Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.
Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and Kane/Lita, maybe a little RKO/Stacy, and maybe another JH pairing is in mind, but not this soon.
Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.
The Stones of Raw by Prime Time, Legend Champion
Chapter 7: Enter Naughty Game
Following 1/24/05 episode of Raw
Ford Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
The Artist of Awesomeness and Captain Charisma enjoyed a night alongside one another as the greatest heroes of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, as they returned home to put together a moment which culminated in Edge beating the living hell out of the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. But there was one problem with that night: that was last week, and it was not the Royal Rumble. The real worries here are about Edge not being able to settle his tag team's beef with the Showstopper himself. These worries were reignited at the beginning of the night, as Tyson, Edge, and Christian were going to have to compete hard because of their actions last week against Shawn Michaels. It was a six man tag involving the three "villainous heroes of Canada", Michaels, and his two tag team partners, the Chris Team of Benoit and Jericho.
At one point, Shawn Michaels went for a cheap shot on Edge as he took down Christian in the beginning, and ended up hitting nothing of the man fixated upon destroying him. Jericho once did his footwork dance on top of Tomko, causing him to become flustered for a little while. At the commercial break, Edge and Tomko were taken to the outside, and Jericho and Benoit lifted Christian over their shoulders in order to throw him down onto his partners, which happened. During commercial, however, my tag team took the match's control, but when Shawn Michaels got to the ring, they had trouble retaining it until Christian irishwhipped Michaels to the ropes on his side. Edge lowered the ropes, taking Shawn down to the outside. Sparks Mineral then got the tag from Captain Charisma after bringing Michaels back into the ring, but Shawn tackled Edge straight back to that corner, and Christian tagged in and took advantage of Michaels punching Edge on the ground. Tomko eventually returned to the ring with a new focus. Edge and Michaels eventually brawled on the floor again, and Christian got tagged in again. Michaels got a Thezs Press soon after and even whacked Christian with a couple of hard fists! Christian, however, didn't let Michaels get a tag. Rather, he won a tug of war to get to a tag team partner and kept Shawn on the ground for Tyson, the tagged partner, to jump him. Even Edge came back into the match after Tomko hit a powerslam, and with a little help from the Problem Solver, he hitched a great dropkick, and actually mocked Shawn Michaels' physique pose! Edge and his friends have been isolating Michaels for a long time, and then Christian eventually punked out Jericho so that when Michaels got a small package on him, Christian could somehow take a breather before kicking out because the ref was distracted by Y2J's illegal entry. Eventually, Tomko got tagged in, and so did Michaels reach for a tag. Unfortunately, Michaels got it to Benoit, and Tyson stupidly flustered, causing Benoit to be able to go on fire, which eventually wound up in Tyson missing a Big Boot, receiving Sweet Chin Music, and getting pinned. Edge commented that Michaels was his at the match at the Royal Rumble. After Smackdown Rebound showed up with the event last week in which The Big Show as shown by Kurt Angle and John Bradshaw Layfield for being the lovestruck idiot who could - and did - easily get destroyed, Stacy Keibler was seen making her way to the ring with a sweet surprise for Jim Ross and a hot black outfit.
Stacy Keibler then went on to come out and announce that the Governor of Oklahoma declared that this day be Triple H day… whopps, I mean Jim Ross day. She presented a legendary Oklahoma college wrestler called Danny Hodge, who by now is ancient; she introduced Jim Ross to the ring, and the Oklahoma University anthem was all over. He had a lot of fanfare, almost as much as Christian had gotten last week, if the signs in the audience tell anything. There was even a sign with J on one side and R on the other, which the guy holding it kept rotating to the anthem. Stacy also presented footage from an press conference and autograph session in which Oklahoma Governer Brad Henry declared January 24th, 2005 as Jim "JR" Ross day, and JR said the following saying: "I'm Sooner born, I'm Sooner bred, and by God, when I die, I'll be Sooner dead." Even his death would be nice for this day the way it was going right now. He then went on to receive a kiss on the cheek from Stacy, which obviously stimulated him even though he stays mature, and then began talking about his parents when Triple H came out with Ric Flair. This is Triple H's funniest - though sickest in a different way - moment of all time, so I will be giving full coverage of it right now.
