Disclaimer: Don't own.

Three and a half seconds later, Draco woke to find two balls on his eyes.

"Ahhhhh" Draco kicked the balls away like a terrified ferret.

"Dobby is sorry sir, Dobby is just coming to see master's beautiful eyes, sir, and Dobby is coming to tell master that master's eyes is beautiful sir. Dobby is not like Winky to marry Dr Dre sir, Dobby is wanting to borrow bling sir." The ugly thing said rubbing it's volcano like eyes that erupted a few seconds later and Draco fainted again.

Back at Privet Drive, Harry crept towards the door slowly and opened the wooden door that was made of wood.

Immediately, he was blasted by this terrible noise, it wasn't that terrible, Dudley liked the noise and started dancing around the room. Apparently, the mad rapper had lost his sense of direction and was venting his frustrations on the road.

"Left, right left..."

The baby whale, as if hypnotized started waltzing down the hall with his reflection. Vernon sat on the top of the stairs looking proud.

Dudley crashed onto Harry and started waltzing on him.

All of a sudden, there was a scream from one of the house.

The milk chocolate who only melts in your mouth stopped rapping like the way water would stop running when your turn off your tap.

A girl! He must save the girl! His daughter!

He threw himself towards the house where the noise came from but overestimated himself, he couldn't jump that far, he landed on some grass patch instead.

He jumped again and landed in the bush.

Finally, after much stumbling, struggling, bruising, and snorting, on his third jump, he managed to reach the door.

He grabbed the knob and yanked it open.

"What the f?"

The small thing was screaming with his broken leg. The fat thing was dancing up the stairs but he tripped over another fat thing, fell down and broke nose, and the fat thing came tumbling after.

The rapper felt a ball of heat surging through his body, he had the urge to go up and kill the fat ball of thing for breaking his daughter's - wait a minute, that's not his daughter! Suddenly his conscience comes into play.

"Alrigh' stop, before you walk in that door and try and stab the fat lard ball, you gotta think about consequences."

"Who are you?"

"I'm your mother father conscience."

Harry stared up at that guy whom he thought was a death eater and still had no idea if he was one. He seemed to be thinking about something, either that or he wasn't thinking about anything, or maybe he was half thinking about half a thing. Either way, he looked like a Malfoy.

Harry scanned at that guy with his laser eyes, then he realized he was human. But noticed that he was holding a dagger.

The weird dreamy gaze, the dagger, the hair! He immediately pieced everything together.

He's under the crucio curse and out to kill Harry! That explains the weird stare, and why he was holding the dagger, and was not at all related to the hair!

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted with his wand pointed at the man.

The spell hit the man and he fell back in shock, the dagger flew out of his hand in slow motion, spun around 540 degrees sideways, did a back flip and landed into Harry's broken leg.

Back in Hogwarts, some evil idiot greasy git who loves failing students by the name of Snape -whom many people pronounced as Snap, and for that they apologize, they were wrong cause no matter what grease…- sniggered to himself for some reason, and he didn't realize till he started drooling.

On his table, was a photoshopped picture of himself and Hermy-wermy Granger together. He looked at it and sniggered again.

Ooooh, how he loved his daughter. That was in the past. Ooooh, how he loves his daughter. Though he wasn't sure if his daughter looks like that. Her remembered her having black hair and looking evil. Oh well.

Suddenly, Mr half moon Santa Claus rushed into his room without knocking and looking livid.

"SNAP!"

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I shall continue.