Title: For Estel
Author: Ice Cube
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Not unless you've know almost nothing about Lord of the Rings.
Disclaimer and warnings, see Chapter 1…
IwishChan: Poor Estel indeed…sorry the update took so long, Spring Break meant no laptop…
HarryEstel: Glad you liked the intensity, hope you have some nails left for this chapter…a little bit slower, but no less…well…
Cexya: It's great to hear that you can see what I'm writing, and I'm glad you liked Elrond's character last chapter…
Indareun: Yay, a new reviewer! Estel's physical pain is pretty much done with, but as for pain in general…
Viresse: There's a little more Twins in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy…
Yahoo! Reviewers:
Celebwen: Evil? -looks around- Where? Me? Never! Lol…hope you enjoy…Vi: "Paging Dr. Carter. Small part Elven boy needs assistance"…somehow I can't see that coming over the PA at County General…here's the next chapter for you…
Mari: I know how much RL can get in the way of trying to read stories, Junior year in college has taken care of that for me…I think I've seen brain surgery in stories before, but then again it might not have been an LotR story so…
Gwenneth: I don't go into what happens with Estel having gone to Imladris alone in this fic, but maybe there's a plotbunny hiding under my desk for that in the future…sorry you had to wait an extra week after I told you I'd post last week…enjoy
Misty: Smooth? Things should go smoothly for them now? Oh. Sorry, I don't think I got the memo…I'm not sure they're all going to survive yet, so I'm glad someone is…and I kind of jumped over what Estel would have to deal with, but maybe I can make that into a vignette or something later…
Lorwen: Hmm…maybe it was your story that I read about brain surgery in…I dunno…glad you liked the chapter and I'm glad you like what I write…here's chapter 5…
Denise: At least in this story, Estel doesn't have to deal with remembering what happened, but maybe in the future he will…
Aranel: Yes, Thranduil sent out guards and healers after Legolas…after all, he was going to meet the twins in a fury, so he probably wouldn't be careful at all…glad you liked the Glorfindel scene, and I'd like to know what would have happened if he had decided Legolas was too rude too…Glad you liked the part with Elrond too, and what do you mean you're breathing easier because they're all fine? … I didn't say that, there's still 2.5 chapters left…
Carol: Glad you liked the chapter and the detail…thanks…
Rhonda: Here's more, and we're coming to the end now…guess I'll have to make a decision sooner or later then…
Maddie: Another new reviewer! Yay! Glad you liked the worms and the battle scenes, I just write what I see, it's the easiest way to do it…Legolas wasn't really thinking too clearly when he did that, he was worried and didn't have any real ties to the boy yet…remember that most write the Mirkwood Elves as not liking humans anyway…Wow, I made someone cry, I'm impressed, thank you…hope you enjoy this chapter…
Anna: Thank you…here's the next chapter…
That said, on with the tale...
Chapter 5
To an unsuspecting onlooker, the scene in the Healing Halls was one of indifference and sloth. It was late in the day, and Lord Elrond was leaning against Elladan and Elrohir's bed, Glorfindel was sitting crossways on an easy chair, and Legolas was sitting with his face buried in Estel's bed, fingers still being crushed by the small boy. Elrohir was sitting with his twin's hand clutched in his own, but all four Elves were dreaming.
Erestor had been by earlier to cover the Elves in blankets and stoke the fire that burned to keep the injured warm, but now he too was dozing in a corner, not willing to leave his Masters' sides in case any of them needed anything. Tears were still in his eyes, even in sleep, at the sight of his Lord's sons, but he knew that they had received the best care and now only time would tell who the Valar would claim.
Elrohir woke slowly and painfully. White bandages covered most of his bare chest, and he found that moving was a decidedly bad idea. Sitting against the headboard while resting, he decided was just as bad an idea, but he would not move and disturb his family. It was to no avail, however, as his father awoke and rose from the ground, almost startling his son.
"Shh, ion nin. How do you fare?"
It was no use to bother trying to brush it off. "I hurt, Ada; but I'm sure that I will live." Elrond smiled, and nodded.
"You can lie down and not disturb him. He won't wake for some time, I'm afraid." Elrohir nodded and lay down with his father's help. The movement woke both Erestor and Glorfindel, who moved automatically to get more bandages and cleaning salve for Elrohir. The younger twin grimaced.
Legolas woke some time later, and tried to shift his fingers. He looked down on the boy whom he had talked away from death's door long into the night. Estel looked so small and fragile amongst the covers of the bed that he had been moved to, and while Legolas had not understood before this event how the Lords of Imladris could take in a human and call him one of their own, he was beginning to see how the child had won their hearts.
