Jesse didn't leave me for a long time last night. He insisted on me explaining everything to him. Twice. Then he just watched me. He said that that way he could make sure I didn't get dragged back into another dream with Madam Zara.
Part of me was glad that he wanted to stop me going back there. I had to admit that it had been very scary. Well, not exactly scary, more un-nerving. Is that the same thing? I hadn't expected it and god knows I didn't understand it. As usual in my line of work. But there was a small part of me that was really curious about what she'd meant. Especially the bit about my one-true-love-that-will-last-eternity.
I'd been thinking about it a lot recently. But there hadn't been much of a question mark hanging over it. It had to be Jesse. My one true love I mean. It had to be him.
If it wasn't then I was in big trouble. Imagine if it was Paul? I'd rather cut out my own tongue out; and let me tell you now, that would be a huge thing for me. I so fully couldn't survive without talking.
It's silly really. I bet there are much worse things that could happen to someone. But I love my own voice too much to lose it. This is why I am desperate to get enough good karma to get through those pearly gates. I'm not waiting here on my own for a hundred years with no-one to talk to. Unless Jesse was with me of course. Then I'd make an exception.
I stopped day-dreaming for a moment as Jesse held out his hand. I took it and hurried down the steps beside him. He'd made me get to school early so that we had time to discuss with Father Dom. There is one huge problem with this idea: I didn't tell Jesse about the 'One True Love' thing. I just couldn't. I haven't got a clue why it's such a big deal, but I…well I just couldn't. But now I was going to have to anyway.
We sped through the courtyard quickly, but I felt the need to stop him. To ask him something that had been bothering me since he woke me up last night.
"Jesse, I need to ask you something." I told him softly. He stopped abruptly making me crash into him. He steadied me with two hands. Then peered down at me curiously.
"What is wrong? He asked me as I shook my head burying tears. I felt really emotional for a weird reason. And I wasn't even going to bother blaming allergies. I was perfectly aware of my discomfort in the whole situation. I mean, it isn't every day you get sucked into another dimension and get told that something was 'Watching you' or whatever it is she told me. I can't really remember.
"How did you get me out of there yesterday?" I asked him quietly. Something she'd said had stuck in my mind. When she told me someone else was pulling me out of the dream she'd created.
Jesse looked confused before replying simply:
"I just called you."
"Uh…..no offence Jesse, but I really don't get what you mean. What is 'calling' people? You've mentioned it before, but I never understood it."
I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. In my school of all places. But I guess, beggars can't be chooses. And I was very curious. So I guess I could put up with the not-so romantic surroundings.
"I don't really understand it all myself." He admitted calmly, clearly choosing his words carefully.
"But from what I can gather, you can only call someone when you have a strong emotion for them. Whether it be anger, hatred, fear, jealousy………….or love."
And let me tell you, in that moment in time all my little thoughts about what the hell was going on faded, because he'd just admitted it to me. Well not in the exact words, but still.
He'd said he loved me!
Even before we kissed in the graveyard he hadn't said that. I knew he felt it. But he'd never actually said it. And I guess you could say he hadn't said it now either. But it was close enough for me. Especially when he pulled me towards him and kissed me.
"Come on." he whispered as he continued to pull me along. And you know what? I really didn't care anymore.
Cause he loves me!
I just hope Father Dom's just as understanding. I have a funny feeling he isn't going to let the whole thing slide. The Jesse kissing me thing. And I know there is no way he could find out unless someone tells him. But what if Jesse tells him?
Oh dear.
