Disclaimer: The characters from Fushigi Yuugi are the creations and property of Yuu Watase and related enterprises. The characters from Doctor Who are the property of the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). I do not own them and do not make any profit from this fiction except for my own enjoyment in spending time with them.
However, the plotline, as well as all original characters in this story, DO belong to me and may not be used elsewhere without my permission.
Musical selection: "Cursum Perficio" by Enya from her CD "Watermark," Reprise Records, 1989.
I would like to dedicate this chapter to my amazing beta readers, Ryuen and Purple Mouse. You have my deepest gratitude--and as many obscene wasabi sculptures as I can create! :P
XxX
Chapter 18. A Light in the Darkness
Magus stared up at the glowing figure in the doorway, its power blazing forth in crackling rays of psychic energy. He instinctively shielded his own psi centers from the blinding effects of this force, but he couldn't take his eyes from the winged form. A feeling of triumph welled up from deep within, making him want to shout in fierce joy. He had been right! All along, he had been right about Shouryuu, and now here his protege stood, radiating power at levels of near invincible proportions!
At that moment, one lone meter monitoring the Doctor's slumped form fell to zero and began trilling a faint alarm. Magus failed to notice it--and also failed to notice the scarlet fire in his student's eye as Shouryuu's head turned in the direction of the motionless captive. Magus surged forward, his only thought to reach Shouryuu, embrace him in joy at the fulfillment of his life's purpose! It was only when he heard Shouryuu's howl of rage and felt a powerful force blast into him, flinging him back against the stone wall, that he realized his mistake--the one miscalculation in his entire intricate plan.
XxX
Joss raced up the last steps of the tower staircase, following the echo of Houjun's enraged shout. She nearly skidded into him as he stood blocking a vast doorway.
"What the--?" She stared at the light shining from his shoulder blades, somehow refracted to resemble two giant scarlet wings, radiant, transparent, the light pulsing in time with her heartbeat. She hung back for a moment, uncertain, but as Houjun surged forward, she darted up to join him, breaking through the light-wings to reach his side--
--and almost plunging off the open landing into the chamber below, stopped only by his arm seizing her by the waist. She barely had time to register this fact before he transported them to the floor of the chamber. Her gaze was caught at first by the elaborate crystal array but tracked swiftly downward to focus on the Doctor bound to the crossbars beneath. She struggled out of Houjun's grasp, her cry of outrage drowned out by a furiously barked spell from Houjun. The restraints and wires hummed with tension before bursting apart, releasing the Doctor to fall lifelessly out of their grasp, his body propelled through the air to be caught by Houjun in a fierce embrace. The Doctor's head rested against Houjun's neck, his golden-brown waves hanging over his eyes, his silk shirt torn open over his chest--and Joss choked back a sob as she noted his broken stillness, the alabaster whiteness of his skin.
Movement from the far end of the chamber caught her attention--and Houjun's.
"Fusege!" he snarled, making a slashing gesture with his staff. The students who had attempted to flee the chamber stood frozen in place, their eyes wide and frightened.
Joss blinked at this harsh treatment. "Houjun, listen--"
He ignored her protest, turning away, his attention now riveted on the Doctor lying motionless in his arms. "Joss, he's not breathing!" He lowered the Doctor to the floor and pressed his ear against the time lord's chest. Joss darted to the Doctor's side, grasping his wrist and feeling desperately for a pulse. Their eyes met, stricken, as the magician's scarlet-winged aura faded in the face of his panic.
"Joss, that thing--when we pulled Shun'u from the lake!"
"CPR, but I don't know how we'll--he has two hearts!"
"We have to try!"
Joss gritted her teeth. "You take the left, I'll take the right, and press--wait, together or alternating? Damn it! Let's try alternating!"
They pressed on each side of the Doctor's chest five times in succession, then took turns blowing into his mouth. His chest rose and fell but only with their exhalations. They continued with the CPR, going on and on until Joss lost all track of time, her universe narrowed to one tiny window.
Push-two-three-four-five.
Press mouth to those soft, cold lips and blow.
Come on, Doctor. Give us some help here. Breathe. Stop looking so…
Fight back despair and start again.
Push-two-three-four-five.
Blow.
Ignore the pain of aching muscles. Focus past blurred vision. Turn eyes away from that ashen face, that unnatural stillness. Push-two-three-four-five.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Finally Joss paused to wipe sweat out of her eyes. She touched Houjun's arm. "Did you try…can you feel--?"
Houjun met her gaze, and Joss sucked in a breath at the searing pain in his eye, pain laced with terror. He hadn't checked for the Doctor's ki, because he was afraid to look, afraid to find--
"You have to," she whispered. "We have to know."
The magician turned from her, hunching his shoulders, then reached out a trembling hand and placed two fingers on the Doctor's right temple. Joss waited as Houjun closed his eye in concentration for several seconds before drawing back, jerking his head to one side in denial. He reached out again, this time with both hands, grasping the Doctor's head between both palms. Joss held her breath as the seconds ticked by, stretching out into one minute…two--
Finally Houjun pulled back, panting with exertion. Joss pulled hard on his arm until he turned his face to her, until she looked into his eye and saw…
An ocean of grief. A bottomless well of raw, screaming loss.
"Oh, no," she moaned, covering her mouth with both hands as if she could obliterate the truth by choking off her cries. They couldn't be too late! It wasn't fair; this wasn't the way the story was supposed to end!
"No!" Houjun had turned from her, his tormented cry echoing her thoughts. He struck the Doctor in the chest with both fists, continuing with four more blows in succession, then desperately pressed his mouth against those pale lips, exhaling strongly. He blew into the Doctor's mouth again--and again--and again. Finally he stopped, his lips moving against the time lord's in some silent, anguished prayer.
Through her sobs, Joss began to discern soft words. "Please," Houjun whispered against the cold, unresponsive lips, "don't do this, Doctor. Don't leave me. I understand now, don't you see? I know who I am, but--I still need you. I'm not ready to let you go yet. I'm not--" His voice broke at last.
Joss rocked herself in grief, her every breath a soft, keening cry. It shouldn't be possible to live through this kind of agony, she thought. Pain like this should kill you where you stood. It should choke off your breath and stop your heart, instead of leaving you alive, gasping, wondering how you would endure the next second, the next minute--
How could she endure it? Oh, gods, how could he endure it, after everything that he had suffered? What would this final, devastating loss do to him?
