A/N: Thanks to those who took the time to read and review the first chapter.

Chapter 2 – Lorelai's Ultimate Humiliation

Lorelai followed Luke with her eyes as he returned to his place behind the counter. She knew he had heard everything Chris had said to her; hell, the whole diner had heard what he had thrown at her, had seen the look in his eyes. That angry, pitying look that she felt she had done nothing to deserve. Couldn't he understand that she really was thanking him? She had meant no harm with her words; if he knew her better, he would've understood that. Seeing him with Sherry, happy, had finally, finally, made her realize that she was over him. Really, truly, absolutely over him.

Probably.

She took a sip of her coffee and tried to casually glance around the diner. I am Sydney Bristow, master of disguise; nobody will recognize me behind this coffee cup. She amused herself by giving the evil eye to those still glancing in her direction. She began singing the Mission Impossible theme to herself, imagining herself as a secret agent. Ooh, got to rent it tonight, polish up my spy techniques…

"Mom!"

"Argh! You're the second person to make attempt on my life in the past five minutes…good thing I'm an special agent, trained in Krav Maga."

Rory sighed and raised her eyebrows at Lorelai. "Were you pretending to be Sydney again?"

"Maybe…you'll never drag it out of me." Lorelai took another sip of coffee. "How'd 'operation BS to L' go?"

"I'm assuming you're referring to the CD drop?"

Lorelai demurely dropped her eyes. "I don't know, am I?" she stage-whispered.

"Quit it! Nice going, by the way. You should have seen Michel. Fourteen shades of purple! I don't think he'll ever forgive you for neglecting to give him the message."

"Hey, a little exercise never hurt anyone."

"Says the woman who once referred to Jane Fonda as the spawn of the devil! Who mercilessly mocks Olivia Newton-John's headband-wearing phase!"

"Do as I say, not as I do; that's my motto!" Lorelai avoided Rory's eyes, suddenly and uncharacteristically uncomfortable with what she was about to ask. "Um, Rory? Are, um, your dad and Sherry still around?"

"I don't know, they said something about checking out the bookstore. Why?" Rory asked, suspicious.

"Uh, no reason. I think I'll just hang around here for a while, you know, annoy Luke by asking for an obscene amount of refills. It's as good a way as any to whittle away a Saturday morning. Ooh, whittling…now that's as good a way as any to whittle away a Saturday morning. Ah, donuts! Gotta have donuts to successfully whittle away a Saturday morning!"

Rory, used to, and therefore not fooled by, her mother's patented evasion techniques, narrowed her eyes at Lorelai. "Mom, what's wrong? Oh, no! Did you and Dad have a thing?"

"Why would you assume that your dad and I had a thing?" Lorelai asked, unable to meet Rory's eyes.

"Your pathetic attempts to distract me are always a dead giveaway that something's wrong, and since the last person you most probably spoke to is Dad, I'd say it's a valid guess. Also, you and Dad always seem to manage to have 'a thing' each time he comes to visit."

"We do not," Lorelai protested.

"Hello, Cleopatra, nice of you to put in an appearance. What about that time last year when he came to stay for a few days? When he left I was getting a definite 'thing' vibe," Rory pointed out.

"Yeah, well, that was different – "

"And then," Rory interrupted, "there was the night of my debut," Rory rolled her eyes and fluttered her hands at that. "You spoke to Dad outside and then you came in here and looked…well, like you do now."

Lorelai shifted in her seat and frantically gestured to Luke. "Oh, Luuuuke…need coffee now!" She fidgeted and tapped her fingernails on the tabletop. "Man, I hate it when he doesn't pay attention to me. Luke! Coffeeeee…"

Luke stomped over with a fresh coffee pot. "Jeez, Lorelai. I went to the trouble of leaving you a pot, against my own policy, might I add, and yet you still find a way to whine at me. I swear you do this on purpose," he grumbled. He glared at Lorelai as he filled her cup again.

"Oh, she does," Rory chimed in. "She was just mentioning how she was planning on spending the morning annoying you. Although, to be fair, it's probably another of her famous ways to not answer my question."

"You had a question?" Lorelai fluttered her eyelashes at Rory.

"Don't you try it with me, missy. I know every avoidance trick in the book, I was raised by the – "

"Gilmore! Heads up."

