Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. cries
Title: Hot blooded - chapter 3: Stuck with you
Author: Purrfectly679 - e-mail for comments and suggestions, and for mailing list enquiries. Feedback highly appreciated.
Rating: R, bad language, sarcasm, Naru x ? , SasuNaru, KakaNaru, InoNaru, SakuNaru
Notes: Dudes, I'm so, so, so sorry for not updating in such a long time. I've been at uni, and omg it's so hectic… and omg… (faints)
But I'm off for Xmas now, so expect more frequent updates! And before I forget, thank you so much for your support. I went through a bad patch while starting out at uni, and your reviews and comments really cheered me up! I love you guys :)
Dedication? To kayoko. I love you – thanks for everything sweetie! (hug hug)
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It was dark… It was windy… And it was cold.
And unknown to most people, Naruto had always hated the cold. He hated it more than anything in the world – even more than waking up extremely hungry, only to discover that his never ending supply of ramen had somehow run out... He supposed that it had something to do with the Kyuubi residing within him – after all, foxes and demons were always spiritually linked with heat and fire… So he guessed that if he ever did have a weakness (being mortal kinda had that unwanted side-effect), it would most probably be related to the cold and ice…
Then again, maybe all that mystical crap was just a figment of his warped imagination.
But thinking about it now, the blonde boy decided that he didn't hate the cold – he absolutely loathed it! It was strange really, because it wasn't as if he were physically affected - he wasn't even shivering for god's sake! But for some reason, his entire body felt numb - as if he had just stood outside in a snowstorm for 2 hours or something ridiculously stupid like that…
And the numbness was starting to hurt.
Naruto sighed wearily – he just hoped that the symptom was nothing but an unwelcome side-effect of the day's hectic events… And what a day it had been! Not only did he return from a 2 month mission to find his apartment repossessed, but he also discovered that his new housemate was none other than the anti-social, antipathetic, anti-everything Uchiha Sasuke! And if that wasn't bad enough, his former teacher had just kissed him!
And on the lips goddamn it!
Hence the reason why he was currently walking behind an obviously irate Uchiha, with his tail stuck between his legs.
"Ne, Sasuke…"
The situation was actually quite astounding… Just how did one person, who hardly spoke on a good day, manage to make silence feel so damn uncomfortable?
"Ne, Sasuke…" Naruto repeated, a little louder this time. The silence was starting to become deafening, and we all know how much the blonde hated silence.
The dark-haired boy continued walking.
"Sasukeee…!"
No reply.
The smaller boy bit back a sob – he didn't like being ignored. And contrary to popular belief, the blonde absolutely hated it when Sasuke was angry with him. Needless to say, he had his fair share of annoying the dark-haired boy in the past, but there was a very big difference between anger and annoyance. And this time… This was different… This time, Sasuke was angry.
Sasuke was really, really angry.
"…You didn't have to hit Kaka-sensei so hard, you know…" Naruto murmured quietly, once the silence became overwhelming again (which took a grand total of 5 seconds). Sure, their teacher had done a stupid thing, but didn't he always do stupid things like that? And now the poor man had an extra broken nose added to his numerous cuts and bruises…
And to think that he had actually looked quite handsome underneath the mask…
"And I know you've gotten stronger," the blonde continued his one-sided conversation, but hey – when has that ever stopped him before? "But you didn't have to stuff him inside that trash can…"
Even if the sight was pretty funny…
"And I don't think sealing the lid on with your fire jutsu was really necessary…"
Naruto idly wondered how the hell the jounin was going to get out of that predicament… Or whether getting out was possible at all. After all – the lid did look as if it had been welded on pretty tight… And what happens if the garbage disposal people mistake him for common trash?
Will he be squished in one of those garbage squishers? Or will he die from suffocation first?
"And -"
The blonde's next words were cut off short as the Uchiha suddenly spun around with a glare fierce enough to rival that of Heero Yuy's.
"We'll talk inside," he growled dangerously, before once again stalking off into the direction of his house.
Naruto gulped. He suddenly felt very cold again.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
14 minutes, 9 interruptions and 27 glares later, the two former rivals finally reached their destination. Sasuke scowled irritably at the sight of his broken front door – trust the damn thing to be broken just when he needed to slam something!
Stomping angrily inside the house, the Uchiha breathed a small sigh of relief to find that everything seemed to be intact (apart from the various small and heavy items that had been hazardously scattered across the room). At least he didn't have to add 'house burgled and ransacked' to his rapidly growing list of annoyances…
After all – Naruto was annoying enough by himself.