Something stirred in the corner of her tear-blurred vision. Houjun had lifted his head from the Doctor's chest and pushed to his feet so that he was now standing next to his friend's body. His eye gleamed with a cold, bitter light as he looked around the darkened chamber, his gaze sliding past Magus' crumpled form and finally fixing on the students trembling in one corner.
Through the throbbing ache in her head and heart, Joss wondered dully what he was doing. She squinted at him, trying to make out his expression in the gathering gloom. It wasn't until his eye suddenly shone with a feral red light that she realized that the darkness was coming not from outside, but from within him--and she knew exactly what he was going to do.
XxX
Houjun stood in the center of a whirling maelstrom of darkness, buffeted by the punishing winds. In the distance, he could make out a huddled group of people, their features shadowed but their voices rising above the roaring in his ears, hurling taunts of savage glee.
"You're not even a real man!"
"Aren't you the ugly one, hiding the deformed freak you really are!"
"How can a half-man like you even protect anyone?"
"You're nobody, belonging to no one…"
Straining to hear past the mockery and the roaring winds, he tried to focus on that one voice, the one anchor in his entire mad existence. He reached into the darkness with outstretched hands, hoping to feel the warm grip of strong hands pulling him back into the light.
Nothing. No one. Nothing but the shrieking laughter of the shadowed forms before him.
The darkness took hold of him. He tilted his head back and closed his eye, finding chill comfort in its vile embrace, letting the ravaging power fill him one last time.
So be it. Let it all end. Let his tormentors know what it felt like, to be…
Him.
He raised his gaze, feeling cold fire blaze from his eye. "He's dead," he remarked softly, almost conversationally. "But you already knew that, didn't you? After all, you were the ones who…" His voice dropped into a cold hiss, "…killed him!"
The shadows seemed to shrink back at the fury in his voice, but he couldn't be certain, because everything was veiled in murky gloom. It didn't matter; he could see well enough to locate his target--and his weapon. He lifted his ash staff, casually hooking the darkness that swirled around him, spinning it and molding its evil winds to his command. "You made one fatal mistake in your mission to destroy us. When you killed him, you left me with nothing. Nothing to live for--nothing to lose. And now…now I will show you what nothingness truly is!"
His voice grew harsh, chanting rough, guttural words in time with the rotations of his staff. He thought that he could hear sobbing cries from the shadows, but they were swept away in the growing roar of the developing cyclone.
Suddenly a flash of gold streaked through the darkness around him. He frowned, momentarily distracted. What was it--and where--? It flashed again, now pulsing with energy, growing and expanding until it pushed at the shadows whirling around him. He slowed the spinning of the staff, his chants faltering in the face of his bewilderment.
The brightness flared, tearing at the tendrils of the cyclone, dispersing its darkness. He placed a hand up to shield his eye from the painful light. An aura? That was what it was: a shining, golden aura, glowing with pure, untainted trust. Strange, yet infinitely familiar.
A voice suddenly rose above the grumble of the dying winds, a voice reverberating with conviction.
"Suzaku no Chichiri! Hear me! Stop this at once!"
Houjun choked, catching his staff and fighting the nausea that flooded through him at the abrupt interruption of the soul-destroying spell. At that moment, the winds parted, allowing him to glimpse the quiet, broken body of his friend, lying in the dust, unmoving….
Rage seized him again, and he lifted his staff in defiance. "They killed him!"
"They didn't know what they were doing! They're just kids, Houjun!" The golden light stood between him and the shadows, the center of the aura darkening so that the form within it grew distinct. Short dark hair curling in wild waves, brown eyes shining with tears, chin jutting out and arms outstretched as if she could deflect death by the power of her will alone. "If you want to kill them, you're going to have to kill me first!"
"Joss," Houjun whispered, feeling the darkness retreat before the force of her light.
"Houjun, listen to me! Just look at them; look at them!"
He lifted his gaze, trying to see through the fading shadows. There they were: not a faceless, taunting crowd, but young students frozen in a terrified huddle after his earlier spell, some sobbing while others fixed him with fearful glares. His peers, the magicians he had studied with and tutored, nearly destroyed by him in a moment of mindless rage. The nausea welled up in him again, and he choked out, "Hanase, ima!"
Some of the youths collapsed into the arms of their friends at the sudden release, while others bolted towards the stairway. Not a single student approached Houjun or even dared to raise their eyes to him.
Houjun stood alone, the bitterly familiar feeling of self-hatred sucking the ground from beneath his feet. He closed his eye, wanting the darkness to swallow him, wanting it to suck the life and pain and grief from his body. How many times in the past two years had he wished for oblivion? When would Suzaku relent and free him from the torment of this existence?
At that moment, he felt a hand on his arm. He looked down into brown eyes that reflected his own pain yet brimmed with compassion and a deeper emotion that he didn't dare to name. What could he do for her? He was lost…and she was lost with him. They were stranded in a barren place, pain and grief stretching into the distance as far as they could see.
She stiffened suddenly, her hand tightening on his arm, her eyes looking past him. Before he turned around, before he heard a single sound, he already knew. He knew.
"Shouryuu," rumbled the deep, familiar voice.
XxX
Houjun stood very still, clamping down on every thought, every emotion. And then, slowly--very slowly--he turned towards Magus.
His voice was soft and icy. "I do not answer to that name any longer."
"So what shall I call you? Ri Houjun?"
"That name is for use only by my friends."
The mystical eyes behind the black mask glittered with amusement, seemingly unaware of the rising tension in the young magician's stance. Behind them, Joss was frantically pushing the remaining students towards the stairway, hissing at them to flee the school and never look back.
Magus thoughtfully rubbed a finger along the edge of his mask. "So that leaves only…Celestial Warrior Chichiri, am I right?"
"If you like." Houjun moved towards Magus, holding his staff loosely, almost casually. "I thought you might have died."
"Apparently not, as you can see."
"Then there is no justice in this world!" spat Houjun, his sudden rage sending scarlet flames dancing along his form.
"I could have told you as much, Chichiri. There is no justice anywhere in this universe, other than that which we make ourselves."
"You would not like my justice!"
