Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the Superstars involved crucially in my dialogue.

Pairings: Some Edge/Lita and/or Kane/Lita references, some other pairing that'll come up in the future, and when I can get JH to show up, a special pair I should have been working at Intergender Survivor Series.

Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.

The Stones of Raw by Prime Time, Legend Champion

Chapter 5: Evil Edgeheads

Following 1/10/05 episode of Raw

Office Depot Center in Fort Lauderdale, FL

New Year's Revolution saw a major event within the scales of Raw. The happenings of the Pay-Per-View are as follows, none being in order other than the first, second, and final events:

Eugene and William Regal defeated Tyson Tomko and Christian to keep the World Tag Team Championships. After the match, Eugene ended up injured, and Edge approached Christian backstage about becoming the World Heavyweight Champion.

When landing awkwardly after performing a Thesz Press in her WWE Women's Championship defense against Trish Stratus, Lita suffered a torn ACL in her left knee, causing her to handily lose the title and costing her the next few months of her career.

Shelton Benjamin defended the WWE Intercontinental Championship against Maven twice. Maven lost the first match by getting far too involved in trash talking with the Puerto Rican fans, then compared Benjamin to Trish in order to punk him out into an immediate rematch. However, no sooner was it than the moment Benjamin pinned Maven again with a T-Bone Suplex.

Kane defeated Gene Snitsky by covering him after hitting a Tombstone Piledriver, the patented maneuver of his brother, The Undertaker. Ten months ago, Kane himself had suffered that move at the hands of Taker at WrestleMania.

Muhammad Hassan pinned Jerry Lawler after firing a facebuster maneuver of his against him. Daivari got involved in the match.

Before the Elimination Chamber, Edge had offered that Eric Bischoff give him a match against the winner of the Chamber affair for the World Heavyweight Championship, and that Christian take Edge's place in this the original match, since he felt Shawn Michaels' presence would cost him the Championship. Bischoff did not do as requested, and Edge wound up taking Sweet Chin Music, which got him eliminated first, within the Chamber's confines. Triple H became the World Heavyweight Champion by pinning Randy Orton after a Pedigree as the last out.

To begin Raw, the new World Heavyweight Champion came out to his music with his closest associate, Ric Flair, and let it run for a long time, savoring the moment of greatness for himself. He then proceeded to make a major victory speech in which he basically said that the fans haterated on him all the time, and they can kiss his ass, because he is the World Heavyweight Champion for the tenth time. The Nature Boy demanded the fans show the Game respect, but Trips said to hell with them. He did go on to finish by introducing Batista as the dominant man in Evolution, and a man who Trips is proud to call friend. The Leviathan showed up, all three members of Evolution in awesome suits, and exchanged positive contact with both the Nature Boy and the Cerebral Assassin. However, before a word in edgewise could come, out came Randy Orton, in an equally rich suit, and to much more admiration, doing several things. a) He demanded a rematch against Triple H for the World Title. b) He showed pieces of footage that showed that although Batista had Trips' back at the Elimination Chamber, things were not so much the other way around. The second part of the footage deleted the ability of the Game to excuse the first. Trust issues were already left unfunded in Evolution. c) His intervention resulted in Eric Bischoff coming out, yet another suit in hand, to declare a #1 Contender's match between Batista and Orton.

A piece of footage came up about a future live Raw event in Tokyo, Japan. Shelton Benjamin then defeated Maven in a Royal Rumble qualifying match.

The next scene saw Muhammad Hassan and Daivari come out for a match between Hassan and The Hurricane. As they were coming out, Jim Ross claimed that they represented their own political agenda, not true Arab Americans. Hassan said that his historic victory against Jerry Lawler last night at New Year's Revolution was a blow to the racist media, but that his personal revolution to beat sense into America had only just begun. Hurricane's music came up, sending more glee into the voices of Raw than it ever did before. Daivari cheated in a part of the match, which ended early with a facebuster of Hassan's to Hurricane, the same one he delivered to Lawler last night. Notes were exchanged between the Arabian Psychos and the voices of Raw.

