HIII! My first story, woo hoo! I'm writing this because I need something to channel my hyper energy into, so whether you like it or not I'm gonna keep writing and posting chapters! Oh yeah, and that longer summary I promised!
Harry is pretty crazy and stuff in this story. He get's bored, so he asks the author to give him something to do. She sends him, his friends, some of my friends, and a few other random characters on a quest for the Golden Spork! Hilarity ensues along the way. Enjoy!
Ah, so this is where our twisted tale of random hyper-active humor begins....
Well, we all know Harry. Twisted little boy he is.
One day, he sat staring moodily out his bedroom window feeling just plain SHITTY and BAD about the stink beast muggles and all that other crazy shit that he always thinks about. Sirius, Ginny, navel itches, Ginny again, Hogwarts, cheese...mmm cheese, and yeah. Ya know, aaaaall that good stuff. Wait, is that stuff shitty? Ah well, who cares.
He got up and crossed the room over to his bed and picked up his teddy, Mr. Fuck.
"Mr. Fuck, what should I do for fun today?" he asked the bear.
"...." was Mr. Fuck's response. But of course to Harry, he was speaking something clearly offensive.
"WELL FUCK YOU BEAR! YOU TELL LIEEEEES! LIEEEEES! YOU LINT INFESTED PIECE OF SHIT!" he screeched, throwing the bear across the room into the wall. He suddenly collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor after his little episode.
You see, Harry has been reading too many Johnny the Homicidal Maniac comics recently that he stole from that drunken hobo down at the WalMart. You may be slightly confused as to how Harry ended up in his, um.....wacky stat-
"WACKY?! DID YOU JUST CALL ME WACKY?! DIE SHIT-HOG!!" Harry bellowed out to the author as he pulled out his wand and pointed it around the room like a dumbass.
"Sigh....dumbass. You can't use fuckin magic on me because, well, you just can't. Because I pwn you. So there. BEGONE!" stated the author (Loku) as a magical force snapped Harry's wand in two.
"NOOO! You evil.....thingy!" Harry cried in anguish as he cradled the remains of his wand.
"Well thats what you get for being a crazy dickweed," said Loku, casually munching on a muffin.
"But...but I still haven't figured out what to do for fun!" he once wailed.
"Weeeeeell...." Loku pondered this, thinking of what to do for the whiny little boy. "How about I send you and all your little friends on a magical little adventure?"
"YAAAAAAY!" Harry squealed with delight as he was soon skipping about the room like a gay little pansy boy.
"...OK stop skipping! YEESH!" Loku said with disgust.
She soon congured up Harry's best little buddies from Hogwarts along with a few other random cartoon characters and friends that Loku decided would be fun to add in.
Ron, Hermione, Ginny, GIR, Dr. Hobo, Gary the Snail, Mimi, Kyuki, and Freddy Jones appeared in Harry's dingy bedroom out of thin air.
"Whoa dude, tight! It's that Harry Potter dude! Can I drum on your head?!" Freddy AKA "Spazzy McGee" spazzed out entirely and began beating random things with his drum sticks.
GIR began running around the room screaming about tacos, while Dr. Hobo started poking Gary with an empty bottle of hooch.
"OMGZ DR. HOBO! I LOVE YOU! LETS FUCK!" screamed Mimi as she threw herself at the deranged hobo.
And of course, Ron and Hermione just started making out on the bed while Ginny stood nearby...puking. A lot. Oh, and saying obnoxious immiture crap like, "GET A ROOM!" and "GROSS!"
"Um, what about this little adventure thingy?" questioned Harry amongst the chaos.
"OH YEAH! THAT!" Loku said, slapping her forehead in realization. "Well, I could use some groceries. And maybe you could pick up my dry cleaning. That would be nice,"
"WE ISNT GETTIN NO FNUCKIN GROSHREYS! LAY OFF DA HOOCH MAN!" shouted the crazed Dr. Hobo as he smashed a bottle of hooch on the ground. "THE HOOCH!" he cried as he pounced to the ground and started slurping the hooch off the floor. "AHG! GLAFF IN TEEF!" he once again cried, bits of glass stuck in his mangled beard and rotting teeth, dripping blood everywhere.
"DAMN YOU PEOPLE! Fine, you can quest for the Golden Spork!" cried a slightly irritated Loku.
"YAAAAY! SPORKS!" cheered Mimi and Kyuki as they started running around chanting about sporks.
"Well spank my ass and call me Debbie! This is gonna be great!" said Harry (Debbie).
"OK, Debbie!" said Kyuki as she swatted Harry's ass with a giant mallet.
Loku's friend Claireese suddenly popped her head in the window, "I LIKE HOBOS!" and then left.
"OKIE DOKIE THEN!" Mimi said shrilly as she grabbed Kyuki's arm and the group departed from Privet Drive to quest for the mystical Golden Spork!!!
When the crowd was finally out of sight, Loku sank into a chair and sighed with relief. "Finally some time to myself to relax and eat muff--WHERE THE HELL ARE MY MUFFINS?!"
Loku stormed around the room cursing loudly while Mimi and Kyuki snickered in the distance, having succesfully stolen Loku's muffins.
And so the plot begins! Yay! Review if you want 3