Magus raised his hands, not in self-defense or conciliation, but almost as if he wished to touch the flaming aura of his former pupil. "Such power," he breathed. "Such intensity and force, beyond my most ambitious projections. Together we will achieve greatness! Together we shall--"
His words were cut off by a telekinetic burst hitting him like a back-handed slap. He staggered back under the assault, retaining his footing with difficulty.
"You dare!" snarled Houjun. "You dare recruit me for your demented ambitions, while the body of the man you killed lies in the dust behind me!"
Magus looked past Houjun to the crumpled figure on the ground, a bowed figure kneeling at his side. Joss had somehow retrieved the Doctor's discarded velvet coat and was covering him as if to shield him from the chill of the stone floor. With blind, faltering motions, she smoothed his chestnut curls and pulled his shirt closed, as if she could fix his broken body with these simple, loving gestures. The lamplight caught the glimmer of teardrops as they fell to the ground: an endless, grieving rain.
For a moment, waves of weariness and regret seemed to waft from the black, enigmatic mask--but Magus straightened, his form infused with renewed purpose. "In the war against evil, there are always necessary sacrifices." He raised his arm abruptly, deflecting another of Houjun's psi assaults. "Will you continue to carry on in this infantile manner? You waste our time with these crude attacks, while the fate of millions hangs in the balance! There are greater consequences at stake than the life of any one man."
"Not for me." Houjun lowered his staff, bringing himself back under control. "When you killed him, you made yourself my eternal enemy. There will be no peace between us--ever. Not even for the sake of these supposed millions."
"'Supposed' millions? Do you imagine that I am joking about the threat to this world?"
"Not joking, but…you're hiding something. I can sense it in your ki." Raising two fingers before his face, Houjun's eye narrowed in concentration as he faced his former master. Magus held up a hand as if to deflect Houjun's probing mind, beads of sweat dripping from beneath his mask. Finally he stumbled back, hissing in pain.
Houjun lowered his hand, his face pale and drawn. "There is no threat! None except that which you would bring upon us yourself." He shook his head in disbelief. "You are insane! I can't read your motives, but…it means nothing to you, to kill a man--or two or a hundred--as long as you achieve your objective!"
Magus breathed heavily, wiping the back of one hand across his chin. "You dare to violate my mind in that way? You forget your place, Shouryuu!"
"I have no place, Magus. We are no longer teacher and student, master and apprentice. We are only two sworn enemies, unrelentingly opposed."
Magus stepped closer to Houjun, his stance aggressive, provocative. "So what do you mean to do: kill me? It may not be as easy as you think, unless you truly have forgotten that I am the one who has taught you all you know."
"Not all that I know; not by half." Houjun's mouth twisted in bitterness. "Even so--as much as some dark part of me desperately yearns for your death--I will not kill you. He wouldn't want that; it wasn't his way. And if I am to honor him…" The young magician swallowed hard, fighting for control. "No, I won't kill you--but I will stop you."
With that, he raised his ash staff, intoning a command. A ball of light shot from the end of the staff, exploding against a panel of blinking consoles. Sparks fountained up towards the domed ceiling as electronic alarms screeched and smoke poured from the damaged consoles.
"Stop this madness!" shrieked Magus, diving at the consoles as if he could shield them with his body. Another console across the chamber went up in flames. "No! Don't you understand? You're destroying our one defense against the Swarm!"
"We don't need this defense! Not if I prevent you from bringing the evil here in the first place."
Magus roared in frustration as yet another console fell to Houjun's fury. Suddenly he raised his hand to his mask and snarled out a command. Houjun threw up a defense spell just in time, but he still staggered back under the force of Magus' assault.
Houjun barked out another spell, pointing his staff at another instrument, but Magus countered almost immediately, throwing forth a barrier spell. He instantly followed up with another attack spell against Houjun, once again narrowly deflected in time.
The two magicians prowled back and forth, flinging out attacks and counterattacks, setting the chamber alight with showers of sparks. Joss remained crouched over the Doctor, blindly shielding his body from the battle, staying silent to keep from distracting Houjun.
Magus finally paused and leaned against a console wearily. "This is utter lunacy! We should be joined in a common cause, not battling one another."
"There is no cause, not as long as I have the power to stop you."
"Then be certain that you do!" Magus suddenly pulled a lever on the console. The entire chamber seemed to tilt, sending Houjun skidding back across the floor, as Joss lost her balance and sprawled on the ground. At the same time, Magus flung a flurry of attacks at the younger magician. Houjun rasped out a barrier spell, recoiling from the percussive blows of Magus' multi-faceted assault. A strange wheezing, groaning noise resounded off the dome of the chamber, and the vast room vibrated from some unseen force.
"Houjun, look!" He jumped up at Joss' shout, only to see Magus standing at the console nearest the focusing crystal, his hands flying over the board like those of a mad musician. Houjun hurled another assault, which bounced harmlessly off a transparent barrier surrounding Magus and his control board.
"You have talent, Chichiri, but you lack experience! Observe your master--and learn!"
The dome began to crack open with a tremendous scraping groan. Just as the night sky became visible, a focused beam of psychic energy shot forth from the collection reservoir, striking the crystal array, which sang out a clear, resonating note in response. A ray of light flashed from the crystals high into the night sky, flaring up in spectral colors, alien blue shading into green. Houjun felt his heart drop, the light piercing his eye like the Doctor's mystical gaze.
The dome slid closed with the same metallic groan, shutting out the sky and leaving the inhabitants of the chamber in silence.
Magus raised a shaking hand to his mask. "It's done," he whispered. "The signal has been sent, and the battle is now engaged."
XxX
Houjun stood frozen in the midst of the chamber, feeling the darkness take hold of him. "Failure," his inner voice whispered, not mocking this time but merely sad. "You've failed again, as you always do. How shall you fail him next?" In his mind, he saw the Doctor fix him with one last look of disappointment before turning away and disappearing into the mists.
"No!" he cried softly, his voice barely audible even in the silence. "NO!"
"It's too late, Chichiri. The only thing we can do now is join together--my knowledge and your power--and defeat the evil for all time!" Magus' voice was suffused with triumph, but beneath the surface ran a darker note, a tone that vibrated with something close to grief.
Houjun was too caught up in despair to notice. His mind whirled, buffeted by conflicting thoughts and emotions, until he thought he might go mad. At that moment, he felt a presence beside him, a warm hand slipping into his, grounding him, steadying him. He focused on brown eyes looking up at him, dark with conviction. She gave one brief nod in acknowledgment, as if to say, 'What you will.'