"Oh, God, whoo! That'd bring a tear to a glass eye. Oh, my… oh! Oklahoma and JR day. Can you believe it? Oklahoma celebrating JR day. (waits out cheers as Flair pretends to hail JR) That's like crap telling puke it smells good! (jeers come) Come on, seriously! Are you guys that big of losers, you've got nothing going on but Jim Ross? (boos) You asked it, now I'll ask it. Any Sooners here? (fans cheer to show themselves) Nache, what was the score of the last Sooners game? (Flair comes on, speaking through fanatic jeers the score of USC 55, OU Sooners 19) (Trips is laughing maniacally) That's the kind of game you leave at the end of the third quarter, you know what I'm saying, JR? Oh, my God! Are you people serious? Listen to me. You guys want something to celebrate? How about, how about this? How about Triple H day? (boos arrive, Flair hails Triple H) How about a day for the ten-time World Heavyweight Champion? That, that would be a celebration! Yeah. (fans boo again) Now, JR, I'm sorry to interrupt ya, and I know this little hayseed celebration is a big deal to ya here, but I got some business to attend to, so why don't you take Father Time here and run along? Go on. (boos come) Go on. ("You Suck" chants arrive, Trips grabs Stacy's arm as she attempts to leave along) Hold on, Stacy. Not you. See, you, Stacy, are part of the business I want to take care of. You see what I'm saying? Stacy, y- (JR comes back, cheers come along) Maybe you didn't hear me, JR. Maybe you didn't hear me. I said to go away. (JR's rebuttal "I heard you. And I know you're World's Champion, and I know I'm only an announcer, and you'd beat my butt, but by God, as a man, I'm not gonna leave you alone with Stacy Keibler." earns cheers) Whoa, hold on a second now, let me get this straight now. You're a man, huh? You're a man now, JR? (tries to imitate OK people, though it sounds more like Batista) You big Oklahoma man, huh? Is that you? (fans cheer at the thought) Big Sooner Boomer, huh? (stops imitation) Run along, JR. What was that saying, you said? Sooner born, Sooner bred, you keep going, JR, sooner than later, you're gonna be dead. (fans boo, Flair punches JR in the grapefruits from behind) You see, JR? That's the kind of thing th- ("Father Time" turns the Game around and splacks him, causing him to let go of Stacy. Flair pushes him down, and then the two Evolutioners stomp on him like vulptures, ending Stacy and the fans' small moment of goodwill, because they are booing, and the Empress of Legs fails to escape before the Cerebral Assassin takes ahold of her arm again) Now, you see, Stacy, maybe you didn't understand me. This is Triple H day. And, seems you wanted to kiss JR, and last week, I saw you smoochin' Randy Orton. Maybe it's time you give the World Champion a little bit of that action, huh? (Stacy continues to resist as fans groan) You misunderstand me, Stacy. I'm not asking ya. I'm telling ya. (goes in for kiss, fans resist too much anger, and Stacy manages to keep away from the lip lock, although he's gripped her head with his powerful hand) You know what, Stacy? On second thought, I've got a better idea for you."
With that comes the sickness. He sticks her head in for the Pedigree, which gives the camera a small look up Stacy's skirt at her ass, but really gives every spectator with a little bit of sense a huge look up the skirt of Triple H's character at its undisputable half-ass. And Randy Orton would definitely agree with me. In fact, the Legend Champion stopped it right there, and Triple H threw Stacy at him, and the two Evolutioners ran off.