"Gah!" Rory squealed. She dodged in time to narrowly miss getting conked in the head by a book. She glanced around and spotted Jess, smirking of course, standing behind the counter. "Jess, what the hell! You know I have no motor skills!

"Hey, Miss Center-of-the-Universe, he yelled 'Gilmore'. That could just have easily been my decapitation he was planning," Lorelai pointed out.

Jess sauntered over to their table. "Oh no, I would never do anything to hurt you, Miz Gilmore." He turned to Rory. "I heard Andrew got a new shipment yesterday. Wanna head to the bookstore and check it out? Who knows, I might let you have dibs on whatever first edition we dig out."

"Would I? I'm right behind you!" Rory leapt out of her chair and wagged her finger at Lorelai. "We are sooo not done. Work on your story and we'll hash this out later, 'kay?" She dropped a kiss on Lorelai's head and was out the door.

"What just happened? Did Jess just throw a book through a crowd of my customers?" Luke fumed.

"Boy, you're slow today." Lorelai grabbed Luke's arm and tugged him to her, causing him to lose his balance. "Quick, what's 1,543 times 897?"

"Let go of me and finish your coffee." Luke pried her fingers lose and once again returned to the safety of his counter, mumbling to himself about crazy ladies and caffeine overdoses.

Lorelai laughed quietly to herself. Gilmore – 10,063, Danes – 0. She raised her cup to her lips and mentally prepared herself for a long morning of bugging Luke.

Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai was still seated at the table and was berating herself for not bringing supplies; a book, a newspaper, anything that would lift her boredom. She raised her hands above her head and twisted her torso from side to side in an attempt to relieve the tension in her lower back. All Emily-induced, of course. On her third twist to the left, she caught a glimpse of a tall, familiar figure striding towards the diner. Chris! What does he want? Without thinking, Lorelai jumped up from her seat, ignoring the twinge in her back, and raced to the counter.

I really don't want to deal with him again…what could he possibly want? Unless he forgot his scarf or something…must find a distraction.

She frantically looked around for something she could suddenly be in the middle of to avoid another confrontation with Chris. She placed both hands on the counter and leaned over, glancing first to the right, then to left, in an attempt to spot someone she could very quickly be in deep, intimate conversation with.

Kirk? Ugh, no. I'd actually welcome an interruption from Chris if I was stuck in a convo with Kirk…

Funny-smelling guy with the beard? What's his name again?Never, it'll take me days to forget the smell of his breath and the feel of his hand on my thigh…stupid touchy-feely Smelly Guy!

She heard the bells above the door jingle and felt her whole body stiffen.

"Hey, Lore – " she heard him begin.

Quick! And that's when she looked straight in front of her and noticed Luke staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face. Perfect.

She released the death-grip she had on the counter and raised her right hand to clutch the fabric at the front of his shirt and yank him close to her, nearly toppling him over the counter. "I'll see you later, Hon. At the house?" she babbled. Too fast, slow down.

She could see Luke's eyes widen in surprise and his lips move to form a protest. No, no, no! Go along with it, please…

She sensed Chris behind her. "Lorelai? Can I talk to you for a second?"

In full panic mode, Lorelai did the only thing she could think of: she tugged Luke closer and leaned in, planting her lips squarely on his.

And time came to a grinding halt.

As soon as their lips made contact, everything faded away. The crowd in the diner, the counter between them, Christopher, all ceased to exist for her. His lips were warm and unyielding beneath hers. What she meant to be an innocent peck turned almost immediately into a challenge for her. Can I make him react, participate in this? She moved her mouth ever so slightly over his, almost daring him to stay immobile.

She felt it then, a subtle tremor against her mouth. Luke's lips slowly came to life. His mouth released hers for a fraction of a second before diving back in and melding with hers once again. He became an active participant, feathering her lips with light kisses and stroking her lower lip with his tongue. Lorelai heard herself moan and moved in for more…

…and suddenly found herself toppling onto the counter from the sudden absence of Luke. She slowly opened her eyes (when did I close them?) and met his. She was shocked by the heat she saw there, but also by the barely-contained anger simmering below the surface.

Uh-oh. What have I done now?

A/N: I wrote most of this chapter before Tuesday's episode (5.15) aired. I usually suck at references, so I was understandably proud with the Krav Maga one…and then they used it on the show! Damn, scooped by ASP again!

For those who didn't know, GILMORE GIRLS SEASON 3 ON DVD MAY 3RD!