Batista was shown in the back, thinking, when Trips came into the Evolution room. They stared one another face to face, and Trips said that despite the crap Randy Orton was putting in Batista's head, the Game wanted Batista to know that he had his full support against Randy Orton, and then that he considered it a great honor if the two could fight for the Title, and that Batista deserved it. The Capital Destroyer said that all people eventually get what they deserve, and left the locker room. Trips stared at him.

Edge faced his old friend Rhyno in a Royal Rumble qualifying match next. Edge quickly attacked Rhyno to begin the match, but the strength of the Man Beast gave him the real early advantage in the bout. However, Edge picked up the intensity to retake an advantage. Basically, it went from place to place in the middle of this bout. Rhyno had an opportunity to go for a Gore, but Edge gave him a big boot to counter. The very angry Arch of Awesomeness then went on to win the match with a Spear and Edgecator. Edge took the mic and complained about Shawn Michaels screwing him out of the World Heavyweight Championship via Sweet Chin Music. He then proceeded to hold up the show by not leaving the ring until the Showstopper himself shows up. We went to commercial break. When we returned, Edge said that Michaels had to show up when he was having his TV time because he was the most selfish man in this industry, and proceeded to go through his history up from Taboo Tuesday to Revolution, making the claim that Michaels constantly screwed him out of the World Title. Michaels came out, as Edge demanded, and claimed that Sparks Mineral was complaining too much about everything and needed to look to the future. He said that Edge needs to win the Royal Rumble, and then go on to become the World Champion at WrestleMania, rather than complaining and saying that the Heartbreak Kid screwed him day after day after day like he did. (though it may not have gone that far) Edge realized that he does need to slap some sense into himself, but liked "this idea" better and proceeded to slap Shawn Michaels and start an all-out restriction-needy brawl. Most would agree that Shawn had the upper hand when it was all said and done.

But, it wasn't all said and done just yet. The fight escalated into a commercial break and return, as Edge and Michaels were bashing each other and the entire place apart. It wasn't done by the time Simon Dean decided to come out to promote his Simon System and disrespect the people once again. He mentioned the things Florida was known for, but disgracefully included the mention of seriously fat and ugly people. He said that beaches are filled with Floridians with such terrible physiques they might as well be beach whales. He offered a sample of a fat burner pill from his patented weight loss system and said it was coming to a freak with over 300 pounds and a mask. He thought it was Rosey, but out came Kane, a plus-300 pounder who used to wear a mask. They shared pills, and Kane beat the living tar out of Simon, then proceeding to take his heavyweight belt. Simon hit Kane to make him let go, and the Seven Foot Monster toyed around with a Chokeslam from Hell. Snitsky then came up from behind with a steel chair and continued with the weight belt an assault which reaggravated an earlier time-crushing internal injury that Kane had suffered at the hands of the Genetic Evilness at Taboo Tuesday. So now, Lita - who had suffered a knee injury in her Women's Title defense against Trish Stratus whch led to the Queen of Stratusfaction getting an easy victory - and her husband were both out for a long while. This probably made Edge, the Arch of Awesomeness, very uncomfortable.

Now, Trips was in the Evolution room, and Ric Flair came to him in order to speak that Batista was leaning more towards Orton, and that he truly was needed in Evolution. The two had to motivate the Leviathan to combat the Legend Killer for him. Triple H came up with the negative reinforcement plan, which basically spoke that Batista would get motivated with the thought of his record against Randy Orton not being so good. Flair was skeptical about the plan. He needed the Game to tell him he was positive… not once, not twice, but thrice!

Then came a tag team match, featuring the former heated rivals who later found mutual respect for one another and went on to compose a championship tag team - Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit - against Tyson Tomko and Christian. During Christian's entrance, we heard the words "opportunistic" and "smart" to describe Christian and Tomko's challenging for this match, with the mention that Benoit and Jericho were battered, bruised, and walking wounded coming into the match due to the Elimination Chamber. The match was competitive enough to make that an obvious fact, many people knowing that rather than just an ordinary great tag team, Benoit and Jericho were a couple of World Heavyweight Title contenders who know each other very well, and that anybody, including Tomko and Christian, could be beaten easily by them. However, the warriors named Chris managed to make Tomko and Christian tap out to their submission maneuvers at the same time for the win.

