Disclaimer: This is unassociated with any of my other stories, and I do not own any of the members of this story. I simply write this story due to my interest in Raw, especially with the superstars crucially in my dialogue.
Pairings: Some references of Edge/Lita and to Kane/Lita, small shade to RKO/Stacy, no JH pairing in mind as it is now.
Rating Info: This story is rated PG-13.
The Stones of Raw by Prime Time, Legend Champion
Chapter 8: Mr. Copeland Finally Gets His Day
Following 1/31/05 episode of Raw
HP Pavilion in San Jose, California
Triple H, who defended his World Heavyweight Championship successfully last night against Randy Orton, came out with Ric Flair, who made a speech which basically mentioned that he used to be the greatest, no doubt, then Shawn Michaels came about with the word "arguably", and then a man came and destroyed that word. That man is his friend, the greatest champion of all time (according to RF), Triple H. The Game then took the microphone and said, "So much for destiny, Randy Orton. I control destiny in this business." And then, he went on to say that he could talk about his own greatness, but that he'd rather mention the greatness of a dominant man, Batista, winning the Royal Rumble. Batista came out to hear the Game talk all sorts of talk about how honored he is to be defending the World Heavyweight Title against the Big Dave at WrestleMania XXI. He called WrestleMania Evolution's night. All of a sudden, when Batista was speaking, footage of John Bradshaw Layfield being interviewed about Batista came up, and JBL was talking all sorts of crap about how he is a wrestling god, and how Batista is not even in his league. Triple H immediately retaliated, saying that Batista was going to defend the title against Triple H, and the Game is the only god of wrestling around these parts. Two names that the Cerebral Assassin referred to the Cowboy Cheater as are Jack and Foghorn Leghorn. Nobody is going to ruin Evolution's night, according to Trips, who walked to the back, angry, with Evolution.
The next thing you know, after Shelton Benjamin defends his Intercontinental Championship against Simon Dean and comes back to beat the crap out of him for saying the only reason Shelton won is because of the Simon System, Trips is in Eric Bischoff's office, ordering him to tell who came up with the idea of showing the Layfield footage (though Eric didn't know), and saying that if the GM was working on a backstage deal, Triple H would ruin his life. Bischoff commented that he didn't respond well to threats, and then Trips warned him that he is the World Heavyweight Champion, and that he calls the shots. You could hear Eric saying that we'll see about that when Trips leaves the room.
Next, Christy Hemme is in a beautiful outfit, shooting out WrestleMania XXI T-shirts. Edge suddenly comes out, infuriated, talking about how he beat Shawn Michaels, and he lasted the longest in the Rumble match, and he eliminated five men, but he didn't win the Rumble match. He said Christy was trying to rub it in and embarrass him, and that he had no problem embarrassing her. Shawn Michaels suddenly interrupted the festivities by complaining about Kurt Angle coming back after being eliminated to remove Shawn Michaels from the Rumble and put him in an Ankle Lock, having to admit that Edge got one by him, and (first) having to switch microphones in the middle of his TV time, which he just had to do. He then challenged Edge for a rematch, though he knew he had a tag team match with Randy Orton against Ric Flair and Triple H. Edge said no, claiming he was done with Shawn after having beaten him last night. He then reminded Michaels that he promised to shake Edge's hand if the Artist of Awesomeness won the match, which he did. In both mentioned senses of the last three words. Edge, though, made a mistake by starting to tell Shawn to get the hell out of his ring. He got superkicked before the last word could come out.
Later, Candace and Maria talked about JBL's claims that Batista is out of his league, being completely uphauled. They were headed towards the women's locker room, and a very battered-looking Gene Snitsky suddenly showed up from inside, saying he was looking for somebody. Candace tentatively said that the person wasn't in there, and the obviously dazed Snitsky simply said nice shoes and left rather than making them suffer beyond the common fear of looking at him.