Elrond came over and relieved Legolas of the small fingers. "Hannon lle, mellon nin. Enni sinta n'sut diolo lle faarea."
"Pan namae, brannon Elrond." Legolas nodded as he stood to stretch his legs. Wandering over to the balcony, he breathed in the fresh air and looked down upon the courtyard. "Your realm's beauty never ceases to amaze me, milord. It's been so long since Mirkwood looked anything like this."
Elrond knew not to say anything, and simply stopped to remember Greenwood as it once was. "Go down to the kitchens and get something to eat, young Prince. You need some time to yourself I think."
"Will it do any good to argue with you?"
"No. Now go, take a walk, get some air, rest in a comfortable bed, write a letter to your father, I don't care what you do as long as you relax a little. I can see the guilt that is already etching itself on your face, and it will only get worse if you sit here cooped up and staring at my sons."
"Yes, milord." The tone was light as Legolas headed out of the Healing Halls. Elrond barely heard the next words, and could only shake his head. "A hunt sounds good right about now." And so it was that Legolas occupied himself.
Elrond found himself sitting next to his youngest, stroking the boy's fingers and staring at the bandages that were now only wrapping the boy's brow. Moments before he had removed the shunt as the sun reached the highest point in its path, and now he was waiting to see what would happen. It was still likely that the boy might pass from the land of the living, but Elrond would not give up hoping upon Hope.
Time seemed to speed by, and the sun was just setting when Elrond felt Estel's fingers tighten. "That's it, tithen pen, open your eyes now. Ada's here."
Just when it seemed that nothing would come of it, and Elrond had almost looked away, tears welling up once more, Estel's silver eyes caught his father's gaze. Estel smiled before shutting his eyes tight against the pain that had caught up to him. There was no fear in the small human's eyes. It would seem that the recent events held no pull on Estel's memories, and there would be no ill effects from that at least.
With tears of joy in his eyes, Elrond reached for the tea that Erestor had already poured, and held it out to his youngest. Laughing at the withering glare that the twins must have taught him, the Lord simply looked at Estel before the boy opened his mouth. Elrond tilted his son's head carefully, and within minutes, the young human fell into a light healing sleep.
"Erestor, I wonder if you might find Belur for him. I did not see him with it when he returned, and the bear might be lost, but if you could…"
"Glorfindel returned with Belur strapped to his saddle, milord, and the bear has already been washed. It is sitting on Estel's bed; I will go and fetch it for him."
Erestor returned moments later with the treasured animal, and placed it securely under the plaster that encased Estel's arm. Even in his drugged state, Estel seemed to relax when he felt his bear, and pulled it closer to his chest.
"Please, Elrohir, I don't care if you leave for long enough to walk to your room and change clothing, but you haven't seen the outside of these Halls in days."
"I have to be here, Ada, what if one of them wakes up?"
"Then you will be right back. The longer you argue with me, the more likely it is that you will miss them waking. Estel should sleep for another hour or so, and Elladan, well, we don't know about that yet. Please go?"
"All right, Ada, if it will make you happy."
Elrohir walked to his room, changed, and was on his way back when he spotted Elladan's rabbit. It sparked memories of the day they left for Mirkwood, and he sat back down in a chair, clutching the toy. He did not know how long he sat there before returning to the Halls.
As it turned out, it was just in time; for no sooner had he put the rabbit down near his twin did Estel waken once more. Elrohir rushed to his side.
"Estel! How do you feel?"
The boy shrugged, bit his lip, and tried to sit up. Elrond eased him up, placed pillows behind his back, and stepped back. Estel threw his arms out for a hug from his brother, and Elrond gulped. He still did not know what Estel would remember, even if the previous smile had placated the lord for a moment, he was truly afraid that the boy would hate him, or worse, fear him.
His found that his fears had no basis as soon as Estel turned to him, smiled, and silently asked for a hug. Elrond was only too happy to oblige. "How are you, tithen pen?"
Again the boy shrugged.
"Aren't you going to answer us, gwador nin? We've been worried about you."
Estel didn't say anything, only turned to search out Elladan. He paled when he saw his brother still unconscious, but still did not say a word.
"Don't push him, Elrohir. He may not be able to speak." Tears were once more in Elrond's eyes, but he would not let them fall, else he might frighten either of his sons further.
