Warmth
Disclaimer be in Part I
NOTE: This section flips perspectives in an almost poetic format. One character's POV will be in bold, the other's in italic; plain text denotes shared point of view. Who is who? You have a brain, you figure it out. I don't have to tell you everything. And it should be pretty obvious too...
Part III
Warmth
Through my numbness it is hard to respond to the kiss, but as it deepens, I find myself able to move... just enough that I can keep it, just enough that
yes
I can feel it
I can feel
I'm prepared to pull away, but you reach up and touch my shoulder. As the touch becomes a grip, I realize that your cold body is beginning to respond to me, curling against me; your hands firmly locked in my hair
I can feel the thick coarse strands of earth-brown tangled between my fingers, can feel the sensation of your solid body moving against mine
your left arm supporting my weight, your right tracing down to my knees, held together against the cold
no longer in control of myself, but I can realize that you no longer seem quite so cold
no longer ice
I can feel your
warmth
wanting
I'm not frozen anymore
I can see the sharp lines of your face, the scars, the thick ragged bangs falling into your eyes, cerulean misted with longing and something else
I can see
your eyes clarifying, examining the length of my face, the tears overflowing
the tiny smile that plays across your features
that you want this
your embrace is tender and your eyes are sincere
I know now that what I thought was hatred
never really was
just masked by the confusion
emotion
surging through my body, seeing the gratitude in your eyes... so relieved that you never blamed me when my loss of memory drove me to what I've done
the moment is coming when we will no longer be
until then we will have to be
so why shouldn't we be
why shouldn't we express this
the moment is now
feeling warmth flow into my body as we curl together, every part of my body tingling with renewed sensation, finer than ever before. Could I have sensed the slightest shift of your body before? This is new, this is greater than what I imagined; there is pain, but even that, I embrace, knowing that any feeling is better than none at all.
I can feel
I can feel again
I can sense your gentle movements within me, the movements that granted my thoughtless plea. Even as my life ebbs away from me, you keep me within the bounds of mortality, within the realm of feeling
self-consciousness is a thing of the past now. Having crossed all boundaries, we may as well be one creature, and in a way are now. In a far-off way I sense that neither of us have much longer in this place, but that matters nothing to either of us
you know, I've never done this before
does it matter?
it feels right anyway
the love was already here
unrealized
or was there just no time to bring it into the open?
we did not create it in this
this is expression
this is
warmth
blessed warmth, coming to one who could not feel
warmth that makes the tears flow, tears of apology for everything, everything
stop crying, I want to say, but this is your truth and it must be accepted
your soft moan ripples through my being as I pull closer to you/deeper within you
I no longer have the words but I want to thank you for doing the right thing then
and granting me this one
last
pleasure
of
warmth