Anyway, now that we're done with Hunter Hearst Helmsley showing signs of future rapist conduct in the middle of that ring, let's go to Ric Flair and Triple H walking backstage and noticing the sexy Candace talking to some Shane-looking guy in the arena… only to be rejected after Triple H pulls up her skirt behind her and takes his own large and unsolicited look at her behind, and then tries to force himself upon her. By now, they're high, and they've almost reached the room. When they do, they meet Batista and tell him - with an unreturned glee - about what happened in the ring, since he didn't see it. Trips excuse the runaway as wanting to leave Orton to Ric Flair before the Royal Rumble. Batista noted that speaking of which, he was taking the Royal Rumble qualifying match. Trips starts talking all sorts of crap to him, when Batista mentions that the main focus was that the World Title stay in Evolution. If by some off chance Orton takes Trips' title, Batista should enter the Royal Rumble, because he will win, and he'll go to WrestleMania XXI, and he'll win the title back to Evolution. Now they've got all their bases cover. Oh, he's gotta go talk to Bischoff.
Eric Bischoff is dealing with WIlliam Regal asking him for a chance to qualify for the Royal Rumble. He mentions that Regal was not loyal to Bischoff when he was asked to help him out with Eugene, so the Rumble spot the Born Naughty Ambassador wants so bad will instead go to Bischoff's buddy, Coach. The Playa is, obviously, elated at the honor, and he says he'll take care of the other business Bischoff wants him to handle. Then, La Resistance show up, asking for Rumble spots. Batista appears and accepts the qualifying match. Sylvan Grenier suddenly makes the mistake of a La Resistance vs. Batista match in which every piece of the winning corner is in. Bischoff starts to object, but Batista says he'll beat both of them. Robert Conway threatens to shove his Quebec flag up Batista's throat after La Resistance's victory. Batista said that after he wins, he's gonna stick that flag somewhere else. As Batista left office, Grenier started talking some incredulous French that you could know I can understand.
Next, Coach is out here to his Playa's Club music, mentioning a Royal Rumble qualifying match with Tajiri that has been changed to an over-the-top-rope challenge. The opponent is… yes. The Mohawk Knight, Viscera. And this one, ironically, is over in a flash, while its winner couldn't run around a rental car in the length of a Mon Gazza Speedway lap in Star Wars Episode 1 RACER run regularly without any boosters. The Deadly Night of Kane part of last week was shown. And next: La Resistance vs. Batista. Obviously a huge mistake.
Tajiri was wincing in the back, when he got interviewed by Maria. He still hadn't gotten his bearings straight, proven from the moment he started speaking completely in Japanese to her. William Regal showed up, looking for him to concoct an evil plan to get back at Eric Bischoff. He tried to hit on Maria while at it, asking if there was something she wanted to ask him before deciding he interview was over. She said not really. He made a comment, and she couldn't get a straight answer when she asked what it was that he said. He said it was just the start of something special, leaving with Tajiri, and leaving Little Miss Kanellis with a good laugh… yet again.
Then came Batista vs. La Resistance. This match, though the tag team had a mild period of control, was over from the get-go. Matter of fact, it was over from the moment Grenier took the time to make the idiotic mistake of trying to sing "O Canada" (and this is what made it an idiotic mistake) whilst Batista was already in the ring, since he had come out first! Decapitation to Conway, and a spine buster to Grenier, right on top of him. Both were pinned at once. Flair was supporting Batista the entire match. As Batista celebrated, he saw the Quebec flags and remembered his promise. Since tonight was a night which connected the name Evolution with the phrase "up your ass", he stuck one of the flags straight up a La Resistance ass! (to spare somebody's fan base, I'm not talking) Flair said that was impressive, and Trips said it was his turn to do something impressive.
And then… Muhammad Hassan, another mood killer. And he and Daivari are not even funny. Muhammad was facing Val Venis to qualify for the Royal Rumble. After Lilian Garcia introduced Venis second, Daivari took her microphone and chased her out with his Iranian crap, infuriating the lady-loving Big Valbowski, who was distracted by the conduct. Muhammad Hassan won with that facebuster of his, but Daivari is busy talking all match long. 30 English, 70 Iranian Crap. So I can't even go into details, he's just that annoying. Hassan then held Venis in that Camel Clutch move so Daivari could talk trash to him, and in both times Hassan's music killed, JR and King thought about the awful circumstance that it would be for WWE if only Hassan went on to win the Royal Rumble.
