Disclaimer: None's mine.

And hey! Thanks for reviewing, it makes me happy like Dobby when he meets Harry.

Harry woke up the next morning, the sun glared angrily at him for a moment, and he got blinded for two and a half seconds.

"Ah! Help!" Harry screeched at the top of his lung and then he suddenly remembered his leg and wasn't blinded anymore.

"Oww." He grabbed it and rubbed it then realizing that the knife was still in his wound.

Harry pulled the knife out and blood started sprayin out.

Suddenly, he could hear Aunt Petunia rapping on his door.

"Yo mama, fancy my mama, I got my mama, no no mama." She jumped off the door and walked off.

He looked around and realized for the 11th time in his life that he had just fallen asleep in the living room. Dudley too, he was lying on someone else, no, his butt was lying on someone's face.

The previous' days event suddenly came back to him.

Knife, Dudley rapping, Blondie, Dudley dancing, pain, Dudley falling, oww, Dudley's a robot?

Then Harry started to feel dizzy cause he was losin too much blood and cause he was afraid of blood, in the wizarding world, they call this: Imsooooafraidofthatredstuffonmylegphobia.

Suddenly(again?) Dudley snorted and farted.

The man under him jerked and Dudley fell forward. The whole room was filled with banana skin smell.

Dudley open his mouth and started wailing bacause he hurt his butt when he fell forward for some reason.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise outside, sound of tires screechin against some rough material thing that shrieks happily that you might call the road. Dudley rolled out of the door and begun beating up Billy Joe(GreenDay) and Joel Madden(GoodCharlotte).

Back inside the house the blonde guy got up and walked to Harry and hugged him.

"Haaaaaaaaailie! Don't die! Oh my poor baby, don't fABCin leave me, oh - " Before he could finish he felt something the left side of his head. His left ear started bleedin and he fell to to floor, out cold.

He managed to sputter out some wierd sounds that nobody but everyone understood, "Fat ... bully ...gelo Bailey..."

Harry screamed as he watched a Dudley sized man ran in. The guy started bashin Harry.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and suddenly, a UFO appeared in the sky, and suddenly Petunia realized that the flash of light came from the UFO.

All of a sudden, the UFO flew away.

Petunia screamed.

When the fat guy finally finished bashin Harry, he went out to join Dudley in a game of Hailie Hunting.

But they gave up, not being able to find Hailie and also because she was currently being babysitted by 50.

They went in and started beating up Harry again.

Billy Joe and Joel Madden were finally free and congratulated themselves, finally they need not spend so much money on eyeliners, as Dudley had already seen to that, both spottin black rings around their eyes.

They started dancing and suddenly Joel pipped happily.

"I know you," he pointed at Billy's famous tattoo, "you're Fat Joe!"

"I'm not fat!" Billy whined and slapped Joel, Joel slapped back, Billy puched back, Joel kicked, Billy whacked, Joel scratched and suddenly both punched at the same time and fell over and got ran over by Vernon's bike.

Vernon had decided to exercise because he had recently put on 0.5 kg and was now half a kilo more than his desired weight which was 180 kg.

He decided that one round around his car was enough because he two round was tiring enough and he needed to get that freak boy to push him on his bike.

"Boooooooooooy!" he screeched merrily. Although his face was now hot pink. Before he could screech again, he fainted cause he was too exhausted and got ran over by Petunia who suddenly decide to take her motorbike out for a walk because she had gained 0.1 kg and was now officially overweight according to her and was now 20.01 kg.

She had made everyone go on a diet, everyone except for Harry who was 19.99 kg and she was jealous of him. She bought him loads of chips the day he came back but yet they mysteriously disappeared and crumbs appeared in Dudley's room.

"Everyone! IN!" She shrieked and screeched. She walked in dragging two panda looking guys into her home and Vernon tried to stagger after her but he got ran over by 50 cent who decide to take Hailie out for a walk he had lost 0.2 kg of his muscle.

"HURRY UP!" He shouted as he took his bling out and whipped Hailie as she hurried trying not to drop 50 and he was now sleeping soundly in her arms.

"Boy go make breakfast, we've got guest!" Petunia shouted at Harry who tripped over his own leg and got ran over by D'angelo Bailey and Dudley who were both so hungry that they forgot that they could run that fast.

Harry started weeping in self pity, because no one understood him and because no one took notice of him, he started wailing, "My leg it HURTS, I think Dudley broke it, my nose hurts too! And my leg is still bloody bleeding! And my tummy, Petunia, Petunia, quick, I need a naked nurse! Hurry - "

He got cut off by that blond rapper who laid forgotten at the foot at the stairs with a bleeding ear.