Ric Flair returned to the Evolution room with a bad report, claiming that it did not go well. Batista is in a bad mood, almost tore the Nature Boy's head off, came damn well near powerbombing him through a cement wall, and actually questions whether Evolution is really behind him tonight. Trips, tired of the wedge of disagreement drawn between the supreme dream team of Evolution, decides that he is going to prove that he supports Batista. Smackdown Rebound showed Kane's brother, The Undertaker, dealing a huge blow into Smackdown's derangement master, Heidenreich, by Tombstoning Paul Heyman into a casket.

Lita will be out of action for several months because of the hyperextended left knee, but we certainly can enjoy a hot match and get a better moment. Candace is doing whatever you call officiating for a lingerie pillow fight between Maria and Christy. As playful retaliation for Maria's pillow-spiking spunk, Lilian Garcia inserts herself into the match big time, eventually causing Christy to get a victory roll over Maria. After the match, even Candace got splacked with a pillow from Christy, and the three newer attractions jump on the match bed and parade around the ring together. But the hotness was quickly shot down. Batista and Randy Orton were shown making their way to the ring. Who will win the right to face Hunter Hearst Helmsley World Heavyweight Championship? The Evolutionary Animal, David Batista? Or the Legend Killer, Randall Keith Orton?

Triple H's music shone on again. He and Flair came out again. But this mood was not even half as celebrative as the previous one. They got chairs at ringside, with the obvious plan to watch - and probably personally rig - the match which would determine whether The Game defends his World Title against his and the Nature Boy's current young Evolution cohort, or the former future of their golden unit. Every moment Batista showed off as he came out or made an effective move during the match, Triple H and Ric Flair showed some sign of support. When Batista was sent staggering to the outside before the commercial break in the match, Trips and Nache came over to the Leviathan to show concern. Batista's elder teammates never sat down until after the break.

At the end of the match, Flair tried to distract the referee, while Triple H worked to give Batista a steel chair. The Big Dave did not accept the presence of the black chair, and Orton eventually pushed Batista right into the chair. The collision also blasted Triple H off the apron and gave Orton a rollup to win the match. The Legend Champion celebrated at the ramp while Batista initially threatened to issue the Game a shot of that steel chair, but after a little bit of pleading, Batista looked back and forth with much contempt.

"What a freaking disaster!" Edge complained to Matt Hardy.

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked the Arch of Awesomeness.

"Hey, shut up. I'm talking here. Yesterday was the most terrible night of all time!" Edge continued his whining.

"That gives you no right to just order me to shut up! I'm trying to find out what the hell you're-"

"What the hell I'm complaining about, right? Let me go through the laundry list! 1: Tyson and Christian get tricked out of the Tag Team Titles by Eugene. Eugene! Do you know what he is? A retard! A retard tricked Tyson and Christian out of the Titles! 2: Lita tears her ACL with that idiotic Thesz press move, so she can't even be here anymore, and it left that monster slut TRISH STRATUS TO REGAIN THE WOMEN'S TITLE! 3: Eric Bischoff will not even take my word when I ask him to replace me in the Elimination Chamber with Christian, despite my mentioning of the fact that Shawn Michaels will cost me the World Championship! That decision would have gotten me a title shot tonight, so I'd at least have a legitimate chance to win! 4: Kane couldn't even beat Gene Snitsky without using that hypocritous piece of crap Tombstone Piledriver! That's the move Undertaker crucified him with at WrestleMania 20! And last, but most certainly not least, 5: just like I predicted, that selfish man, that Heartburn Kid, Shawn Michaels, does EXACTLY as I predicted and COSTS ME THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP AGAIN!"

By now, Edge was perspiring with anger.

"Hey, Edge. Calm down, man. Just because you're not the Heavyweight Champion of the World doesn't mean Shawn Michaels got his way. I know he was hoping that either Chris Benoit or Randy Orton won the Elimination Chamber match, or that Batista betrayed me in the middle of it. And all of that didn't happen, now did it? Even though you got screwed out of the title, the owner does deserve it, man. And it's me." Triple H suddenly appeared to soothe Edge into his own confidence.

"Hey, Triple H! After Rhyno and Shawn Michaels, I'm still looking for someone to take out my aggression on! I'm not willing to attack any of my friends, but you most certainly don't qualify as that or as a Diva! So, I have no objection to the concept of taking everything out on you!"

