Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know – not mine. Tell me something I don't know.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: All of Season 1, specifically 'Before I Sleep', 'Letters from Pegasus' and The Siege 1 & 2.

Category: Sheppard/Weir friendship, UST, Post-ep

Author: Traci

Summary: Weir questions her place in Atlantis after the events of the finale.

Author Note: This was written before I actually saw the 2nd part of Siege – I did not know it was to be continued….


Letting Go


Dr. Elizabeth Weir swallowed hard. "Maybe I'm not the right person for this afterall."

Her companion continued to stare out over the sea surrounding Atlantis. "I wouldn't have put you back in charge if I thought there were any truth to your statement."

With a small smile, Weir glanced at the man beside her. "Thank you for your faith in me, John."

John Sheppard, Major in the Air Force, looked at her and smiled. "Hey, I didn't want to have to deal with running this place!"

"I just…" She sighed and leaned on the balcony railing. "I just wasn't expecting so many life and death decisions." She paused. "I'm a diplomat. I work with nations towards peaceful outcomes not war."

"Do you regret it?" he softly asked.

Weir remained silent for so long it scared him.

"No," she finally replied.

"Elizabeth."

She turned her head and sought out his hazel eyes as he continued.

"We already know how much you've sacrificed. You risked your own life to meet with the Genii, which might I add I'm still not happy about."

"You wouldn't have let me go."

"I still would have liked to have the option," he countered.

"Just like you gave me an option when you went on that suicide mission?" she reminded him. She swallowed hard at the memory of feeling like she had let him go to die.

John reached up and gently tangled his fingers in her wind-blown hair. "I imagine you gave up a pretty promising career on Earth."

She smiled. "We've all given up a lot to be here, John. That doesn't make me any different."

His hand dropped from her hair and to his side while his gaze returned to the sea surrounding them. "I didn't give up anything," he admitted. "If anything, this was a chance for me to start over." He sighed. "What I'm saying is that you are a far stronger person than you realize. You don't make decisions quickly. You weigh the pros and cons from different perspectives. You are the only person who could lead this expedition."

She took a deep breath. "Simon tried to tell me that once."

He stared at her. "Who is Simon?"

The smile faded. "My fiancé."

John's eyes widened for a brief moment. "I…"

"It's okay, John. I should have said he was my fiancé." She hesitated. "In the messages we sent back to Earth I told him not to wait for me."

"I wasn't trying to pry," he told her.

"I know but it feels good to talk to someone about it." She turned her face towards him. "Thank you for listening."

His eyes held hers. "He'd be a fool not to wait for you," he told her softly.

"It's not fair to ask him to. What if we never return home?"

"Still…"

Elizabeth rested a hand on his arm. "I appreciate you saying that. So, do you still think I'm the right person for this job?"

His eyes searched hers. "Never a doubt." Sensing her somber mood, he smirked. "I have a couple beers I managed to smuggle along back in my room. Interested?"

The sparkle he had become so familiar with returned to her eyes and a small, amused smile forced its way to her lips despite herself. "Sometimes, John, you still manage to surprise me." Her hand slid from his arm but he caught it with his own hand.

"I take that as a yes then."

She nodded and allowed him to lead her back inside the city. As their hands fell from each other, Elizabeth Weir could not help but think that while she had reluctantly let go of her past, her future was something she found herself looking forward to.


The End