Summary: Classic Will and Grace, no Irene. Refers back to "Saving Grace, Again"
SCENE I: Lobby
GRACE: (Checking mail and starts licking it) Yum…..
ALAN: How's it taste? I've never tried it.
GRACE: (Turns around) Oh! Alan! (Hugs him) What are you doing here?
ALAN: Oh I have a thing with Will. Say…..you never called me back after our date.
GRACE: Yeah…..I'm so sorry; I got your message but-
ALAN: But?
GRACE: (Beat) Will and I went on a little vacation and the machine got broken so I never heard your message again.
ALAN: So you forgot about me.
GRACE: Well-
ALAN: (Laughs) its ok, I'm kidding.
GRACE: Oh (laughs with him) ok.
ALAN: Is it too late? You seeing anyone now?
GRACE: No, I really had fun that night. I mean I don't know if you're hinting a second date. (Beat) (Looks awkward and starts eating her mail again)
ALAN: All right.
GRACE: (Gets the elevator) Come on, I'll bring you up.
SCENE II: Jacques
JACK: (Bringing Karen a plate) Here you go, Kare Bear.
KAREN: What? What did I tell you, Jack? I said I would like a bagel with cream cheese sprinkled with allergy pills.
JACK: That's what this is!
KAREN: Yeah I also told you to hold the bagel and cream cheese.
JACK: Oh sorry.
KAREN: Its ok, I'll just pick the pills off.
JACK: (Sits down with her and drinks a cup of coffee)
KAREN: Aren't you supposed to be at work?
JACK: Uh huh I am. I'm working at home today. Yeah, boss told me to think up a new show to be on Out TV. Something good like maybe a sitcom?
KAREN: (Sighs) is it going to be something unoriginal like "Gay Friends", "Mad About Gays", or "Gay Sex and the City"
JACK: (Thinks) No I was thinking more on the line of, "Gilmore Gays" or "What I like about Gays."
KAREN: Honey, how about something more original, like something that doesn't have the word "Gay" in the title.
JACK: Like?
KAREN: (Scoffs) it's not my job, you think of one.
JACK: Well we just finished making another reality show, "Queer eye for the Queer guy" it's like "Queer eye for the Straight guy" but for kids who just came out.
KAREN: Oh I can tell that's going to be a huge hit.
JACK: Yeah but Boss says we need stop making reality shows and make like shows that involves acting. So he asked me to write a pilot.
KAREN: So you're a writer now?
JACK: This is just a one time thing I'll just pitch it to him and he'll hire someone else to continue it. Where's Irene? She's smart.
KAREN: (Sighs) I don't know, and I don't care.
WILL: (Taking out trash)
JACK: Hey Will, where's Irene?
WILL: She's at school, she's getting behind with working and not getting enough sleep because of the night classes.
KAREN: (Laughs) what a loser.
WILL: We're probably not going to see her for a week or so.
JACK: Oh then want to help me work? I have to think of a new show for Out TV.
WILL: I cant I'm going out with a colleague
JACK: Aw…..
WILL: Ask Karen, I bet if she drank red bull and over dosed on Focacil she'll be the new Einstein.
SCENE III: Doucette and Stein
In the board room…..
WILL: (Looking at papers) so we've reached in agreement, right?
ALAN: Yeah we both will get the number four meal down at the deli.
WILL: (Laughs) so you talked to Grace.
ALAN: Sure did.
WILL: Made any plans?
ALAN: Thinking about it, we haven't set a date though.
WILL: (Nods)
ALAN: I really like her you know? But there's this one problem…..
WILL: What?
ALAN: Since we last saw each other I started dating this other person.
WILL: Well dump the other person!
ALAN: Yeah too bad it's my wife.
WILL: What?!? You guys dated just a couple months ago, how did you get a wife so fast?
