Another Chance?
By Cedar1
Disclaimer: Santa has yet to deliver, cos I still own nothing apart from a plot, but give me a few more weeks and you never know?
A/N to make things easier the past is in italics and the present in normal text- yes have finally figured out the whole web page saving thing after several months and chapters. No wonder my friends call me dozy numnut!
Chapter 7: A Blending of Memories and Reality (Part II)
Previously~~~~~~~~~~~*
"Hermione I need you to get up," he whispered, hoping she could hear
him. To his surprise her body unfurled itself ever so slightly. He looked up at
her face expectantly, praying she had regained consciousness. He watched as the
lids of her eyes relaxed, and the gradual rise of her lips into a shy smile.
" I love waking up next to you," she uttered. Next to her Draco
froze, completely floored by her comment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
****************start flashback
" Hermione I need you to get up."
In her haziness of sleep she could vaguely feel the light touch of fingers grazing against her skin. She turned slightly pushing herself against him, revelling in the way the coolness of his skin produced shivers up her body.
"I love waking up with you."
He didn't answer but in her minds eye she could almost envisage the smirk that was tilting his lips. She turned round to face him; the sheets tightening further round her naked flesh. She was right. He was sitting up, his back pressed against the headboard, his upper half exposed to the warmth in the room that the two of them had exuded during the night. Silver eyes looked down upon her. She could practically feel herself melting under the gaze. If eyes could smirk she was sure that his were doing just that, amused at the reaction a single look from him could produce, and from a stubborn Gryffindor no less. She crooked her neck so her face was buried somewhere near his hip, ashamed of the weakness he created in her.
The smell of his soap surrounded her. She had grown familiar to the sweet scent, often thinking how unlike him it was. Sweetness was definitely not a word that she associated with Draco Malfoy. Sharp, addictive, at times bitter but more often then not quickly dissolving.
As if reading her thoughts she felt the body next to her move as he lifted the sheets of his body and climbed out off the bed. She watched as he moved around her room, picking up his clothes that she had cautiously removed the night before. Modesty meant her eyes never strayed below his neck, despite the fact that his naked form was frequently pressed up against her so tight that not even air could get between them. Instead she focussed on his face, a picture of indifference bordered by a frame of long, fine strands of platinum. No one would ever have guessed that he had indulged himself in the ritual of pleasure that had been set up in the last months only hours ago. A feeling of emptiness creeping through her Hermione couldn't resist herself.
" Why do you have to go? Can't you stay?"
He looked at her, his eyes narrowing at the request.
Hermione already felt stupid. " I know. I know," she sighed in exasperation. " But I'm only asking for another hour. It's Saturday." It was useless; he was already approaching the door.
"What am I to you?" she whispered to herself. He always left her each time, never giving her more time with him than normal. Was she nothing but a plaything to him? Outside closed doors and darkened corridors he didn't look at her or heaven forbid touch her. To everyone their relationship was the same as it had always been; one of silent hatred. At first she had understood the need for secrecy and had been as cautious as he was, ears ever pricked for the sound of approaching individuals. Now…now she wanted more. She wanted to be able to walk by him in corridors without shocked looks, without whispers behind their backs. She wanted a proper relationship. However he was less then reluctant to push that one step further, but then maybe he didn't want to.
She looked up towards the door expecting to be greeting with the sight of her small study, any evidence of his stay gone. But she was surprised to see him still standing there. His hand frozen on the doorknob. He had heard.
"We can't be anything more then we are Hermione," he spoke, confirming her worst fears. He didn't want more.
Despite her best efforts a film of tears began to coat her eyes, blurring her vision. He was disappearing in front of her. Hastily she rubbed her eyes not wanting to lose sight of him. Tears wiped onto her face she looked back up. But he was already gone.
*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*end flashback
His fingers had been rendered immobile by her words, his mind numb from the sentiments. It wasn't that he had never heard her gentle voice say that, on contrary he had heard it so often; it was just that he hadn't heard it for so long. His legs gave way under him, and he collapsed onto the floor. Leaning back against the stonewall he gained the support he required. He stared back at the woman curled up at his feet; tears were now flowing freely down her face. He had reduced her to that so many times he had lost count. Give or take twelve years ago the idea of her crying would have had feelings of joy bursting every cell in his body. Tired by her side he realised how much things could change.
After that detention they shared cleaning broomsticks his attentions to her went beyond the realms of just staring. He had begun sabotaging her experiments, watching from dark corners of the dungeon as her cauldron began to overflow with a potion, which was far from the appropriate colour, the bubbles popping angrily threatening to explode at any moment. By the side would be Hermione her eyebrows knitted with confusion, her eyes darting to her notes desperate to see where she had gone wrong. Of course Snape would be gleefully telling the rest of the class what she had done wrong to cause yet another disaster, and would place her on detention to redo the potion. And there he was in the corner, it seemed so petty now, but then it had been a huge victory against Potter and his friends. The same thing happened each lesson; he was getting more inventive with the ways he ruined her work, never getting caught. But as the days went past he grew increasingly aware of her accusing gaze in his direction after each failure. She didn't say anything, not to Snape – why would he believe her- or her friends. He realised it was pride, the need for her to solve the problem by herself- well Draco had no complaints, let her do what she wanted.