We go to Evolution, somehow a happier deal. Trips was coming back to the locker room. When he did so, he announced that Evolution did need to cover all its bases, and Batista was absolutely right. So, he reached Bischoff, and there was one spot left in the Royal Rumble. He'd convinced Bischoff to give it to Ric Flair, who went on to question the champ because all the attention is supposed to be about Randy Orton. Trips pointed out that Flair was at #30, and that if Batista were to somehow get eliminated, Flair would carry the torch for Evolution at WrestleMania.
In the ring was Maven, who said Bischoff allowed him to challenge anyone already qualified for the Royal Rumble to take their place. As he continued to punk out the Royal Rumble locker room, Kane appeared, and Maven saw that he was injured yet still tried to negotiate his way out of this. But, when Gene Snitsky came out in greater-battered condition, there was no chance. There was a triple threat match, and if Maven could beat either guy, that's who he'd replace. Unfortunately, his coward strategems didn't work, and the Virgin Opportunist (he's from Virginia, remember) got a Chokeslam to Hell from Kane, who covered him and hatched the ring fire with one arm!
We find out that Steve Austin has agreed to a three-picture deal with WWE films, and that's what he's talking about in a press conference and some talk show appearance with him and Vince McMahon. The Smackdown table announcers show its card, and note that the only two brand split Royal Rumbles (the past two) were won by Smackdown Superstars, so Raw's got some catching up to do. Jerry Lawler goes on to remind Tazz and Michael Cole that the last Smackdown Superstar who won, Chris Benoit, showed everyone what he thought of Smackdown and used his Winner's Option to leave for Raw and eventually become the World Heavyweight Champion by making Triple H tap out at WrestleMania XX, something that - if I correctly remember that final Smackdown point of Benoit's history - he could have never equaled with Smackdown's WWE Heavyweight Title.
Todd Grisham is standing by with Edge, and he takes us back to last week's awesome attack on Shawn Michaels, showing it and stating that some people would say Edge has been bitter since Taboo Tuesday. He told Todd to shut up, saying that he did change, but he became a realist. He feels the people don't appreciate that he's doing this here even after having missed two WrestleManias (thanks to the original Team Angle) with a broken neck that he suffered before No Way Out 2003. But that all could change, because on Sunday, he could win an opportunity to main event WrestleMania for a Heavyweight Championship on the night in which he beats Shawn Michaels, and nobody's going to stop him, whether it's Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Batista, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Kane, or anybody else. He said that with an angry confidence. Randy Orton was seen coming out for the match against Ric Flair.
In the midst of the match, Randy Orton was tripped by Triple H, and the Game let Batista unwittingly take the fall and get ejected by the referee. The match eventually continued competitively, then went on that usual gaming imbalance, because when the referee got knocked down as always seems to happen in an Evolution main match, Trips helped Flair in an attempt to destroy Orton's knee before the Royal Rumble. The plan eventually came to the art of backfiring, as Orton ended up pinning Flair with an RKO and holding that World Championship high in the air as if it was his own again.
We start the chapter with the Chris Team.
"What an idiot, man," Jericho made the first comment. "I'm talking about Edge. I can't believe he thinks Michaels has been screwing him out of the World Heavyweight Title. What kind of crap is that?"
"I gotta admit, though. Michaels super-kicked him, and that's the only reason you got that Lion Tamer on him," Benoit responded to his blond-haired comrade.
"But didn't he Spear Shawn Michaels in that match before the incident? Did you suddenly forget about that?" Jericho pointed out.
"Referees are supposed to officiate. He kicked the guy," Benoit said.
"So you're defending Edge?" Jericho asked.
"No, I'm just saying Michaels isn't any more worthy of a defense," Benoit answered.
"Excuse me, but am I hearing some things being said about me that shouold be questionable coming from one of the guys I teamed up with tonight?" Shawn Michaels himself suddenly cuts into the conversation.
"What? I'm simply speaking my mind here, HBK," Benoit responded to the Showstoppper's intervention.
"Well, then. I can't stop you from doing that. Besides, you're a Canadian. And most Canadians seem to have this idea that I screwed Bret Hart and I deserve all the hate in the world for it," Michaels answered.
