Title: For Estel
Author: Ice Cube
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Not unless you've know almost nothing about Lord of the Rings.
Disclaimer and warnings, see Chapter 1…
ADDITIONAL WARNING: I HEREBY AND FORTHWITH TELL YOU
THAT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY FIND A BOX OF TISSUES
BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER!
ALonelySoul: I'm sorry you don't like him anymore…
HarryEstel: I'm glad you thought it was intense, I hoped that that was how it would come across that way… -hands Kleenex- I'm not sure this chappie gets any better…
Sielge: I don't know, I guess you'll just have to wait and see if Elladan leaves Estel "alone"…
Cexya: Elladan is leaving because…well, I think I explain that in this chapter…if I don't, let me know and I will tell you…
IWishChan: -hands you Kleenex too- Yes, poor family, but that's what I'm good at writing, so they get to spend their days in turmoil…but hey, it's what makes the stories good…
Indareun: I'm glad you feel the pain that is in my story…if you can understand that…it means I'm getting across what I mean too…as for your story, I haven't had the chance to go look at it, but I will…
Grumpy: I'm sorry, Elladan can't come to talk right now, he's currently getting ready to travel…keep reading…
Yahoo! Reviewers:
Mari: An embolism is basically a blood clot, usually in the lungs…but a heart attack works too…I'm sorry you don't want Elladan to leave, I don't think anyone else does either…sorry…
Vi: -hands you Kleenex- Sorry, but I don't think this chapter gets much better…
Aranel: I'm glad you liked the descriptions of the Legolas scenes and the young Estel images…I'm sure I'd be pretty annoyed if I was in that meeting and didn't know who Estel was…there's only the epilogue after this, so the last chapter was included in the 2.5 status…6 and a + chapters…
Misty: Well, it is an AU story…I'm glad that my story moved you, and who knows, maybe I'll do a more in-depth vignette into Estel's not speaking some day…happy ending? Hmm…I dunno, I'm sure everything will be resolved in the end, but…never forget, there is always the epilogue…
Rhonda: Come on, you know me better than that…to say I could be so cruel to Estel…of course I can…lol
Denise: I know he's given his promise…makes it all the more tragic, doesn't it?
That said, on with the tale…
Chapter 6
He didn't know where he was going; planning on running until his legs would no longer carry him. He turned the corner and was stopped abruptly by an Elf's legs. Knocked to the ground, stopping himself with his hands, Estel cried out before righting himself, muttering an apology, and planning on continuing on his quest to nowhere. A hand on his shoulder stopped him, and started the tears. He looked up to Legolas, and started. He hadn't realized that the Prince was still in Imladris.
Remembering his manners, the boy wiped his tears away before bowing slightly to the Prince. "Greetings, Prince Legolas Thranduilion of Mirkwood, and mae govannen. I am Estel Elrondion of Imladris." His voice quavered, and Legolas smiled, returned the greeting, and stooped to the boy's level. Pulling the child into a strong hug and rubbing his back, Legolas let Estel soak his royal robes as the truth hit the 6 year-old full on. His brother was leaving in the morning.
Legolas did not know what was wrong with the boy, and simply allowed him to cry himself out. Amongst the tears, the Prince discerned that his best friend was leaving Middle Earth, and it tore at his heart. He had known somewhere deep inside him when he left that if Elrond was sending him away at least one of the Elrondions was in dire straits, and he had made his peace with this already.
When the boy was done crying, he looked up to the near stranger for advice. Legolas sighed and picked up Estel. "It will be all right, little one. I swear to you that it will."
Legolas shooed the boy back towards the sleeping quarters, where he made his way back to Elladan's room. He had had a long chat with the Mirkwood Prince, and his mind was made up. "'Dan?" he hesitated.
Elladan turned to him and smiled slightly for the boy's benefit. Estel plodded in and sat on the end of the bed.
"If you've made up your mind to leave, then I will be happy for you, and I won't cry anymore, and I'll be brave." He paused, and bit his lip. "But please, don't go."
Elrohir came in from the doorway then, seeing that a mere human boy could accept reality better than he could. "If you go, 'Dan, I will follow."