He clenched his jaw and turned back to Magus. "No."
"Is that all you can say? You have no choice! You will join me in this battle, or you will condemn this planet to annihilation!"
"No. I will not be your tool. Not for anything. I refuse to betray him."
"This isn't about him! This is about your own world, which you will abandon to its destruction rather than swallow your pride!"
"I'm not the one who has brought peril to my world. Nor will I abandon her in her darkest hour. I'll fight for her and for my people with whatever celestial powers Suzaku has granted me. But those powers are not for your use, Magus."
Magus snarled in frustration. "Your imaginary god will not help you! You are doomed to fail without my knowledge and technology. Tell me something, Celestial Warrior Chichiri! How many of your people have to die before you relinquish your misplaced loyalty? The Doctor is dead! He has no part in your life any longer!"
Houjun slammed his staff into the floor in rage. "You know nothing! You understand nothing! What can you know of loyalty or loss, or… This is all a game of win-and-lose to you, isn't it? You didn't hesitate once at the thought of my people when you chose this world for your battleground, yet now you have the utter arrogance to accuse me of failing them! Why in all the Hells would I or my imaginary god trust you for even a heartbeat?"
"I offer you and your planet salvation, and you throw it back in my face! Why do you refuse to understand?"
"It's you who refuses to understand!" Houjun lowered his voice, but his quiet words burned with intensity. "If I stood on the precipice of Hell itself, with all the demons of this world and the next howling for my blood--I still would not take your hand, not for my life or immortal soul."
The black-gloved fist smashed down on the console. Magus turned, his masked visage fixing its glittering gaze on the silent woman standing beside Houjun. "And what of you, girl? You've traveled from another world with the Doctor; can you convince this celestial warrior of what his rejection means?"
"You just don't get it, do you, Magus?" Joss' voice was soft with contempt. "You come in here, throw your weight around and manipulate us, endanger this entire planet, then top it off by murdering the one man who might have been able to sort this mess out--and you wonder why we don't trust you? Sure, maybe we won't have as much technical know-how without you, but at least we won't have to watch our backs every second."
Magus stiffened as if struck by the simple honesty of Joss' words. He raised one shaking hand to his mask. "So that's how it must be," he whispered. "Congratulations, Doctor. Even from beyond the grave, you tighten your grip on my throat. Well-played, I should say. But as I told you before, my life means nothing to me; only my mission matters." He lifted his enigmatic visage toward Joss and raised his voice. "I accept your terms. The technology you require is all around you, young woman, and I'm certain that you're familiar enough with the symbiotic intelligence of the Doctor's TARDIS to deduce how to access the necessary files. I will leave you to your defense with no fear of my interference."
Joss blinked. "Actually, I've never…."
"What are you talking about, Magus? Do you expect us to believe that you will voluntarily leave and refrain from manipulating this situation that you have created? You expect us to trust you on your word?"
"No, I expect nothing of the sort from you, Chichiri. I expect that nothing short of my death will convince you. So do it. Take your vengeance for the Doctor--but make sure that you wreak my vengeance on the Swarm."
"You're mad!" Houjun whispered, his face pale. "You want me to kill you in cold blood?"
"You were willing enough to do it scant minutes ago. Does it matter if it's in cold blood or burning rage? I'll be just as dead either way. Does my willingness to be a sacrifice to my cause make your vengeance any less sweet?"
"As I told you before, I'm no longer a pawn to be manipulated. You think you're cornering me by giving me two choices: cooperate with you or kill you. Well, there's a third choice. I can just walk away and leave you to your fate."
"No, you CAN'T!" Magus roared in fury. "That is the one thing you cannot do! You cannot allow THEM to win!" He rushed from behind the console, but Houjun held up his staff in a warding gesture.
Magus stopped short of attacking Houjun, bunching his fists in rage. "You think I'm lying to manipulate you, that I don't want you to kill me? You think this life means anything to me? The only reason for my continued existence is to assure the annihilation of the Swarm--and if their annihilation comes at the cost of my life, then I will welcome it as a long-overdue release!"
He raised his hands to his mask, grasping the edges with trembling fingers. "You stand there and tell me that I know nothing of loyalty or loss! You think that you know pain and self-hatred, because of the death of your friend--and yet you still sleep when you're weary, eat when you're hungry, find comfort with your friends! Do you think that you are scarred from your experiences? Let me show you a face scarred by Hell!"
With that, Magus threw back his hood and ripped away his mask. Joss cried out involuntarily, while Houjun lowered his staff with trembling hands.
Waves of dark hair tumbled across the man's forehead, standing out against pale skin and middle-aged features that would have been handsome--except for the scars. Four deep furrows on each cheek, running from just beneath his eyes to above his jawline, the skin inflamed, swollen, caked with dried blood. Blue eyes red-rimmed with grief and exhaustion glared out at them, unfocused with rage.
"Do you see it now?" Magus' voice was a hissing challenge. "Do you see what it's like to survive THEM? Each time I close my eyes, each time exhaustion takes me against my will, I relive the nightmare yet again. I see my wife and son screaming in agony at their disfigurement at the hands of the Swarm; I feel the stick heavy in my grasp, and the dull, wet impact as I strike them again and again, pounding their cries into silence, spattering their warm blood against my flesh! And I wake screaming, with my nails digging into my face, as if I could rip away the memories by ripping away the skin!"
Joss was sobbing quietly, her hands covering her mouth in sympathetic horror. Magus fixed his mad blue eyes on her. "Don't weep for me, young woman--weep for yourself. You will know what I speak of soon enough." He turned back to Houjun. "So end it for me, Celestial Warrior Chichiri. Release me from this existence and take my place!"
"No." The whisper was very soft. Houjun was as pale as death, but his jaw was set. "I'm very sorry for you, Magus, but I won't do it. I won't."
"You DARE? You dare to pity me, your master and teacher? You would do well to be half the man I was!"
A muscle twitched under Houjun's right eye, but he remained silent at the taunt.
Magus gritted his teeth. "All that power--all the killing power you were born to wield, and you stand there mute and helpless! It's no wonder that your woman threw you over for a stronger man!"
"Shut the fuck up, Magus!" Joss was livid with rage. "You don't know what you're talking about, so shut your fucking mouth!"