"As much as I don't like Triple H, Edge, and as much as I don't like you," Shawn Michaels suddenly came up, "I have a small bit of advice. Calm down and take it out on him when its time. At WrestleMania 21, when you really start kickin' ass, takin' names, and becoming the World's Champion."

"Michaels, shut up! As far as I'm concerned, you two should, not can, but should kiss and make up, and then go on to kiss my ass! How do you like them apples?" Edge yelled, leaving the area in an angry storm. Michaels and Trips' moods were darkened as well.

"What the hell just happened here?" Christian came up and asked out of curiosity. The former Degeneration X friends ordered him to shut up and get the hell out of here before he got hurt.

"Sheesh, DX. When did you get that pissed?"

"Out!"

Christian left. Trish was concerned. Apparently not for Captain Charisma, but for the Game.

"Hey, Triple H. What's going on? Why are you frowning there with Shawn Michaels and yelling at Christian?" Trish asked him.

"You must break off your backstage relationship with Christian," Trips told her suddenly. "He already believes you're a monster. Plus, he and his lifelong partner Edge are disrespectful to the greatness of the Game. Edge told me and Shawn Michaels to kiss and make up, and then to kiss his ass. And Christian called us DX!"

"What? I mean, that's absolutely obnoxious! I knew something was wrong when Christian didn't kiss me in front of the Raw audience anymore after he came back, but I think it's become intolerable." With that, she went into the halls where Christian was walking, and said something that is seemingly… a little creepy.

"Hey, Christian! We're through! I don't want you anymore!"

The Peep Man's response:

"Fine! I don't either, anyway, Demon Angel Stratus!"

The Royal Cloud Babe's retaliation:

"You're gonna pay for calling me a demon!"

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho is enjoying a conversation with Chris Benoit.

"I can't believe this, man. Christian and Tomko, how much nerve can a tag team have?" Jericho asked Benoit, who simply shook his head thinking about them. "First, they injure Eugene in that tag team match, and we don't even know what the hell's gonna happen with the tag team titles. And now, they see that we're injured from the chamber match, and this is the only situation in which Christian could ever beat me again. So, what do they do? They challenge us in a tag match, and we teach them a lesson."

"Yeah, I know. There's people like that in this world. Christian's best friend isn't exactly the greatest honest abe of all time himself," Benoit said, that comment referring to the egotistically angered Edge.

"Trust me, man. I know all about it. Edge and Christian both turned their backs on me in the past," Jericho recalled out loud.

"The man was real busy wishing me luck because I'm a Canadian, back when he and Regal were among those idiots who had a grudge against America. And now, all of a sudden, every man in the US who booed him then and still booes him now is all of a sudden his peep. What the hell is up with this guy?"

"Yeah, but there's another update. A really cool update, CB," Jericho said. "Oh, by the way, speaking of the UnAmericans, look what's happened to them; Regal and Christian are enemies, Storm's retired and training little kids, Test was cut outta here with a neck injury, the first guy to actually get released in that situation since I've been here. And that means he sucks! Anyway, the really cool update; I think Evolution was single-handedly killed by RKO."

"Yeah. Every piece of action that Randy Orton did was a contributor to what we foresee as the end of Evolution. And I don't know how Ric Flair and Triple H couldn't make that into a lie. I guess their loyalty to him isn't as strong as his initial loyalty to them," Benoit stated.

"And even knowing the kiss-ass that Batista is, that doesn't say much for the Game," Jericho followed up.

"Batista is leaving Evolution. I know it," Randy Orton all of a sudden appeared.

"We know it too, man. Congratulations. You've finally broken up the lackey from his masters," Jericho said, congratulating the Legend Champion on the inevitable conclusion of what he just started.

"Of course, man. Batista and I, we were best friends. I know he has that killer instinct in him. I personally know that he's not gonna be living under somebody's very thin juevos for his entire career. D-Von and Evolution were serious detention for him. But it's about to be all over, man. I'm gonna beat Triple H for the World's Title, and Batista's gonna leave and destroy the name Evolution. Thus beginning the end of Ric Flair's shady business, but ultimately, the end for Triple H; the times in which I take everything away from him!" Orton declared. "He doesn't deserve that World Title, those great suits, those limo rides, those women, those faithful lackeys, or anything else of enviable value he's got!"