Turning around with a death glare fixed firmly upon his features, Sasuke sought out the main attributer of all his recent troubles.
"Sit."
The blonde complied meekly and obediently - a complete contrast to his usual outgoing and rebellious nature. His expression betrayed his uncertainty - it was as if he knew that he was in trouble, yet was confused to why he was in trouble in the first place.
Che. What a baka.
"If you're going to be staying with me from now on, we're going to have to set some rules," Sasuke's glare was effectively accentuated with a harsh and rough voice. To be fair, he did try to suppress his anger (he didn't want to resemble a parent too much) but it wasn't his fault that his efforts were futile.
After all - he was never known to be the most patient man in the world...
"Firstly, you can't go out at night."
As expected, the blonde opened his mouth to retaliate. "But what if - "
"No."
"And if I - "
"No."
"But what happens if - "
"No," Sasuke answered efficiently. "And no, aliens won't abduct you, you won't suddenly start sleep walking, and no, you don't suffer from claustrophobia. Anymore questions?"
"Uhm… No."
"Secondly – when we're out, you are to stay with me at all times. That means no running off, no talking to strangers, and no smashing your head against the walls or whatever you do for fun in your spare time-"
"But what if I'm out without you?" Naruto interrupted suspiciously.
"That won't happen."
"…" blue eyes blinked as black eyes remained unfazed.
"EHHHHHH?!"
The Uchiha rubbed his temples wearily. The mindless screeching was really starting to get on his nerves. He idly wondered how the idiot managed to live with himself for so damn long…
Any lesser man would've committed suicide by now.
"Sasuke! What do you mean 'that won't happen?'" the blonde repeated, his voice suddenly an octave higher. He didn't seem to realise (nor care) that his unbearable voice was slowly causing more and more of the Uchiha's poor brain cells to self-destruct.
It was a cruel, cruel cycle…
"I mean what I said," Sasuke growled, half from annoyance, and half from the pain pounding within his skull. He idly wondered whether using a gag on the blonde was really as heartless as it seemed. Surely it was acceptable if it were for the good of humanity?
"But - "
"No."
"What if - "
"No."
"But Sasukeeee!"
"No."
"But you're not my mother!!" Naruto half yelled, half spluttered indignantly.
"No I'm not," the Uchiha agreed, unusually composed considering that he felt as if his brain had been repeatedly bashed with a hammer. "But you're staying with me, so you have to follow my rules."
"But I'm 16!" the smaller boy whined and pouted for all he was worth. "I don't need a babysitter!"
"Yes you do!" the raven-haired boy muttered darkly, fire flashing in his eyes as the thought of the silver-haired man entered his mind. "It's obvious you can't take care of yourself…!"
"But it wasn't my fault…"
"Hell it wasn't!" Sasuke growled through clenched teeth, furiously struggling to keep his temper under control as they finally reached the key issue of their conversation. "You knew you shouldn't have gone off with him! And yet you still did!"
Naruto remained silent, eyes downcast in guilt.
"And what if it hadn't been Kakashi-sensei? Then what? What if it had been some random person, with even worse intentions? Then what would you have done?" the Uchiha was shouting now, his fists clutched tightly at his sides. "Would you have still stood there doing nothing like some fucking moron?"
"I'm sorry…" the blonde mumbled softly.
"Sorry, sorry… A shit load of good that will do that when you're lying raped and half dead in a gutter somewhere!!" Sasuke seethed, his imagination already running in overdrive. It was as if an angry volcano had just somehow erupted inside of him, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't seem to calm himself down. He knew he was being irrational, but damn, just seeing the image of the two kissing in his mind was enough to make him lose all common sense. The nerve of that dirty old man… And god, how could the blonde baka be so stupid…
"I said I was sorry..." Naruto looked hurt. "What else can I -"
"I'm going to bed," Sasuke interrupted curtly, before irritably marching up the stairs. He had said what he had to say. And it was probably best to leave before he did anything else that was dreadfully out of character – like speaking another 20 sentences in continuous succession.
And god, how he hoped he never had to sound like a parent again.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
2 hours later, one very tired and fed-up Uzumaki Naruto trudged up the stairs towards his 'new' and 'temporary' room. He had just finished a very unsatisfying meal of instant ramen (Sasuke wasn't food-less after all), and was now feeling rather annoyed because of it…
For some strange and inexplicable reason, the noodles didn't taste very nice that night… They almost tasted plain, boring – which was impossible considering the fact that ramen NEVER tasted plain and boring. And it hadn't even passed the expiry date – he had even bothered to check this time! So either something was seriously wrong with his taste-buds, or…
The blonde didn't even want to think about the possibilities. Maybe he was slowly losing his sense of taste… Or worse, maybe he was dying!! Gah – he was too young to die! He still hadn't become Hokage, nor gotten married, nor had his own super cute kids! And more importantly - he still hadn't broken the village record of 45.6 seconds for the fastest bowl of ramen ever consumed!!
