Chapter Nine

Surprise!

Professor McGonagall climbed up the steps to the stage and walked to center stage. A magical spotlight followed her movements as she approached. She cleared her throat and magnified her voice magically. "Our next song will be performed by none other than your own headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore."

A collective gasp erupted through the hall as the headmaster stood up from his seat at the judges' table and started toward the stage, thanking McGonagall for his introduction. When he finally reached center stage, he looked out at the mass of students sitting before him. A broad smile spread across his lips. Then he looked down at his robes of deep purple. His smile faltered and he shook his head.

He raised a hand and snapped his fingers. Instantly, the robes changed into a pair of loose blue jeans and a cotton sweater the same color as his robes were. His tall hat turned into a purple golfer's cap and his dragonhide boots transformed into worn purple Nike sneakers.

He nodded curtly and looked back at his students, whose mouths were all dropped open in amazement at seeing their headmaster in muggle clothing. Not only that, he'd done quite well dressing himself. And to top it all off, the man was about to sing! His eyes twinkled happily and he cleared his throat. He waved his wand above him and music started playing.

When his cue came, he cleared his throat and started singing.

"I am the very model of an ancient Hogwarts headmaster.

I've seen our students go through here and come out master spell-casters.

I know the founders of our school, can recite their names much faster

Than I can sing along with this, this song is a disaster.

I asked Minerva, "Help me, please, up there." She said no, blast her.

I know Transfiguration, though at Potions I'm not master.

I'll leave that up to Severus, he's better at mixing than I.

I make a mess and get distressed when potion-making I do try."

Suddenly a disembodied chorus started singing.

"He makes a mess and gets distressed when potion-making he does try."

Dumbledore's hands sat on his hips and he said "There was no need to repeat that." But the invisible chorus sang again,

"He makes a mess and gets distressed when potion-making he does try.

He makes a mess and gets distressed when potion-making he does try."

Dumbledore shrugged and went back to singing.

"I've done some work on alchemy with my old schoolmate, Nic Flamel.

And I do wish that Tom Riddle would go away and rot in hell.

I love teaching here at this school and crank out master spell-casters.

I am the very model of an ancient Hogwarts Headmaster."

The invisible chorus came in again, and Dumbledore sighed.

"He loves teaching here at this school and cranks out master spell-casters.

He is the very model of an ancient Hogwarts Headmaster."

"Quite right," said Dumbledore.

"I know our mythic history, Sirs Slytherin and Gryffindor,

With Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff that mentions out founders four.

I knew good Merlin from my schooling here at Hogwarts in my youth.

Don't believe me? Veritaserum would show you I tell the truth.

Yes, I've told tall tales in my time, but Merlin was a pal of mine.

Extraordinary gentleman, yes, I would say one of a kind.

But as this song is about me, I'll not bore you with history.

Though seeing as I'm so darn old, my life must seem a mystery."

The invisible chorus repeated Dumbledore,

"Though seeing as he's so darn old, his life must seem a mystery.

Though seeing as he's so darn old, his life must seem a mystery.

Though seeing as he's so darn old, his life must seem a mystery."

Dumbledore shook his head and continued singing.

"I'm not so good with muggle things like chemistry and Calculus

But ask for something magical, that I can do without a fuss.

I love teaching here at this school and crank out master spell-casters.

I am the very model of an ancient Hogwarts Headmaster."

In came the disembodied voices,

"He loves teaching here at this school and cranks out master spell-casters.

He is the very model of an ancient Hogwarts Headmaster."

Dumbledore grinned and sang on.

"I don't like boasting 'bout myself, though this song is demanding it.

And writing lyrics is quite hard, but I still tried my hand at it.

I am headmaster and I command the Order of the Phoenix

And I must say, since I have time, I love those muggle "magic" tricks.

I've lived my life a long time, yes, for centuries you can be sure.

But to the well-organized mind death is the next great adventure.

Now my ego would love if when I'm through, you'd kindly clap your hands.

I'd like to think it's almost time to stop my song, though it's grand."

Dumbledore sighed again as the disembodied voice sang,

"He'd like to think it's almost time to stop his song, though it's grand.

He'd like to think it's almost time to stop his song, though it's grand.

He'd like to think it's almost time to stop his song, though it's grand."

Dumbledore puffed up his chest and took a breath.

"I see you're waiting quietly for the next act so I will go,

Since you may get impatient soon, I'll leave you, but so you know.

Yes, I love teaching at this school and crank out master spell-casters.

I am the very model of an ancient Hogwarts headmaster."

The invisible chorus came in for the last time.

"Yes, he loves teaching at this school and cranks out master spell-casters.

He is the very model of an ancient Hogwarts headmaster."

The headmaster bowed deeply to his students as soon as the voices were finished singing and the music ended. The Great Hall exploded in applause for Dumbledore. His eyes twinkled and he said, "Thank you." He snapped his fingers and the plum colored robes he'd been wearing when he took the stage reappeared, although if anyone had looked closely enough, the Nikes were not replaced by dragon-hide boots. He turned and walked off the stage. As he sat down next to his fellow judges, Professor McGonagall leaned over to him.

"You never asked me to help you with anything. I would have willingly!" She looked at Dumbledore indignantly.

"I know Minerva, dear," said Dumbledore, eyes twinkling. "But it fit in the song, so it stayed." He grinned at her.

She turned back to look at the stage grumpily. Seamus climbed the steps again. "Thank you very much, Headmaster! That was marvelous!" Seamus grinned at Dumbledore, who smiled back.

Then Seamus turned back to his fellow students. "Now for the next act…

~*~TBC~*~