Elladan sent the boy out with Legolas again. "You can't, 'Ro, someone has to protect him. He is the hope of Mankind, and we both swore an oath to his father and mother. I can't uphold that promise, and it is breaking my heart more to leave him. You must promise me that you will stay and watch out for him no matter what. You have to keep him safe, 'Ro; keep him safe and teach him to be a survivor. But don't let him forget how to have a good time. Pranks are a must in any Elrondion's life, you know. He has to learn that life will be difficult, and I can't do that anymore. You cannot follow me this time, brother; your place is still here."
"So is yours."
"No, 'Ro, I can't stay. You know this as well as I, you knew it when I woke up, I know you did."
Elrohir and Elladan stayed up long into the night, each trying to convince the other of his reasoning. Neither twin could accept the other's argument, and neither was willing to let it be. But as the sun was beginning its daily path, Elladan began to tire, and Elrohir pulled him close and held him until he slept.
He was just about to drift off when Estel ran in. "I-I-I...'Ro, I had a nightmare again. Is he asleep?"
"Yes he is, tithen pen, but come here; you can sit with me if that will help."
Estel climbed up on the bed and looked hesitantly at Elladan and then Elrohir. "You're sure he's…"
"Yes, little one, he is asleep."
"No, I'm not, 'Ro. Go to your own bed, I'll take him from here."
"Maybe I should take care of him tonight, 'Dan, seeing as I'll be doing it from now on." The disdain could not be missed, and the hint of well controlled tears was all too evident as Elrohir plucked Estel off the bed and carried him to his own. "Come on, little one, and I'll tell you a story about a Hobbit."
Elladan sighed, tears in his eyes, and rolled over to face the wall. He knew what he was doing was right in the long run. He couldn't see beauty in his home anymore, couldn't hear the trees talking. He smiled slightly, remembering a conversation with Legolas about how the Noldor couldn't talk to the trees, but even that was bittersweet, and all Elladan could do was remember that the conversation had ended abruptly when wolves had attacked their campsite. Before he drifted off to sleep, a fleeting memory of his mother graced his mind, and he fell asleep thinking of being with her.
Meanwhile, Estel had listened to his story, and was curled up against Elrohir, fighting off tears as sleep claimed him. It would be much longer before Elrohir could fall asleep. The innocent laying next to him was now his responsibility, but he couldn't help wondering if Estel would spend the rest of his life comparing Elrohir to what Elladan would have done. All that the younger twin wanted to do was be with his brother. Elladan had spent their entire lives being the older sibling, protecting Elrohir and then Estel, and now he was leaving that responsibility behind.
Elrohir didn't know what to do. He had always been able to look to Elladan for comfort, for knowledge, for anything. He knew that Elladan would be happier in Valinor, and he would never try to stop his brother from being happy, but all he wanted was for his brother to be right there with him, watching his back like he had done for the past centuries. With one last glance over at Elladan, and another down at Estel, Elrohir fell asleep.
The next morning was the hardest to drag the youngest of the household from their beds. Both had come to the distinct conclusion that if they did not meet the day, than it wouldn't occur, and their brother would still be with them forever when they finally did rise. But such is life that regardless of the reason, Estel and Elrohir soon found themselves dressed and getting ready for the day's trip.
It was a somber procession that stopped momentarily in front of the Last Homely House to let Elladan gaze upon his home one last time. The beautiful archways and columns that he could picture in his memory at even the darkest hour as a ray of light were suddenly dark and lonely. This was no longer his home, he had convinced himself, and therefore had little meaning to him. Tears graced his eyes, however, as he couldn't keep the charade with himself up for long. He would never see Imladris again, but would be reunited with his mother and other friends who had already escaped the darkening Middle Earth. Nodding to his father in the lead, Elladan signaled that he was ready to leave.
Elrohir dropped his head at his brother's response, knowing that if the sight of his home could not change Elladan's mind then there was nothing else to do. He followed Elrond's horse, Estel sitting dejectedly in front of him, and headed out to the Great East Road towards the Grey Havens.
