I haven't left my room since Ephram left for New York. I couldn't eat the bagels he sent me and I probably smell horrible. Ephram saw Madison. What if she tells him she was pregnant? I mean, she obviously wasn't pregnant anymore because Ephram would tell me… wouldn't he?

Dammit, where's Hannah when I need her?

I don't want to lose Ephram. I've already lost Colin and if I lose Ephram, I'll completely break. I hate Dr. Brown. If he hadn't sent Madison away, then this wouldn't be happening. But maybe if he hadn't sent Madison away, then Ephram and I wouldn't have started dating. Why is this so confusing?

If Ephram finds out, he might not come back. He could go back and live with his grandparents in New York. He wouldn't come back because coming back puts him with his dad who sent Madison away. What am I going to do if he doesn't come back? My heart can't stand to break again. I don't want to lose him.

Dad thinks I become too involved when I fall in love. He doesn't think it's healthy. Maybe he's right. How healthy is not leaving your room because your boyfriend ran into his ex-girlfriend who he happened to get pregnant?

I need to know if Andy's finally told him or if Madison told him, but he'd call me if he found out. Wouldn't he? I mean, he couldn't not call me could he?

I'm not leaving my room. At least not until I know for sure because my room is safe and outside of my room, reality awaits.