"Oh, excuse me?" Trish suddenly interfered.

"Well, look who it is. The Monster Slut herself, Trishieneck Frankenstratus. I heard Captain Charisma dumped you like a trash can object," Randy said.

"Yeah, thanks, Randy. I knew you'd be considerate," Trish sarcastized. She quickly proceeded to get serious. "But look here. You don't honestly expect me to believe that Triple H is going to lose everything just because you decide to try breaking up Evolution. Do you?"

"I don't care about you, Trish. I believe that," Randy boldly declared to the beautiful (though not exactly favorable) blonde. "And that's all that matters."

"Evolution is much stronger than you. Let me personally warn you, kid. If you truly think you're about to get away with destroying my friends - Triple H and the rest of Evolution, by the way - then you are out of your mind, Randy. Look at me," Trish attempted to affect his psyche. "The beautiful woman knows all, especially when scorned. And I perfectly know that if you idiots (remembering Benoit and Jericho are in the area), or Edge, or Christian, or anyone try to get in the way of Evolution, that you're taking a one-way trip to the hospitals." With that, she walked away. We go somewhere else.

We have Kane, Viscera, and Gangrel sitting inside the boiler room.

"Lita's gone, man. At least for a while. I don't know when she's coming back, but I'm sure we're all gonna miss her," Gangrel started the conversation.

"It's pathetic, people. Viscera, Gangrel, do you hear me? This is pathetic!" Kane complained. "Right when I begin to speak to the man who Lita is beginning to take interest to, we both have to suffer the fate of not being able to see her with us here. I could look at Edge, and I know that Edge loved her. Somewhere, deep down inside, he had something for her. I was perfectly willing to be his friend, and last week, I felt that it was true. But he can't even realize it for himself well enough to disclose it to anyone else, when all of a sudden, that idiot ACL had to tear up on her, and we're all worried sick! Edge, myself, her ex-boyfriend Matt, and even Jeff Hardy has called me about it!"

"It's pathetic, man. Li, she was evil. She was evil like us, like your bro," Viscera explained to the Big Red Machine.

"Don't bring up The Undertaker!" Kane immediately spouted.

"Sorry, man. It's just we used to be in his Ministry, and you two are more alike than even us. And she's basically one of the band these days," Viscera mentioned. "I hate to see a good romance, or a warrior with beauty, take that bad a bump in the road. And that's exactly what the hell just happened."

"I can't even talk to you about how much she was like family to me. When you married her, and introduced her to us, it was glorious. It was as if all she had to do was overcome hate and fear, and she wasn't just property, or the mom of a kid. She's one of us, man. It's sad to see her hurt like that. But don't forget, Kane. She's living. We can still visit her, and talk to her, and help her out in the process until she gets better," Gangrel pointed out. "I just don't know what to say about Edge. I mean, when I heard they started talking, I knew more than anyone what was going on. I've been around both Lita and Edge, and it's a kinetic match if Edge can stop complaining about everything like a piece of crap these days."

"NOOOOOO!" a very familiar voice was heard screaming on the outside.

"That sounds like-"

"Edge!" Kane interrupted the Mohawk Knight.

"Leave me the hell alone!" his voice blared from the other side of the door again.

Meanwhile, Shelton Benjamin saw Edge looking pathetic and offered to help him.

"Edge, man. Don't embarrass yourself here. I've got an idea. Maybe you should pretend you've just won the Intercontinental Championship, and a shot at the World Title. Just pretend for about a minute. It'll help ya," Shelton suggested to the Arch of Awesomeness.

"Shut up, Benjamin!" Edge ordered him, jolting to his feet. "Pretending to be the Intercontinental Champion? Is that your best idea on what I could do to heal? First of all, none of my friends have a Championship. Second of all, Lita is at a hospital over a torn ACL! She's gonna be gone for months! And, Michaels screwed me out of the World Title! Don't forget that!"

"Sheesh, man. I'm only trying to help you out here."

"We've lost the Queen of Extreme, and without a title to show for how much we bust our asses off for this business! Listen, Shelton. A lot of people can tell you that three things that mean the most to me are the success of my non-opposing friends, Lita, and the World Heavyweight Championship. And nothing is working for me here, kid! NOTHING! And you with that multi-European belt, it's partly your fault, so don't tell me I don't know what the hell I'm talking about!"

