ajgkadjgkal. I know, you guys are all REALLY PISSED at me. I'd be pissed too. Here is the very, very, very, very, very long awaited FINAL CHAPTER!

Double L - :00000 OHNOSHEDIDNT! Damn your coach! Ah, I've been on the run from your henchmen for a very long time. THEY WILL NOT GET ME! Thanks for the ideas, by the way. D

Evien - ...You are crazy obsessed with Phantom. xD Just like I am with RON! HESMINEILLNEVERSHARE.

Creeping cautiously and silently down the long, narrow hallway, the group was totally weirded out. They had never seen so much pork all in one place. They eventually emerged from the long corridor and found a deep, swirling pit of magma. An island with an enormous palace made of pork was floating ominusly over the lake of lava.

"Before you meet with the Pork Master, you must cross the magma with only these items," explained the small rubber piggy, holding out a sack filled with various items.

"WHAT! FUCK! I thought this was all in the bag..." complained Loku. In her rage, she seized the piggy and threw it into the lava below. A horrible squealing filled the air, followed by a sickening sizzling. Then silence.

"So, uh, what's in there?" asked Ron, trying to peer into the bag.

"Apperently objects," retorted Ginny in her fucking sarcastic way.

Harry looked at the bag, "LET ME SEE!" he whinned like a four year old, which was rather amusing since he is like sixteen.

Evien sat in the back until she realized Harry was alive. "Wait. Did I not kill him in the seventeenth chapter?" she asked reviewing the chapter. "I DID! How the hell are you fucking alive again?" she yelled rather angry.

Loku was also curious, so she opened the bag to find the following items:

Dental floss

A spork

Three handfulls of granola

Jack Sparrow (complete with Rum)

Cheerios

Confetti

A paperclip

"Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me!" sang Jack Sparrow drunkenly, waving around the bottle of Rum.

"RUM!" yelled Dr. Hobo, lunging for Jack. The hobo struggled to gain ownership of the Rum, but eventually wrenched it out of Jack's grasp and guzzled it noisily.

"Why didja have to get rid of the Rum?" Jack asked exasperatedly, obviously still quite drunk.

"YA KNOW, LOKU, YOU ARE ONE PRETTY YOUNG LADY!" he slurred, coming onto Loku. This was hella funny because Loku was not as pretty as Jack thought.

Ron sprinted over and stood in front of Loku, his arms spread wide as if defending her like a human shield. "FUCK OFF, YOU STUPID PIRATEFUCK!"

Many Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow fans got really fucking pissed at Ron and randomly leaped out of nearby bushes and began trying to beat him to death with pickles and toenail clippers. Loku was able to dispose of them by summoning an army of hissing roaches to kill them. Hermione was tragically (coughnotcough) caught in the flood of roaches and died.

After about 10 minutes of formulating, the group set out to accomplish the task of crossing the magma pit. Kyuki tied the dental floss around the spork and, using her awesome ninja throwing skills, thrust it forward where it sunk into the earth of the temple on the floating island and quivered ominously before settling.

They fastened the other end of the floss to the paperclip, which they stabbed into the soft dirt to make a long, ultra thin tight-rope stretching from their part of the land to the island.

Seeing if any of them would die in the process, they shoved Jack Sparrow onto the rope thing and watched him miraculously stumble along it and not fall, although he collapsed once he reached the other side. Everyone shrugged, then tap danced merrily across the floss.

"Yessssssssssssssssss. We made it!" cheered Evien, high fiving random people.

"Excellent. You may proceed," stated another rubber piggy from out of no where.

"WILL YOU QUIT DOING THAT?" shrieked Ginny, punting the piggy into the lava to meet the same fate as the one before it.

With Loku in the lead

"Hey! Why does everything have to be about Loku! It's always Loku this and Loku that! WHY!" yelled Hermione.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be dead...? Oh well. Because I OWN you. Bow to me. BOW TO ME."

"...How 'bout NO," Harry pipped up randomly.

"FUCK YOU, HARRY!"

Harry gave her a mere rude hand gesture and strode on with the rest of the group.

The ground suddenly rumbled and shook with such a force that Loku almost lost her footing. Nearby pebbles and rocks vibrated against the hard surface of the ground. Foul laughter echoed from an unknown source as the ground continued to churn violently. The earth abruptly began to split right in front of the group's eyes and something rose up from the bowels of the ground.

