Disclaimer: Don't own anything
A/N: Review plz.
Summary: Max tries to get Alec to open up to her about what's bothering him but he pushes her away. Determined to get to the bottom of what's wrong, she pushes back but has she pushed too much?
Pure MA fluff. One-shot
Max, Alec, Sketchy and O.C. were all sitting and drinking beer at Crash, just chatting lightly. For once, Max and Alec weren't fighting which both surprised and brought relief to Sketchy and O.C.. Max was in the middle of teasing Alec about Normal's gladiator dreams involving him and body oil, when her pager beeped. She looked at it.
"It's Logan," she announced, her voice somewhat resentful.
As soon as she mentioned his name, Alec's good mood lowered considerably and his eyes darkened. Alec felt a giant surge of jealousy and anger flow through him, but as soon as the feeling caught up to him, he shook his head. 'Jealous?' he thought. 'Of Logan? Why the hell would I be jealous? What the hell would I be jealous of?'
'Of the fact that Max hurries to his beck and call,' a voice whispered in his head.
'Max? Jealous over Max? The supreme queen of bitchiness who loves to cause me physical abuse? Yeah right. Man, the heat inside this place must be getting to me.'
'Don't fool yourself. You know you want her. Don't deny yourself of the truth. If you insist on fooling anyone, at least don't fool yourself,' the voice said again.
'Ugh, stupid voice. Get out of my head. You have no idea what you're talking about. I DON'T LIKE MAX.'
'Keep telling yourself that. But if you really want her, you need to make your move before some other guy picks her up. She doesn't really love Logan. At least not anymore.'
'Ha. Bullshit. She's still head over heels about the guy. She's always moping about, probably thinking that it's my fault that the virus is still there. In a way, she's kind of right. No wonder she hates me.'
'She doesn't hate you. She could never hate you. Max isn't really the hating type unless they do something REALLY unforgivable.'
'Yeah well, separating her from her loverboy counts as something really unforgivable.'
'Tell her. Tell her how you feel.'
'Right. And how am I supposed to do that? Besides, I don't really think that I should take advice from some random voice inside my head. God, I'm talking to a voice that sounds like me. I'm insane.'
'Ha! So you admit that you like her. You asked how you were supposed to do that. And I resent the whole random voice comment. You're not insane. I sound like you because I am you. In a way… brother.'
'Ben?'
'Maybe. Anyways, tell her how you feel Alec. Before it's too late.'
'How?'
'Mate,' the voice whispered. Alec waited for the voice to say something else but all there was, was silence. The word just hung in the air, drifting. Mate.
He snapped out of his thoughts and saw Max starting to leave to go to Logan's. The anger that was there moments before came rushing back so quickly it stunned him.
'I can't believe she's still holding on to this notion that they could be together,' Alec thought. 'It's impossible. All we do is hurt them. The humans. We don't belong with them. They're not like us. I loved Rachel and look how that turned out. Come on, Max. When are you going to figure it out? Or are you purposely being blind, thinking that you and Logan stand a chance just because you want it to. Love doesn't conquer all, Max. It sucks.'
With that last thought, he stood up, threw on his jacket, and walked out the door without so much of a backwards glance at any of them. As he passed Max, he accidentally pushed her a bit, but didn't realize it as he was so mixed up in his thoughts.
"Hey! Alec, what the hell was that for?" Max yelled.
Alec didn't respond and just kept walking. Max looked after him with an expression of anger turning to worry and concern.
The next few days, Alec stayed quiet and cold towards Max. He always seemed to be deep in thought, lost in his own little world. The many times she tried to talk to him, he pushed her away and told her to leave him alone. That worried her even more because he hadn't put on one of his trademark cocky grins and said the traditional, "I'm always alright". After a while of trying to find out what was wrong and getting no results, she decided enough was enough.
Around 8 o'clock, Max was standing outside Alec's door. She knocked once, twice and no one answered.
"Alec?" she called out.
Alec heard her but made no attempt to get up and open the door. He didn't want to see her. Not until she had come to terms with the truth. That she and Logan just wouldn't work, no matter if she wished upon a start.
'How about you coming to terms with a few things too?' a voice said.