Elrohir sat next to his twin's bed, cradling Estel in his arms as the boy slept. There were tears in his eyes at both his brothers' appearance, and he was more than worried for both of them as well. Estel had not said a word since he had woken, and Elladan was still unconscious, with his dark lashes and pale eyelids masking his eyes. Elrohir had just dozed off when he felt his twin's hand move just slightly. He roused Estel, and they both watched anxiously as Elladan struggled back to consciousness.
Elrohir inhaled sharply when his twin's eyes focused on him, and tears sprang to the surface, quickly blinked away. He knew that look, he had seen it once before, and knew now that it was only a matter of time before Elladan broke his father's and Estel's hearts. There was no question in Elrohir's mind about his stance; he would follow his brother anywhere.
Estel smiled at Elladan, and struggled to get out of Elrohir's grasp, but the younger twin worried that the boy might hurt his twin mistakenly and held fast.
"Estel, can you go get Ada and bring him here?"
The boy nodded, eager for the chance to leave the Halls, and bolted for the door.
Standing outside the Hall of Fire, Estel stalled before opening the door. He was afraid that his father wouldn't understand that Elrohir had sent him out of the Halls. With new resolve, however, Estel pulled open the door and raced in on a meeting with several human delegates.
"What is the meaning of this, Lord Elrond?" The words grated on Estel's ears as he passed the Men, and he ignored them. He understood very little of the Common Tongue, and it wasn't important to him now. He grabbed Elrond's robes and pulled as hard he could.
"What, Estel? Do you need me to follow you?" Elrond was careful not to try and force the boy to talk. Estel nodded and pulled harder. "Are we going to the Healing Halls?" Again, a nod. "Is your brother awake?" Estel grinned and jumped up and down, stopping quickly when it sent shooting pains through his skull. Elrond picked him up and cradled him close.
He turned to the Men in his presence. "You must excuse me, I must see to my son. Glorfindel can field any more of your questions." The Men nodded, and Elrond brought Estel back to the Halls.
When he reached them, he found Elrohir sitting next to Elladan's bed, telling his brother everything that he had missed.
"Elrohir, please take Estel to his room to get changed while I examine your brother."
"Yes, Ada. Come on Estel; let's get out of these Halls, shall we?" The boy was passed from father to son, and the doors were shut once more.
It had only been a few days, but there was a marked improvement in Estel once the boy knew that Elladan was alive and would remain that way. He was sitting in the Healing Halls, restlessly picking at his cast when the eldest Elrondion approached him with Elrohir as a crutch. Not expecting a response, Elladan simply had his brother lower him next to the boy and gently pulled Estel's hand away from the plaster. "Don't do that tithen pen."
"Why not?"
Elladan looked up at the boy, overjoyed to hear him speak for the first time, and pulled him into a quick hug before ruffling his hair. "Because, little one, it will make Ada angry if you continue."
The eldest Elrondion pulled Estel into his lap gingerly, not wanting to aggravate either of their injuries, and looked at his twin. Knowing all too well what was coming, Elrohir bolted from the room, wanting to ignore reality.
Sighing, Elladan turned to the human in front of him. "Estel, do you remember Ada telling you about Valinor?"
"Yes, 'Dan, it's where Elves go when they can't stay here anymore. It's where your Nana went, and where you and 'Ro and Ada will go when I'm all grown up and have a family of my own to look after."
Elladan nodded, and bowed his head. "I know we told you it would be a long time from now, gwador nin, but I think," he paused. "I think that I need to go see Nana now."
"Don't you want to stay with me anymore?" Estel cried out, turning and hugging his brother tightly.
"Oh Estel, it's not that at all. Look at me, I can barely even sit up straight anymore for more than a few minutes, never mind run after you, or protect you, or even climb trees with you anymore. Arda is not as innocent as it once was, little one, and I don't expect you to understand right now, but I have to go. I need to, and I need for you to try and accept it and not be sad for me. I will be better off there."
"No," the boy whispered fiercely. "No, I will not. I won't accept it. Ever. You can't leave, I won't let you."
"Estel, please understand..."
"No, 'Dan. There's nothing to…" he couldn't finish his sentence, and instead rose and ran for the only source of comfort he could think of, his father.
The Men that Elrond had been meeting with were starting to wonder if the child who kept interrupting them was doing so purposefully as he interrupted their conversation once more.
"Ada, Ada, please, say it isn't so." Estel jumped into his father's lap and held fast, tears staining Elrond's robes quickly. Lord Elrond was too stunned at hearing his son's voice at first to register anything else, and it took him a minute to wrap his arms around the trembling form and another to comprehend the words.
