Chapter 2: Broken Dreams

Kikyo continued walking on, with a permit scowl when she passed the crowds, and random people on the sidewalk.She was too busy thinking the world hated her, instead of the other way around. She acted like she was the world's only victim. Like she was the one who had the world on her shoulders more than anyone else in this entire universe. It bothered me how Kikyo was. She envied even her own friend, for something I don't even have, happiness.

Her head stared directly towards the ground, kicking the lonely pop can in anger and frustration until it rolled into the on coming traffic and it disappeared. " Fuck. That no good for nothing Kagome. Always is trying to make me attempt to look on the bright side." Kikyo muttered hatefully, transforming her relaxed hands into comfortable fists. " I thought it was cute the first time she did the cheer up routine on me. But now, she doesn't know when to quit. It's not my fault my life isn't as perfect as hers. That's all she is.. is perfect. There's not a god damn problem in her…I'm just waiting for her life to come crashing down to pieces. Then she'll understand how I didn't enjoy her pity."

Kikyo's violet eyes harshly stared at the bright sun, staring sickly at all the couples holding hands displaying such affection and happiness that made her want to get inside quicker than ever before. It was like a sting to an open wound. She hated happiness, yet she was always surrounded by it. Her hands swiftly grasped the rusty looking key, sliding into the lock praying and begging to get a way from the joyful hell that was surrounding her, and was suffocating her like smoke from a fire. "Kagome..beautiful girl but lost in her surroundings. I wonder if that damn person came already…What could be more exciting than live with a total stranger, and being surrounded by cheerful people?Fuck, I'm sick of it. Mom is capable of taking care of herself, I don't need to play bitch. After all why should I, when she was the one who ruined the whole vacation!"

Kikyo slowly stepped in, kicking off her black combat boots that rolled viciously down the stairs until it smacked against the cement floor. She quickly stepped in, hoping her mother wouldn't be able to hear that she had stepped in at all. She knew, after all her mother would likely bother her to fetch her things, something she was growing tired of.

" Good. She didn't hear me come in." Kikyo thought with a wild smile on her face, slowly letting her feet touch the nice green rug and heading past the new open room that had been reserved for the new coming guest.

That room had been at one time, her old guest room but instead she placed all her values using it as her own junk room. But, she had to remove all her things just for some stupid stranger that was probably only going to stay for a short period of time until her mother fully healed. It was completely empty, and so plain. The wallpaper had been ripped off completely. The room looked like an untouched bedroom in a hotel; anyone could guess that someone else other than a family member would be living there. There was still left over garbage on the ground, and the whole house had completely been wound out of shape ever since her mother's accident. Kikyo completely felt like Cinderella, and she hated it. She hated every moment of it. " This room looks too neat. A stranger doesn't deserve to live here…nicely like the rest of us. I hope I give him a hard time…" Kikyo thought staring at the walls with such hate, grabbing the tools that were at her side denting nice holes in the walls. Completely destroying things, until she was completely satisfied.

" Kikyo.. Please come here…." Her mother's weak voice managed to ring inside her head, leaving her to drop the tool wrenched in her hands like a weapon, grasping her hair insanely wishing her mother would just leave her alone, and let her do whatever she wanted without looking after someone else twenty-four seven.

She stepped quietly one foot at a time, down the dark narrow hallway towards the open room that had light scent of flowers and perfume that could have only been her mother's room.

Kikyo's hands lightly touched the inside of the door, standing in the doorway glaring at her with so much hate, it was basically sketched all over her. Kikyo didn't feel she had stepped into a bedroom, she felt like she just stepped into a part of the hospital, that gave her back memories of her mother in the gowns with all the air pumps and the wires across her body smothering her to death.When Kikyo had fled out of there with streaming tears, and while Kagome had tried to drag her in just to see and comfort her mother. She hated hospitals, and not because people were sick or already on their death bed. She truly hated it because her father.

" Mommy.. why are we in the hospital? And where's daddy?" Kikyo's voice actually had some grace and a touch of concern in her young voice. She grasped on to her mother's hand tightly, like a bond that couldn't be broken. Kikyo never went that far without her, she always would jump around with cheer and run back, dragging her mother along to show her the sights or to show her what she truly loved and enjoyed. Kikyo danced around in her small blue frilly dress, spinning around happily a time where she actually had a true smile on her face; a smile her mother would never see anymore. Her mother grasped on to her hand tighter embracing the fact, what they were going to be seeing wasn't exactly their father. Her mother didn't know what really hurt her. The fact her daughter was asking why they were in the hospital? Or the question where's daddy?" She didn't know which one really grasped a hold of her heart, but either way it tugged at her and made her on the verge of a break down.

