Author's Note : new Chapter !

Cranky Puss : Here you go ! Brand new chapter.

Hope this makes at least someone laugh.

In other news: LONG LIVE BLAISE ZABINI! He made it! He's got his own name in the character list! YAAAY!

Yes- you guess it right… I will soon begin a Blaise/Hermione fic. YES!


Let us get some things straight.

No matter how much I complain about Hermione, I have to admit that she is a person with a golden heart. She's adorable and is ready to do anything in her power to help you if she's your friend.

. Oliver you just did something bad and I might find out sooner or later, right?

Hermione Jane Granger has a wonderful sense of style, a great musical talent, is good in bed, has beautiful hair, a dashing smile, superb friends and marvellous band mates, an adorable cat and a very stylish room.

You've done something bad and someone is going to tell it to me….

I actually appreciate her so much, I'll promise to clean up and do the laundry more often.

OLIVER! TELL ME WHATS WRONG OR I'LL PUT A CHARM ON YOUR UNDERPANTS TO MAKE THEM THREE SIZES TIGHTER!

Eeh…

She's a total pain in the arse. At least when you don't know her well.

I AM A WHAT?

The moving in with Hermione was hell.

Well not the first half an hour if it. Ok- the first half day was okay. We shockingly enough, barely knowing each other, accepted to live together.

Or rather, Hermione watched me with knifes in her eyes, then grabbed me by the hair and yanked me away from the living room to the kitchen.

I should have guessed she needed some serious medical treatment; but I remember thinking she was funny. I even though it might be even amusing to eventually cohabit with her (a thing I regretted later to even consider it).

I still remember the exact words she told me:

"-Listen. I need this apartment. You obviously need an apartment too. We have bought the same apartment at the same time. You know what it means?"

"- We have to cooperate?"

"- No, find those mummies, and fight to know whose going to have the apartment. The first one to die looses."

Hehe… That still is accurate. The whole "fight-until-death"- thing. You up to it?

No. Definitely not.

Why that? Afraid of getting your arse kicked? Afraid of wetting your new robe?

Actually yes. I am afraid of you. You are bloody strong for such a short little girl.

Ok, get ready for some serious arse kicking. I am not small!

Yeah- just vertically challenged.

OWWW! THAT HURT YOU BITC-! FEMALE DOG! WICKED WITCH!

You're saying it as if it would be a bad thing.

… And that's my favourite body part!

Oh- I thought your penis was.

Like said, I should have already then realised she was insane.

But the warning voice of the inner survivor didn't reach my ears back then. I agreed actually to make a compromise with Hermione and the elderly couple. There is one funny thing with Hermione: she might be really rude to those of her own age, but she respected considerably the people that were over thirty years her senior. Odd combination for someone who tells kids to rebel against authority.

Anyways; as we both came back to the room the two elder people who obviously had been fighting, suddenly turned around and plastered the fakest smile they managed on their faces.

Hermione is surely the best diplomat I know. She didn't choose her right career by becoming a singer in band. She that kind of woman who could make world peace. Or provoke a war. … A second thought, Hermione, never go into politics!

She handled the discussion single handed. She pointed out the problem e had and the possible solutions. The possible solutions were following:

Kick me out and let her have the apartment

Kick me out, main me eventually, sue the elder people and let her have the apartment

Kick me out, maim me, sue the elder people, find out our both addresses, kill us and then take over the apartment.

At this point I was starting to protest. Yet when Hermione directed her speech towards me with her murdering eyes. I nodded and agreed on everything she said (I didn't want to get castrated)

The granny however stoped Hermione after she had talked bossily around for almost an hour.

"- Miss Granger…. I don't think we have to take such desperate measures. There is one thing you haven't taken in consideration: co-habitation."

Hermione stopped talking immediately. She looked at me uncertainly, waiting for me to protest I guess.

"- Yes, the old man continues, you could rent the apartment and live together… For a month or so and see how things works on then."

I was ready to accept anything; I didn't have a place to stay at anymore. I had given up my apartment at the Magical Menagerie quite rudely. I was willing to try it.

Hermione watched rather melancholy outside the window.

"- Do we have a time to consider this?"

"- Well, I'm ready to take the apartment now, Hermione, if you don't mind. Make up your mind now, or I'll claim this place to be mine. I'll give your money back of course. You can even have a little extra cash on it."

Hermione's face changed dramatically. Her eyes widened as her hair seemed to sparkle with electricity.

"- No way I'll let you have this place. We accept to cohabit!"

The papers signed in less than an hour, claiming the flat was now rented to Oliver Wood and Hermione Granger.

We walked out from the apartment slowly together and wordlessly I followed her into a café. We sat down, in front of each other, Hermione's eyebrows knitted.

"- How the hell did it come to this?"

"- I have no idea…"

I was staring at her face, trying to get used to her unusual facial decorations and tattoos. I didn't really realize what had happened during the last past hours. I jst kept on watching Hermione, maybe trying to convince myself it was real and that I have a flat mate.

I flatmate with scary make up and piercings and tattoos. A flatmate I barely knew. Nothing really made sense. Hermione ordered something, I don't really remember what, but I kept looking at her, not blinking once.

And then, just then, Hermione surely irritated by my staring, said the sentence that became legendary between us.

"- Hey! Don't blame me!"

We watched each other in the eyes and suddenly we started laughing and burst out in laughs. This whole situation was so absurd!

Somehow talking came naturally to us after that. We talked for hours, learning to know each other somehow. I realized Hermione was quite interesting and a person filled with paradoxes and contrasts.

And I found out that there exists at least one Quidditch player with a positive IQ.

Later on, I found out more things about her, which made me understand her. Hermione has the oddest of all talents: she was somehow very affectionate underneath her scary appearance. She's like a puppy, all murring and peeing everywhere, yet so cute and adorable.

AOWWW! Not again! Stop kicking me for Christ's sake!

Stop comparing me to animals! You freakin' animal shagger!

Anyways, the whole co-habitation thing didn't seem o be so horrible. Not until I met her friends, family and band mates. And her frightening smoking habit and even more dangerous alter ego.

I even thought Hermione could be my friend.

Ha! You actually thought that? You really did live in your own world!


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