Tribulation of Honesty – Part 6

Where do you go when you're all alone in your bed?
Do you cry in your sleep cos it's better unsaid?
Have you forgotten your past? because that's how it seems
Is it too hard to think? so you edit your dreams
And play them back again and again
' These Dreams', Robbie Williams

Lexie knew that Archie wasn't coming home tonight. He hadn't called, but she just knew. Her husband didn't want to be with her right now.
Teena had offered to stay, but eventually Lexie had shooed her away at 2am.
She walked up the stairs slowly and checked in on Melanie. She was asleep but Lexie still felt the need to sit by her. Quietly she tip-toed in and sat down by the bed, wordlessly she reached out and ran her hand down her daughter's face. Melanie stirred but didn't wake; Lexie bit her lip and lightly stroked her dark hair.
She sat for a few more minutes before reluctantly standing and walking back to her own empty room. Half-heartedly she changed into her nightie and climbed in between the sheets. For a while she just laid there, staring at the ceiling, before finally she rolled over and reached for the phone. On autopilot she typed in Archie's mobile phone number and listened to it ring
" Hello?" a voice eventually murmured
" Hi Arch" Lexie responded, clearing her throat " Are you okay?"
" Mmmmm" Archie answered, " Lex I'm fine."
" Are you at Stevie's?"
" Yeah" he confirmed
" Okay. I was just checking" Lexie added
" I know Lex, it's okay." Archie reassured, " Get some sleep."
" Okay" Lexie whispered, " Good night, I love you."
She heard him sigh
" I love you too Lex. You know that deep down don't you?"
" Okay" Lexie echoed, still unsure
" I'm tired Lex, and worn out." Archie concluded, " I'll see you later okay?"
" Okay" Lexie repeated for the third time, knowing in her heart that he had already hung up.

If you stop for a little while
You'll find me standing by
Over here, at the side of your life
I'd like to hold you still
Remind you of all you've missed
If you have a little time, if you have a little time that is….
'Do you have a little time', Dido


The next morning Lexie woke up to Archie rummaging through the wardrobe, slowly she wiped the sleep from her eyes and took him in
" Hey"
He turned quickly
" Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" he commented, sounding generally apologetic
" It's okay. I have to start getting Mel ready for school soon anyway." Lexie yawned
" She'd downstairs watching cartoons" Archie announced, " I made her some breakfast and packed her lunch."
Lexie stared at him, uncertain of how to respond, finally she just settled for
" Thankyou."
He shut the wardrobe door and sighed, coming to sit beside her on the bed
" How are you feeling?"
" Better now you're here." Lexie tested
" Sorry I didn't come home last night." Archie explained, " I needed some space"
Lexie nodded sadly and reached out to take his hand in hers,
" Will you listen to what I have to say?" she asked
Finally after a deliberation that seemed like an eternity Archie nodded and moved closer to her, taking up his spot on their bed.
" Arch, I was lonely, I was upset and I was confused. It didn't come to anything, well not really. He reminded me of you, and I missed you so much. I'm so sorry honey, I really am. I only told you now because I really do want us to be honest with each other- you're my husband. I want you to know these things, even if they are my faults."
Archie nodded and stared at her for a bit, her words really didn't make him feel that much better. But a part of him missed her terribly and wanted to just forget it had ever happened.
He reached out subconsciously and placed his hand on her stomach, sometimes he forgot that there was more to lose then just each other. There was Melanie and their unborn child to consider.
Suddenly Lexie's smile dropped as she stared at his hand
" Arch?" She questioned
" Yeah" Archie answered
" Where's your wedding ring?"
Archie froze and looked at his hand, it was true. The ring that had barely left his hand since the day he had married Lexie wasn't there
" Archie?" Lexie questioned, her gaze going right through him
" I must have taken it off somewhere" Archie rationalised
" Is that the way you feel?" Lexie asked near tears, " You don't want to be married to me anymore?"
" No! No" Archie saved, amazed at how fast he actually did respond to the accusation
Lexie watched him intently, tears still streaming form her eyes
" Lexie, come on don't get too stressed, it's not good for your condition."
" My condition? My condition! Blow my condition Archie, you aren't wearing your wedding ring, and I bet you don't even know where it is"
" I'm sure it's just at the restaurant, I probably took it off when I was cooking, or washing up." Archie defended
" You better be right Archie MacDonald"
Archie stood up, walking from the room
" Don't make this about me Lex, because it's not. I'm going to drop Mel at school, I'll see you at work."
" Fine!" Lexie yelled
He sent her a look before closing the door and leaving her alone.

Lexie rolled her eyes and walked over to the wardrobe to find some clothing, she hadn't started showing too much yet and therefore could still fit into a lot of her old clothes if she tried hard enough. But she could tell the difference, and she didn't want to right now.
She wanted to be able to fit perfectly into her old clothes; she wanted to look and feel attractive and charming. She wanted to feel everything she wasn't feeling right now.
In the end she produced a pair of black trousers and a red top. Running a brush quickly through her now long brown hair and pulling it up into a pony tail
She examined herself in the mirror, she looked the same, but she felt different. Like a part of her was missing. It was like there was an ache in her chest likened to when someone died. And even though you could be happy for a while and forget, the ache brought you back to reality time and time again.
All of a sudden she wished that she was the one taking her daughter to school, she wanted to see her- she hadn't seen her all morning and she was suddenly amazed at how alone she felt.
Lexie stared at the wedding ring on her own finger; it was the one thing that was tying her to her husband. How could he be so careless with his?
She exhaled deeply and glanced around, the room was a mess. Glancing at her watch she realised that she didn't really have to be at the restaurant for a few more hours.
Her years of housekeeping suddenly kicked in- that's what she would do to take her mind off things. Clean, and clean well.

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. Lamartine