"Michaels, why the hell did you have to go there?" Jericho immediately noted. "You know damn well that I can't stand talking about what you did at November of 1997. I'm a loyal Canadian man, and Canada hates you for the events of that Survivor Series. I try to respect you beyond that, but stop bringing it up! Do you want me in your face?"
"To be honest with you, Chris, I've still got a little pent up frustration left over from our little six-man tag team encounter tonight. So, if you don't mind, I think I'll be happy to take a good part of it out on you," Michaels warned the Highlight of the Night.
"Do you remember, before WrestleMania XIX, what I told you about why I stopped wanting to become the next Shawn Michaels?" Jericho suddenly recalled. Michaels was clueless.
"What is it, because you felt that a man who pulled a supreme one over on a hero of your country didn't deserve to be your role model?" Shawn retorted obliviously.
"No, that has nothing to do with it! I didn't stop trying to emulate you because you screwed Bret Hart! I stopped trying to be the next Shawn Michaels because I knew that instead, I could be the first Chris Jericho!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Kids, control yourselves a little bit here. I mean, come on. Chris, you look like you're about to kill somebody," Edge abruptly came into the conversation. What an inopportune time, huh?
"Yeah, thanks for your analysis, Toronto Sun Boy," Jericho commented.
"What do you think? I'm backing up this piece of crap?" Edge asked Jericho in reference to Shawn Michaels, who has a younger relative in Total Nonstop Action.
"Edge, get over yourself. I did not screw you!" Michaels yelled in Edge's ear. "The people voted for me at Taboo Tuesday because they wanted to see me. I gave you that Sweet Chin Music in the elimination chamber because you Speared me!"
"And how did I Spear you, huh? How did I Spear you?" Edge spat back at Michaels.
"You know damn well you did, so stop activating your little psycho Canadian defense mechanisms on me," Shawn responded to the Artist of Awesomeness.
"You're a joke, Michaels. You are a joke. The answer to my question is by a complete accident!" Edge immediately yelled to the Showstopper.
"Then what was with that Con-chair'to last week between you and Christian?" Michaels asked Edge.
"Added retribution," Edge simply explained.
"You've gotta be joking," Michaels made his comment.
Elsewhere, we had a conversation taking place between William Regal and Val Venis, who are about to remember a partner in a World Tag Team Championship reign that one of them had to let the other take over.
"So, what was it like teaming up with Lance?" William asked Val.
"Oh, it was great. I got to explore my diplomacy side a little bit more. And, man, did I like teaming up with Eric Bischoff. You know, being at the top of the world, imposing any decision you want, knowing that you could do anything in the world without any objections that actually matter," Val recalled. "I doubt Coach is using these privileges either my way or the right way quite as much as he should."
"I'm talking about Lance Storm here for one second, because before my little stomach virus, I used to be Tag Team Championship partners with him," William said. "Wasn't he cool to actually hang around in the back?"
"Yeah, he was. One time, I remember us going back to the hotel after we defended our Tag Team Titles. But I told him to go ahead by himself since I still had office duty with Bischoff for the show, and I was going to try to pick up a girl along the way," Val told of history.
"Well, what happened?" Regal said.
"I found one, and as soon as I brought her into the room, he stood up and stopped reading the Raw magazine. She talked to the two of us, and he was standing there cool like he didn't care. But get this: when she finally got all over me, he tried to get a peek up her skirt," the Big Valbowski said remembering an incide
"Ha ha. You've got to be kidding me, he's just as naughty as I am! I wonder if he was born that way, though, like me," Regal mentioned.
"Yeah, but do you remember what happened before? Back when Molly had her hair, when we were both gone, and he was tired of bring boring?" Venis said.
"You mean to be talking about that moment when he had that face paint on him like Goldust, and he started talking to Molly in electrified, but it made some sexual reference and she slapped him square in the face?" Regal asked.
"Yeah, he was like, 'Goldy, it didn't work'," Val said, continuing that certain little flashback.
"But it did. You're not boring," Regal finished, sending the two of them into a laughter. Walking by them and holding their own conversation are Ric Flair and Triple H, suits and all.