Gah – just how could life be so cruel?!?!
So caught up within his deep and morbid musings, Naruto didn't even realise where he was walking until his head met resistance against a hard chest. Blue eyes blinked in confusion.
"Baka."
That voice… So familiar… Could it be… "Sa… suke?"
The blonde was dumbfounded. What was the dark-haired boy doing out of his room? Wasn't he meant to be asleep already?! He hadn't come out since he had stormed in after all, and that was a whole 120 minutes ago…! Maybe he was sleep walking (and talking) with both eyes open?
"Baka… I…" the Uchiha seemed hesitant, before ceasing speech altogether.
Naruto frowned suspiciously. This was certainly unexpected – the great Uchiha Sasuke actually speaking before being spoken to… And now he was lost for words? And even though he still didn't fully understand why, wasn't Sasuke meant to be angry at him?
So why was he talking to him now?
"…Yes?"
"I… I'm sorry." The words were uttered softly and swiftly, and if Naruto had been anything but a ninja, he would've almost certainly missed them. But fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your view) the smaller boy heard every single word, causing his mind to temporarily cease function.
"…You WHAT?!"
"I'm sorry… For shouting at you," the raven-haired boy muttered uncomfortably, as he hid his eyes behind his dark bangs.
The blonde stood transfixed, blue eyes dropped open in incredulity, as his mouth opened and closed in rapid succession. The whole sequence of action provided an uncanny resemblance to that of a dying fish. In fact, you could say that his breathing pattern also rivalled that of a fish deprived of water!
"And… Goodnight."
And before Naruto could even begin to think up a suitable reply, the dark-haired boy promptly returned to the confines of his room, a small pink blush visible upon his pale features.
Blue eyes blinked in awed bewilderment. First Sasuke snaps and freaks out, then he apologises (yes, Mr-I'm-always-right actually apologised…) And now… And now he blushes?! Just what the heck was going on?! Was he was having some sort of freaky dream?!
Or maybe…
Maybe Sasuke actually cared more than he let on...?
Smiling softly at his new speculation as he entered his room, the blonde quickly shed his clothes and flopped down onto his new bed, eager to drift off into a deep sleep. He needed all the energy he could get for tomorrow…
He still had to talk to Tsunade-sama after all.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
The fifth Hokage rubbed her eyes wearily as she stared at all the overdue paperwork that lay hazardously before her. Great, just great – what a brilliant way to start the day… She sighed in exhaustion - the past few days had seemed more hectic than the past 3 years put together…! Not only did she have to contend with one Uchiha Sasuke in the middle of the night, but she also had to endure one of those annual board meetings that did nothing but reduce her diminishing will to live.
And pray, do tell… Just what the hell was so good about being Hokage again?
Stifling a huge yawn, Tsunade-sama began her daily arduous task of rifling through mission orders, mission reports and other random bits and bobs. Unfortunately for her, there had been a sudden influx of missions over the past 2 weeks, of which the reasons are still unknown. More missions meant more work, which just meant more paperwork…
It was a cruel, cruel cycle.
'Hmm… Another A-class mission… I think I'll leave it to the ANBU… B-class – village of sand? Maybe Shikamaru's team hmm… C-rank…? Maybe Moegi-chan… Ahh…'
Stomp, stomp, stomp!
'Arghh another A-rank… Aii, I can't deploy all the ANBU teams, in case of an emergency… Ehh – maybe Asuma-sensei won't mind an extra mission…'
Stomp, stomp-
"Ahhh! N-Naruto-kun! You can't just barge in here!!"
The blonde-haired woman frowned amidst her broodings. Was that Shizune's voice?
Stomp, stomp, stomp!
And who the hell was making such a loud racket?
Stomp! Crash!
"DAMN YOU OLD HAG!!"
Tsunade sighed. What a stupid question.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
Sasuke folded his arms unhappily as he watched an over energetic Naruto pounce onto Konoha's respected and prestigious leader. And to think that he had actually tried to calm the baka down…
What a waste of valuable time.
