Warmth
Disclaimer be in Part I
Part II
Remembrance
Staring at you, I can't help but wonder if this was the same way you felt so long agodesperately searching, seeking out the tiny fragment of you that's still alive in that monstrous body. You aren't in control anymore, but you have to be there... right?
After all this, what I've meant to do all this time... my remembrance has revealed to my mind what some part of my heart knew all along. Having wanted to kill you, when it comes down to the fact I find I cannot do it.
When Aura and I first found you, you were so confused and helpless, knowing only that your world was under attack, that you needed to help them fight against Chaos, the one attacking our world... your power, matching my own, amazed me. Unlike me, you were always so sensitive. You held your heart right out in the open, primed for attacks from the enemy. You cried so easily and seemed so frail when you did. I wanted to help you, but didn't know how. And the one you cried for was not me.
You broke down when you realized he was dead. Your mind went to pieces for days, and we had to stop. I did my best to care for you. I hope you somehow appreciated that. You hadn't recovered when we set off again, but you wanted to end it all so that no one else would have to suffer.
And then Aura...
After that, all we had was each other. And we found Chaos and meted out our revenge, at the sacrifice of our lives.
I remember...
"Kaze, no! You can't leave me! Don't make me do this! Not to you... not to you, please..."
And in the other world, when I had lost control...
"Kaze! Stop it, this is madness! Innocent people are going to get killed! Leave them alone! You're still in there... aren't you? Kaze! Answer me!"
As I killed you, you finished it... you sealed me... and now...
Now I understand how you felt... how can I?... but I have to...
For the children... for that girl... for all the lives lost... and... for you...
I spread my wings, rise, and fly into what Chaos cannot comprehend is a seal...
Holding you in my arms, lost within the wreckage of the gray castle, I realize that you are still alive in your broken shell of a body. Bleeding out your lifeblood the way you are, somehow you're still breathing. Your skin is cold, colder than anything I've ever felt before, and your breath rattles in your throat, fading into a weak haze of white Mist that wreathes your face.
It's funny. When we met, I just saw your tall, thin, almost gangly body structure, and the way you seemed to be all arms and legs. But now, holding you close to me in a vain attempt to share heat, my clothing hanging in bare shreds around my body and yours absent-without-leave, the shattered pieces of the Magun around us, I can appreciate your softness, the slight curve of your hips, the childish set of your face that so aptly describes your innocence, the way that a few strands of your hair fall around the nape of your neck in a way that makes me want to touch it... you haven't changed, but my view of you has.
Having two free hands is useful. Supporting you in the bend of my left arm, I run my right hand over your sweat-slick skin in what I hope is a passable caress. My fingers seem to have a life of their own, tracing the cords of your throat, the spasmodic rise and fall of your ribs, the arch of your back, the almost sensuous dip of your navel. A soft breeze teases our hair, fluffing yours around your face in a pale halo the color of virgin snow.
And you open your eyes.
The beautiful jadeine pools of emotion are vague now, clouded; you can barely see. But you seem to know that I am here.
"Did we... did we do the right thing...?" Your voice is cracked, whispering... it hurts something inside me somehow.
"Yes." I try to hold you closer, hoping it won't hurt you, trying not to disturb the hole through your body, made by your own sword.
You notice. "It's alright... I can't feel it anymore..." I have to lean in to catch your words. "But I... wish that I could... so cold... just want to feel... warmth..."
Once again, there are tears in your eyes, tears about to overflow. Beyond physical pain, you are still steeped in misery.
I wish there was something I could do about that.
Maybe there is...
Still careful of your wound, I lean down so that we will touch, and softly press my lips to yours.
