PREPERATIOINS FOR THE SCHOOL DANCE OF DOOM
CHAPTER 2
Gaz stood in the food court of the mall. She still had a soft spot for Bloaty's Pizza Hog pizza. At least twice a week she would order a slice. Today she had business at the mall so she got her pizza from the food court. The purple haired teen finished the crust then pushed her chair back. She began to leave when some moron shouted, "Hey baby! I find you physically attractive, and I have no real interest in your personality!" She spun around and balled her fists tightly.
After beating the living hell out of that guy Gaz found herself in her favorite store. One with an extensive collection of black clothing and band shirts. Most of the employees were covered in piercings and had lips and eyes laden with black make up (A/N: if you have yet to guess which store she's in then you are a moron). She stood in the back thumbing through a JTHM comic. She snickered to herself, Jhonen was her favorite comic writer, and Roman Dirge was a close second.
"I wish my life could be this interesting, or at least have been made by an evil writer like this!" (A/N that joke was just for me!) She reluctantly decided it was time to leave the store. Gaz placed the comic on the counter and waited for service. She looked around there a couple of wanna bes tugged on a pink fishnet over shirt. From Gaz's guess it wouldn't fit either of them one was tall and chubby with black hair and neon pink bangs the other was pathetically short and her wrists were pen sized. That one had chopped off all her hair so it was as short as a boy's only with long bangs she had bleached white! The shirt was a medium with an extra large and a negative small fighting over it. The small girl yanked and the large one lost her footing stumbling into a shoe display. A pair of high-heeled black Mary Janes landed near Gaz. She picked them up they were made of a shinny black material with a tiny silver skull on the out side of each ankle. Gaz stared at them a moment then tugged off her old boots in favor of trying these new ones, they fit perfectly. An employee finally showed up.
"Sorry about the wait, we're a little short handed today." He looked at the comic, "Issue six? This is a good one!" when the overly tattooed guy saw the shoes he gave her a look like, 'these are for you!' but said nothing. She reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a few twenties and left. Gaz was ready to leave when she saw a dress shop. The girl let her shoulders sag she really didn't want to go in but she knew she had to.
"Computer give me all the data on School Dances right now!" Instantly words and pictures covered the screen. Zim read, "Dances are social events where in earth teens express romantic feelings toward each other of expressions distaste," Zim silently studied the pictures on the screen, there was a picture of a male teen and a female with their arms wrapped around each other (A/N I don't think that came out sounding very good…they're dancing) each other and yet another couple holding hands, and another with them standing with other couples. Zim noticed a common theme among the males they were all wearing black uniforms. Zim looked at the picture and remembered seeing these strange clothes before, he shuttered. Zim knew where he had to go and her was not looking forward to it. Zim sighed and pulled himself out of the chair. He glanced back at the caption below the picture, "Tux-ido?"
He walked to the elevator and rode it to the house level of his base. It was created to appear to be a home of a human; he had failed miserably in that task but he had no idea. And probably never figure that out. There was a big couch in the center of the room against the wall. Over it hung an extremely creepy picture of a green monkey. In the corner there was an over stuffed purple chair. And on the other side of the room there was a big screen TV that took up half the wall on it played the Scary Monkey Show. In the dead center of the room sitting on the tile floor was a "dog" that looked more like a stuffed animal then a real pet. He was staring blankly at the television set. In his little nubby paws he held a suck monkey that was almost as big as he himself! The straw was in his mouth and red goo was dripping from his chin. His big eyes were vacant and empty. He was always happy.
Zim began to walk past the stuffed animal like creature when suddenly it jumped up from the floor knocking over his beverage.
"Sir!" he saluted the alien.
"Gir! Guard the house!"
"Yes my master!" then his eyes turned aqua and he noticed his spilled drink the little robot began to sob (A/N: aww that's sad! ) Zim rolled his eyes and left the base.
Gaz stepped through the doors of the shop and a woman swooped in on her like a bird of prey. The woman had short red hair pulled back into a bun with bangs hanging over her forehead. She was wearing a white blouse with a name tag that read, "Debbie" she also had on a black skirt that went to her knee. On her face she wore a plastered on smile,
"HELLLLO YOUNG LADY!" Gaz raised an eyebrow she wondered if that smile was stapled on. The woman reach out and grabbed Gaz pulling her to a 180 degree mirror, "Oh what a fine bone structure! How do you keep your figure?" Gaz wasn't planning on continuing this conversation but the woman said, "I've got just the thing for you!" she dashed off then shoved Gaz into a dressing room. The teen didn't even look at the dress she was too busy thinking of whether she should beat the crap out of this woman before or after she bought the dress she would wear. Gaz stepped out and stood in front of the mirror. Her eyes widened in horror. She was wearing a lime green single strapped dress that looked like a tent from the waist down. On the one strap were at least six bright yellow plastic flowers. The woman came from a back room she gasped, "Oh my god! You look beautiful! What do you think?" in response Gaz reached up and ripped off one of the flowers crumpling it in her hand. She dropped the wilted plastic flower on the floor. The woman opened her mouth to say, "You're going to have to pay for that" but thought better of annoying this scary costumer. But she could not forget that it was a costumer, and she had a duty (and a microchip in her brain that would electrocute her if she failed to make the sale)!
