It's funny how the beginning, middle, and end of the story cover such drastically different periods of time. The beginning lasted several years. The middle lasted only a few. The end, well, let's just say its endurance wasn't near long enough. It might be a bit difficult for you to understand my story, seeing as how you are coming in at the middle. But just to make a long story short: I am a horrible person, and nothing anyone can say will make it better.

I guess it all began in 1st year, when I had my secret crush on Sirius. No one ever found out, and I was glad it was kept that way. I would have died of humiliation had anyone found out. The reason for my desire to keep this secret is simple: James Potter liked me. There was no way Sirius would go out with me if James liked me. They were too close. Sirius had the best platonic love for James I have ever seen. The way they saw it, I wasn't worth their friendship, and it is quite humbling to have to admit that, yes, I Lily Evans, agree with them.

James never did anything wrong to me. He was a lot like me, probably too much. He was arrogant, cocky, and very talented. In fact, his liking me proved to be most beneficial. No one bothered me, except for Snape that is. I was on a pedestal that I didn't belong on. I hated it. This might sound peculiar, since my life seemed to be total bliss. I didn't even have to fight my own battles. But, that wasn't how it was. To most, I was untouchable. No one asked me out, save Potter. Anyone who even dared a glance in his presence was hexed. It was more bitter for me than sweet.

I guess somewhere along the line, he stopped genuinely liking me. We went out for a brief period in 4th year, since I had nothing better to do. It wasn't like I had anyone else to go out with. I guess James won the bet, since Sirius told him he did when I showed up at the Three Broomsticks with him. I was infuriated. No amount of boredom was worse than the feeling I got that day. So, from then on, James was no longer just an annoying admirer. He became an enemy. I loathed him. I would have liked nothing better than to never have to speak to him again. Unfortunately, I didn't have such luck. He still talked to me and tried to apologize. I really wished he hadn't. It wasn't just because he annoyed me either. Rather, it was because of what he drove me to do.

I wanted to do nothing more than make his life miserable, so I did it in the way I knew would hurt him the most. I tried to win over Sirius. My several attempts failed, and I stooped really low. I was just having a friendly set up chat with Sirius while waiting for James to walk into the room. Of course, when he did, I kissed Sirius. I never saw James look more hurt than that day. I didn't feel one but guilty, that is, until Peter confronted me. My guilt led me to tell James the truth, and seeing his cockiness, it made me hate him more. James made my bad qualities show, and I hated what he did to me. I had my revenge, but it was short lived, and it was anything but sweet.

The bad thing is, though, I never did anything positive about it. I stooped really low in my attempts to get him away from me. He never gave up, of course, so in my 7th and final year at Hogwarts, I decided that I would help him decide that I wasn't what he wanted. However, I went about it in the wrong way. I never realized that I was so cruel and callous until I was done terrorizing him. I also didn't expect the tables to turn on me. I found myself facing a reversal of roles, and it was far from fun. I was going to get a lesson in humility.