"That's my line! I'm gonna sue you!" he yelled and picked up his phone and started dialin.

Finally Vernon made it back home after being run over by so many things. He walked in and slammed the door.

"Cook breakfast boy!" He yelled as everyone ran to the kitchen.

Harry started cooking breakfast as Petunia took out her weighing machine and started weighing herself. She then glared at Harry and started mumbling.

"I'll make him... 0.3 kg and I'll be lighter than him... no, 0.4 kg... too close... 0.5 kg ... MWHAHHAHAHAHHA!" She laughed out evily.

She walked over and lifted Harry onto the machine.

She looked down horrified and gaped. 19.96 kg? "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..." Harry had apparently lost 0.3 kg of blood.

Petunia fell to the floor and started mourning.

Suddenly, the door slammed open and in walked Hailie carrying a very furious looking 50 cent, who suddenly jumped off and started whippin Harry and Petunia with his bling because he was hungry and because both were standing next to the stove. He assumed that they were the ones cooking.

Hailie fainted on the floor and the blond rapper quickly ran over to Hailie and started singin to her, "...dada will always love you, dada will always be there for you, Hailie I know you miss your..."

"Daddy you're bleeding." She pointed at his ear and fainted again because she had Imsooooafraidofthatredstuffinmydadsearphobia.

Finally 50 stopped whipping and walked away. Harry fell to the floor because he had lost too much blood. And Petunia carried his body and placed it onto the weighing machine. Still 19.96 kg.

"Nooooooooo, it's not a mistake!" She started sobbing then stood up and started marchin on the spot tryin to lose 0.6 kg.

50 ran up to the blond rapped to wave but due to his excessive amount of muscles around his chest which limited his view, he knocked them over and ran over them.

"Hey where are you?" He yelled as he fell and his muscles covered his face, he couldn't see anything. He stood up and the muscles just won't go away. He ran blindly into the kitchen.

Due to his fear of the dark and afraid that someone might harm him while he's so prone without the sense of sight, he started whippin his bling everywhere, managin to whip Vernon's wig off and it fell into Joel's empty bowl.

"Finally!" He stabbed the wig with his fork but due to the amount of oil on it, it slid away from his fork. Before he could stab it again, Billy snatched it and stuffed it into his mouth.

Dudley who was so hungry, due to the fact that he hadn't eaten since 8 minutes ago yanked the wig out of Billy's mouth gainin a few extra teeth in the process.

He swallowed the wig quickly before D'angelo could snatch it.

D'angelo scowled and punched everyone at the table.

Once the bacons were finished, Petunia quickly stuff them down Harry's throat.

Billy started chewin at his fork, while Dudley complained and whined about having stomachache.

50 finally made it to the table, he could see again, he started flexing his muscles at everyone, showing off his tattoos and the 9 wounds on his body where he got shot before.

"I'm MTV artist of the month." He said looking really smug. But since no one seemed to understand what he was saying, he suddenly blushed and got very self concious and mumbled something.

Then the blond rapper and his daughter got to the table and everyone got impatient and started knocking and banging their forks on the table.

D'angelo and Dudley walked over to Petunia and Harry to see what was takin them.

Dudley scream a very high pitch scream, he started punchin Harry's stomach and stuck his hand down Harry's throat to pull out the bacons.

D'angelo gave a very low pitch scream and started beating up Petunia very badly till she finally had one big bruise the size of her pinky on her arm. She screamed.

Joel got hungry and pulled Billy's fork. Vernon; face beet red, walked over to the two panda eyes and started tearin at their so that he could stick their hair on his head.

The Blond rapper's ears started bleeding again and he fainted while 50 cent started whippin Hailie again.

Just as hell broke lose, the door slammed open.

"STOP!"

Back in Malfoy Mansion, the boy woke up, he stepped over a dead thing, grabbed it and threw it into his closet.

He walked into his bathroom and stared at his reflection and screame.

His hair! It was brown again! Not blond! He picked up a bottle of peroxide and poured it over his head.

Draco smiled at himself as his hair colour lightened.

He heard the door outside his bedroom swung open and a voice.

"Where's he?" his girlfriend asked the empty room. Not empty as some dead thing answered from Draco's closet.

"He's in the bathroom. I think he's takin the crap dude."

Draco's pug face girlfriend started banging on the door.

"Stan - I mean Draco, Draco open up, Draco, DRACO?" Draco didn't answer.

Pansy slid down to the floor weeping to herself.

"My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all, the morning rain cloggs up my window and I can't see at all.
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad..."

Lalallala...