ALAN: It was a Vegas thing. (Beat) Listen, I was hoping you wouldn't tell Grace because I never really got to know my "wife" we were just having this casual sex thing going on but, if Grace and I hit it off I can get a divorce!
WILL: (Winces) Ew, you're gross. This is so unlike you.
ALAN: You've never seen me drunk.
WILL: Ok this is just wrong, I have to tell Grace.
ALAN: No there has to be a better way.
WILL: (Gives him a look)
ALAN: Don't look at me like that! Ok I have a plan.
SCENE IV: Jack's Apartment
JACK: (Pacing the room while Karen's on computer) Funny, funny, funny. I have to think of a show that's funny.
KAREN: Does it have to be a sitcom?
JACK: No but Out TV currently doesn't have any so I have a much greater chance that boss wont hit me over the head with a rolled up newspaper.
KAREN: Oh (nods)
JACK: I got it!
KAREN: (Gets excited) what?
JACK: No I don't….. (Beat) I got it!
KAREN: (Gets excited) what?
JACK: Oh I lost it again…..
KAREN: I got it!
JACK: (Gets excited) what?
KAREN: Oops sorry, I accidentally said your line.
JACK: (Beat) I got it!
KAREN: (Bored) What?
JACK: A show…..about a fat gay guy who has a hag, and has two friends. One's an incredibly hot gay man the other is a girl who has big boobs and a ridiculous voice.
KAREN: (Talking higher than usual) Oh honey I love it! Especially the character with the ridiculous voice, I can tell that one's a hoot!
JACK: Start typing.
KAREN: We need character names….
JACK: Wilbert, Gretchen, Jake, and Kaka.
KAREN: (Typing) Kaka!
BOTH: (Get excited and hovers around the computer)
SCENE V: Will's Apartment
GRACE: (Reading a magazine on the couch)
WILL: (Comes in) Hey.
GRACE: Hey cutie, I like your hair today.
WILL: Thanks, yours look good too.
GRACE: You look distracted.
WILL: No I'm just troubled right now. Get dressed, we're having dinner with Alan and his (beat) sister.
GRACE: He didn't tell me he had a sister.
WILL: (Laughs uncomfortably) He didn't tell me either. (Dials on his cell phone) I'll be at Jack's inviting him and Karen.
GRACE: Where are we going?
WILL: We're just having it here. (Leaves)
SCENE VI: Will's Apartment
JACK: (Sets up two more chairs at the table)
WILL: (Cooking)
KAREN & GRACE: (Drinking and relaxing)
WILL: Hey you know what will be nice?
KAREN & GRACE: What?
WILL: If you two helped me set the table and get things prepared.
KAREN: (Scoffs) in your dreams.
GRACE: I would but I'm kind of comfortable sitting here.
JACK: (Sets the table)
WILL: Thanks Jack, see you guys? Jack is usually lazy and slow but he's helping. Why don't you follow by example?
JACK: Um, I'm only helping you because Irene said if I don't be good tonight she was going to sneak in the middle of the night and cut my hair.
WILL: (Sighs) Whatever (Hands him some food to put on the table)
KAREN: (To Grace) Oh honey, I forgot to tell you, Jackie and I made this script for a sitcom to air on Out TV. Yeah, we were hoping if you would read it and give us a comment.
GRACE: Sure.
KAREN: Ok here. (Takes a piece of paper out of her purse)
GRACE: It's one page (smiles)
KAREN: Well it's just the pilot…..
GRACE: Still it's a one paged script usually a half hour show is about 14-16 pages long.
JACK: (Joins them) And you would know this, how?
GRACE: Because I am a TV fanatic and I just so happen to own a couple of transcripts.
JACK: Darn it (runs out and comes back with a laptop in his hand) Come on Karen, our work isn't done yet!
KAREN: Ok honey let me put on my thinking cap. (Takes out red bull and starts taking pills)
SCENE VI: Dinnertime
ALAN: (Comes in and hugs Will) Hey (Kisses Grace on the cheek) Nice to see you again.