Estel was trembling slightly, tasting a slight iron tinge as he continued biting the inside of his lip. In his mind, the horse that had befriended him had also failed him, and was therefore an enemy. He held very little 'hatred' for the beasts, as very few six year olds know true hatred, and so his feelings came through in fear. Glorfindel's geography lessons were fresh in his mind, and he knew that Mithlond was too far to walk, but he would not ride alone, and so Elrohir had volunteered to carry the boy on his steed. Elladan was abandoning him, of that Estel was sure, but he had also rationalized that his oldest brother would not leave him unless the situation was dire. With that realization, Estel was sure that this was for the best, and would learn to deal with the loss in time.
Legolas, Glorfindel, and Elrond had all dealt with far too many of these trips in their lifetimes, and so remained stoic for the rest of their party. They led the family towards and through the Old Forest, and kept their emotions at bay as the time came nearer. Elrond spent the time reflecting on his son's birth, the many pranks that the boy had pulled with his twin, especially the ones that he had to mop up after. He remembered when his sons had discovered ink and dye, when they had learned of paint, and when Glorfindel had begun teaching them how to survive in the Wilds. With these memories, Elrond began to paint a picture of where Elladan and Elrohir's mischievous streaks had been borne from, and turned to glare at his advisor. Knowing that it was not worth it to make anything of the epiphany at the time, the Lord allowed his gaze to fall and remembered how often it was that the twins had attempted to switch places in lessons and at functions. The two always managed to convince themselves that even their parents were fooled, a feat that was never truly accomplished, and this brought a smile to the father's face.
Legolas, too, was caught in memories and guilt. Every time he glanced back to see his best friend for the last time, he remembered not getting to him quickly enough, not convincing Elladan to stay. He thought of Estel and how heartbroken the boy had been when the Prince had reminded him to think of his brother's happiness before his, and vowed to make it up to the boy. Early that morning, he had vowed to Elladan that he would take it upon himself to help Elrohir protect him, and had been told of Estel's heritage. The striking resemblance to Arathorn was not lost on the Prince, who had met the leader of the Rangers with Elladan himself, years before the young heir was born. Legolas was honored that the Lord and his sons felt him worthy enough of this secret, when it was not even known to the heir himself yet. He also knew that he could not hope for Mirkwood's help in protecting the boy if it ever came to that. Shaking his head at the xenophobia he own kin held, he took the lead as the group passed the Tower Hills.
Glorfindel had caught the glare that his Lord had afforded him, and wondered briefly about it as he gazed about the soon to be broken family. He knew there was nothing that could be done, and had the least problem of the travelers with this journey, but it was difficult nonetheless. He remembered taking the boys into the Wilds and passing on all of his tricks, giving the boys baths when his Lord and Lady were otherwise occupied, helping the boys to learn of the great Middle Earth and all its peoples, and of course, teaching the boys how to wield a sword and shoot arrows. A single, solitary, silver tear streaked down his left cheek as he fingered the scar on his arm from Elladan's first shot. Yes, this was a difficult journey indeed, it seemed.
"Si lye naa." Elrond brought them around the last bend to the harbor at the Grey Havens, and all looked to Elladan. To him, it was the most beautiful sight he had seen in a long time, with the water lapping lightly on the shores and the waiting boat. There were a few other Elves milling around, giving their last good-byes to their loved ones as they too planned on journeying to Valinor. Elladan could see that the stone staircase that led down to the dock was an easy feat for even the broken Elf to complete on his own. It would not be physical drain that would hamper his leaving, but the faces alone of his companions. He could see the broken hearts of his family displayed plainly on their faces.
Elrohir and Elrond's cheeks were already marred with silver paths. Estel's eyes were glassy, and the eldest Elrondion suspected from the red tinge on the left corner of the child's mouth that the tip of the human's tongue was quite sore. Legolas's eyes were also glassy, but were focused more on the ship that must look identical to the past ones that had claimed his friends and relatives. It was Glorfindel, then who made the first move; he dismounted and looked up at Elladan. The tear that had squeezed past his defenses was gone, but the sadness remained, and surprised the Elf.
"It is time, Elladan Elrondion. The ship will undoubtedly be leaving soon."
Elladan nodded, waited for everyone else to dismount, and then looked at Estel, admiring the boy's strength and making another decision. He swung off the horse's back and held the reins a moment longer. "Estel, tithen pen, come here for a moment."