"I know exactly what I'm talking about! All those months I wasted on him, trying to teach him how to use his power--and all I heard were his sniveling complaints about the discomfort he experienced. A true warrior would never flinch at the cost of battle. A true man would show more resolve than he ever did!"
"Shut UP!" shrieked Joss, rushing at Magus. He threw up a hand and struck her with a warding spell, sending her flying back across the floor.
"That's enough." The words were soft and dangerous. Houjun's eye gleamed red in a face obscured by tendrils of shadow. His form darkened as he held the ash staff before him. "Don't you touch her. Ever."
"I'll do whatever it takes to make you realize your true nature! That includes killing her, if need be." Magus' own face and form were becoming obscured by the soul-rending darkness.
The two magicians faced off, one holding his hand to his face while the other spun the staff before him. Shadows flowed from every corner of the chamber to swirl about them. A chill wind fluttered their robes as guttural chants filled the air.
Suddenly Magus flung his arm outward. Spears of black light blasted into the floor next to Joss, showering her with stone shrapnel. She cried out in pain, just as Houjun snarled a spell, sending a blast of wind to knock Magus' arm aside.
"Is that all you can do? Weak little disarming tactics?"
"I have no intention of allowing you to kill her--nor will I kill you!"
"Why not? Are you frightened of killing? Isn't that why your god created you? What use is a warrior who won't kill? What use are you, Chichiri?"
Another blast of black light raced towards Joss. Houjun leaped into its path, his staff spinning away the killing spears. Magus sent another attack from the opposite direction, making him lunge to intercept it.
"How long do you think you can keep this up? It's only a matter of time before you tire--and your first indication of your lagging efforts will be her death!"
Houjun roared in anger, shooting his own black spears to explode at Magus' feet.
He staggered back, knocking against a console. "Too weak again! Or are you still reluctant to kill? Is it easier to kill your friends than your enemies? It certainly didn't take you long to attack your best friend all those months ago!"
"Shut up!" Houjun deflected another attack, but Joss cried out as more shrapnel struck her.
"Can't you see that she's going to die while you hesitate? Are you going to be as useless to her as you were to your betrothed? While you were doing nothing but weeping over your friend, your woman was drowning, screaming your name! How long will you wait this time?"
Houjun suddenly stood straight, his chants deepening in intensity and force. A rapid-fire series of attacks blasted the console behind Magus, sending the time lord falling to his knees. He glared up at Houjun. "Again you hold back! How long will you deny your true nature, Chichiri? You are a killer, born to kill! No matter what you do in your life, people will die all around you. They die when you try, and they die when you do nothing! So for once, stop hiding from yourself and take control of your destiny! KILL ME NOW!"
Houjun felt the bitter truth of Magus' words take hold of him, as the darkness took hold of his mind. Before he knew it, he was spinning his staff in time to the razor winds, letting the dark ecstasy swallow his soul. Through the shadows veiling his eye, he could make out Magus kneeling before him, the slashed visage alight with mad rapture--and some small part of him cried out in horror, a horror that was quickly extinguished by the rising winds. A voice cried out a name--but he had no name, no identity. He was nothing but Death: Death's Avatar, Death's Right Hand, whose only choice was to kill.
"No, it isn't. You don't have to do this, Houjun."
He shook his head, fighting the helpless tears that rose at the sound of that beloved velvet voice. "Yes, I do. He's right; all I've done in the past is kill. Whether by accident or by choice, it makes no difference. I was born to kill!"
"That's not true. You're not a killer, Houjun; that's not what you do."
Houjun increased the velocity of the staff, refusing to allow his mind to play tricks on him. Yet he couldn't help answering the phantom voice. "He's left me no choice!"
"There is always a choice, Houjun. The past is dead and gone. The future has not yet arrived. All you have is this one moment--and in this moment, you can choose to say, 'I will not kill today.'"
Houjun felt the shadows slipping from him, his chants faltering as the killing force faded. The darkness lifted from his vision, and he saw Magus kneeling before him, his features transfigured by madness--and agony. The young magician caught his breath, finally seeing the truth.
This was Magus' legacy: bitterness and pain. If he killed Magus, he would inherit all of the self-hatred, all of the emptiness that would lead him to kill and kill again--until he in turn brought about his own death at the hands of another. The cycle of killing would continue, and the pain would never end.
Houjun lowered his staff. "No. It all ends now--with me. No more. No more killing."
Magus raised his hands to his face and howled in anguish. Tears poured down his ruined face as he curled into himself, a broken, grieving man.
Houjun stared down at Magus with compassion and pity. "If not for you, Doctor," he whispered, "that would have been me. Thank you."
"You're very welcome, Houjun. But you must give credit where it is due, and that is to the strength of your own heart."
Houjun whirled around, not believing the proximity of that beloved voice. To his shock, the Doctor stood before him--dusty, disheveled, but definitely alive, his blue-green eyes shining with vitality. He would have thought himself hallucinating, if not for Joss standing behind the Doctor, a smile of wonder lighting her tear-streaked face.
"Doctor! Doctor, I…" Houjun's throat suddenly closed off with grief. Powerful emotions crashed through his barriers, feelings of pain and loss and relief and joy surging through him so thick and fast that he could hardly breathe. He stretched his hands out, unable to speak--and felt them caught in a strong grip, as he was pulled into a fierce and loving embrace.
"I'm so sorry," whispered the Doctor into the silvery-blue hair, holding Houjun tight against his hearts. "I never wanted to hurt you; I'm so sorry."
Houjun knew that he should stop clinging to the Doctor, but he couldn't seem to make himself let go of the velvet and silk. "I thought," he choked, "I thought you were gone."
"Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you so badly. It's a last-ditch defense mechanism that we time lords have: a feigned death technique that we call 'respiratory bypass.'" The Doctor pushed Houjun back to look in his face but kept a tight hold on his friend's shoulders. "Houjun, I don't mean to be abrupt, but we have an impending disaster on our hands. I promise that I will explain everything to you later, but for now, I must deal with Magus' signal."
"Oh, gods!" Houjun pushed back from the Doctor, embarrassed. "How could I forget?"
"Perfectly understandable, under the circumstances." The Doctor suddenly appeared beside Magus, his eyes narrowed as he bent near the quietly weeping time lord. He listened a moment to Magus' broken mutterings, then straightened, shaking his head. "No help here, I'm afraid. Never mind--hopefully, Magus' TARDIS will respond to my commands."
