-gasp- What was the creepy thingy in the forest? :0 Well read on to find out!


Whatever was in the forest that Harry was pointing at suddenly leaped high into the air and landed with a dull thud on the ground. It quickly recovered and grined stupidly at everyone.

"HOLY CHEESE! XANDIR?!?! YAAAY XANDIR!" Loku swooned as the homosexual hawt hero guy came into view.

"Yes, it is I! Xandir P. Whipplebottom--"

"Pfft, Whipplebottom! HAHAHA!" Ron snickered. Loku proptly whacked him over the head with a weasle and continued to gawk at Xandir.

Xandir obviously didn't hear this comment, for he continued on with his proclamation, "And I am on a never ending quest to save my BOYfriend!"

Loku clapped enthusiastically after Xandir's manifesto. Silence. More Silence.

"Heehee, Grapes are fun!" squealed Xandir as he suddenly started lightly tossing grapes into the air.

"Eh, hate to break it to you, but you're in the wrong story. This is the quest for the Golden Spork," explained Hermione

"Really? Aw damn. Well, I guess I'll be on my way on my never ending quest to save m--"

"NOOO! XANDIR CAN BE IN THE STORY! PLEEEASE LET HIM STAY! HE'S MY PRECCCCIOUS!" Loku cried pathetically as she gripped Xandir's ankle.

Xandir gazed down into Loku's huge, blue eyes swimming in tears. "Could--Could this be it? Could this be--love?!" A huge, hopeful smile took over Loku's face.

"No, wait. I forgot, I'm gay! Oh well, toodles!" he said, and suddenly a vine appeared out of no where and he swung off to continue his never ending quest to--well you know.

"NOOO! XANDIR! I LOOOOVE YOU!" screamed Loku. "God damnit, this is my story! I'm supposed to make up the god damn plot! Ah well, he's gay anyway so meh. Whatever,"

"Well maybe if SOMEBODY hadn't laughed at his damn name then he might not be gay!" accused Hermione.

"What the hell? That doesn't have to do with anyth--"

"WELL MAYBE IF SOMEBODY WASN'T SO BLOODY SMART WE WOULD BE EATING POTATOES RIGHT NOW!" Ron roared back.

"Wait, that still makes no sen--"

Hermione grabbed Dr. Hobo's bottle of hooch, smashed it on a tree, and directed it at Ron, "ALRIGHT BITCH BRING IT ON!"

"GLADLY!" he retorted, clutching a lightsaber.

"Ooo...shiney! Where the hell did you get a lightsaber?" asked Loku.

Ron ignored Loku's question, as both Hermione and Ron lunged at each other to attack.

"Wait, weren't they just snogging each other senseless in the last chapter?" stated a confused Harry.

"Yeah, but I decided to split them up for a little bit. They were a little bit too um, graphic for my taste," Loku clarified.

"Couldn't you have just made them less "graphic" as you put it, since ya know, you're the "almighty author" and all," reasoned Ginny.

"Now why the hell would I do something logical like that?" Loku replied. "Besides, this is much more entertaining!"

"True," she responded as she watched Ron and Hermione going at it like wild dogs, and I mean in a violent way mind you.

Mimi suddenly popped into the conversation, "Since you sent us on this little "quest", then you must know where the Golden Spork is, right?"

"Well, eh not really. Dr. Hobo was the one who told me about the Golden Spork in the first place," she replied. The group looked over at the delirious hobo, he flashed them a thumbs up.

"So any ideas on where to look for this Golden Spork?" some random member of the group asked.

"Oooo! Oooo! I know! We should go to our guild on Neopets and look there for clues n shit!" said Kyuki.

"OK, we'll go to the guild! YEAH! Besides, the guild pwns so we should just go there for the hell of it," agreed Loku.

And so, the group trooped off to go to the Insane Spamming Hobos of Sporks guild.


 I know, so short. But next chappie (REVIEW) will be longer, I promise! WHEE! What happ(REVIEW)ened to Ron and Hermy? Will they find the Golden Spork?(REVIEW)Why am I asked you all this? All these questions and more will (HAVE YOU REVIEWED YET?!)be revealed in the next installment of HP and the Quest for the Golden Spork! Now do what the subliminal messages tell you to do and REVIEW! NOW!