None other than the Pork Master himself, the source of the heinous cackling, was standing before them in all his stinking pig glory. His head peeped out of what seemed to be a large helmet that went all the way around his head and part way down his neck before it met the purple material hanging off his enormous body. A black cape billowed behind him and furled out to snaking ends that crackled and swayed like fire. No mouth was visible when he spoke, but they noted that when he did speak, the grate where his mouth should have been flashed red.

"WHO DARES TO SET FOOT ON THE ANCIENT AND HOLY GROUNDS OF THE PORK TEMPLE!" the Pork Master boomed, his beady, red pupils staring unblinkingly down at them.

"YOU! THE ONE'S WHO SEEK THE GOLDEN SPORK! YES, I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU!" he continued.

It took a few moments for Loku to restablish her voice. She shouted shrilly up at the Pork Master, "Right then, if you've been expecting us, could you kindly hand over that Golden Spork?"

At first Loku thought the low rumbling was another earthquake about to strike, but realized in a split second that it was the Pork Master's quiet sniggering.

"FOOLISH HUMAN! I WILL NOT JUST "HAND OVER" THIS TREASURE TO THE LIKES OF YOU! YOU MUST PASS THE TRIAL OF THE SPORK!" Jagged lightning forked across the red-ish sky after this loud proclamation.

Loku glanced to the left and then to the right in a kinda weirded out manner. "Okaaaaay whatever stupid pig fuck..." She proceeded to lead the group under the arch that lay beyond the Pork Master, but he, the Pork Master, shot out a thin, pink scaly arm and stopped them from continuing.

"ONLY THE CHOSEN ONE MAY ENTER AND TRY THEIR HAND AT THE TRIAL OF THE SPORK!"

Loku growled in frustration and bellowed back at the Pork Master, "Who is it then!"

"Er...um...HER!" Everyone followed his outstreched hoof to where Ginny stood. Ginny raised her eyebrows in surprise like the rest of the group. She shrugged after a moment and stepped up to the Pork Master.

"ARE YOU READY TO TAKE ON THE TRIAL OF THE SPORK!"

"Yeah...I guess so," Ginny replied grudgingly, kicking at the ground.

"FOLLOW ME TO THE HALL OF STINKING PORKY PORK STINK!"

Ginny slouched after the Pork Master.

"NO! WAIT! Ginny's my baby sister! She can't pass the trial without ME!" Ron yelled as he chased after them. "NOOOO!" The doors slammed shut just as Ron was about to dive through after his sister.

"Ain't that a bitch," remarked Mimi.

Two flying, mutated pig things propelled out of no where and grabbed Ron by the head with two lazer-ish beams. They towed him out of the tunnel leading into the room where Ginny and the Pork Master had dissappeared to and dropped him uncerimouniously onto the ground. A spopping sound occured as the pig things morphed into two large, grotesque pig guards. They stood blocking the doors. Their small, scarred heads poked out of the mass of metal armor that shined dully due to the filthy, brown marks that stained them.

Ron stared at the guards, then at the others, then back to the guards. He got up slowly and stood there stupidly for a minute, and then suddenly charged at the pig things. His attempt was unsuccessful, and he merely bounced off them.

"DAMN YOU! LET US THROUGH!"

"Give it up, Ron. They're not going to let you in," drawled Evien lazily as she sharpened that axe she stole from the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban set with a rock.

Ron once again just stood there, his face unreadable.

"LOOK! THERE'S SOMETHING A PIG THING WOULD LIKE!" he shouted, pointing in some random direction. The pig guards fell for his trick and looked the other direction. He took this chance and sped off behind them toward the arch.

The guards realized they had been tricked, and one of them rampaged after him and snagged him by his collar just before he reached the Hall of Stinking Porky Pork Stink. Looking up to meet the burning red eyes of the guard, he gulped loudly before they began to beat him to a pulp.

Mean while, the Pork Master was harping on about something to Ginny while she stood bored-like in the middle of a giant colloseum-type structure.

"YOUR FIRST QUESTION...HOW TALL AM I?"

"I'd say about eight feet six inches," she replied nonchalantly.

"Hmm...yeah that works. SECOND QUESTION! WHAT IS THE SECRET CODE FOR UNLIMITED LIVES IN SUPER KICKY FIGHTER?"

"Up up down down left right left right A B B A start." she recited instantly.

The Pork Master gazed down on her interestedly. "Really? Cool. THE TRIAL IS OVER! Yaaaay for you!" He clapped his hands while Ginny just stared off into space.

