I rushed up the stairs so fast I felt like my legs might drop off. I wasn't joking either. I could feel my muscles protesting at the heavy duty running I was doing. Not that I had much choice. I had to catch Jesse before the party. Unfortunately when I reached my bedroom, I could see clearly that he was already gone. He probably hadn't even been there in the first place, I thought hopelessly as I flopped down onto my bed. I let out a long sigh. Today was the day.
"Knock, knock." I recognised my mom's voice instantly. She didn't wait for me to answer. Instead she just walked straight on in, with what seemed to be a large black bag draped over one shoulder.
"Hey mom." I said with a small smile. I didn't feel up to the small talk. I could barely even look at her without feeling guilty. Because now I had to leave her. Just like dad did. Not that he wanted to, but that's beside the point.
"Hey honey. Happy birthday!" she grinned, pulling me into a big hug. It was kind of nice. Knowing that –at least for now- she was here for me. Loved me.
"Mom about the party….." I began slowly. What excuse should I use? I wondered abstractly. That I was too ill to go?
But then she did something horrible: she showed me what was inside the black bag. And as soon as I saw it, I couldn't tell to her. I was too shocked.
"Oh it's beautiful." I whispered, running a hand along the silk surface in amazement. A dress. And not just any dress. It was the one I'd seen in my mom's clothes magazine. I'd wanted it so bad for prom. But I also knew I'd never have enough money for it.
"I got it custom made for you." She told me happily, as I continued to stare at it in shock.
"But mom, this must have cost you a fortune!" I shrieked.
She gave me another squeeze, and stroked my hair away from my face. I couldn't help but feel brain dead. It was beautiful.
"The
money isn't a problem. We spent at least that amount on Brad's
car last summer. But seeing as you're quite content to use my car,
well, this just makes up for it. I saw you looking at it before.
Think of it as a joint birthday present from me and your father."
I looked from her, to the dress, and back again.
"Dad?" I echoed weakly. She smiled sadly.
"He would have been so proud of you Suzie. It's so sad that he never got to see you growing into such a wonderful person. But I know for a fact that he'd want you to enjoy your special day." She told me, as she pulled me to my feet again.
Little did she know that dad had never left. Well, at least not as far as I was concerned anyway.
"Thank you so much mom. It's just I can't accept this because……….."
"Don't be silly! Do you think I ordered this thing for nothing? Go try it on."
I studied her carefully for a moment. I wanted to tell her the truth. God knows I did. But I couldn't. Because of what she'd just called me.
Such a wonderful person.
Plus the dress was amazing. So with one last hasty glance in her direction, I headed to the bathroom. I was quite aware of the fact that, this would probably be the last thing I ever wore. I stepped out of the bathroom feeling self-conscious. It felt strange wearing something I'd seen in a magazine, just a couple of months ago.
I heard my mom gasp as I took my position in the centre of the room and did a little twirl.
"Well what do you think?" I asked her nervously. She just smiled, with tears in her eyes.
"Oh you look beautiful. See for yourself." She pointed to the full length mirror at the end of my room. I took a deep breath before stepping in front of it. And even I didn't recognise myself.
The pale pink bodes enhanced my already tiny waist, with tiny flowers dotted about on it expertly. You could almost see the work that had gone into it. All the way down to where the flowing material poofed out into a beautiful fuchsia skirt. It truly was breath taking. And an hour later after my mom had curled my hair to perfection, I looked…..well, like I'd always dreamed of looking like if I ever went to prom.
Except I'd never see my prom; because this was the dress I was going to die in.