Estel trembled once, and walked proudly over to his brother. The large beast that had safely carried him to Imladris now loomed over him, staring down at the boy, before nudging his shoulder. The horse was not used to the saddle that Elladan had been forced to use to keep himself mounted on the long journey, but also was familiar with the boy, whom it saw as another master.
Elladan knelt next to his brother, forcing the two to stare into each other's teary eyes. The reins looped over his shoulder as he allowed the horse its head. "Estel, Ada told me of what you did when we were hurt, how you helped to rescue us by riding for Glorfindel and Ada, how you fought a warg and still managed to make a very scary journey all the way back home. That took a lot of courage little one, and proved just how much a part of this family you are. Don't ever let anyone tell you any differently, tithen pen. You are my and Elrohir's brother. You are Ada's son, and the truest that an Elrondion could be. I don't want you to ever forget that you are always Estel Elrondion, no matter what happens or what people would say." Elladan paused to look at the rest of his family before returning to the boy. "To make sure that no one ever forgets that, muindor nin, I want you to take care of my horse for me from now on. You've already proven that you can ride him well, with a saddle or without, and I know you'll make me proud with him. I need someone from this family that I can trust with him. Will you take him, Estel?"
There was a long pause before the boy answered. "You called me muindor, 'Dan. You've always only called me gwador before this. You call Elrohir muindor. If I am worthy of that, then I think I can take care of your horse for you, if that is what you would like me to do." The six year old sounded far too adult for his age, but the family knew that came from growing up with the far elder Elves. Estel fingered the leather reins in his hand before tossing them down and launching his small form into his brother's arms. "I will miss you, 'Dan. Say hello to your Nana for me."
Elladan nodded, more proud of his youngest brother than he had ever been, and picked up the boy, groaning under the effort. Placing Estel in the saddle and handing him the reins, Elladan took a last look at the boy before allowing the boy to rejoin the support of his remaining family. But as is the way with all small children, strength can only last so long, even with Elven blood to bolster it, and though Estel had refused to cry, he could not help making one last plea.
"'Dan, I wanna come with you! I don't want to never see you again. Please let me come, I wouldn't cause any trouble." Estel had launched himself off his horse, falling to his knees before rising. When he saw the further heartbreak in his brother's eyes, however, even the youngest child could tell that it was hopeless; he was going to lose his brother forever. Estel dropped his head before taking another deep, shuddering breath and staring once more at Elladan. "I love you, 'Dan, and I will miss you. Please be happy now."
Elrohir had dismounted as soon as Estel had jumped, and now could offer physical support to the boy. He looked at Elladan, and a voiceless goodbye passed. Neither twin could say a word, and none needed to be spoken. Elrohir had accepted the charge to protect Estel, but his heart was breaking all the same. He could only watch as his father grasped Elladan in a fierce hug, silver tracks marring both Elves' faces, and listened to the tearful goodbye.
"You are my oldest son, Elladan, and you have made me proud since the day you were born. You have taken on more responsibility than you should have to, and have been the one I have turned to for everything. You watched over your brothers faithfully, being my eyes and ears and keeping them both safe. You did the same with your mother, it was not your fault what happened; you know this. And you reminded me of that when I couldn't see it for myself. When you took in Estel, I was skeptical, but once again, you showed me that it was the right decision, and since then I have never questioned it. Rest easy now, son, we will take care of him for you, and we will not let you down. Go in peace, ion nin, and please, give this to your mother." Elrohir could see a small box and envelope, with a small lilac twig on top of it. With that, Elrond stepped back and let Legolas and Glorfindel say their goodbyes.
When all was said and done, Elladan joined the circle of his family once more. Elrohir stood next to his brothers, not quite as brave as the child in his midst, tears flowing freely as his hands rested on Estel's shoulders. "'Dan, please…don't go." The hopelessness in his voice was evident, and the answer came as expected.
"I have to, 'Ro…I have to sail." And with that, Elladan turned towards the sea, momentarily pausing to hear his brothers climb the stairs with their father. His words echoed in his head. "I have to sail."
The End…stay tuned for the epilogue
mae govannen – well met
Si lye naa – We are here
Muindor nin – my (blood) brother
Gwador – (chosen) brother
Nana – mom, mommy
Ion nin – my son
