Tribulations of Honesty – Part 14
I'll
be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
- The Used, 'All That I've Got.'
Lexie sat in the spare room of Teena and Stevie's apartment contemplating what had just happened. Before this day had begun she had through that they were goin forward, that the constant two steps forward and four steps back had slowly dissipated into more understanding for both parties involved.
But now she felt like she had somehow been cheated. That she had been allowed to be happy for a short amount of time only to be squashed back into a glaring reality within a few days. It didn't seem fair. But then life wasn't fair, marriage was meant to be something that u worked to keep, that you tried to keep going. She couldn't just give up- could she?
Suddenly she heard the sound that she had been waiting for all day, her phone had finally received a message. One part of her knew that she would die if it wasn't from Archie, and yet another part of her wanted it to be from someone else so that she wouldn't have to deal with it all.
She glanced at the screen '1 message received', and then quickly before she could think too much clicked open. Just as she'd hoped/ dreaded the name was 'Arch'.
'I'll pick u up in ½ an hr & we'll go out somewhere.'
Lexie didn't quite know what to think. One part of her was furious at him telling her what to do and just presuming that she would do it and it would be fine. But yet the other half was glad that this hopefully showed that he was willing to make an effort.
She didn't really want to get dressed up for him, as it wouldn't prove her point of not letting him off the hook after how upset he'd made her just through being inconsiderate. But like all her other thoughts right now they were conflicting. Lexie felt like she wanted her husband to see what he was missing and with that thought in mind picked out a nice, not too figure hugging skirt and a simple black top. That way it didn't look like she had put a lot of effort in, but still made her look nice even through her pregnancy was really starting to show. Deciding more out of time constraint then anything else to wear her hair up she pulled it into a ponytail, then glanced in the mirror and thought to herself- with a bit more makeup and less red eyes she'd look pretty good.
Her timing was pretty spot on to it seemed, as just when she'd finished with the makeup and deciding to leave the red eyes so Archie wouldn't forget that she'd been crying, she heard a knock at the door.
Both Teena and Stevie weren't home; but they'd given her a key if she'd wanted to go out, so she quickly shoved it in her handbag in case she needed to get back in later.
" Where are we going?" Lexie asked cautiously as she climbed into the car
" You'll find out" Archie replied, shutting the door and walking to his side
Lexie crossed her fingers and hoped that this night would turn out all right and not end in an even bigger mess then it had begun.
She gazed out the window in her own silent reverie, only blinking when she realised that the car had stopped moving outside of a desert place she and Archie had frequented on their first moving to Glasgow.
She waited for Archie to open her door and then stepped out onto the pavement, allowing the sweet smells to wisp around her nostrils.
" Are you paying?" She asked as they chose a seat just outside the door, conveniently in front of the blackboard containing the menu.
" Of course" Archie replied
" So I can order up big?" Lexie grinned, for the first time in a while
Archie raised his eyebrows, but knew he wasn't in a strong enough position to object.
It was only a few
minutes later that they were joined by the waitress, forcing them to decide
what they wanted and also thankfully allowing them time when they weren't surrounded
by such an awkward silence.
" I'll have the cookie and cream cheesecake thanks, and a chocolate milkshake,"
Lexie announced
" And you Sir?" the waitress asked
" Um, I'll just have the Baileys cheesecake and a coffee thanks." Archie confirmed, handing her both their menus
" Not a problem, they wont be long" The waitress smiled, and then leaving again all to quickly for the uncomfortable couple
They glanced at each other cautiously and Lexie sighed. There had been way too many times like this lately. After years of marriage and even longer of friendship neither of them could remember a time when they hadn't known how to act around the other or what to say to break a silence. There had barely ever been silences of great length.
Love has made
me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
Sarah McLachlan, 'Stupid'
" Why did you tell me to meet you tonight?" Lexie asked warily
" To make up for being an ass," Archie replied
Lexie was slightly taken aback at his directness, but tried not to let it show
" So is this an apology?"
" If you want to take it that way." Archie answered nonchalant
" Owww you're so frustrating" Lexie exclaimed
Archie gave a half grin, " I always have been."
" You've never said a truer word Archie MacDonald."
" Yes I have" Archie contested
" When" Lexie walked straight into it
" When I said I loved you." He announced simply
Lexie gazed at him speechless.
Thankfully their food arrived at that moment and she was saved from having to give more of a reply then the deep blush, which was creeping up her cheeks.
Eating also seemed to give a valid excuse to not converse as much as they would usually, and she had to admit that the desert was delicious. Frankly being this far along in her pregnancy she didn't care about the weight that a piece of cheesecake would make her put on.
They made do with a bit of friendly conversation in between, but it was saddening to see that they had been reduced to chitchat about the weather and the main thing they had in common right now- their daughter Melanie.
The meal seemed like one of the longest Lexie had ever had, and her pregnant bladder was starting to think the same thing.
" I'm going to the bathroom." Lexie finally announced, pulling out the chair and unfortunately taking some of the tablecloth with it, making her milkshake balance precariously on the edge before spilling over Archie.
Immediately her open hands shot to her mouth in horror, and there was a brief moment as their eyes met before the fear and shock turned into laughter.
The waitress that had served them ran over with profound apologises even though she hadn't done a thing to cause the accident and offered to bring a new drink.
Archie gasped for breath and replied sincerely that it was fine and that they wouldn't require another drink, just maybe a towel.
Lexie motioned with her hand that she still needed to use the bathroom and Archie nodded, trying to still dodge the dripping milk that was now pooling on the floor at his feet.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears
When she came back she could see that Archie had been hard at work with the towel he had been given, as his pants only showed a dull stain of brown chocolate milk.
The fact that he looked so helpless and hapless softened her heart, just like it always had. Sheepishly he glanced up and caught her eye
" You want to go for a drive?" He asked
Lexie nodded, gathering up her handbag and letting him lead her to the car.
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
My Chemical Romance, 'Demolition Lovers'
