Too Far Gone


Previously:

"I loved Biggs with all my heart, he was the best, the only friend I had this past year, and we shared everything. EVERYTHING! There wasn't a waking moment we didn't spend together.

"But when he pulled the trigger, he became the enemy, Alec. You have to see that. He was going to kill you! He didn't know who you were. And he told me, earlier, he would do anything to stay out of Psy-Ops. So I shot him. There wasn't anything else I could do..." Max was full out sobbing now, and she slumped to the ground in defeat. Whatever happened next, it was out of her hands.


Epilogue

Max's POV

It's been a week since I last heard from Alec. He's been trying so hard to keep it together, to stay friends. And I appreciate it. If anything, he should hate me. But thank the Blue Lady he doesn't. I don't think I'd have the strength to keep going if he cut ties with me. He's the only link I have to my past.

The night I saved his life and killed Biggs, I lost everything I cared about. I lost my friends, my family. Nothing has ever hurt me as much as the look in their eyes when Alec set me free.

I'd stumbled over my feet, allowing myself a final glance at the place and people I'd called home. The disgust and hatred I saw there made me want to curl up and die.

I wonder if I'll ever see Alec again. I love him. Love makes you do strange things. Love made me kill my friend. How fucked up is that? Love is a lemon.

Deck always told us, 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' I hate lemonade, Deck! It's bitter and it bites, and it makes my skin crawl.

Deck? You wanted a soldier? Come and get me. There's nothing left but this travesty called life. Bring it on.


Alec's POV

"Hey buddy.

"It's been four months since that day. It still shocks me that an act born of love has brought so much pain.

"After hearing Max's explanation, I stalked out of the room without saying a word. I had such a hard time accepting the truth: That my best friend had really come back to Seattle to kill me. We 'd been the best of friends for so long; we were like brothers.

"It took a long time to convince the others to let Max go. No one could look at her. It was really bad, man.

"Joshua cried when she left. I felt so sorry for the Big Fella. Max was his family. Hell, she was mine. It hurt so bad leaving things the way we did. It still does.

"My life has been filled with pain and suffering. I'm not saying that because I want pity or sympathy. It's just a fact of life, born of Manticore. The place sucked the life out of us all before we knew how to talk. Manticore was our home, our prison, our reason for being. In this strange circle of life, I have to be honest. I wouldn't be here if not for Max. Admittedly, she wouldn't be here if not for Manticore, so in some fucked up way I have them to thank for my life.

"Max set me free. Set us all free physically, but she set me free emotionally. Helped me shed the hard, uncaring exterior to release the real me. She helped me see that life can be beautiful and full of joy. And it was Max who made me realize so much pain.

"I forgive her. I hate her. I love her. I have so many mixed up feelings towards her. And I need her so much its killing me to stay apart. But it's inconceivable to think she could stay here in Terminal City. They'd all run riot and she wouldn't stand a chance. It's why I made her leave.

"I call Max once a week to see how she's doing. I die a little every time I hear her voice. I'm still not sure if it's because of you or because of Max herself. But I know I miss her terribly.

"Maybe one day I'll go after her, take her in my arms and tell her how I feel. But until the ache lessens, I'm going to stick to the telephone. I won't throw away the only lifeline I have left. I only hope you don't think of that as a betrayal.

"Biggs, I'm standing at your grave, out here on the hill behind the Command Center. Cece planted flowers. I think she pulled a job at the Canadian Embassy to get them. We had a memorial service for you. You would have loved it. The guys were telling all your favorite jokes, singing all your favorite songs. Recounting happy memories from back in the day...Remember Khezmekistan? You always had a soft spot for Lola...

"I miss you, man. You're always in my thoughts. You're the best friend a guy could ever ask for. Now that you're gone, I've come to realize that life is too short to hold a grudge. So if you see my brother Ben up there, tell him I forgive him. Tell him I love him. And keep an eye out for us all down here, alright?

"I'm gonna go. But Biggs, buddy, one last thing . It's not my place but...try to forgive her, ok? It was an act born of love...for me."

Alec turned silently from the grave and made his way back down the hill. Time heals all wounds he thought. It was time to call Max. He missed her. Maybe he'd make the trip down to LA. Maybe...in time.

FIN