Thanks so much for reviewing, my lovelies! I'll try and keep future chapters coming whenever I have chances to update. :)

Title: Not Myself

Author: BAS1630 (a.k.a Rachel)

Pairing: None as yet. Main character is going to be Spike.

Rating: Hmmmm.... I always suck at guessing this... My guess would be
anything from PG-13 to R. I doubt very much that it'll be NC-17, since
there's no graphic sex going to be depicted (sowwy).

Category: Humor, Hopefully Action later on... maybe even Romance....?? ;-)

Word Count: 917

Completed: No, WIP.

Feedback: Yes, please!!!! However, please RR but be somewhat gentle. As I read somewhere once, flames will be used to toast my stash of smores. :)

Warnings: Um, spoilers for early Season 5 Angel, I guess.

Summary: It's obviously AU, so if the characters seem a tad OOC...
that's my excuse! :) Not Myself By Rachel

Fred tapped gently on the bathroom door once more.

"Spike, come out please?"

She had repeated this mantra so many times since Spike had locked himself in there, Angel eventually lost count.

Once the gravity of the situation had hit him.... Or her.... the individual in question had emitted a strangled noise and flew through the doors dividing Angel's office to his private apartments, barricading herself in Angel's bathroom.

Where they continued to stay, and had yet to emerge.

"No." Came the muffled yet still resolute response.

"Listen, we have to figure out why this happened. And if maybe you're even still a vampire. You might be a human..." She seemed about to add 'woman' to the end of her sentence, but appeared to think better of it.

"I'm not." The voice unmistakably still had its Cockney twinge, but was undeniably female.

"How do you know?"

A pause.

"No reflection."

Fred sighed and leaned more fully against the door. Looking at the three men surrounding her, she gave them a look that clearly said help me.

Angel sighed and stepped closer to the door.

"Spike, the sooner we figure out what's happened, the sooner we'll be able to reverse it. So act like a.... just grow up and get out here."

The door flew open (which made Fred fall back with a startled yelp), and a petite blonde tornado launched itself at Angel without warning, pushing at him with tiny fists.

"You..... you pillock! You did this to me!! Never using that thick Cro-Magnon head of yours! What were you thinking, reading that thing?! I always knew you were a tosser, but this is too much!" She ended with a shrill shriek and a final shove to accentuate her words.

Fred simply gaped at the figure during her tirade, her hands unconsciously raised to her mouth as she studied the other woman.

"Oh, Spike!" she managed, unable to help herself.

The figure whirled on her, "What?!"

"You're so........ pretty!"

Angel found himself also goggling the individual, and not due to the surprise assault.

Fred was right.... Angel hadn't had a chance to really take note of the figure's appearance at the initial shock of her entrance, but she was indeed quite pretty.

In fact, Angel would go so far as to say that Spike was beautiful.

The hair hadn't maintained its color or texture.... now it was more of a dirty blonde tint of platinum rather than pure, and had lengthened to cascade over the woman's delicate shoulders in slight curly tendrils.

The face had changed considerably as well: the mouth (which was currently pulled up into a snarl) was now less crude and more shapely construct into a Cupid's Bow.

The eyebrows had also changed shape, and were now shapely upside-down 'V' arches, yet the left one still maintained its trademark scar.

The cheekbones were one of the most prominent features of the face, and had sharpened somewhat to the point where they might have been able to cut paper with. Had they been any more defined, the effect might have made the face appear somewhat gaunt.

The only facial feature that remained unchanged were the blue eyes, which were blazing with fury.

And the slim and lithe body was still draped with Spike's (now incredibly oversized) trademark ensemble of black T and jeans, but had an unmistakable womanly shape...

... Angel was trying his best not to notice the body.

In short, the woman bore enough resemblance to Spike to be disconcerting... such as that of a female relative.

But for the most part, traits of Spike with a 'Y' chromosome had left the building.

The woman had turned slightly away from Angel to face Fred, whose last comment seemed to make a rush of color flood to her cheeks. Wordlessly, she turned heel and marched smartly back into the bathroom, shutting the door once more with a considerable slam.

As that door closed the entrance to Angel's quarters opened, and as he made his way towards them Wesley nodded towards Spike's current sanctuary.

"How is he?"

"Still the ray of sunshine he was when you left." Angel rubbed the bridge of his nose as he regarded Wesley. "What did they say?"

Wesley sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he sat next to Lorne and Gunn on the king-sized bed.

"Not much, they were irritatingly cryptic. Just that they couldn't reveal the purpose of the spell or the ring or else it would prove fruitless." Wesley crossed his arms and shrugged. "All they would confirm is that the two serve a purpose and are indeed interconnected."

A metallic clink was heard within the confines of the bathroom. Angel realized that the person behind the door had ripped off the mentioned ring on their now-more-slender finger and had chucked it across the bathroom tiles.

"Did it work?" Angel called.

The door opened a crack to reveal a still more-than-girlish face.

"What do you think?" She hissed before once again slamming the door.

Lorne rose from the bed and rhythmically rapped on the door.

"Spike sugar, you have to come out sooner or later."

"Why?"

"Well, for one you're going to need a change of clothes at some point. What you have on is about 4 sizes too big for you right now."

Suddenly the sound of running water was heard, which caused those outside to look at eachother in confusion.

"I think he's trying to drown himself." Gunn supplied helpfully.