"The belt doesn't say 'multi-European'. It says, 'Intercontinental Champion, Shelton Benjamin'," Shelton interrupts Edge's most recent rantations. The two went into a small fist fight in which Edge took an advantage and attempted to irishwhip Benjamin into the wall. Shelton countered, but Edge bent his left leg and stetched his arms backward so as not to feel impact. As Benjamin walk up to him, the Arch of Awesomeness was able to issue the Spear.

"Take that, you punk!" Edge yelled in the downed Benjamin's face, leaving the area. Kane opened the door as Edge left, and look out. What he saw was an angry man walking to the parking lot.

At the parking lot, Edge sat down on a car near Christian, who was discussing something with Tomko.

"I can't believe it. What the hell is wrong with her, anyway?" Christian questioneded the Problem Solver. This was obviously about Trish.

"I have no idea, man. But seriously, think about it. Do you want her?" Tyson asked Christian.

"Excuse me? Do I want her? What kind of a question is that? You damn near know theoh, wait. I do want her. But let me finish. I do want her to get her head straight and get back to being the Trish I knew, the Trish that pulled that ultimate prank all over Jericho, the Trish that liked having fun by joking with others, even if the jokes themselves made their receivers miserable. Not this hell diva that talks trash to somebody as they're about to get killed, and then goes on to undermine me and kiss Evolution's ass, each of the latter happening more and more and more as time goes on," Christian said. "So, yeah. I do want her. I want her to shape up. I want her to get her head straight. I want her to get back down to earth. And maybe after that, I'll want her to be my girl again, which is exactly what you're talking about."

"She's turned too many people against her. And that includes me, and just about anybody that knows either Lita or any of us three," Edge suddenly said, with a certain anger, and causing Tomko and Christian to turn to him.

"Nice to know you could drop in," Tomko said. "What's with the pissed mood."

"Revolution was the worst night of my life!" Edge immediately grumbled.

"Edge, man, we go way, way back. Ever since we first chatted as kids, we were destined to be one of the best tag teams in wrestling history. Being that it was that far back, I know what you're whining about," Christian informed Sparks Mineral before he spoke. "But next week, we go to Toronto, the place where it all began, man. We get to visit a few old peeps here and there, get larger ovations than either of us have gotten in a while, mine being longer than yours, of course, and party all night long with somebody's high school sweetheart. But right now, we need to go out a few places, just Captain Charisma, the King of Tattoo, and the Abbot, not just Arch, but Abbot of Awesomeness. See, Edge, you're like an abbot, because Awesomeness is like a monastery. I know a lot of people that lived and breathed the Awesomeness dynasty, as if they were nuns and monks - mostly females, so mostly nuns - at a monastery or a convent. We were the thing, man. The thing that was teaching people that wrestling, sports, and entertainment was about a lot more than main event contests and super hot girls. If people weren't talking about how Triple H did this or The Rock did that or Mick Foley took this much or that much pain or Steve Austin performed this or that or Vince McMahon and his family are so evil, and if they weren't talking about things like Sable's painted hands, or a L… uh, or a bra and panties match dealing with Trish, they were talking about Edge and Chrstian, the tag team formerly known as Hard Impact, the tag team forming a dynasty in success, coolness, and most importantly of all, Awesomeness. And they were trying to understand our special lingo, which we had put onto a very popular site called the Edge and Christian Show, which was actually still running up until somewhere down at the end of last year, as well as pictures of our former dynasty. Hell, one of our first entrance themes is actually on a Canadian site as we speak! So, Edge. It would be an honor for us to relive those days from now into next week."

"Damn straight, Christian. I thought you were trying to maybe abase, or abash, or abate me, but after hearing you today, I know that we are a dynasty. Captain Charisma, Show Stealer, Peep Man, I am proud to stand by your side and call me your best friend," Edge said. "Now, let's get out on the road, shall we?"

"Oh, hell yeah," Christian smirked. The two shook hands and had a small friendly hug before going out on the town. Apparently, some words of praise, encouragement, or comfort from a long time running buddy did it for Edge. Tyson, Edge, and Christian were going to have an awesome time.