Joss moved to join Houjun. "That's right, Doctor! Magus had said something to me about accessing files from his TARDIS, but he never said where it was."
"We're standing in it, Joss."
"No way! You mean the entire school is his TARDIS?"
"No, just this one chamber. I could sense the artron energy as soon as I walked through the dwarf star door." The Doctor brushed past them and jumped up to the control console nearest the focusing crystal.
Joss and Houjun raced up to join him, Joss feeling as if she were following a hyperkinetic tour guide. "So Houjun busted through a TARDIS door? Wicked cool!"
Houjun blushed, while the Doctor looked up for a moment, startled. "Did you now, Houjun? That is impressive!" The Doctor returned to his rapid manipulation of the controls, muttering under his breath. "Come now…yes, you don't know me, but all the same, I'm…yes, that's a good girl!"
Raising one eyebrow, Joss sent a questioning look at Houjun, jerking her chin at the Doctor's murmured conversation with the console. At that moment, the dome of the chamber suddenly turned transparent. The view shifted from the expected star-glittered night into a panoramic galaxial view. Ice-crusted comets flashed by, trailing rainbow crystal tails, while rolling chunks of asteroids tumbled past in a lumbering, awkward parade. The spiral swirl of the galaxy glittered above them, turning slowly in its inexorable, millennium-spanning course.
Grinning in delight, Joss elbowed Houjun, who stood transfixed in wonder. "This blows the Planetarium Sky Show outta the water!"
"This is no show, Joss; this is a transdimensional view of--but I need to find our quadrant!" The Doctor's fingers flew over the console, and the view shifted rapidly from star system to star system until it finally settled on a quiet, medium-sized yellow star encircled by colorful planets, situated in a remote spiral arm of the galaxy. "Wrong dimension," muttered the Doctor, squinting at a slight shimmer near the third planet. He pulled a lever, and the view jumped for a moment before settling back to display another yellow-star system.
Joss would have thought that it was the same solar system, but she noted that there were fewer planets circling a slightly larger star. The view focused on the fourth planet from the star, its blue surface shimmering around one large, squarish land mass. She thought that she glimpsed other land masses further on the horizon but was distracted by the Doctor's cry of triumph.
"There!" A shimmering band of blue-green light streaked from the fourth planet on a tangential trajectory out of the solar system. The Doctor's hands danced over the console controls as he coaxed Magus' TARDIS with murmured pleas. Finally, a series of blinding white spheres of energy flashed after the blue-green light, gaining speed with every millisecond. Joss shouted in triumph as the white spheres caught up to the blue streak--then cried out in disappointment as the streak parted, allowing the spheres to pass harmlessly through, before rejoining and continuing on its path.
"Damnation!" The Doctor punched the console in an uncharacteristic display of temper. "The artron energy missiles can't divert the signal! They're on different frequencies, and…" He looked up, his face pale in the bluish light streaming from overhead. "Oh, dear Rassilon," he prayed. "The signal is almost at the dimensional interface. It will cross over in less than ninety seconds of planetary time!"
"Can't we fight fire with fire?" Joss pleaded. "What if I chase down the students and bring them back here?"
"No time!" The Doctor leaped away from the console and jumped up on the restraining platform beneath the focusing crystals. "I have to try to send a beam of psi energy myself! Maybe if I…."
"No!" Houjun strode up to the platform and jumped up beside the time lord. "Get down from there, Doctor. Now!"
"Houjun, there's no other way!"
"I know that, but you don't have sufficient strength. Magus drained you of what psychic power you had. This task falls to me."
The Doctor grasped Houjun's cloak. "You don't understand! Running the focusing crystal in reverse is very dangerous; I have no idea of what effect it will have on a human!"
"I'm not an ordinary human; I'm a celestial warrior. You know that better than anyone." Houjun covered the Doctor's hands with his own, reading the fear in his friend's eyes. "You can't go on protecting me forever, Doctor," he admonished softly. "It's time for me to stand on my own. This is my world, my battle--and my responsibility." He released the Doctor's hands and grinned. "Now get out of my way; I have work to do."
Waves of strong emotion passed over the Doctor's face, but he nodded in acquiescence and jumped down. Houjun met Joss' gaze, her eyes tear-filled but her smile strong, as she saluted him with a raised fist. "Kick ass, Suzaku no Chichiri!"
The Doctor stood once again at the console, as Houjun grasped the broken wires from the crossbar restraints. The magician closed his eye in concentration, gathering and focusing his power, as the dome groaned open in response to the Doctor's command.
Joss stood between the two, her eyes fixed on Houjun and her lips moving in prayer. "Come on, Suzaku, we need some help here! You gave him the power before, so you can damn well boost him now! Come on…Yes!"
Crimson flames once again played along Houjun's outline so that he appeared to crackle with energy. The Doctor turned a knob on the console, and the focusing crystal began to glow. A chiming note sang out from the crystal array, and Houjun tilted his face up, his body tensing in anticipation.
"Now!" shouted the Doctor, and Houjun flung both hands up, letting his head fall back as he cast all of his power at the crystal. The crystal glowed scarlet, its chiming note increasing in pitch and intensity until it rose to a metallic shriek. A white bolt of energy streaked back towards Houjun, and he screamed in agony as he fell back against the crossbars, pinned in place, his hands closing convulsively around the wires.
Joss cried out in horror and rushed at him, but the energy shield flung her back. Houjun's features twisted in pain and a strange ecstasy, as power flowed back and forth between his body and the crystal. Finally, the crystal changed color, glowing with a silvery-blue light, its shriek modulating back to a singing high note. The silver-blue light condensed within the crystal, forming a shining line that shot out from the top of the crystal, escaping into the sky.
The Doctor watched, his hand poised over the controls, as the silver beam closed in on the blue-green streak of psychic energy. Mere milliseconds ahead, a slight shimmer indicated the interface to the parallel dimension. Just as the psychic signal reached the shimmer, the silver beam sliced into it. An explosion of energy lit the TARDIS viewscreen, which dimmed automatically in defense. Tiny splinters of green-blue light shot in every direction, some spiralling back towards the planet, while others passed weakly through the shimmer. The Doctor slammed down all controls, shutting down the crystal, and rushed to the focusing platform, passing Joss, who was struggling to her feet.