'Great,' Alec thought sarcastically. 'You're back.'
'You know I'm trying to do you a favour. So a welcome with a little more enthusiasm would be appreciated.'
'More enthusiasm? I think I'm going nuts because there's a voice in my head.'
'Just shut up and open the door. Tell her how you feel. Don't push her away.'
"Alec?" he heard Max say again.
'Go away,' he thought to both Max and the voice.
Max stood outside the door, tapping her foot impatiently. She knew he was inside. She could smell him. She knocked one last time then picked the lock and went in.
Alec heard a click then the door swing open.
He sighed and walked up to her.
"Don't you know the meaning of leave me the hell alone?" he asked angrily.
"We need to talk," Max said.
"No, we don't. I'm fine. Just go away," he said.
"But – " Max started but Alec cut her off.
"No Max." At this he exploded and the truth came rushing out, him unable to stop it.
"Do you know how hard it is?" he asked, "To see you and Logan together? To know that you think of me as a screw up? As nothing better than someone to go save every time I mess up? Do you know that it feels like a thousand knives in the chest seeing you trying to be happy with someone you can't possibly be with? Because you can't Max. You and Logan will never work out. Maybe you really love him, or maybe not, I don't know. But what I do know is that we don't belong with them. Humans and transgenics don't mix. We either end up hurting them or they end up hurting us. They don't understand what we are, Max. Maybe they want to but they can't and never will. You have got to stop hiding behind some stupid screen and realize that as much as you might want it, you and roller boy can't be together. He doesn't understand you, doesn't know you. Not like I do. Because I do, Max. I do know you. I know that you fidget and drum your fingers when you're nervous. I know that you crinkle your nose up when there's something you don't like. I know that you huddle yourself up and tuck your legs under you when you're scared. I know you Max, whether you like it or not. And the reason why I notice these things? I'll tell you why. I love you. I fucking love you and it hurts to know that you don't love me back."
During the whole time he spoke, Max's eyes became wider and wider with every confession he made.
'He feels this way about me?' she thought. 'He – he loves me?'
When he was done speaking, a heavy silence fell between them. Then when Max opened her mouth to speak, he shook his head and pushed her out the door.
"I don't want to hear it," he said. "Just go and leave me alone. I don't need your pity or sad eyes."
And with that he slammed the door in her face. He let his back slide down the door and pretended that he didn't hear a woman's cries on the other side.
Max sat on the space needle, thinking about all that Alec said. It was pouring rain and she was soaked to the bone, but she barely noticed it.
"He loves me," she said to herself softly. She looked down at her hands. "No, he loved me. He doesn't anymore."
She watched the lightning light up the sky and listened to the pitter patter of the rain falling and hitting the ground.
"I guess Renfro was right," she said. "I am poison. I destroy, hurt or kill everyone I love."
"You're not poison. You're an angel who tries to help and comfort everyone except yourself. And I love you, past, present and future tense," a voice said, coming up behind her.
She turned around in surprise and smiled when she saw Alec. Before she could say anything though, he sat down beside her and put a finger on her lips to silence her.
"Let me say this first," he said. "I'm sorry I got so mad at you. I never meant to, please forgive me. I know you were only trying to help. It's just so frustrating, but I'm glad I got it out. Because I do love you Maxie, with all my heart. I understand if you don't feel the same way. I just – "
This time it was Max who silenced Alec. "I do. I love you too." Noticing Alec's shocked expression she laughed lightly. "I always have. But the feeling scared me. I guess I never really loved Logan, at least not in that way. Maybe I just thought I did because he was the first person who really knew what I was, and accepted me for it. Or maybe I forced myself to believe I loved him because I wanted a so-called normal life. I don't know. What's normal anyways? I'd rather be myself than something I'm not. What I mean is I love you too. With all my heart," she finished.
'Well, ain't this a happy moment?' the voice said.
'Shut up,' Alec said to the voice in his head, then grinned and did the only thing suitable for the moment. He leaned over and kissed her. It started out gentle then soon became passionate. It was the symbol of a new time, a new life for the both of them. They'd deal with Logan later, right now all that mattered were the two transgenics kissing in the rain.
A/N: So. Did you guys like it? I hope so. Please take the time to review.