"You hag! I can't believe you! How could you be so irresponsible?! Gahhh now my apartment's gone and I have nowhere to live! My apartment damn it! As in the place I've practically lived all my life - Gah, I can't believe you! Just because you're Hokage, it doesn't mean that you get to be such a…"
The dark-haired boy quickly tuned out the rest of the one-sided dispute. How was it possible for that stupid idiot's voice to be so damn aggravating?! And the fact that he didn't sleep properly the night before only made everything ten times worse…
Yeh, you heard right - he didn't manage to fall asleep - once again. Oh, but how he had tried! He still didn't understand what was going on – his body practically begged for rest, and yet his mind adamantly refused to cooperate… Instead, all he could do was lie awake and think about that cursed kiss between the moron and the old pervert… Over and over again…
Gah it was so damn irritating!
And what was the grand total now? 5 nights? 6 nights? 7 nights without sufficient sleep? The Uchiha couldn't even remember anymore… Everything was slowly becoming mixed up and hazy… Each day was gradually blurring onto the next…
And that was definitely a bad thing, right??
"-And then yesterday, strange things happened and that moron pervert kissed me – actually kissed me on the lips! And that wouldn't have happened if I was in my own apartment, so damn you! This is all your fault you stupid old hag! I swear, I would soo sue you if I ever found a lawyer brave enough, and what about my money? Huh? I gave you money damn it, and you still let me down! Don't think I will forgive you, because I…"
Sasuke sighed wearily. At times like these, he wondered whether Naruto actually possessed an ounce of decent civility within him. Surely he knew that this wasn't an appropriate way to speak to someone of such high stature? The woman had enough power to kick him out of the village for god's sake! (and he meant that literally too)
"Wait, wait, wait…" Tsunade-sama finally spoke up, her face scrunched in confusion. "Who did you say kissed you?"
"Stupid Kaka-sensei!" Naruto practically growled, anger evident in his eyes. "The moron stole my first kiss! How dare he! I hate him – and it's all your fault! And he was disgusting – he cornered me in an alleyway while we were walking to the sushi place, and then he took my first kiss, and said that it was a present, and -"
"Hold on – and where was Sasuke during this incident?" the Hokage interrupted, sending an icy death glare towards the dark-haired boy.
Sasuke gulped inwardly – Tsunade-sama sure looked pissed off. But surely the baka wouldn't be as stupid as to actually say things to get him into troub-
"He was suffering from a nervous breakdown."
The Uchiha groaned. He forgot that this was Naruto they were talking about. And there goes his slim hopes of ever getting out of the mission alive.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
20 minutes later found one pissed off and highly irritable Uzumaki Naruto pouting and tapping his foot impatiently outside the Hokage's office. Just what the hell was taking the two idiots so damn long anyway?! And what was so important that he had to leave the room for?! Was there some kind of conspiracy going on? After all, everyone was kinda acting weird since he came back…
Especially that stupid sensei of theirs! Grr – just thinking about that stupid old man was enough to make him shudder from head to toe!
"Damn you Kakashi-sensei!" the blonde muttered under clenched teeth. Not only did that stupidly annoying man steal his very first kiss, but the moron was ALSO the cause of his sleepless night! (Then again, maybe the restlessness was partly to do with adapting to a new environment, but being Naruto, this factor didn't quite reach his stubborn logic.)
And it wasn't even that good of a kiss anyway! He had expected his first kiss to be special, full of electrifying sparks… And with a girl damn it! But with the older man, he had felt nothing but plain shock and surprise. Yes, maybe Kakashi was actually quite handsome under the mask, and yes, maybe he was a decent kisser… (and his lips were pretty soft…)
But damn it…! He was a guy!
Naruto sighed pitifully – he bet Sasuke didn't have to suffer all this misfortune with his first kiss…
"Naruto! You can come in now!"
The blonde pouted - damn that Tsunade for treating him like a kid. This was all her fault.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
Tsunade-sama fiddled with her blonde hair impassively, then sighed, while the boy known as Naruto launched into another one of his bothersome tirades. Gah – that boy could talk for Konoha damn it! Didn't he ever need to breathe?!
"Hai, hai, I know I'm in the wrong, I'm sorry!" she sighed, effectively cutting off the steady stream of insults that poured from the blonde's mouth. "Just stay with Sasuke-kun for the time being, and I'll talk to the housing tenant to see if I can sort anything out… Ok?"
"No it's not ok, you…"
Blah, blah, blah… The Hokage suppressed a yawn as her brain automatically filtered out the smaller boy's (rather creative) rant. It was a valuable skill that she picked up during her earlier years, while teaming with that pervert Jiraiya… (There was an annoying one in every team!)
She idly wondered how the blonde and the old pervert ever managed to survive with each other for so damn long – after all, listening to two times the useless babble must be psychologically damaging…!