"Okay so that dress wasn't you're style. I've got something nice for you!" she paused, "Something black!" then the woman rushed off without another word. Gaz stormed into the dressing room slamming the door nearly taking it off the hinges. She quickly tore off the dress and ground it into the carpet with her foot. She glared down at the dress when a piece of black material was swung over the door,
"I know you'll just love it!" shrieked the high-pitched voice of the sales girl. Gaz lifted the dress up. It was black, she hadn't lied about that so Gaz decided to try it. She slid the dress over her head then looked down at herself. This was the last straw! The dress was short! It barely went past her thighs. It had hair thin straps and was low cut, grossly low cut. What was worse then the slutiness was the fact that on the back there was a huge, huge bow. There seemed to be more fabric on the bow then the entire dress! She threw her own dress back on and threw open the door. The sales lady came out of nowhere, "How do you like-where's the dress?"
"You're turn is over! I'm choosing the dress and you're going to go sit behind the counter and wait for me to finish! Or else you will feel my hideous wrath!" the woman was behind the counter in seconds. Gaz looked through a rack of dresses and pulled one off its hanger. She held it up to her chest and looked down at it, it was perfect…um or it would do! She took it to the sales lady,
"Um this one any thing else?" Gaz glanced around, "Yea, I'll take those,"
"Okay," she bagged the items, "Will you be paying for those or do you want them for free?" Gaz reached into her pocket and threw some cash at the woman's face then left the store satisfied with her purchases,
On the other side of the mall Zim entered through the food court. He pushed his way through the crowds knocking several people over. Zim literally picked up a small boy and threw him to the side, "Squee!" the boy screamed.
"Out of my way earth monkeys! I need a black uniform!" he stood in front of a store called, Senor Tux he entered. The store had just what it promised a bunch of tuxedos some on hanger others on mannequins. He walked through the store and stood in front of the counter where a man was sitting reading a magazine.
"Uniform dorn! I demand black clothing, GIVE TO ZIM!"
"If you want black clothes you might want to try that Goth store."
"Can I get access to a tux-ido at this goth store?" he inquired. The man lowered his magazine and raised an eyebrow at the green teenager looking being.
"You mean a tux? Well you've come to the right place!" the man much like the sales lady at the dress shop swooped in on Zim. Out of nowhere he had a tuxedo and held it up to Zim's chest.
"In this you'll look totally Fabu!" Zim rose up on his spider legs and suddenly was gripping a laser gun. He shoved it in to the man's face.
"Fabu? Is that a threat? You do not want to go against an Irken elite in battle!" the man had his hands up, "No, no it's a complement!"
"Attacking more people out of pure stupidity eh, Zim?" the Irken spun around to see Dib leaning on the frame of a dressing room. He had a black outfit crumpled up in his arms.
"Dib!" Zim hissed. The boy walked up the counter and placed the crumpled black outfit next to the cash register, "I'll take it." the man ducked behind the register and said will that be cash or credit?"
"Cash." He handed the man the money without removing his eyes from Zim's, "I, too will take it! Will twenty earth moneys be enough?" he glanced at the man. The guy was glaring at him completely forgetting that the same green boy had just pointed a gun at his head, "Uh no! You're going to need more then-" he stopped noticing that Zim wasn't holding twenty one dollar bills but a combination of tens, twenties, fifties and even a hundred dollar bill.
"Actually that will be enough!" the man snatched up the entire wad of cash. Dib and Zim had both lost interest in the man and were glaring at each other. Then Dib reached over to the counter and grabbed his bag.
"See you at the dance Zim!" as to maintain eye contact Dib walked backwards out of the store. Unfortunately walking backwards put Dib in a bad situation he got his by a wall of people that seemed to come out of nowhere, "Ahh!" (A/N: Dib's pain makes me smile!) Zim screamed after him, "Run now Dib but I will destroy you!"
THE END of the chapter
Yeah! I finally finished this stupid chapter! I had already written the third and final chapter weeks ago but now I've bridged of the gap and I can finally sleep! Yea for me! does a little dance Ha ha but because I'm evil I'm going to wait like two or three days to post the last chapter, I'm so evil the Irkens got nothing on me! snaps fingers hahaahahahahaahahahahaha! Okay please review! Bye bye! Hi Rosie and Anti Yaoi Alliance! Look I updated! My computer stopped sucking!
