I hate men. I really do. I should just take a vow never to look at one again. Maybe I should just become a nun. Wouldn't that make things so much simpler? But then there's the whole hair issue. Pony-tales are not a good look for me. I guess it didn't really matter though. I mean, I'm already dead right? Paul's going to kill me. Might as well be honest while I'm still here. God, if it was that simple I would have such an easier time.

"Susannah." Jesse said tonelessly from where he was leaning against my bed post. Glaring at me might I add? It was pretty disorientating. Because when Jesse glares at me I tend to get nervous. Which doesn't help when you want to seem calm and collected.

"Jesse please just leave it ok?" I mumbled, keeping my eyes on everything but him. He knew me too well though.

"No, I will not 'just leave it'. You are upset and worried. Tell me what is going on."

I bit my lip nervously. Should I tell him? If I did then he'd probably go after Paul himself. And even though the prospect is very tempting, I couldn't do that to him. Not because of me. Not again.

"Jesse. I can't do this. If I tell you then you'll just go off to kill Paul." I whispered softly. I was aware I had tears in my eyes, and I knew it wasn't to do with allergies. I was just so weak at the moment. Emotionally and physically.

Jesse walked over and sat down beside me on the window seat, looking down at me with concern. Spike hissed at him, but he ignored it. You know he's serious when he ignores the cat.

"Susannah, please just let me help." He said, brushing back some of my hair softly. I closed my eyes. This was not happening. Jesse was mean and nasty and I did not love him.

Liar, was my brains witty reply.

"I, look Jesse, I can't. I won't. I don't want to get you involved in this."

"You are in trouble. I already am involved." I was so startled by his words that I had to look up. Which was a huge mistake. As soon as I looked into his eyes I could feel myself falling all over again.

"I love you. Nothing else matters." I whispered softly, squeezing his hand. Now it was his turn to look surprised.

"Susannah-"

"I'm not going to tell you Jesse." I answered looking away again.

"Fine. I will just have to find out from someone else then." He said standing up and striding forwards, dragging me with him. His eyes flashed dangerously as he turned to face me.

"We will pay a visit to Paul Slater." He informed me calmly. I shook my head at him in complete shock. Grabbing his hand as he continued to walk towards the door, I made him face me again.

"It's him ok? It's Paul."

"Paul? What has he done? I saw him trying to harm you earlier, but if he has done anything…."

"You don't understand. Madam Zara. When she came to speak to me. It was for a reason."

"What has this got to do with Slater?" he asked impatiently.

"She, she said I had a choice. Either you or him." I whispered.

"And you chose him." He said flatly. I could see his eyes fill with hurt as he began to turn away. He ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"No. I chose you." I replied. He stopped his pacing as he turned to face me in disbelieve.

"Which means you are an excessively foolish little girl." I felt a shiver go up my spine as I turned to face Madam Zara. She looked at me sternly.

"How did you get in here?" I choked in horror, subconsciously backing up to where Jesse was standing. She let out a short laugh.

"I had a certain young man exorcise my soul for a while." She answered softly.

"And who would that young man be?" I asked in a bare whisper.

"Why, your good friend Paul of course."