Peyton groaned as she opened her eyes. She hurt all over. Her body felt like tons of lead. She could barely move. She felt sick. She was sick and there was only one thing that would make her better.
"Anna…"
"I'm right here", the dark haired beauty called out softly as she was awakened from her slumber.
"Anna, help me. I…I need to leave."
"Sorry, Mija", Anna said, calling Peyton by the affectionate Spanish slang. "I can't do that. You have to stay right here."
Peyton forced her aching body to a sitting position. She needed to get away. She needed to get a taste of what Rick had and that would make her feel better. She needed a little "pick me up". Why couldn't Anna just understand that? Why did they have to argue about it? Why couldn't Anna just let her leave? And why was she sleeping on the sofa close to the near barricaded front door just in case Peyton tried to "escape"?
It was late…or early you could say, depending upon how you looked at things. Nearing four in the morning and mere hours after the girls had rescued Haley from Rick and his evil clutches, Peyton had not only come to but her high was dangerously coming down. She had been on a mission to leave Anna's apartment but Anna would have none of it. She was determined to make her friend stay the night. Anna would be there throughout the pain and the yelling and the physical withdrawals. Then hopefully the rest of the gang would show up and finally talk some sense into the blonde.
After a few minutes of feverish protesting, the noise would calm and Anna eventually would drift back to sleep. Then it would start again, awakening her, until Peyton's pleas, falling on deaf ears, would eventually subside. Darkness soon turned to day and as expected, the impromptu intervention began when Lucas, Brooke, Nathan, Haley and Skills showed up. By the time the group had settled in Anna's living room, Peyton had calmed down considerably and found the energy to wash her face and look half way presentable.
"What's up, guys?" she tried to smile as she rounded the corner into the kitchen. "Hey Anna, you mind if I get a glass of orange juice?"
They all shook their heads as they exchanged glances. They had talked about and therefore been prepared for that moment. It was typical Peyton. That was her way of manipulating the situation to her advantage. She would pretend nothing had happened.
"So…" Skills began. "How was your night, Skinny Girl?"
"Nothing much", she shrugged. "Went to a party but it was kind of lame so I ended up crashing here."
"So that's how it went down?" Nathan questioned.
"Yeah", she answered nonchalantly.
Brooke bit her lip. She could not believe what she was seeing and hearing. She could not believe the way Peyton was acting. It absolutely infuriated her.
"You know what, guys? This is total bullshit. I mean, why are we even here? It's a waste of time."
"Brooke, what are you talking about?" Peyton asked.
"You know damned well what I'm talking about. Look, I get that you're sad and depressed about Jake and Jenny. We all understand that Peyton and we're here for you but drowning your sorrows in drugs and…"
"Whoa, whoa! Wait just a minute. Who said anything about drugs?"
"Last night you were bombed."
"On alcohol."
Brooke threw her arms up in frustration. After so many years of friendship, Peyton was lying to her for the very first time.
"No, Pey! You were not drunk, okay? Trust me. I was there along with Tutor Girl and She-ra over there. You were high as a kite off of God knows what. You owed Rick money for the dope and he was talking crap about making you 'work' it off like a freaking prostitute or something. Listen, he is not a good guy and you don't need to be around him…"
"Brooke, I can take care of myself!"
"Yeah? Like you did last night?"
"Look, Rick was just messing around, okay? So I owe him a few bucks for some stuff? Big deal. You make it seem like I'm strung out on heroin. We did a couple lines of coke a few times. So what? Yeah, I have to pay him for it and if you guys will knock it off with holding me hostage, I can go to the ATM and get his money."
"No need", Anna spoke up. "I already paid him."
Peyton's eyes narrowed.
"You what?"
"You heard me."
Peyton looked around at her friends who were eyeing carefully and cautiously as if she were the subject of some weird science project.
"This is crazy. I'm out of here", she threatened, slipping on her shoes.
"Peyton, I know you're hurting because you lost Jake and Jenny but this isn't the way to handle it", Lucas began softly. "You can't do this to yourself. We care. We're your friends. Let us help you."
"I don't need your help and I didn't ask for it."
"I know it sucks, Peyton. Alright? I know it hurts. You loved them more than anything. You trusted Jake with your heart and he broke it. You tried to help Nikki and you ended up losing your family. It's lonely and it's horrible and it's hurting…"
"Shut up, Luke…"
"…It's supposed to hurt, Pey. I'm sorry but it does. But you can't give up or give in or ruin your life because of it."
"Save the lectures, okay?"
"Peyton, we just want you to know you're not alone", Haley added gently. "Seeing you like that last night was pretty scary. Seeing Rick give you those drugs in the car the night of Brooke's birthday party was pretty creepy too. Sweetie, we're just worried about you. You're so much better than that."
Peyton laughed bitterly.