"Listen to this one, Champ. Triple H, the World Heavyweight Champion, is in the middle of the club. The girls are lookin' for him, and he's lookin' for them. Now, alongside the Game is the legendary Nature Boy, Ric Flair, legendary both in the ring and in the sack. What this does is it forces people to play the Evolution music, and it causes a mass riot of WWE fan girl divas to come rollin' all over us, whatever the hell they're in, Trips. Whoo!" Ric boasted about the obvious near future.
"I appreciate the support here, Nache, but that's not what's gonna cut it. The WWE needs to realize my greatness outside the ring, which is why Stacy and Candace came into the equation earlier tonight. Besides, I know that this has got to be skinning in Randy Orton's mind. I mean, come on! Those are his girlfriends, for crying out loud! Oh, speaking of which, there's 'the great Captain Charisma', Christian. Hey, Christian! Come here a sec!" Trips eventually called to the Captain, who got up from his seat in the hallway and walked over to the Game and the Dirtiest Player in the Business.
"What the hell do you want?" Christian demanded Trips get this over with.
"Hey, don't come over here with that kinda tone to the champ, okay? What the hell was the big idea of gettin' in our way last week? We were making a point to Hurricane that I'm the only NC wrestler not to be a loser!" Flair questioned Christian.
"First of all, shut up. You are a loser. Second of all, you have no real charisma. You only get anything that looks like it by molesting divas. Thirdly, Helmsley, Lita is not a slut. If I wasn't right there to restrain Edge, or if Kane had also heard that, you probably wouldn't even be here tonight," Christian countered. "Now, back to my original question: what the hell do you want?"
"First of all, who do you think is the hottest girl we have here? Secondly, where can we find your little boy Tomko?" Trips asked Captain Charisma.
"The hottest girl here, I'd have to say, probably Maria," Christian answered the question.
"Oh, and Tomko's that way," he finished, pointing in Triple H's forward direction.
"Thanks a lot, chump," Trips said, shoving Christian's head back as he walked past him. It took all of the Peep Man's composure not to whack Trips with that Unprettier right now.
"He says it's Maria, eh?" Flair said, in a sort of evil manner.
"Perfect. She's in skirt tonight," Trips mentioned. "Hey, Tomko!"
"What happened?" Tyson yelled, noticing the Game coming his way.
"Hey, we just had a talk with your boss Christian. Had a good bit of banter, but what the hell. It's cool. By the way, who do you think is the hottest girl on Raw?" Trips asked Tomko.
"Victoria," Tomko stated a blunt opinion. "Yeah, I'd say she's the hottest one here."
"Really? Well, thanks a lot. That concludes our little survey,"
"Little survey? How many people did you ask?" Tyson requested the information.
"Uh, 10," Flair tentatively answered, backing off from Tomko. Trips followed suit. As they walked away, Christian came to the Problem Solver, who says the following:
"I don't trust them. Do you see what happened to Candie and Stace?"
With that, they look at each other and immediately realize something.
"Oh, crap!" Christian panicked, and the two of them immediately ran frantically, trying to find somebody that can help them out. Luckily, they run into the Artist of Awesomeness, Edge, down the hall, as he is finished with his little banter against Shawn Michaels.
"What the hell happened to you guys?" Edge asked them.
"Triple H and Ric Flair, that's what happened," Christian yelled in an obvious panic.
"You're running away from them?" Edge asked again.
"No, man, it's different. They asked us who we thought was the hottest Diva, and we answered. I told him it was Victoria," Tyson revealed the incident.
"And I said Maria," Christian finished.
"So?" Edge said, quizzical about how this could be a big issue.
"Didn't you see what happened earlier tonight with Stacy and Candace?" the King of Tattoo took his question in to Sparks Mineral.
"Crap, Captain! How could you let that happen to them?" Edge immediately chastised Christian.
"Well, I don't know, Sparks, but we've gotta do something!" Christian yelled.
"Hey, Christian. Each of us splits up and finds the girl we clued Triple H on. You, Edge, find and stop Evolution. Got it?" Tyson yelled.