Maven defeated The Hurricane in a one on one match. Eric Bischoff was later shown in the office, asking Coach to clarify that he didn't know anything about the tape. Then, behind the Raw General Manager was the Smackdown GM, Theodore Long, who simply boasted about the possibilities of Batista going into a match at WrestleMania for the WWE Title. He said that Batista is Smackdown bound, and that taking him from Raw is his exact intention. But the ironic statement: Long had nothing to do with the footage. Weird, huh? That's why Bischoff didn't believe a word of that part. Anyway, Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit prepared for a match against La Resistance for the World Tag Team Championships. Eventually, a double disqualification kept the title in La Resistance's hands because Mike Chioda lost control of the match.
Footage of a new wrestler showed up for the fourth week in a row, but the first I'm mentioning it in. His name is Chris Masters, and he is the Masterpiece. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari then complained about everyone ganging up on Hassan to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble, saying that that is how America has treated him and all his Arab brothers. He then challenged any American who disagrees with him, and the man turned out to be Sergeant Slaughter himself! The Sarge was bad-mouthed by Daivari in Iranian crap, but didn't take it too much. Hassan eventually forced the G.I. Marine to give up to the Camel Clutch. Benoit and Jericho argued in the back about not seeing their best in that World Tag Team Title match.
Later on, we saw a WrestleMania commercial involving Eugene accidentally punching the lights out of a black woman while talking to her about past WrestleMania events. Inside the Evolution locker room, Trips decided that maybe he should let Batista go to Smackdown and face JBL, because if Trips and Batista were the two Heavyweight Champions, that meant Evolution had control over the entire industry, unlike the Kings of Wrestling at TNA, who promised to do exactly that but no longer exist as a three-man unit.
When we came back again, Eric Bischoff came out and announced that next week's event in Tokyo, Japan was going to have three matches. First, the Chris Team members were facing one another in a submission match. Second, William Regal and hometown boy Tajiri were going to face La Resistance for the World Tag Team Championships, since Regal used his rematch clause. Thirdly, the World Heavyweight Championship of Triple H, just to show him who really calls the shots, will be defended against Sparks Mineral himself, Edge. Then came the entrances. We came back from commercial break to hear the Evolution music, which goes by the titles of "Passing You By" and "Line in the Sand", for the first time in a million years. The match began, basically Batista just being cool, and Evolution having control. But when Orton and Michaels took advantage, Batista eventually was pissed by the Evolution enemies, and then went to get a steel chair and go into the ring, taking the opportunity to try getting into the ring to assault Shawn and Randy. I believe somewhere during the show, Randy was talking to Stacy, who showed concern about him entering the ring tonight. But, he wanted to show Ric Flair and Triple H that he was still the Legend Killer. Anyway, Batista was eventually ejected, and he got angry and blew off steam, almost like Ric Flair's hissy fits. As Batista was walking away, and being waved off by his former best friend, he actually smirked. For what, we don't know.
The match continued on, and Stacy's concerns were proven to be placed in the right place when Ric Flair stopped an assault by Randy Orton on the champ by diving onto him and the referee. Orton eventually countered an assault by giving him an RKO, but the Legend Champion landed on the back of his head, aggravating one of two abnormal conditions that were affecting him. That was a concussion. He had a faraway look in his eyes, and Triple H was going to give him a Pedigree when Michaels all of a sudden issued Sweet Chin Music, and Edge came up to go for the Spear. The Vanilla Scorch Cake wound up hitting Trips, though he clearly aimed for a sidestepping Michaels. However, before HBK shoved him out of the way, he showed a small smirk. Anyway, Orton had enough in him to cover Trips for the pinfall victory, and defeated Evolution. The Heartbreak Kid showed much concern towards the fallen 24-year-old warrior, helping him get up and walk to the back. I'm sure you Edge-and-Orton-lovin' ladies out there have a newfound respect for Shawn Michaels.