"All of you guys trip me out, you know that? You come here and pretend to know what I'm going through and all of a sudden you want to save the day. What the fuck? Is there a sign tattooed across my forehead that says 'Rescue Me'? I don't need you guys. I don't need any of you. Lucas, Nathan and Skills, I don't need you three as my brooding, protective white knights. And Anna I don't need you babysitting and watching my every move. And Brooke? You're really one to be giving advice after all the crap you've pulled over the years. And Haley, I really, really don't want to hear your Mother Teresa speech, okay? You guys aren't my parents!"
"I wish the hell I was your mother or father", Lucas spoke up. "You sure as hell wouldn't be doing this shit. But they're not here and neither are Jake and Jenny. You feel alone like everyone you love just ups and leaves you. But Peyton you can't feel sorry for yourself. And you can't self destruct either. You have to be tough. You have to be a survivor."
"Don't you tell me how to be! You don't know shit! None of you know what I've been through. And don't you dare mention Jake or Jenny or my dad and mom again."
"Why? Because they left?" Lucas kept prodding.
"Luke…" Haley gently whispered, tugging at his arm. "Maybe that's enough."
"No. No, it's not Hales. I'm sick of everyone babying Peyton and tiptoeing around on eggshells for her. It's time for some tough love. It's time someone spoke the truth. Now why can't we mention them, Pey? Huh? Because they left you? Because if they could see you now, they would all be disappointed as hell?"
"Shut up!"
"Your mother is looking down and she's probably spinning in her grave right about now."
"Lucas!"
"It's true. Her daughter is a coke head."
Peyton screamed and bounded towards Lucas, small but mighty fists pounding into his chest.
"You take that back! You shut up, Lucas Scott!" she screamed.
"It's okay. Hit me all you want. Scream and yell all you want. Good. I want you to let it out, Peyton. You hear me? Let it all out. Cry and yell and hit and curse but you do it for the right reasons."
"Shut up! I hate you! I hate you all!"
"You hate me or do you hate yourself?"
"I hate you!" she cried out.
"Do you hate Jake? Do you hate Nikki?"
"Yes!"
"You hate them because he left? Because he took Jenny away?"
"Yes!"
"Because your mother died and your dad is always working out of town and you feel alone so you shut down and turn to a guy like Rick? Well, Rick doesn't care about you either. You're nothing to him. He doesn't care what happens to you. Know who does? Look around, Peyton. Look around this room. Look at Brooke and Anna and Haley and Skills and Nathan. Look at your real friends. We're here for you. Even if you've given up on yourself, we aren't ready to give up on you."
Peyton was still fighting with Luke resisting her blows by restraining her hands. It was tough love at its finest. He'd had to dig deep and absolutely break her down just to reach her. Only then when she was at rock bottom and could admit and face the real truth behind her pain, could she begin to heal.
"Peyton…"
Her movements slowed and her face fell, loud, gut wrenching sobs from the pit of her being escaping through her mouth. It hurt. It hurt bad. She cried and collapsed in Luke's arms.
"It's okay…"
"I…I loved him. I took care of them", she wailed. "I…I…I… gave them everything. It was supposed to be the three of us! Now they're gone! Nikki is her mother now and they're gone and I don't know what to do!"
Peyton crumbled into a heap on the floor.
"It's okay. We got you. Let it all out", he soothed.
And she did. She screamed and cried and for the first time faced the real reasoning behind her pain. She was angry. She was hurt. She was lonely. She was confused. She was mad at Jenny for choosing Nikki over her. She was mad at Nikki for taking away her family. She was mad at Jake for leaving. She was mad at herself for opening up the can of worms in the first place.
The mental breakdown felt good. It was all out on the table. She could be mad or vulnerable and it didn't matter. Her friends, her true friends, would be there no matter what. She didn't need Rick or his stupid drugs. In the end, all she needed was herself and the people surrounding her. They cared and they understood. They listened to her heartfelt cries and wiped away her tears. They stayed with her all day until exhausted, Peyton finally succumbed to sleep. When her eyes opened later, she was covered in a blanket on Anna's couch.
"Hey Sleeping Beauty. I was wondering when you were going to wake up."
"What time is it?" Peyton asked groggily.
"After nine. You okay? You hungry?"
Peyton nodded.
"Anna, I'd really like to go home now."
Anna nodded as she drove Peyton back to the Sawyer house. Peyton showered and changed while Anna did her best to create a meal out of the meager contents of the kitchen's refrigerator and cupboards. The girls ate in silence and when it was finished, Anna cleared the dishes. Peyton watched her, sighing, mentally and emotionally drained.
"Well, Peyton if you're going to be alright, I guess I'll get out of here."
"I flushed the rest of it down the toilet", Peyton offered.
"What?"
"I had another vile here in my room but I got rid of it."
Anna smiled.
"Good for you."
Peyton nodded before walking up to the dark haired woman and hugging her.
"Thank you. Anna, I owe you…for everything."
"It's okay. You repay me by getting your life together."
"Anna?"
"Yeah?"
"One more thing. Don't, don't go, okay? Please. Um, can you…can we just hang out here tonight? I guess I need a friend."
Anna thought for a minute before smiling and taking off her jacket.
"Then you got one."