He caught Houjun's slumped form in his arms, pulling the melted wires from the magician's singed hands. He tilted the youth's face up, anxiously noting the bruising around his eyes where blood vessels had burst under pressure. "Houjun!"
One mahogany eye opened slowly, meeting his frantic gaze blankly before coming back into focus. "Doctor," he breathed.
"Yes?"
"I've got one mother of a headache."
"Language, Houjun," the Doctor rebuked gently--and the two men burst into laughter, as Joss ran up and embraced them both.
XxX
Finally the three broke apart, grinning at one another. "Now this is as it should be!" exclaimed the Doctor, making Houjun and Joss dissolve into laughter once again.
Joss caught her breath. "So, Doctor, we did it, right? Defeated the baddies and saved the day?"
The Doctor's grin faltered. "Er…I hope so. Time will tell, Joss."
"What do you mean?" Houjun frowned in confusion. "Didn't we intercept the signal?"
"Ye-es. Well, mostly, at least." The Doctor hunched his shoulders under his companions' wide-eyed stares. "We intercepted and dispersed the signal--excellent work, by the way, Houjun--but we didn't entirely destroy it. The signal broke up into tiny fragments, each containing only a microportion of its original composite strength. Most of the fragments remained in this dimension, falling back into this solar system, but I'm afraid that a few may have crossed over into the dark dimension."
"Which means?" Joss pressed.
"I don't know," admitted the Doctor. "It's all a question of chance and luck, I'm afraid. Magus' original signal had the capability to travel deep into the Swarm's dimension, setting off a powerful explosion of psychic energy that was certain to attract the attention of that parasitic race. These fragments, however, are unlikely to travel very far or to attract much attention--unless we have the singular misfortune to have the Swarm scouting the region where these fragments entered."
"And if that misfortune occurs?" Houjun inquired softly, his bruises standing out against his pale face.
"We may yet be in luck. Your dispersal was so powerful, Houjun, that the altered trajectory of the fragments may mask their origin. There are many dimensions in the space-time continuum, and it is no small task to sort through all of them. I very much doubt that any race has the ability to do so, or even to enumerate what might be an infinite number of dimensions." The Doctor bit his lip, looking away from his companions.
Joss narrowed her eyes at him. "So what you're saying is that we won--mostly, kind of, probably--but not for certain."
"Nothing is for certain, not as long as the Swarm exists in any dimension. But we have bought ourselves time, which is all the victory any mortal being can claim, Joss. Anything can happen in time: the Swarm can die out or cannibalize themselves, we can find ways to definitively defeat them, and so on. The important thing is that we have another day in which to live and grow and learn to defend ourselves. So yes, we have won—mostly, kind of, probably." The Doctor grinned at Joss.
Houjun looked past Joss and the Doctor to a dark form huddled quietly in one corner. "And what about him?"
The Doctor turned, his gaze darkening. "He is my responsibility, just as this world is yours. Magus is of my race, my people, and I will deal with him as he deserves."
Joss shuddered at the cold intent in the Doctor's voice. At this moment, even more than the previous night, the Doctor seemed like a stranger to her. An alien.
The Doctor approached the huddled form. "Get up, Magus. Stand up and face me." His tone was harsh, pitiless.
Magus pulled himself to his feet. His scarred visage was expressionless, his eyes dull and weary, showing no fear or regret or emotion at all. Empty, thought Joss, reminded of Maboroshi standing unflinching before Magus just twenty-four hours earlier. Nothing to lose. No reason to care. She fought back a wave of pity, reminding herself of his abuse of Houjun, his willingness to kill her and countless others on this planet.
"Recognize whom you are facing at this moment. I. Am. The. Doctor. Ex-President of the High Council of Time Lords. Keeper of the Legacy of Rassilon. Defender of the Laws of Time. Protector of Gallifrey. I call you to account for your attempted infractions against this dimension, for your forbidden transgressions into proscribed dimensions, and for your violations of the Gallifreyan laws of time."
Magus' eyes briefly glinted with irony. He kept silent, however, standing motionless before his accuser.
"For these crimes, but most of all, for the pain you have personally inflicted upon the sentient being known as Ri Houjun," the Doctor's voice softened, "and for the pain you have inflicted upon yourself, I pass judgment upon you."
The Doctor straightened, his voice ringing out, reverberating off the walls of the chamber. "I find you guilty of all of these crimes...and I sentence you--to Life."
Magus flinched, his mouth opening in a soundless cry of denial. The Doctor moved closer, his eyes burning into Magus. "I sentence you to live. I sentence you to remember, to weep and rage and bleed. I sentence you to take those memories and learn from them, to build a life that honors those whom you have lost."
Magus collapsed to his knees, hiding his wounded face in his hands. "No," he sobbed softly, brokenly. "No…"
Above him resounded the Doctor's voice, his words solemn, weighty, as if he were speaking a prophecy. "This is your penance. You cannot escape; you cannot run from this existence--until you fulfill your destiny. Your destiny is to become a light in the darkness. Your atonement is to use your knowledge and your experience to lead others out of their suffering instead of into it. Only then will you find peace. Look at me, Magus."
Magus raised aching, tear-blurred eyes to see the Doctor standing over him, extending one hand.
"Take my hand." His tones had changed, becoming soft, velvety with comfort. "Let me take you to a place where you can rest, to a man who can help you heal. For once in your lives, trust in something other than your pain." His voice was gentle, persuasive. "Trust me."
Magus grimaced, closing his eyes—then opened them wide, searching the Doctor's face, probing his mind. The Doctor stood with his hands out, palms up, accepting the intrusion, answering the unspoken questions. Finally Magus took a deep breath and grasped the Doctor's hands, pulling himself up. The time lords faced one another, communing in some silent language unheard by their awestruck witnesses.
Magus finally broke the silence. "My TARDIS?" he asked hoarsely.
The Doctor shook his head regretfully. "No, I'm sorry. She must remain here, healing apart from you. You are feeding one another's pain, exacerbating each other's wounds. Someday, when you are ready--I will bring you back."
Magus lowered his head in reluctant acquiescence.
The Doctor turned and met Joss and Houjun's stunned expressions. "I must leave you now, but I will return, I promise. I must take Magus to a safe place and retrieve my TARDIS, and…"
His words faded as a brilliant scarlet light engulfed both time lords, making Joss and Houjun shield their eyes from the blinding glare. When they lowered their hands, the space where Magus and the Doctor had stood was empty.