Then followed a steel cage match between (again) Kane and Gene Snitsky. Last night, Kane's brother The Undertaker faced off in a Casket Match against "Narcotic Psycho" Gene Snitsky's equally psychotic friend, Heidenreich. Prior to the match, Snitsky and Heidenreich had had a discussion about how neither likes caskets, and how Snitsky has a plan for the match. Snitsky came out and apparently showed off that the plan was a double team assault on the Dead Man. However, when they called for the casket to be opened, Kane suddenly got out of the coffin and sat up, proving that perhaps Undertaker overheard or saw this coming and enlisted the aid of his brother before coming out. Of course, Kane hit both men, took Snitsky out of the picture, and allowed the match to take its one-on-one course, which is Undertaker's victory, and Heidenreich's entombment. Anyway, in the middle of tonight's cage match, Kane suddenly took control and was about to escape when the beautiful yet trashy Trish Stratus came out, neck brace and all, and tried to screw Kane out of the match by closing the door in his face. She failed to remember, however, that her womanly strength was not going to be impactful enough, unlike Batista or Triple H. Uh, they're big powerful men, she's a 125-pound young blonde girl. There's a colossal difference. This led to her almost being Chokeslammed to Hell yet again, as Snitsky booted Kane's skull and got Trish out before that could happen. He then tore off the cage door and intended to use it on Kane, but the plan was executed the other way around, and the nether regions of the Narcotic Psycho were victimized. Kane eventually got the Chokeslam to Hell for a victory. His red lights dominated as the show left air.
A proud man was standing in the hallway, looking up at the ceiling. He knew that in seven days, he would soon have the opportunity to accomplish the greatness of Hulkamania, RKO, and The Rock. His time would come, as in the Orient, he would overcome a villain whose favor the scales were always tipped in when the time was right. The proud man was Adam Copeland, better known to the world of wrestling as Edge.
"Hey, Edge," Tyson Tomko suddenly interrupted his visulalizations from behind.
"Huh? Oh, it's you Tyson, how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that? And Christian, too!" Edge said
"What? Can't a guy have a little fun here?"
"No! You can't have a little fun, because a little fun is just too little! I will beat Triple H next week and become World Heavyweight Champion. And that is why you can have an eternity of fun when we get to Japan!" Edge noted to his comrades.
"I don't know how smart it was of Trish, though. She shows up, and then tries to screw Kane out of that cage match," Tomko mentioned.
"Yes, she showed some great guts, but you've gotta admit, that was an impossible situation," Christian pointed out. "She did get choked and slammed by Kane before for saying crap about Lita."
"And I could Spear her for it right now if I ever so wished it. Hell, your comment would have provoked me to Spear Trish had I still been angry about the Royal Rumble," Edge said.
"Sheesh, do you get angry after every Pay-Per-View?" a familiar female voice interrupted Edge.
"Trish. I should've know you'd butt your head into this conversation," Tyson commented.
"Shut up, Tomko, I used to own you," Trish said. "Anyway, don't fancy yourself with the illusion that you're gonna win the World Title in Tokyo. You will never become the World Heavyweight Champion."
"What the hell are you talking about? I Speared Triple H and caused him to get beat, and I could sure as hell do it again, except this time, I pin him, I'm in good condition, and I become the World Heavyweight Champion! What could you do? Defend your girl title? Not in a million years," Edge commented to Trish, who simply looked shocked, before starting to laugh and grin.
"Now, first of all, Edge, let me bring something to your attention. First of all, at least I'm a Champion, and you're not. In fact, none of you are. Secondly, do you even realize that Triple H could eat you alive? He won against Randy Orton last night, without the company of Evolution," Trish said.
"That's because RKO isn't good enough!" Edge commented.
"Oh, and you are, Mr. Angry Neanderthal? Oh, and why didn't you embarrass Christy Hemme like you said you would? She's the slut of Raw. All she ever does is run around in her underwear," Trish disrespected the newest Raw Diva to earn the job.
"Hey, her match record is 2-1, so watch yourself, kid. Besides, aren't you the one who got showered with mud in public, distracted people for your tag team to win matches back in 2000, and was forced by Vince McMahon to get down on your knees, turn people on, and bark like a dog, whilst Edge and I continued our dynasty of awesomeness?" Christian countered Trish.
