down beside me, and Mac's perfume invades my senses...

'what is she doing here?' I think angrily. I thought I had made myself pretty clear.

I look up and she is looking straight ahead, arms folded across her chest...a determined look in her eye.

"Mac..what are yo.." I start, but she interrupts.

"I'm staying Harm..." she turns to look at me...a sad look on her face, her eyes lock onto mine as she says softly "I'm staying..."

THE END

Please Review, rant about DPB, the show, whatever..lol. I'll take it all.