But focussing on more crucial things in hand, things were definitely starting to get a little more complicated. After hearing Sasuke's version of the events that happened the night before, she was positive that they were still missing a vital piece of the puzzle… But what were they missing?
And just how important was it?
To be honest, Kakashi's actions were a little odd, even when considering his erratic nature. Sure he was an idiot, unreliable, stupid and downright moronic at times, but the incident with Naruto just seemed a little too surreal… It just didn't seem normal – especially since there had never been any indications of sexual interest between the two in the past…
So could it be possible that he was under some kind of influence?
And the unexpected visit from both Sakura and Ino… How did the girls even know where Naruto was staying? Apart from the silver-haired man, she was certain that she hadn't informed anyone else about the blonde's new and temporary residence…
But the fact that Naruto didn't pounce on the girls was a good sign, right? Or was that because the moon wasn't in its full phase last night? She could just about remember reading something about the intensity of the symptoms being somehow connected to the lunar cycle…
Did that mean that the effects be more compelling in light of the full moon?
("Blah blah, blah blah blah…" Naruto continued to yell.)
Tsunade frowned. Either way, Sasuke couldn't afford to jeopardise the assignment again - especially since it was obvious that more research was needed on the blonde's condition… Given that sending Naruto away for another 2 months was out of the question, she'd have to stick with the 'Babysitter-Sasuke' plan… And that meant that the Uchiha couldn't let the blonde out of his sight again, especially at night…
A sudden evil grin appeared on the Hokage's lips. It couldn't be too hard to get two boys, together, at all times… So wasn't it fortunate that she just happened to have the perfect plan?
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
Naruto had a feeling that the older woman wasn't listening to him. Actually – it was more than a feeling…
It was an undeniable fact.
"Gah! You old hag! Didn't you know that it's rude to not listen when someone's talking?!" he yelled, oblivious to the fact that she still wasn't listening. "You're so irresponsible! Argh – who was stupid enough to appoint you Hokage anyway?! You can't do NOTHING right!"
In his opinion, the day had just gotten 100 times worse. He had been hoping, no matter how foolish it seemed, that the whole apartment fiasco had been nothing but a big mistake. He wanted to go home! He wanted to sleep in his nice little bed! He wanted to leave the crazy world of the Uchiha house, where nothing but bad things seemed to happen to him!
He couldn't possibly survive another day there!
Ok, maybe living with Sasuke wasn't completely horrendous, but his sudden bouts of instability definitely left a lot to be desired. And the fact that Kakashi's eccentricity seemed to increase tenfold within the Uchiha mansion was actually quite worrying. And the girls? Well, he knew they were playing some kind of 'jealousy-mind-game' with Sasuke, but weren't they just taking it a little too far? He didn't want to be involved anymore - he couldn't cope with all the madness and confusion! He had never been good at those kinda games anyway…!
Naruto sighed pitifully. Maybe he could get a temporary apartment of his own? Or maybe stay at a hotel…?
"You don't have enough money, baka…" the dark-haired boy muttered.
The blonde paused mid-rant as impossibly blue eyes blinked in confusion. "Eh?"
"I said that you don't have enough money to stay in a hotel, baka…!"
Naruto frowned suspiciously, all thoughts of Tsunade-sama's apparent 'selfishness' forgotten. "How did you know that I was thinking of staying in a hotel?"
"You just said it out loud!" Sasuke sighed exasperatedly, as if he were talking to the stupidest person alive.
"No I never!"
"Yes you did! You mentioned a temporary apartment first, before considering staying in a hotel!"
"No I never!" the blonde denied vehemently.
"You said it, baka! I heard you!"
Naruto's mind span furiously. He was positive that he only thought up the hotel idea while his mouth went on an insult auto mode. (Because contrary to popular belief, the blonde was capable of multitasking.) And since it was impossible to say two things at once…
"I said I never, and I never damn it!"
"Gah, do you pretend to be stupid to piss me off?! Or is it just something you can't control?!"
"Shut up, you bastard!"
A sudden interruption by the Hokage abruptly brought the igniting argument to a grinding halt. "Give me your hands."
Naruto blinked in puzzlement as Sasuke stared ahead impassively. Hands? Why did she want their hands for? Weren't they meant to be discussing more important things, such as housing situations and the Uchiha's stupid attitude problem?
"Look I don't have all day..." Tsunade tapped her feet impatiently, as she held out both her hands. "Come on – one each. Doesn't matter left or right."
The blonde frowned suspiciously. A lot of damage could be done with one hand (especially her hand), and terrifying (although unrealistic) scenes were already playing out in his head… Naruto gulped, before involuntarily taking 2 steps back…
Ahh, the wonders of an overactive imagination…
Sasuke continued to look uninterested.