Houjun turned troubled eyes to Joss. "He's telling the truth, isn't he? He will be back soon, right?"
Joss shook her head. "Nobody tells me a damn thing around here!" she groused. "I'm just as much in the dark as you, Houjun—but hey! He'd better come back, 'cause he's my ride home!"
XxX
XxX
Glossary of Japanese Terms:
Fusege! - Stop! Hold!
Hanase, ima! - Release, now!
Glossary of Gallifreyan terms:
TARDIS: Time and Relative Dimensions in Space; the acronym for the space-time vehicles of time lords
XxX
Author's Notes: (9-8-04) Well, it's been a long time, hasn't it? I don't even want to mention how many months--but let's just say a couple of seasons have passed since the last Bridge update.(Snow and ice, anyone?) I know that nothing can be worth that long of a wait, but I hope that this chapter entertained you for a bit, at least.
There is a very important acknowledgment that needs to go right here at the start of this note--and that is to my faithful and tireless beta-readers, who have edited THREE manuscripts of this chapter. So please send thoughts of gratitude to the ever-astute Ryuen, joined in this task by the elusive (yet still breathing) Purple Mouse!
Now for those of you who have followed me since White Stones, you may have noticed something that is glaringly absent from Bridge, and yet present in all of my other works. Can any of you guess? Oh, yes--the Dreaded Akugi!
The darker nature of Bridge has not loaned itself to silly puns and giddy humor--until now, that is. Chapter Seventeen in particular offered some rare opportunities for fun, but I abstained from akugis (or any author notes, really) because I didn't want to disrupt The Drah-ma! However, this is a whole new chapter and a whole new day!
The first akugi is really a Real-Life Incident that illustrates what a dreadful task it is to Edit Roku. My beta readers present me with gentle criticisms, only to receive in return…well, here's an example of our correspondence on Bridge 18.
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Roku's First Draft:
"You dare!" snarled Houjun. "You dare recruit me for your fanatical schemes while the body of the man you killed lies in the dust behind me!"
Ryuen's comments: "Fanatical schemes" sounds a little Batman & Robin, I'm afraid. But I like the idea of it, so if you could find another way to say it…yeah. (nod)
Purple Mouse's comments: Yeah, it's a little B-movie-ish.
i
Roku's Second Draft:
"You dare!" snarled Houjun. "You dare recruit me for your dastardly plots while the body of the man you killed lies in the dust behind me!"
Magus straightened, his form infused with renewed purpose. "In the war against evil, there are always necessary sacrifices." He raised his arm abruptly, deflecting another of Houjun's psychic assaults. "Will you continue to carry on in this infantile manner? You waste our time with these crude attacks, while the fate of millions hangs in the balance! There are greater consequences at stake than the life of any one man!"
"Not for me." Houjun lowered his staff, bringing himself back under control. "When you killed him, you made yourself my archenemy! There will be no peace between us ever. Not even for the sake of these supposed millions!"
"'Supposed' millions? Do you imagine that I am joking about the threat to this world?"
"Yes, I do think you're joking--because I know your True Identity! You are--The Joker!"
"Bwahahahahaha! Too late, Caped Crusader! I will now kill you with this immensely complex Rube Goldberg Device that will send a spinning drill bit through your brain while tormenting you with feather dusters!"
Joss jumped up. "Holy Kama Sutra, Batman! What a twisted application of the pleasure-pain principle!"
"Never fear, Robin! I will thwart the megalomaniacal schemes of this…megalomaniac by use of my Secret Rube-Goldberg-Drill-Bit-Disarmament Device that I just happened to have secreted in the secret sleeve of my Batsuit!" Houjun threw back his cape, er, cloak.
Joss let out a whistle. "Whoa, Batman, nice spandex! I like the codpiece as well!"
Houjun frowned, confused. "But I'm not wearing a codpiece, Joss."
Joss punched the air. "Whoo-hooooooo!"
i
Ryuen: Grrrr! I had some serious moments of terror when I thought that "dastardly plots" was real!
Purple Mouse: And "archenemy" too! That woman has serious issues!
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BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See what horrors my betas have to put up with? It took me a whole week to get the Casting Stones muse out of my "Bridge" mindset!
Okay now, this next akugi is NOT for my Hard-Core Bridge/Drama fans. This is a warning for Anyone Who Does Not Like Implications of Slash: You won't like this akugi, so end your "Bridge"-ing experience now with fond memories of Chapter Eighteen.
How-ev-er: To my slash-addicted friends (and you know who you are), this one's for you! I fondly dedicate this next akugi in your honor: A Salute to a Pivotal Scene in Bridge Seventeen!
i
Joss: Listen, Houjun, you know that I love you--so understand where I'm coming from when I say, GET OVER IT! He's the Doctor, he's our friend, our saviorwhat difference does it make what planet he's from, or what's in his past?
Houjun: You don't understand! (voice trembling) It makes no difference at all! But he invaded my mind and tampered with my thoughts, making me see him as something foreign, something alien…when all along, he knew, as I know, that we were one!
He continues, his eye bright with unshed tears, his voice vibrating with passion.
Houjun: We are one: I have slept on those hearts; in those arms, I have found comfort and warmth! He has been my salvation in every way possible--and even now, he has pushed me away to protect me, shielding me as if I were a child, as if I were his--!
Joss: Whoa, whoa, whoa…back up a minute there. What do you mean, you've slept on the Doctor? What exactly has been going on between you two?
Houjun: (flushing) It wasn't like that! I fell in the river, and he pulled me out! I was nearly freezing to death, so he…
Joss: (eyes bright) Uh-huh. I'm listening; go on.
Houjun: (grumbling) Just forget it!
Joss: Sorry, can't! So…what were you wearing at the time?
Houjun: (scarlet) Um…my clothes were all wet, so--
Joss: (ecstatic) And what was the Doctor wearing?
Houjun: Um, actually…
Joss: Whoo-hooooooo! I wanna be the Peanut Butter in that Manwich!
Houjun: - -;;
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Ah, yes…it's a bad mistake for me to write author notes at 3 AM. Oh, well, I hope you enjoyed this outing (no pun intended), and I will be back soon, I hope, with the next installment of Bridge!
Ja ne!
Roku