"Shut up! I could beat you right now if only I had a knife!" Trish threatened him wildly.
"I would have Speared you before you could even-"
"Before she could even what, Edge?" Triple H suddenly showed up. "Hey, Trishie, how are ya?"
"Just fine, Triple H. I was doing just fine. Until I had to bump into these idiots," Trish proudly said.
"And I wonder how they could have ruined your great time tonight," Ric Flair sarcastized.
"Well, if it isn't Trish's knights in shady armor," Christian acknowledged the two Evolutioners.
"I can kill you. Do you even get what I'm talking about?" Flair cut in.
"What?" Christian asked, curious as to what the Nature Boy could be talking about.
"If I get in that Figure Four leg lock on you, kid, I guarantee you, I will have you tapping out! You're gonna holler, scream, and bleed all night long, kid. And I am a legend at making virgins do this, whether in the ring, or in the sack!" Ric reminded Christian, as well as Edge and Tomko, as apparent because he got in each of their faces in the middle of this shout.
"Gonna admit it, Ric. You've got a great track record," Tyson respected the Dirtiest Player in the Business.
"At least one of you idiots knows enough to say that to the Nature Boy. Who said the big guy was the one only good for following orders?" Trips said, promoting Tomko above the other two in this one moment.
"But, Trips, that doesn't mean I don't know he's kissin' your ass," Tomko made clear to the Game.
"Tomko, who asked you to talk? Better yet, who the hell are you to talk? You kiss Christian's ass every day, and you know it!" Trips countered the Problem Solver.
"I think I've gotta go right about now, but a small word of advice, pal: look out for my Spear," Edge warned Triple H before leaving. Christian and Tomko followed, leaving the Game seething.
"Hey, guys, can you believe him? No, I'm being dead serious! Can you believe that guy? He brings his damn lackeys over here and talks all sorts of crap to us, and then he thinks that he is great, that he will become the World Heavyweight Champion next week on Raw. He's never wrestled for that World Title before, and I've held it ten times!" Trips then proceeded to rant and rave.
"Hey, hey, champ! Calm down!" Flair attempted to soothe him.
"Trips, just slow down a little bit," Trish recommended.
"Calm down? Slow down? Is that anything to say to me? I am angry right now! Edge thinks he can slam us in the face after he knows damn well he Speared me to screw me out of that match!"
"Hey, shut up!" Batista screamed to the Champion, appearing unexpectedly. This froze Triple H, as he was just told to shut up by a member of Evolution.
"Why the hell would you want me to shut up?" Trips demanded Batista's response.
"Because with every word, you're sounding less like Hunter Hearst Helmsley and more like Adam Copeland," Batista surely but painfully responded. Trips looked at Batista with an angry frown.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, champ, calm down. I think Batista might just be right here. You're Triple H, the World Heavyweight Champion. You can stand through anything because you are the Game! You're the ultimate god in this business. It's like you said before, that sign that said 'Triple H Is God' might as well be true, you're just that damn good in this business that you might as well be!" Flair sedated the Champion. "Your name is Hunter Hearst Helmsley. You are Triple H, the leader of the former Degeneration X, the McMahon-Helmsley Faction of 2000, and now Evolution, the unit that - because you're the World's Champion and Batista here can go to Smackdown and become the WWE Champion if he so decides it to be - can control this business! You have won the World Heavyweight Championship ten times, and the only man to have ever done that as many times is me! And I did it sixteen times, champ! But because your days are harder and more competitive, ten in your time could equal twenty in my time. You are the greatest Heavyweight Champion of all time, Triple H. Something that punks like Edge and Randy Orton and Christian will never be. So, why don't you stop complaining about an idiot like Edge and start gettin' back to bein' the living legend that makes the ladies scream when and wherever they see you?"
"Heh. You make a perfect promotion agent, Nache. And yes, I am the greatest of all time," Trips responded with a smirk on his face. "Is Evolution ready to make a splash at the nearest nightclub?"
