It had been a particularly rough night. Grueling more like it. And a sick toddler on top of everything else wasn't helping. Peyton was frustrated. Medicine was doing little to break Jenny's fever and the child was inconsolable. She had been crying her eyes out for hours and nothing seemed to settled her down. Peyton had rocked her and even sang her favorite songs but all to no avail. Then the clincher had come. As Peyton was holding her and Jake was taking her temperature, it had happened.

"I want Mama!" Jenny wailed.

"Mama's right here", Jake tried to soothe.

"No! Not Mama!"

And the words of a two year old had pierced through Peyton's heart like a hot, searing knife. For almost Jenny's whole life, she had been "Mama" and now that the birth mother was back, it was like she was no longer needed. Fighting back tears, she helped Jake put her down before heading back to the bedroom.

"We finally got her to sleep but who knows how long it's gonna last? I say we try to get some shut eye now and when she wakes, take shifts. That sound cool?"

"Why?" Peyton muttered before she thought. "It's not me she wants anyway."

"Pey, that didn't mean anything…"

"It didn't Jake? Because I think it did. Jenny wanted her mother tonight. She cried for her. Not for me, Jake. Jenny wanted Nikki…"

"Peyton…"

"And I don't think she's the only one."

"Whoa! Where did that come from?"

Peyton sighed.

"I love you, Jake. I love you and Jenny both with all my heart. You know that?"

"We love you, too."

"I know but Nikki is Jenny's mother and like it or not, she's back in the picture. It's what Nikki wanted and what I pushed for so I can't be mad or jealous now. And Nikki…well, she was your first love."

"Was as in past tense. That was a very long time ago. You're my love now, Peyton."

"I know how much she hurt you but I also know how much she meant to you. And you guys will always be bonded because you have a child together. I understand that and I respect it but it's hard to deal with. Much harder than I ever thought. But what's even harder is the way you look at her…"

"Peyton…"

"Jake, I see it. I know you still love her."

He sighed and looked in her eyes. He could never lie to that face.

"As much as I hate to admit it, a part of me will always love Nikki. I can't help it. Whether I want to and even when I'm ready to strangle her, that love will always be there. And yes she was my first and she is the mother of my daughter so that counts for something but Peyton, I'm in love with you now."

"I see it. The way you look at her…the way she looks at you. I feel like there's something there…"

"Are you even listening to me right now? There isn't."

"Are you sure?"

Jake just looked at her.

"Pey, we're both tired. It's been a long day. You're not making any sense and I'm starting to get pissed off. Let's just go to bed and deal with this tomorrow before one of us says something we'll regret later. Please."

"Why can't we deal with it now?"

"Because it's late and I'm exhausted and you're being ridiculous and I don't want to argue. God, Pey! Why are you doing this? Why are you being like this?"

"Okay, fine", she sighed, slipping underneath the covers and turning her back to Jake.

"Can we not go to bed mad, please?"

"I'm not mad, Jake."

Yeah right. She was mad. He knew it and she knew he knew it.

"I just don't want to fight with you and I feel that's exactly where this conversation is leading."

"Jake, I'm not trying to pick a fight either but I feel like there are bigger issues here that we are ignoring and if we don't talk about them or deal with them soon, one day it's just going to blindside us all and then it'll be too late."

"Too late for what?" he asked softly.

Peyton pulled the covers to her chin.

"I don't know", she answered quietly.

"Pey…"

He rolled over, gently touching her arm, silently begging for some sort of resolution between them. Before he could plead any further, the crying began again. It was Jenny.

"I'll get her", he finally sighed when it was evident that the child wasn't about to fall back asleep on her own. "Why don't you get some rest, okay? We'll finish all this up tomorrow, I promise."

Peyton nodded, stiff as board when Jake kissed her cheek before getting up. She wasn't angry with him. Well, part of her was but she was angrier at herself. The entire time she had just been trying to do the right thing. All she wanted was what was best for Jenny and Jake and everybody…even Nikki. In her unselfishness, she had never stopped to think about what was best for her. Now it was all falling apart somehow. Peyton couldn't think about anything else.