Kikyo noticed this place wasn't shining with happiness, it was completely dull and she watched random people from the hospital laying in beds coughing, or wheeled in wheel chairs noticing everything wrong with them. Kikyo's dark violet eyes lit up with concern, dancing around ahead while her mother ran after her in a panic. "Kikyo! Wait, please! Stay here!"

Kikyo didn't see any harm of running off ahead, she wanted to see her father badly knowing she had been held back so long from seeing him. It had been weeks, until they finally had the time to go see him, together. Kikyo had flowers grasped in her hands and balloons, running along with them as the balloons bounced and trailed behind. " Mommy, don't worry! I'll tell daddy you're here!" Her ran with all her might down the long white hallway, using all her energy just to fly into his room, and fly into his arms. She had completely tuned out her mother's voice of concern, she just continuing running until she had reached her father's room.

" Kikyo please listen to me! Stay there!" Her mother ran quick enough to grasp her by the hand, that pulled her away from the vision she saw of her father laying in the bed peacefully, in the bright white room she adored. She scooped her up into her arms before she could even set foot into that small room of his. " Kikyo.. were going home…" Her mother was already trying to contain her tears, so Kikyo wouldn't have to worry herself. Her daughter had the look of hate written on her face, the first time a sweet young girl like her could ever make or express that emotion.

" Mommy, let me go! I want to see daddy! Now! Let go!" Kikyo constantly kicked and screamed, fighting off her mother wanting to see her dad, and yet her mother was just trying to be protective. "No were going home! Kikyo. Don't fight with me. We'll go home and have candy..ice cream.. anything you want Kikyo my treat!" She cared too much for Kikyo to get hurt, and she thought it would be best to just take her home and that would be the end of it, but Kikyo fought until she felt her break through and hit the ground.

Kikyo finally continued to run the short distance, hearing her mother screaming ' please don't!' with tears streaming down her soften red cheeks, but that wasn't enough for her to completely stop in her tracks until she had finally stepped into the room.

" Daddy! I'm here! I missed you so much! I brought you flowers and balloons and everything!" Kikyo jumped for joy, placing the balloons the side of the bed rail, tying tightly until they floated right beside him, trying to escape up to the ceiling. Her hands lightly placed the small flowers in the vase, cheerfully mumbling on to her father as though he was listening to her. " I hope you like them! I picked them out! Me and mommy missed you daddy! I wish you could come home with us! Oh ya.. not until your better. Your better now right?… Right?" Kikyo jumped hysterically with happiness and life, waiting to hear her father's voice, waiting for him to grasp her in his arms, but yet.. nothing.

Kikyo stopped dead in her tracks, when she realized he hadn't moved at all. He was motionless on the bed, with the blankets tucked over him… the way he had looked when he had been sleeping. Kikyo waited for a moment for a response, and just crawled onto the bed where his one arm laid perfectly on the stretch of the bed. " Daddy…wake up…" She whispered sweetly in his ears, whispering and continued whispering, but yet after two minutes she still had her patience's. Her mother stood by the doorway, with a Kleenex wrenched in her hand ready to tell her to go, but for some reason she couldn't get herself to move, or to get herself to say anything. She just watched her daughter being as sweet as ever, whispering in her father's ear waiting for him to awake. It killed her inside. But yet, she couldn't stop it from happening.

" Daddy! Come on!" She yelled delightfully, rolling him for abit, while he rocked back and forth motionless back into the same position while Kikyo just grinned and shook her head. " He's probably tired.." Kikyo thought to herself fluffing the pillow placing underneath his head, and snuggling herself underneath his one arm, that gently covered her one side like a blanket. Kikyo sweetly turned to his rough looking face, with the black stubble and his wavy black hair in every direction. " Daddy I…love you…"

She sweetly closed her eyes, while her mother was already whining and already the tears down on her face, and they wouldn't stop. She had only been asleep for five minutes underneath his arm, and she was already killing herself just by watching it more and more. Before her mother could even mouthed the word ' let's go' Kikyo looked at her father long enough, to notice it wasn't a deep sleep. She could already sense something was wrong.