In the meantime, there was Shawn Michaels, standing by with Stacy Keibler in the medical room, where Randy Orton was being checked over by nurses.
"Stace, he's a warrior. You picked a good man to love," Shawn acknowledged the facts.
"Thanks, Shawn. It's awfully sportsmanlike of you to say that, though," Stacy recognized.
"Hey. If you think I plan on takin' your heart and breakin' it, I could've easily done that if I wanted to. Quote my former best friend, unfortunately, 'I am that damn good.' But first of all, I know what respect is like, and I cherish it more than objectification. Secondly, he's your man, and like I said before, he's a warrior. Thirdly, I have a wife at home, missy," Shawn said in a sort of showman's manner.
"My man? I just recently started talking to him," Stacy defended herself.
"Hey, nobody knows romance like somebody who heartbreaks for a living," Michaels explained.
"Believe what you will, Shawn. He's just my friend."
"For now. But I know you love him."
"No, you don't."
"Believe me."
Elsewhere, there was a discussion between Christy Hemme, Candace Michelle, and Maria Kanellis.
"Chris, are you sure you're okay? I mean, Edge did come in your face and say he had no problem embarrassing you," Maris asked Christy. "He was seriously about to hurt you."
"Oh, that's just him venting out frustration. It's only dangerous for the moment," Christy soothed her friends' concerned. "I just wonder how Eugene is doing at home, especially after what we heard. You know, that William Regal and Tajiri are going for La Resistance's World Tag Team Titles."
"I'm sure he's ecstatic. We don't have that to worry about," Candace said. "But can you believe Hunter?"
"Oh, the skirt thing last week. He tried me, too. But then Edge and Christian showed up like the awesome tag team they are and, well… you know," Maria said.
"Saved you?" Christy guessed the finish to that sentence.
"Yeah," Maria confirmed the correct conclusion.
"I just don't understand how they hate Shawn Michaels so much," Candace said.
"Hey, ladies. It doesn't matter how much Edge and Christian love you guys and hate Shawn Michaels," Maven suddenly interrupted their conversation.
"Huh? Oh, Maven. Well, why is that?" Christy asked him.
"Because you're looking at a man who should be the Intercontinental Champion on his way to ascending to the World Heavyweight Title. Unfortunately, Eric Bischoff hasn't given me enough respect to recognize that fact," Maven complained, as would be guessed.
"I see you're in a complaining mood tonight," Christy noted about Maven.
"No, I'm not. As a matter of fact, at this point in time, I don't care so much about what I just said as I do about admiring the beauty in front of me right now. You three, unlike what Simon Dean thinks, are awesome, both on the inside, and out. So, I'm confident that you'll allow me to take the three of you out tonight, and whether I take Edge and Christian along on this ride is, of course, your decision," Maven offered the rookie Divas.
"Well, Maven, I'm sorry. But, we'll have to decline that offer. You see, we do want to go out, and a triple date with you, Edge, and Christian would be a great idea, but unfortunately, I think they shouldn't be bothered on that term, since they both have run out of active girlfriends in such a short period of time," Maria pointed out to the Virgin Opportunist, a nickname that is appropriate for this occasion and for something other than this referring to Maven.
"Yeah, and besides, I don't think we'd like to take our chances with all three of us being with you. I mean, what if you start getting all… Evolution on us, you know?"
"I know exactly what you mean, and I assure you, I will find-"
"Find another two dates for these lovely ladies? Well, half of your job is complete," Val Venis said, suddenly appearing and causing Maven to stare at him.
"And the other half is right here," Shelton Benjamin interrupted the proceedings, once again prompting Maven to glance unfavorably towards a new entry within the conversation. As soon as he looked at the ladies, however, and saw their favoring expressions, he decided the following:
"Not exactly my favorite comrades to take beautiful girls out on a triple date, but I suppose for once, these two will do," Maven confirmed, much to the relief or elation of everyone in the area. The only trouble: who's with who? Ah, well. That would figure itself out soon enough, and besides; the main concern of everyone here is having a lot of fun.