"Let's go!" Chrisitan immediately yelled, splitting for the women's locker room, since both of them actually might be there. Tomko, realizing this, followed suit. Edge went in the direction Christian and Tomko came from so as to find the Evolutioners there. Unfortunately, he went into the parking lot, and they were still somewhere in our hallway.
Christian and Tomko got to the women's room, only to find Candace and Stacy going out and locking the door with their bags.
"Hey, we're looking for Maria and Victoria. We cluelessly clued in Triple H on them. Got any idea where they are?" Christian asked the girls, panting in the middle of the words."
"Uh, start over?" Stacy asked him.
"Maria and Victoria. We told Triple H they were the hottest girls on Raw, and we need to find them before they deal with the same thing as you two!" Tomko yelled.
"Well, I don't know where they are, and if he's after them, I'd rather not care," Stacy answered him.
"Me neither, but Maria might be at the place where you get interviewed or something," Candace said. "And Victoria's always talking to Shawn Michaels, especially about his wife sometimes."
"Thanks for the tip," Christian said. "We've gotta go. See ya."
"Right."
Captain Charisma ran off, the Problem Solver trailing, but they then went into separate directions. At the interview spot, Maria was nowhere to be found. She was being dragged out in the direction further from Christian. Triple H had gotten this information and already found her.
"Hey, let go of me!" Maria yelled.
"William Regal didn't get the job done as far as gettin' in your pants, Maria. But I just realized something: you have no pants. Which makes things real easy, doesn't it, Nache?" Trips said, dragging her. With that, he brushed her against him, and she tried to push off, but Flair got in the way, and Trips' grip was tight. Flair then lifted her so the Game could hold her in his arms, and stopped her from fighting off.
"Maria, resistance is futile. It will only get you injured. Besides, I know you like bein' in Triple H's strong arms. Right?" Flair yelled, practically imposing his will upon her. The talking distracted her from the fact that the hand on Maria's legs was stroking its way inside the, uh… maybe you already know the last word, and I shouldn't say it, so I won't.
"Drop the girl, Helmsley," Edge and Christian both said, one from in front of Triple H, and the other from his side. The harsh reality had come to Flair and Triple H: they'd been found out. Maria took the opportunity to kick her way off, and she wound up falling down and quickly collecting herself. Flair moved to try and stop her, but couldn't really get any motion in when he realized that Edge and Christian were right there and saw him. Maria took the shot to exit past Edge.
"This is conduct exemplary of our World Heavyweight Champion," Edge said, shaking his head. "This is exactly what Jerry Lawler said when Randy Orton stopped you with Stacy earlier tonight."
"A shame I have an ex-girlfriend that hangs out with you," Christian said, referring to Trish. "What, do you molest her like this every day? Or are you just high and angry because she's not here?"
"Christian, you'd better keep your mouth shut," Flair threatened him. "You'd better keep your mouth shut, kid, or else!"
"Or else what? You're gonna beat us to the end of our careers? Do it. You're gonna be stripped of your Championship, and Batista will be open to take it. And I don't think that bodes well for any of us here, does it?" Edge played with Evolution's heads.
"Is this the impact Trish Stratus has on you? Because if it is, I think I'll have Tomko kidnap her and keep her for himself, and show her exactly what you just did to Stacy, Candace, and Maria," Christian taunted the Evolutioners.
"You'll have Tomko do this, you'll have Tomko do that, let me tell you, Christian. You have Tyson Tomko do anything and everything for you," Trips suddenly took advantage of what Christian just said.
"He's one of my loyal Peeps. I stand for him, he stands for me. Same case with Edge, plus I'm one of his Edgeheads because of this, too," Christian countered.
"I'm gettin' the hell outta here. Nobody has to deal with this," Trips said, walkeding away past Edge. Flair tried to follow suit, only to receive the Spear!
"Hey, Hunter! Your old man just got Speared, and if you try to hit on another girl like that again tonight, it's gonna be you taking an Unprettier!" Christian threatened him, taking his attention. The Awesomeness partners then ran away as Trips angrily came to check on his "old man".
