Jim looked at Ivy shocked. He stood so suddenly that the chair he was sitting in fell back. Jim stumbled over it. Ivy made a move to help him and Jim just backed away from her. He needed to get away , not from Ivy, but from the statement that was hanging almost physically in the air between them. Jim could not think of any other words that would have shaken him more. Only one time before had Jim had this reaction to mere words.
"Jim do you understand what I am asking you?" Ivy asked
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"Jim do you understand what I am asking you? I want you to leave. I am sick of this. Sick of the harassment, sick of the phone call and especially sick of you." Laura spat at Jim
Jim had been late that night. He had stumbled home a little drunk, again. Laura had been waiting for him, sitting in the dark.
"It's not that bad. As soon as everything settles down things will get back on track." He wasn't in the mood for this, he had just spent the day testifying against fellow police officers. They were dirty cops, but cops just the same. He knew what Laura was talking about. It had been hard for Laura and Ellie.
Laura had lost her job because of Jims crusade to clean up the police department. Ellie had been shunned at school. If Ivy's father had not intervened Laura's would not have been able to get another job. In fact, Ivy's father had been very helpful to the entire Brass family. He had supported Jim's efforts to clean up the department.
"Jim, things have not been on track for years. We derailed long ago. The only way things will get better for us is for you to leave."
"You don't mean that. You, Elli… mean everything to me. I'm doing this for us."
"When was the last time you had supper here, or any meal in this house. Ellie sees your back more than your face. I can't even remember the last time I felt like I had a husband. I accepted the fact that you wanted to be a cop. I put up with the hours, wondering if you would come home, the other women…"
"Laura, there have never been another woman. You are the only woman I want. Just because your dad….."
"Don't start. If you were like my dad we wouldn't be having this discussion."
Jim looked at her and had he not be drinking he would not have uttered these words.
"Your father was a dirty cop, Laura."
"How dare you. Get out of this house."
"I will not leave my family, I will not leave my daughter."
"She is not your daughter. Think about it Jim. You have to know it. Big time investigator. You weren't even in town when I conceived her. "
The giant elephant that had been in their lives was now named and in the open. Jim had suspected that Ellie was not his daughter. He knew there was no way he could have fathered her. For a while after her birth Jim and Laura had been closer, but it had not lasted. Jim had even spent some time trying to find out who Laura's lover had been, without any success. The only person he had shared this information with was Patrick.
Jim pulled his keys out of his pocket and left the house.
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Jim sat in Ivy's dark living room, head in hands, trying to process what he had just heard. Ivy quietly walked into the room and knelt by Jim's chair.
"Jim I really thought you knew." she whispered.
"I knew Ellie was not my daughter, that's all I knew." he took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, shoulders sagging. Ivy took his hand in hers. "How did you find out?"
"Patrick was trying to clear his conscience I guess. He told me the day he died. Jim, he never wanted to have children with me. He said I was not stable enough to be a mother. Remember the first year after Patrick and I married? I lived in D.C. for a while? I was in a mental hospital."
"Patrick told everyone you had left him was living with your parents in D.C."
"I had a breakdown. That's when it happened, when he and Laura started the affair. Patrick would come to see me on the weekends and go to Laura during the week. He was such a liar. He treated me well enough, butno children, that was the only condition he put on me. Jim, I never knew him to be anything but agood husband."
"Yeah, I told him I knew Laura was having an affair and he listened, he commiserated with me. I never suspected he would sleep with my wife."
"I'm sorry I blurted it out, I really thought you three had hidden this from me. Laura and Patrick make me sick. Jim we stood at Ellie's baptism. I was holding her, and Laura and Patrick knew the truth."
"He told me so many things that night and I just sat and listened. After he told me about Ellie, It made it so much easier to kill him."