"I guess you can have this now..." the Pork Master said. He raised his arms up over his head towards the heavens and began grunting in effort. After a few moments passed, the Golden Spork fell from the ceiling and clattered to the ground. Ginny strode over to where it lay and snatched it up.

"So...what do you want to do now?"

Ron had somehow gotten the rest of the gang invoved in the foray with him and the guards. The pig things were throwing all of them around forcefully.

Ginny and the Pork Master sat on a long, squashy blue couch in front of a large screen TV playing video games intently. Ginny's pink character was jumping on top of the Pork Master's yellow character.

Shrieks of pain resounded through the group as they were mercilessly beaten by the pig things.

A random ice cream man was scooping chocolate chip mint ice cream from his cart into a cone for Ginny. The Pork Master was already holding an identical cone, unsure of how to eat it.

One of the guards bashed Kyuki and Mimi's skulls together while the other was dismantling GIR. The others were screaming a running around in circles panicking.

The Pork Master Lifted his robes to reveal a frilly pink tu-tu. He did a little dance on his tip toes. Ginny stood watching him with her arms folded across her chest not showing much interest.

Loku was lying in a puddle of her own blood, Harry was hanging from a nuse on a nearby pig statue, and Scotty was hogtied in some snake water.

The twosome were sitting comfortably at a small table drinking tea. "Yeah, my brother Ron is so over protective. I just wish he would leave me alone," explained Ginny to the Pork Master. She sipped on her tea, and the Pork Master did the same.

Ron and the others suddenly burst in somehow, still alive I have no idea how.

"NOOOO! SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO DIE! TAKE ME INSTEAD! TAKE MEEEEE!" Ron pleaded as he dropped down on all fours in front of their table. The Pork Master raised an eyebrow at him, and then looked over at Ginny. She nodded.

"Um...Okaaaaaay..." with a clap of his hooves, a squadron of pig things flew down and surrounded them, pointing tazors at all of them. The Pork Master doubled in size and towered over them menacingly. Taco demons melted through the walls and also closed in on them. They were all utterly trapped and doomed.

Chug chigga chug chigga chug chigga chuuuuuuuug

A smoking, totaled car inched slowly into view and shut down a few yards before the edge of a cliff. Everyone exited wearing beaver suits.

"Woo hoo! What an incredible and daring escape! That was AMAZING!" exclaimed Ron.

"I liked the part where the giant robot squid launched missiles at us," commented Ginny.

Everyone stood in complete silence. Crickets began to chirp.

"Well...we did it," said Loku simply.

"Mhmm," Harry said awkwardly.

"WOOHOO! YEAH! WE DID IT! SFJWRUGHKJFKA!" screeched GIR, jumping up in the air. This seemed to trigger something, as everyone was soon cheering like GIR and congratulating themselves on making it this far.

"So now that we have the Golden Spork, what do we do with it?" asked Mimi excitedly. All eyes turned on Dr. Hobo, who was standing quite still near the edge of the cliff.

"Absolutely NOTHING! Yay!" Dr. Hobo smiled around insanely at everyone.

The combinded yells of everyone seemed to shake the entire Earth. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"We risked our lives HUNDREDS of times and all this thing is is a golden spork with no powers or meaning or ANYTHING!" shrieked Loku, absolutely livid.

"You've gotta admit, it's pretty cool look" Loku cut Harry off with her fist making contact with his face.

Hermoine resurected herself and spoke up, "Well, it was fun, wasn't it?"

Mumbles of somewhat agreement travled through the group.

"Yeah! Who knows, maybe there is some undiscovered secret power in the spork that even Dr. Hobo doesn't know about!" chirpped Lady Moofin, who hadn't said anything at all this entire chapter.

Every single one of the weirdos broke out into joyful, relieved laughter still in their beaver suits...that is until robot bees flew over them and stung them to death. Bees are scary.

THE END

This chapter was based on an Invader Zim episode titled Gaz Taster of Pork and contains a lot of transcript from it. I don't claim any parts from this episode that you recognise.

Anyway, so that's it! There will probably be an epiloge some time in the hopefully near future. Feel free to submit as many questions as you like that are about the story that I can answer in the epiloge.

I'm still toying with the idea of making a sequal. I hope you all enjoyed this stupid randomness and I'd also like to thank those of you who contributed some ideas for this chapter. I LOVE YOU ALL!

I'll be brainstorming for a while on some ideas for a serious fan fiction. Until then (or until I write another stupid, pointless random fic ;D) BYE!