Well he had the work part of her life, the next target were her friends. And so the damaging rumours started, whispered from ear to ear, from house to house and who would be at the beginning of the chain but him. Topics ranged from her uncomfortable feelings to Ron's ever-growing affections, Ginny's inability to get her own friends and the list went on. Of course she would explain to her friends they were all lies and needless to say they believed her, yet there was still that phase where she was left alone, her friends giving excuses to not be with her. It was during this time that she would hibernate in the library away from prying eyes, but it was also the time that he would visit her, gloating on his deeds.
But then one day, everything changed….
*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*Start Flashback
A seventeen-year-old Draco sauntered down the corridor, the tune of ' Weasley is our king' being hummed from his lips, which were actually curled to give a smile. Smug though it may be it was still a smile, and it caused those he passed to furrow their brows in confusion. Draco Malfoy smiling. They hadn't seen that since fifth year. No doubt he had been torturing some poor soul. And as he commenced onto the library he reflected on how right they were. His boots clicked as they connected with the floor, providing a rhythm for the words that were whirling around his head again and again like a merry-go-round.
" Did you hear the mudblood's been suspended from her Head-Girl duties," Pansy Parkinson had declared at dinner, her cheeks flushed with excitement. That had been the exact moment that Draco Malfoy had expressed a genuine smile of pleasure in two years.
Making his way down the aisles of dusty bookshelves his smile only became bigger. Now for the best bit; rubbing her nose in it, letting her know he was the cause of all the misery she was feeling. Unfortunately it wouldn't last long Dumbledore would no doubt find some inexplicable reason to drop Snape's accusation, the smile faltered. But as he rounded the corner and saw her petite figure hunched over the table it was back to its full glory. However on the other hand might as well enjoy the situation while it lasts.
Sensing his presence she looked up. And he noted with satisfaction that her brown eyes were now an ugly red. She looked back down again.
" What? No angry words. No ' Malfoy you bastard'." He walked towards her, settling himself on the chair next to her. A curtain of busy hair- she had forgotten to brush it again- was blocking his view, but he could see her body shaking. He moved the mess away with one sweep of his hand. Beautiful; down to the chapped lips from anxious biting and the raw red eyes. In his mind Draco couldn't help but give himself a self-congratulately pat on the back.
" How did you do it?" she whispered, her eyes never leaving the pages of the book laid down in front of her.
Draco leaned back on the chair, lifting it off the ground; his fingers drawing lazy patterns on her back. He always enjoyed the way she instantly stiffened every time he touched her.
" That would be telling. And where's the fun in that?" In truth it had been difficult to alter her answers to his after they handed the papers in. But he had and Snape had predictably concluded that she had copied off his star pupil and in a fit of anger had stormed into Dumbledore's office demanding she be stripped of her title. He of course merely suspended her……
" You know Dumbledore knows I would never do that. You know I'll get re-instated."
She flinched slightly when he brought his chair crashing back to the floor, the thud vibrating through the empty aisles. He moved himself closer to her, his face nearing hers, his lips centimetres from her ear. " You might be right. But it doesn't matter, now you know that I can do more to you then spread rumours and tamper experiments. I'm going to bring you down step…" He closed in further, "…by step, by step."
He lingered by her ear, making sure she understood all that he had said. Satisfied that she indeed had, he was just about to pull back when she surprised him. She turned round abruptly, the gap between them now being too close for comfort. They were face to face. So close he could feel the warm breath escaping from her lips graze against his own. Sad eyes had given way to burning brown ones, and remained hard against his own stare. They stayed like that, unblinking, neither wanting to give in. Until a bang from the other side of the library distracted Hermione and she reactively jerked forwards. However her reflex movement propelled her lips onto his. Her eyes widened with shock, as had his. Wasn't he or hell wasn't she meant to be pulling away somewhere about now? But neither had. They maintained their connection, tasting each other; her sweetness and his bitterness assimilating to give a lethal combination that no one wanted to separate themselves from.
His blood began to buzz with the flavour of her and despite his better judgement he felt himself craving more. He pushed onto her harder, and began to move along her lips, exploring the dips and curves it presented. She didn't resist, responding tentatively to his actions. Brushing his tongue against her lip, the sudden wet caress caused her to part her lips in astonishment. Seeing his chance he entered, the desire to see if she was as sweet everywhere taking over him, driving him to move forth and discover everything she had to offer. And she didn't disappoint. Several minutes crept by, it wasn't until the need for air was becoming a necessity did the two split. Breaths came out of bruised lips as heavy gasps.
"I still hate you," he murmured, she nodded in agreement.