GRACE: Same (takes his coat)
FRANKIE: (Comes in)
ALAN: This is Frankie my- yeah.
JACK: Oh shitake mushrooms!
KAREN: What, honey?
JACK: That's the girl I (puffs up his cheeks like about to throw up)
KAREN: Oh Jackie, she's a looker. (Looks at her up and down) oh yeah I'm feeling her.
JACK: I wish Irene was here so she can kick her ass again!
KAREN: She's Grace's boyfriend's sister.
JACK: They don't even look alike, something smells fishy.
FRANKIE: (Saying her hellos to Grace and Will and sees Jack on the couch) Jack.
JACK: (Screams like a girl and runs to Will's balcony)
KAREN: (Laughs and goes up to Frankie) you're hot, want to make out?
FRANKIE: I'm straight.
KAREN: (Shrugs) So am I. So tell me Diane…..
FRANKIE: Frankie.
KAREN: Diane.
FRANKIE: My name is Frankie.
KAREN: Yes but I am calling you Diane. (Beat) So tell me, what was it like to sleep with the queer?
FRANKIE: I rather not talk about it.
KAREN: Why?
FRANKIE: Because last time I talked about it I was beaten up by a person half my height.
KAREN: Man! I wanted to see that!
WILL: (In the kitchen) Grace, I need to tell you something.
GRACE: What? Oh my god you're using your serious face, you're scaring me what is it?!?!
WILL: Ok first of all: calm down. It's about Alan.
GRACE: Frankie's not his sister.
WILL: How'd you know?
GRACE: I might be slow but I'm not stupid. So who is she?
WILL: His wife.
GRACE: Whoa, what?!?
WILL: You said you knew that-
GRACE: Yeah I know what I said but I thought she might be a cousin or a lesbian he's a hag of.
WILL: Ok, play it cool.
GRACE: What? I am disgusted.
WILL: For what it's worth he wasn't married when you went out with him.
GRACE: Oh ok I'm just skeptical now.
FRANKIE: (Goes to the balcony) Hey.
JACK: (Screams again)
FRANKIE: Will you quit doing that? You're giving me a migraine.
JACK: Ew, ew, ew, ew, get away from me.
FRANKIE: Ok look, I am here for my husband, I am just here to eat dinner with you guys and that's it.
JACK: Why is it still talking to me?
FRANKIE: Oh forget it….. (Goes back inside)
(Looks like a riot)
GRACE: (Hitting Alan) I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
WILL: Grace quit it!!
KAREN: (Laughing in the kitchen)
ALAN: I didn't talk to you weeks after!
GRACE: Yeah "I haven't dated in a couple of weeks, I am guess I got to marry a whore!"
KAREN: (To Frankie) why aren't you offended?
FRANKIE: Oh I am a whore.
GRACE: (Starts hitting again)
ALAN: Ow!!
WILL: Grace, stop or else I am making you sleep outside tonight!
ALAN: Look I didn't mean to- I really like you.
GRACE: (Hits him one more time)
ALAN: Ah!
GRACE: I would like it if you left.
ALAN: Come on Frankie.
FRANKIE: (Gives Karen a piece of paper) Call me (Leaves)
SCENE VII: Will's Apartment
WILL & GRACE: (Reading the script)
GRACE: This sounds oddly familiar.
WILL: Names ring a bell too.
JACK & KAREN: (Clueless) How?
GRACE: You wrote a sitcom on what just happened tonight. Will Wilbert, Me Gretchen, Karen Kaka, and Jack Jake.
JACK: Huh, Grace is one smart cookie.
KAREN: What a coincidence! Wow…..
WILL: I don't want this to be on TV.
JACK: Yes you do.
WILL: Yes I do but I don't want my name as Wilbert….. What kind of a name is Frankster?
JACK: That's like asking why is a female named Frankie?
END