" Mommy.. why isn't daddy waking up? Daddy! Wake up!" Kikyo was begging, trying everything an eight year old could to get her father awake. Tears were already forming, and her mother quickly rushed into and grasped her while her arms, grasped a hold of her father for dear life. " No mommy! I'm not going! I'm staying here with him!"

The hardest thing her mother had to do, was had to rip her away from her father and walk out of there without even saying one word. Kikyo only looked at him before as he was sleeping..he was.. just he would never wake up again.It killed her to see her daughter laying there thinking he was just sleeping, whispering she loved him, and yet she expected him to say it back like always. It was like watching a sorrowful story unfolding right before her eyes, and her heart was breaking and bleeding for her.. from the time she placed herself underneath his arm to now. It was the worst thing for a mother to see or feel.. to know he was gone, and she still believed he was the same as always.

" Kikyo no! Were going home..I'm sorry…!" Kikyo's hands grasped on for dear life, until her mother actually had the strength to rip her little girl right off her father. She bundled up Kikyo hearing her crying, with her arms right out trying to reach for her father, yet he was too far away. Kikyo's cries haunted her…She didn't want to rip away from her father, but he was gone.. It killed her the most to be the monster, and having to listen to her cry, yet knowing she'd never be able to comfort her.

" Mommy… I hate you!" Kikyo screamed, that made her mother have tears streaming down her cheeks even faster, and harder. To hear her eight year old, who was sweet and full of life now say those words that forever rang inside of her. Her mother placed her over his shoulder, grasping her tightly for dear life, knowing that hurt more than anything. " I love you..I always will…"

-

Kikyo just remembered the hospital surroundings, it was exactly like her mother's room. How she hated the sight of it. The cards, the balloons, and flowers that laid all around her, and on her dresser. With sweet saying to ' get well', or words of sweet support. The wheelchair laid in the corner, and the bright white room she had. It brought her back all those hateful memories… Her mother had looked over her old tapes of her daughter.. how she missed it. She swiftly turned it off, while Kikyo had the scowl on her face, like her mother was sucking the life out of her. " Kikyo.. please come here…" Her mother said sweetly, while Kikyo placed her foot down in anger, pacing over to her bedside wondering what was she going to bother with her now…

Kikyo just looked at her mother, dully, with no happiness, or no emotion. She didn't lit up to see her mother, but yet her mother lit up to see her daughter all the time. " What do you want?" Kikyo rudely rolled the words off her lips, seeing her mother's soft smile refusing to fade. Her mother shook her head, laughing as though Kikyo knew what she talking about. Her mother out reached her arms, grasping Kikyo close enough towards her, in a small embrace.. which she missed so much.

She expected her mother to make her get her something, or do something for her, but instead she hugged her and she refused to let go. She was already half bent over, feeling her eyes opening wide at the shock…but yet couldn't be rude enough to pull away. " Kikyo..I don't need anything. I already got everything I want…" Her mother whispered gently in her ears, leaving Kikyo completely frozen listening to her. " You..Kikyo.. don't try to act like you hate everything. I know deep down you don't. He may not be here but Kikyo, I'll always be here for you. No matter if you love me or not. I'll always love you…"

Kikyo felt her embrace grow stronger, hearing her voice cracking and envisioning tears streaming down her face. Kikyo could feel her arms slowly giving away, touching her hair looking at her sweetly, leaving Kikyo to feel so strange, completely speechless.This was far from what she expected.. " All she wanted…was a hug?" Kikyo thought simply to herself, but yet so confused…It didn't seem like she was asking for much at all.

Kikyo stood back looking at her mother, weakly laying in the bed with a soft smile that left Kikyo to feel stranger for a minute. " Mom…I…" Kikyo stopped for a minute, catching her breath. " I'm going to see Kagome now…Bye…" Kikyo skipped off, walking down the hallway with the thoughts dancing in her head.

" How could she love me, when I always say I hate her?"

Author's Notes: This is my idea of a cryfest.. I was pretty close to dropping a tear.. but keep in mind I'm a sap.. and I'm proud of it! I felt like the need to make it touching and sad between her mother and herself. Of course.. stick apart of her in when she was younger… So I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please RR and tell me exactly what you think!