"I'm not going to hurt you…" she trailed off into silence.
No one moved.
No one even intended to move.
"Look…" a formidable vein popped on the Hokage's forehead. "Just give me your hands DAMN IT!"
Both boys stretched out their arms swiftly, although reluctantly. They had no idea what Tsunade-sama was up to, but it was probably best to follow her orders. A pissed off woman was not one to be taken lightly – especially one that could break through walls with her bare fists.
"Hmm… OK this is good…" the Hokage murmured softly to herself, once she examined both hands thoroughly. She then placed them gently on top of each other, causing Naruto and Sasuke to look at each other awkwardly.
Just why was the old hag making them hold hands for?!
But before they could fully ponder upon the subject, Tsunade began muttering a few inaudible words under her breath. Almost immediately, a light purple sheen began to form amidst their connected hands. It disappeared almost immediately after it appeared, so Naruto wasn't entirely sure whether it had just been real, or just a figment of his imagination…
But whatever it had been, he certainly didn't feel any different.
"OK it's done!"
Two set of eyes blinked in puzzlement.
"What's done?"
The Hokage smiled sweetly before pointing towards their hands.
Both boys simultaneously began to scream.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
"I can't believe this!" Naruto half yelled, half spat in disgust as he stomped angrily upon the poor and undeserving ground. "I came all the way just to see that old hag, hoping to sort out my problems, and what happens? I end up with even more damn problems!! I tell you now – that… that thing isn't qualified to hold the prestigious Hokage title! She's tainting it, making it - "
"Baka – stop walking so damn fast!" Sasuke muttered wearily, as he held his head in despair. For once, he wholeheartedly agreed with the moron. What Tsunade-sama did was totally despicable, absolutely unforgivable…
"Don't call me baka, you… you… BAKA!" the blonde yelled back intelligently, his fists clenched in anger. "This is all your fault!"
"How is it my fault?" the Uchiha retorted angrily. He was beginning to get irritated at the idiot's apparent lack of logic. "You're the one who can't take care of himself properly!"
"But… But you shouldn't have given her your damn hand!" Naruto shouted angrily, his face slowly reddening from lack of oxygen. Although he was exhibiting a rather irate demeanour, Sasuke could tell that the blonde was actually on the verge of tears. It was hard to dismiss those big, wobbling baby blue eyes, no matter how much he tried to ignore them…
The raven-haired boy sighed uncomfortably – seeing boys cry was a definitely a top no-no on his lists of no-no's. "Look, maybe if you just stay out of trouble, she'll see that her actions were unnecessary…"
"You make it seem as if I'm looking for trouble!" Naruto shouted, infuriated once again. "It's not MY fault Kaka-sensei stole my first kiss!"
Sasuke glared dangerously. "Will you just shut up about the first kiss?"
"No! It's my first kiss! I can complain if I want!"
The Uchiha growled softly under his breath – this 'Kakashi-sensei first kiss' thing was starting to become rather irksome. The first five rants were forgivable, but now it was just getting ridiculous… "Look, you moron, if you don't shut up I'm going to -"
Sasuke's next words were abruptly cut short, as Naruto suddenly fell to the floor, a bright blur of something clenched tightly around his neck. The Uchiha sighed in dejection, before leaning closer to inspect the certain something that was efficiently cutting off the blonde's air supply.
Ino.
Sasuke groaned in pure misery. Today just wasn't his day.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
"Naruto-kun…!" Ino squealed in happiness as she wrapped her arms tighter around her newly-found object of affections. Finally! After waiting for 3 whole hours outside the Uchiha's street, she finally managed to encounter the boy of her dreams! After all, her foolproof logic was that he had to go back sometime…
And the waiting was worth every minute, damn it!
"I-nu… Camb… Breabe…"
"I've missed you soo much!" the blonde girl continued, as she sighed and buried her nose deeper into the struggling boy's silky hair. Hmm… He smelled so good… Like fresh blueberries mixed with just the right amount of natural musk and nature. Gah – surely it should be illegal for someone to smell so damn goood…
"In… (gasp) Breabe…"
And his skin! It was so soft! And warm! And silky! God – just how could one person be so damn perfect?! And soo cute as well… And so love-
"I suggest that you remove your hands from the moron before he asphyxiates."
Ino blinked sluggishly as the sudden (cold) voice jarred her out of her affectionate and fluffy thoughts. That's when she noticed a bored-looking Uchiha Sasuke sitting on the ground next to Naruto-kun…. Next to her Naruto-kun…
As in sitting way too close next to HER Naruto-kun!
