auto-meiser: I'm glad you like . Thanks for sticking with me. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 3
I ran for a long time before I even bothered to think of which way I was going. My hands were beginning to numb, so I was able to take the pain. When I finally did stop, I realized I was in the woods, and actually was only a little ways from where the main Eco camp was.
I shivered. I hadn't realized till now how cold it was outside. The paper thin jacket I wore was nothing compared to the cold and all I wanted at that moment was to curl up under the blankets of my bed, and stare over at my little daughter sleeping in her little bed curled up, safe and happy.
I yawned and stared at the moon. So big... To me for some reason it seemed to be looking down at me worried. I almost wanted to scream for it to help, but I knew that would be silly. The moon couldn't do anything but watch. Then again, it couldn't even do that... But it still gave me comfort to think of the moon watching me as I walked along to camp.
It was a half hour later when I arrived. The dyeing campfire greeted me mournfully as a welcoming source of heat. I walked quickly over to the slowly losing life embers and sat down on a log that had been placed there for when the main part of the tribe, that didn't want to be isolated into little groups like the others, would sit and enjoy story telling and eating, and singing by night.
I looked beside me and spotted a pile of firewood put into a pile. I grabbed one of the pieces and put it on the hot embers. After a while the wood started crackling and a small blaze had started. I smiled for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, and added another log. Soon I had a pretty good blaze going. The warmth coming off the fire engulfed me, and I sat for a long time staring at the jumping sparks of the fire.
Finally, I was able to reflect over what had just happened, without feeling panic of wanting to get away.
So Lex was just as he always was. A dog. But… But... It wasn't his entire fault was it? I could have fought harder couldn't I? No... No... I mustn't think that... It was his fault... I'm weak. Well I'm not that weak...
These confusing thoughts lasted for a while. I finally decided, that I could have fought harder, but I shouldn't have had to fight him off in the first place.
This wasn't the least bit helpful, because it still happened, and I couldn't change it anymore then I could change how Brady was conceived. At the thought of conceiving, I thought about how Lex had not used protection. What if I did become pregnant? What would that child's life be like? Would there be a lot of pain? Would I even want to accept it as mine? Would Brady be jealous?
The odds I was pregnant were slim, but still there. And it was scary to think about. I kept thinking of a mutated baby with horns in a tail. Though I knew in the back of my mind that wasn't possible. I thought of that when I was pregnant with Brady and saw Zoot running around screaming "Power and Chaos" too, and now Brady was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And I was so proud of her.
I decided I should put the subject about being pregnant aside. If I was, I was, and I wouldn't deal with it until I had to.
I picked up a near by stick then and poked the fire a few times, and tossed it in. Mentally I told myself, I'd worry about all of this stuff and the rape Lex had committed, in the morning, and for now I would go to bed, and get the sleep I desperately needed.
I got up, and walked past the quiet and calm huts around me, and ended up at the one closest to where Amber lived. This was my home. The leafy roof jutted out in odd places over the straw base of it. In the dark, I could see the door was shut.
I walked over to the door, which was made out of sticks, and opened it carefully. I knew Brady wouldn't be inside; rather she'd be sleeping at Fawn's house, because that was who was watching her. But it still made my heart ach to see Brady's small empty bed, neatly made, just as I had left it that morning.
I sighed and walked over to my bed and plopped down onto it. I put my hands over my eyes, and cried a little, each tear representing my anger and pain. Why did it have to be me? Just because I went back to the mall. I knew I should have never gone back. It was the worst mistake I could ever make. As my tears fell, my pain surrounding my heart worsened.
Finally I got up, pulled back the covers, laid down, and covered myself up. My eyes fell heavily and finally I drifted to sleep, and to my first of many disturbing and scary dreams.
I opened my eyes and found myself in a darkly lit corridor. I couldn't see two feet before me, and it seemed the blackness never ended. The size of my stomach told me I was heavily pregnant, and that it would be imposable to get up and walk. I did manage to crawl, with great effort. My overly large belly made sliding myself across the cold linoleum floor nearly imposable, until I managed to get myself sliding. I realized I was wearing a brown cotton dress, that almost looked like rags, and that the bottom of it was cut very oddly.
It vaguely reminded me of what I wore when I was pregnant with Brady, but I didn't dwell on it long when I heard a violent scream. It was coming from the direction I was heading, so I struggled to go faster. I started to cough, and stared down in horror when I saw blood dripping down on the floor, and realized it was coming from my mouth. I coughed again and a large puddle of blood splat on the floor. I tried to ignore it, and kept going, blood dripping down the corners of my mouth. I heard the violent scream again, and struggled to crawl faster. Finally I saw a source of light, and thought of nothing but getting to the light.
Soon, I was crawling very fast, and I became engulfed in the light source. The first thing I saw was that I was in the cafe of the mall. Lex stood by the balcony; his raven hair dangling over his face like it usually was, hiding what everyone wanted to see.
"Lex" I called out weakly. "Please help me Lex." Lex ignored me, and reached behind him, to pick up something I saw laying in a small pool of blood on the floor. He picked it up by its leg, and stared at it for a moment. And within that moment, I recognized what it was. It was Brady! My baby!
"Lex! No" I screamed out. Still he ignored me, and dangled the lifeless heap of my daughter over the balcony. Slowly each of his fingers slipped from my daughter's leg and before I knew it... She was falling. Faster and faster, until I hear a sickening smack. I screamed loudly, and this time Lex looked at the pregnant heap of useless flesh I was. But instead of his face, I saw a bony outline of it. Blood ran from his eyes, and dripped onto the floor in long thick streams. "Nooooooooo"
I sat upright in my bed breathing hard. The horribleness of the dream still swept over me as I gazed out my window. It was still dark. The mental image of Lex's face stayed in my mind as I got up and walked over to my window and stared outside. A mournful strong wind blew outside, making me shudder. My life was going to be plagued forever now wasn't it? I put my hands on my stomach and kept staring outside. I had a feeling it would.
