So sorry that my chapters are so short and sparse as of late... but I have to keep them that way for fear of not updating frequently enough!
I love the reviews, but not nearly as much as I love all of you!! :)
Title: Not Myself
Author: BAS1630 (a.k.a Rachel)
Pairing: None as yet. Main character is going to be Spike.
Rating: Hmmmm.... I always suck at guessing this... My guess would be
anything from PG-13 to R. I doubt very much that it'll be NC-17, since
there's no graphic sex going to be depicted (sowwy).
Category: Humor, Hopefully Action later on... maybe even Romance....?? ;-)
Completed: No, WIP.
Feedback: Yes, please!!!! However, please RR but be somewhat gentle. As I read somewhere once, flames will be used to toast my stash of smores. :)
Warnings: Um, spoilers for early Season 5 Angel, I guess.
that's my excuse! :)
Notes: I collect quotes like a pack rat, so if you think you might recognize something... you just might. :) The majority of it is really mine though... I swear!!
Rap. Rap. Rap. Rap.
Angel closed his eyes and counted to ten.
Rap. Rap. Rap. Rap. Rappity Rap.
"Could you not do that?"
Spike raised her eyebrows and lifted her fingers from the desk in the Retreat's lobby.
"Have our panties in a bunch, do we?"
"I wouldn't know. I'm not the one wearing any."
"Neither am I."
"I can't remember... were you actually this disgusting when we met?"
Angel turned his head at the lack of an answer, and caught Spike with her elbow propped on the desk. Her face was cupped in her hand and she was watching a retreating redhead's exit across the room.
Complete with Spike's head tilt it was quite obvious what she found so intriguing about the other girl, and Angel choked down a noise of exasperation.
Angel elbowed Spike hard enough to send her propped elbow skittering.
"What now?" She growled.
"Cut it out," Angel whispered in a tone only for vampire senses. "You're being too obvious. You're going to make someone suspicious."
"Oh, I see!" She snorted and raised her voice a few decibels.
"What's wrong, Angel? Don't want people to know you've turned the tastiest bit in here into an active and raving lesbian?"
A passing couple within earshot slowed their pace and shot the two vampires curious glances.
Angel did his best to laugh as realistically as possible as if he was simply a man whose paramour had just said something incredibly amusing. Seemingly satisfied, the couple once more quickened their pace and hurried on.
Once the humans were out of earshot Angel wiped the false smile from his features and refocused his wrath on Spike.
"Draw attention to us like that again, and I swear that I'll take your tongue and strangle you with it before I rip off your ears and shove them up your..."
"Good evening." Angel's train of thought was broken by the sudden reappearance of the bellhop. "I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, but the individual who usually handles our reservations is... indisposed, at the moment."
"Oh, that's quite alright." Spike squeezed Angel's arm and dug her nails in deep enough to draw blood. "He was just whispering sweet nothings into my ear, is all. Well- my ears were mentioned." She smiled at Angel.
Angel smiled back. One. Two. Three. Four.
The bellhop beamed politely at them and turned to his computer monitor. "Well, I'm so sorry for the inconvenience... but I've been looking all through our records with the information you supplied me earlier... and it would appear that you're nowhere to be found within the system. Without a reservation, there's no way that we could accommodate you. Again, my apologies."
Angel inwardly heaved a sigh. Thank you, Wesley.
But before Angel could say a word, Spike had her arms folded and had propped nearly half of her body across the counter. She tossed her hair and smiled at the bellhop engagingly.
Angel found himself studying her intently. She wasn't. Was she?
"Oh, I'm sorry about that. I told my husband to take care of it for me months ago, but I'm sure it slipped his... mind. He just isn't good at keeping track of things like some men. What was your name again?"
She was. Holy crap.
Angel hid his face from view as he felt the human's body temperature go up a few degrees.
"Derek."
"Derek." She breathed the name as if it were a caress. "I like it. It suits you."
Derek flushed crimson and shrugged.
"So Derek... I'm not asking you to buck against the system that employs you, because that would be wrong. I wouldn't usually ask this of anyone- if it weren't for the fact that we've been traveling for awhile and I'm tired. Is there any way you could help us out so that we don't have to go scouting out other lesser establishments all night?"
She rested her hand on his shoulder, as if with the pretense of straightening his lapel.
"Please, Derek?" She stuck out her lip in a prominent pout.
Derek's face broke into a full-fledged grin as he emitted a schoolboy chuckle, obviously weakened.
Angel cast about to see if there was anything handy nearby to retch in.
Derek ducked his head and peeked up at her in a playful manner.
"Well... I suppose I could ask Mr. Nakamura if there are any unconfirmed cancellations... we usually have one or two."
Spike clasped her hands as if supremely grateful. "Oh Derek, that would be wonderful. You're a prince!"
Derek made a motion as if to wave her praise away and walked off as if treading on clouds.
As soon as he had rounded the corner, Spike turned back to Angel, her lips curled in immense distaste.
"Men are so easy." She spat out in disgust.
Before Angel could even register the rapid change in mood, Spike's eyes had widened to the size of saucers as she gazed passed Angel's shoulder. She gasped so loud that Angel found himself nearly starting in surprise, before he was grabbed forcibly and roughly planted in front of Spike.
"What?" He hissed from his new vantage point of looking out over the lobby's moderately sized crowd.
"Shut up." She hissed back. "They'll see me."
"Who?" Angel searched the faces, but there wasn't one that he recognized. Certainly no one that seemed capable of causing Spike such distress.
Well, knowing Spike maybe it was...
"Just shut up and keep using your massive hulk of a body to keep them from seeing me."She continued breathing as two figures split off from the crowd and approached the desk.