"Sasuke!" she glared, as her eyes narrowed evilly. "What are you doing here?"
As was with most love-struck people, common sense seemed to evade her… Hence the fact that Sasuke actually lived at the Uchiha house naturally eluded her conscious. It was a common mistake after all.
"We're going home," the dark-haired boy answered dully, totally ignoring the fact that Naruto was now practically begging him for help. Dignity obviously had no value when oxygen was on the line.
"What do you mean, 'we're?'" Ino asked suspiciously, immediately letting go of the blonde's neck to pointing accusingly at the Uchiha. The frantic bouts of coughing and gasping that followed (from Naruto) were collectively ignored.
"As in we're going home," Sasuke repeated, uninterestedly.
The blonde girl glared dangerously. How dare the arrogant bastard just assume that he could control Naruto?! The blonde didn't have to go back if he didn't want to! Who made him the boss of everything anyway?!
And just when the hell did it start being Naruto's home?! Home sounded much too cosy and affectionate for her liking!!
"Naruto-kun's going on a date with me!"
"No he isn't."
"YES HE IS!"
"No he isn't."
"YES HE IS!"
"No he isn-"
"Shut up Sasuke! Why are you always trying to break me and Naruto-kun up?! Can't you accept the fact that he likes me more or something?! He's mine damn it! Mine, mine, mine!"
The blonde girl continued to glare at the raven-haired boy, who in her opinion, was still sitting waay too close to Naruto for mutual comfort. Just what was going on anyway?! Wasn't the Uchiha meant to hate human contact?!
So why the hell was he now suddenly being so touchy-feely?!
"…He still isn't going."
Ino glowered angrily. If that's the way Sasuke wanted to play it, then fine. Because 2 can play at that game… And she'd make sure that she'll definitely get her date with Naruto by the end of the day… In fact, she will guarantee it.
No. Matter. What.
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-
Sasuke glared.
Ino glared.
Naruto drooled.
The trio were currently situated outside the infamous Ichiraku's ramen stall, as one very happy blonde ogled his favourite food. It was ramen after all, and considering the fact that our beloved idiot had been ramen deprived for 2 entire months, it was only natural to expect this sort of behaviour.
"I want a pork ramen… With extra pork… And extra ramen…" the blonde rubbed his hands together in glee, while he bounced up and down energetically in his seat. His prior kidnapping ordeal (Ino could be very unexpectedly forceful) seemed all but a distant memory…
But then again, as long as ramen was involved, almost anything could be forgiven.
Sasuke increased the intensity of his glare.
To be honest, he didn't what he was more pissed off about – was he angry because Naruto was acting like a complete and moronated prat? Or was it because of Ino's rather tenacious stalking tendencies?
Or maybe it was due to the ever-growing list of stupid situation that he just happened to be forced into…?
The Uchiha growled softly. And another thing – just how was the stupid girl managing to resist his infamous death-glares?! She should've been twitching uncontrollably on the ground by now damn it!
"Stop following us!" Ino hissed softly over the top of Naruto's head, as her eyes narrowed into small slits. It was getting more and more obvious that she was getting rather pissed off with the whole situation. A 3-way date? Pah - the mere idea was completely absurd!
The dark-haired boy suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Yeh – like he really wanted to follow them… As if he had nothing better to do…
Che – damn that Tsunade-sama! This was all her fault!
"So guys, what are you having?" the smaller boy grinned his fox-like grin as he practically sprawled himself across the counter. You could almost see the words 'ramen, ramen and ramen' continually flow in and out of his brain.
Sasuke growled softly. How dare the idiot act so damn carefree?! Especially considering their 'special' circumstance…!
"Naruto-kun… Can we go somewhere instead?" the blonde girl whined, once she finally realised that Sasuke had no intention of leaving them.
The smaller boy looked blank. "Eh? Why?" he asked in disbelief, as if eating anywhere BUT Ichiraku's was one of the vilest sins that could ever be committed.
"Because I don't like the company here…!"
"Eh?" the blonde whipped his head around a couple of times, quickly scanning the vicinity for suspicious-looking characters. "Who?"
"Him!" Ino pouted, before pointing at her former stalkee.
The Uchiha suppressed an overwhelming desire to choke on his own saliva. Funny how fickle things, such as feelings and emotions, changed and interchanged so curtly and abruptly. Gah – how he hoped that he'd never fall in love…
It had to be the stupidest and most useless emotion that ever existed.
"Eh?" bright blue eyes blinked in confusion. "Sasuke? But I thought you liked Sasuke?"