**************
And they continued hating each other after curfew in abandoned classrooms, on Saturdays in an empty library and in broom cupboards of silent corridors. Every night he returned back to his room determined to stop. She was still a mudblood, still his father's murderer but she was also still the drug that ran through his veins, the drug that got his body crying for more. He stopped looking in mirrors after their trysts, disgusted with his image of swollen lips, flushed cheeks, tousled hair and crumpled robes. Once they had descended down the pathway of sharing the same bed he would always leave early, heading straight to the bathroom, scrubbing his skin raw until any remnants of her had pooled down at his feet and had swirled down the plug hole.
But each time they kissed, their fingers tangling in hair, their hands exploring one another the emotion of hate decreased that one notch further. And as the months passed his cleansing routine had deteriorated into nothingness. Instead he would spend longer and longer pressed against her under wrinkled sheets, heating himself with the warmth she seemed to be forever radiating from her small body. They would face each other, his fingers caressing her beautiful lips, the moonlight followed by the first rays of the sun shining upon them. This was enough for him. Those moments of being with each other, forgetting who they were and all the reasons why this shouldn't be happening. But then she had begun trying to push it, yearning for more then he was willing to give. There was no way he could go public with this. He would be shunned; out- casted from all the slytherins, all respected society and god only knew what his mother would say. There was only one path laid down for his future and that was the same one walked by his father. And he wasn't scared or doubtful of the possibility; on the contrary it was the only certainty in his life. Hermione Granger was just a bump in the road, something he could enjoy for now but not something he could keep for the rest of his life. He wasn't naïve enough to believe a happy ending with her lay in the cards. And so he had meant what he said when he told her that they could not be more then they were.
However at the same time when he saw her eyes glisten with tears he instantly wanted to take it back and tell her he was lying. It was this fact that had scared him, that had caused him to hastily run out of her room into the hallway. The fact that triggered his heart to beat faster and faster all the way to his dorm. The sight that had led him to throw his fellow peers out of the room and toss random items from one end to another, anything to get rid off the feelings of confusion that were flooding him. He had been so sure of the situation, that what he felt for her was nothing more then a couple of centimetres deep; and not something that could reach within him and pull on the muscles of his heart so much so that he felt that it would be torn to shreds. During the following days he dismissed her, although this was normal during school hours he kept the act going through out the night. It was in those hours that images of her lying in her bed waiting for him kept him awake, just like she was.
He thought that if he could get through this stage he would be cured of her, but it didn't work like that. Instead he found himself thinking of her, the taste of her, her voice, and her eyes; in lessons, at the dining table, in the library, in bed. There was no escape, and the resistance soon crumbled. They were sitting down at a prefects meeting; Potter and Hermione placed at the head table in their respective Head boy, Head girl positions. Draco had sat by her side – though not by choice, as he had arrived late and it had been the only seat remaining. As if to make clear his distain, to both her and the rest he had made a show of shifting the chair a couple of inches away from her own. Yet throughout the meeting his eyes were being drawn to the figure by his side as if by invisible strings, in particular her hands, which were clasped together, resting on her lap. Without hesitation he had slowly moved his hand under the table, through the space that separated them. She had realised what he was up to and he could almost hear the noise made by her breath trapping in her throat as she waited to see what he would end up doing. For what seemed like eternity his hand finally reached both of hers, landing lightly on them. She moved her fingers so they were now interlaced with his. No extra pressure was applied; they just remained there, hidden, entwined in one another. A small smile was gracing her lips she knew like he did, she did mean something to him and maybe he wasn't prepared to come out into the public for the moment, or maybe forever. But she meant something to him and for now that would do.
End Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N did the story flow alrite? Is it really predictable? Am a bit scared that it is turning a bit clichéd? Argh!! Please review if u've read this, and tell me what u think. So many questions…. As always send me anything whether its horrible or lovely, get very excited when it says my inbox has received something instead of ' 0 messages' – v. depressing!! So go on put a smile on my face…
Oh and if I don't update before xmas hope u all have a gud one and a happy new year!!
Luv Cedar1
Ps: Big hugs and sparkly stars to those who reviewed last time;
Mesmer: please don't shout at me I know its rather short, again, but it seemed like a good place to end. I promise the next chapter will be longer. But it was a quickish update, does that make up for the lack of words?! * crossing fingers *
Thalion1: yay! Found sumbody else who does weird clapping thing when happy! My friends always take the piss out of me 4 doin it!! All I can say is ha to them!
Mina –Chan2: Will do!!
Catherine: more old times 2 cum, am havin a bit of fun tryin to figure out ways 4 them to part….hmmmm. but glad ure enjoyin it and promise not 2 back out, am actually determined to finish it and kind of have an ending in mind, but my lips r sealed on that one! * laughs evily*
Serpent du Feu : hope u're question has been answered!
Thaurtiliel : new reviewer!!Yay! Please keep reviewing!