"So he told you, then, tithen pen? Glorfindel, will you…"
"Of course, milord. Gentleman, if I may continue…"
In the safety of Elrond's chambers, he rocked the boy until the tears subsided. "I know, ion nin, I know it's hard. Shh, calm down tithen pen, it will be all right. Elladan will be happier with his mother now. He needs her right now. And he needs the peace that Valinor can give him. You remember learning about Valinor, don't you Estel?"
"Y-yes, Ada. Elves can find et-eter- what's the word?"
"Eternal."
"Etern-n-nal peace there. And Elladan's Nana can make him better because she's his Nana."
"Yes, Estel. And he will be happy there. Don't you want your brother to be happy?"
"Well yes, Ada, of course. But I could draw him pictures, and tell him stories. Wouldn't he be happy then?"
"Oh Estel. That would help, I'm sure, but he needs to do this. He needs his mother, and he needs no more worries. I don't want him to go either, tithen pen, but he has to." Elrond wondered how he was going to convince his son, when he couldn't convince himself of this.
"But Ada…but Ada doesn't that mean I won't ever get to see him again?"
"Yes, yes it does Estel, but even if you don't see him, he'll always be there for you."
"But I won't be able to see him."
"You can't see him right now, can you? And you know he's there for you, don't you."
"Well yes. But I still don't want him to go away forever, Ada." Estel broke into tears again, and put his head down on his father's chest. "My head hurts, Ada."
"I know, little one," Elrond stroked the boy's short hair absentmindedly, thinking of Elladan.
Estel had only just fallen asleep in his father's arms, having exhausted himself with his tears, when Elladan walked in, his eyes empty of the sparkle that had always been a part of him. Even Elrond barely recognized him. He started to plead with his son, but was cut off.
"Adar, please don't, please don't ask me to stay, I cannot remain where there is no happiness for me, I have to stick with my decision."
Elrond sighed. "I know, ion nin, but think of what you are doing. You promised Arathorn that you would look after Estel. You promised him, and I have never known you to break a promise. I will not ask you to stay, but who will look after him?"
"Elrohir will."
"You are so sure that your brother won't follow right behind you?"
"I have reminded him of that promise that he, too, made, and I made him promise to stay and watch over Estel. Someone has to teach him how to get into...I mean out of...trouble. He will stay."
"You would break both of your brothers' hearts? And mine?" Estel stirred in his father's arms. "I know you must sail then, when you are willing to give all that up. I know that you will be happier there, and I only pray that I will be able to join you when my tasks here are done."
Elrond walked out, leaving Elladan in his wake, and returned Estel to his room, making sure that the treasured bear was in his arms.
Moments later, the Lord returned to Elladan's side, pulling his oldest into his arms, not too proud, as the Lord of Imladris, to let his own tears stain the robes of his son. "I will miss you, ion nin."
"I will miss you too, Ada. But we will see each other again, in time."
Later on, Elladan slowly made his way back past the Healing Halls and stopped at a door to rest. He looked around his own room, knowing it would be one of the last times he would see it. The fire was blazing, warming the area around it, and the eldest Elrondion stumbled to his bed, eager to feel the warmth of his covers.
Elladan woke groggily, and felt a small bundle trembling at his side. From the size, he could tell that it was his baby brother, and it felt as though he had recently had another nightmare. "Estel?"
The boy sat up immediately. "Oh 'Dan, it was awful. I dreamt that you told me you were going to go away and never come back."
Elladan gulped. "Gwador nin, that wasn't a dream, I'm sorry."
Estel jumped from the bed, seething. "What do you mean?"
"I mean just that, tithen pen, I'm sorry, but I can't stay here anymore. I thought you understood."
"You promised you'd never leave me alone, Elladan," the Elf cringed as Estel used his full name, "you promised you wouldn't leave me like my father did. You said you would always be there."
"But I will be there..." he pointed to the boy's heart.
"It's not the same, Elladan. It's not the same and you know it." With that, Estel ran from the Healing Halls, catching the cast on his arm on one of the doorframes, but he did not stop running. The thoughts in his head were just as fast. Elladan was leaving him, leaving to sail over the sea to be with his mother. The boy couldn't believe it.
Hannon lle, mellon nin. Enni sinta n'sut diolo lle faarea – Thank you my friend, I don't know how to thank you enough.
Pan namae, brannon Elrond – all is well, Lord Elrond