"No!" Ino sighed exasperatedly, as she threw her arms up into the air. "Don't you realise he keeps following us?! He's like… like a stalker!"
This time, the dark-haired boy DID choke.
"Sasuke's not a stalker!" Naruto smiled cheerfully, unfazed by the fact that the most stalked person in the village was now being referred to as a stalker. "It's just that he has no choice but to follow me…"
The blonde girl frowned. "And why's that?"
"Because Tsunade-sama used this weird - …Ah thank you thank you! Hmm… Smells so nice… Itadakimasu!"
"Huh? Naruto-kun? Tsunade-sama used what?" Ino asked worriedly.
"Tsuna-hmff ummh ahuuu slurrrppp!"
The blonde girl blinked blankly, as she attempted to decipher the 'Naruto plus Ramen' talk… Which was a foolish act in itself, considering that even Naruto himself couldn't decipher his own special noodle-induced speech…
"Tsunade-sama used a seal on us," Sasuke interrupted impassively, once his less than cool coughing-fit subsided. He decided (while half choking) that it was probably much less of a hassle if he just explained the whole damn situation. After all - it was pointless to leave Naruto such an important task… Knowing the baka, he'd probably just somehow confuse everyone and make matters even worse…
"Seal? What seal?!" Ino screeched, her eyes wide and frantic.
The dark-haired boy winced painfully. This was the reason why her and Naruto should never ever even consider getting together… God – imagine the children! They'd be so damn annoying….! And their voices…!
Gah – the horror!!
"The seal prevents us from leaving each other," the Uchiha muttered weakly. "We're basically bound together with chakra."
"…?"
"Imagine a pair of imaginary handcuffs… if you will."
"…"
"I'll demonstrate."
Sasuke mumbled something inaudible under his breath (most probably an insult), before raising his right arm unenthusiastically, which just happened to be placed next to Naruto's left one. And almost as if choreographed, both adjacent arms simultaneously moved up at exactly the same time.
Then down again.
Ino stared.
And up again.
Then down again.
Ino stared some more.
"…You're… joking… right?"
The raven-haired boy pulled his right arm back sharply, which almost sent the ramen-slurping blonde crashing to the floor. (Naruto's cries of protest were once again ignored.) Sasuke sighed inwardly – he thought that he had made it more than crystal clear that he wasn't one for telling jokes…
Were his efforts futile? Or were the people around him just really stupid?
"…Well have you tried getting away?!" Ino demanded hysterically, on the verge of a full blown panic attack. She made it sound as if being handcuffed to the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Konoha was a bad thing.
The Uchiha glared spitefully.
"Omph we tried…!" Naruto confirmed seriously, once he finally swallowed his entire bowl of ramen in one gulp - soup, noodles, pork and all. It was a miracle that he didn't choke and prematurely die in the process. "But it doesn't work!"
Sasuke suppressed the urge to thump the moron. "Of course it didn't work baka, or why else would we still be stuck like this?"
"Shut up Sasuke! This is your fault!"
"My fault? You're the one that got molested!"
"I was NOT molested! It was my first kiss damn it!"
"Will you just shut up about the first kiss-"
"NO I WON'T!" Naruto yelled furiously, obviously not caring if the whole of Konoha heard his rant. "IT WAS MY FIRST KISS! AND I CAN CRY IF I WANT TO!"
And like a catalyst within a violent chemical reaction, a vein immediately popped upon the dark-haired boy's forehead. "First kiss, first kiss… FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING FIRST KISS!" he roared heatedly, all thoughts of where he was or what he was doing completely wiped from his brain. The Uchiha was obviously more than a little pissed off.
Blue eyes blinked in blatant shock.
"ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?!" Sasuke continued angrily, seemingly unconcerned as almost half the village paused to watch and stare. But who could blame them? It wasn't everyday that the infamous sullen Uchiha Sasuke started shouting and swearing down the street…
"I WAS YOUR FIRST KISS DAMN IT, AND DON'T YOU EVER DARE FORGET IT!"
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Ok I hope this didn't suck too much. I'm still getting back into the hang of writing :p my stupid brain's gone soft!! But at least I tried, eh?? I promise the next chapter will have more SasuNaru moments in! What do you guys think? Or is that too soon??
OK guys – you know the drill! Read and review! And I'll love you forever :D (and I'll write faster, hint hint!!)
p.s. I know Sasuke's meanna be a bastard right now in the anime, but I haven't watched it yet due to work and everything, and everyone says I will hate him… But… BUT I DON'T WANT TO!! (cries) I wanna lub him and Naru-chan forever and ever… (blubs away)
