Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation! I own a jacket and a leaf and maybe a fence here and there.
A/N: This is all thanx to you guys everything. Everyone who reviews helps me to complete a new chapter. I will be revealing the true answer to the question at the end of this chappy. Well what are you waiting for go on read...
Gravitation
Disease of the mind
My truest kiss
K POV
I lifted myself off the cold floor. I felt as if my jaw was broken pain throbbing through it. I felt a hand on my jaw and looking down a few centimeters I found Ryuichi. He starred up at me his bright violet eyes starring up at me in wonder. I long for the day when I could be as happy as he is. Always have that shimmer in my eyes, that beautiful reflection of happiness. He pouts softly and I can't help but gulp loudly. I have always been a softy once it came to pouters. Those soft lips plump full holding unmistakable tenderness and they are always for one person always meant to be long to one person only. In this case I hadn't yet figured out who that lucky boy was...yes, yes I did indeed say boy.
One day I will find out. One day when I am not expecting it I will find him in his arms. Those soft pouter's lips being abused by harsh demanding lips and I will sulk not because I care about him in that way. But because I care about him as a younger brother and as an older brother I don't want any ones lips on what I have grown up with. I don't want anyone to take away the innocence of those soft pouters lips.
I come back to reality as he rubs my jaw softly and whispers.
"We need to talk in the other room...privately...now." The seriousness in his voice throws me off and I follow him slowly feeling the heat of every ones eyes on my back. Apparently I have done something wrong that I deserve heated looks over. I step into the sound proof recording room. Ryuichi shuts the door behind me and locks it then turning around whispers.
"what is it with you...is it what I suspect?" My body tenses and I hate to say the word lingering on my tongue because I know it will hurt him for the same reason it hurts me to imagine him kissing someone. I turn around fiddle with a few switches...no harm done I know what the switches mean I just need something to do. I rest my head softly on the wall and whisper.
"There is nothing between me and Hiroshi...why do you ask such things?" I feel his hand rest on my upper back and he mumbles.
"Why are you lying to me I thought we told each other everything? When have you resorted to hiding from me?" the pain in his voice is unmistakable. I can feel his hand burning through my flesh. The purity of it singeing me I am not used to such lovelyness against me and lately that's all Iv had. Those wonderful carresses from the ones I love just to be thrown back in my face. I know that if I indulge in them I will only want more. I can't take the pleasure of his touch and I spin around grabbing his hand I stare straight into his eyes those violet pools of everything that I want to be. I hold him there his wrist tightly in my grasp.
"I have never lied to you" His breathing is soft and his gaze unbreakable.
"Then why start now?" My body is reacting to everything my heart burning, my skin itching, my blood boiling, and my eyes freezing because if I show the flame in my eyes he is sure to know what I wish to do to him. He is sure to know how much I want to push him against the wall and ravish his soft pouter's lips. The lips that I need right now I want right now because my hunger for the ones lips I craved the other night have been stolen away from me. I look hard at him and whisper.
"I am not lying...there is nothing between us...I swear." I look at him my pleading eyes burning through him. I try to hold back the wanting in my voice, the husky lust. I don't want to take his purity from him seeing as he has never been with anyone before. A blush lightly makes its self-visible on his cheeks and I begin to stumble over my breaths because I know what is to come.
"Good..." His eyelids are heavy and his usually shimmering eyes are clouded over making them a dark blue. His free hand has made its way to my shoulder and is pushing me lightly against the wall. I could push away I could run, knock him over and run but the thought of hurting him like that makes me sick. I can almost taste his soft pouter's lips and I sigh feeling him leaning against me. Against my better judgment I lean my head down to meet his beautiful lips. I can feel how hot he is getting and relish in the beautiful moment.
"K...I love you." I hear these words and push him away gently holding his shoulders. I kiss his cheek softly then letting go whisper.
"And I don't...I'm sorry Ryuichi. I love you as a good friend but you deserve someone who truly loves you as for me. I love someone else. I'm sorry." My voice falters in the ending as I walk out. I can see the unshed tears in his eyes as he holds his cheek my lips recently vacated.
I walk out of the room and slide down the wall outside for the second time in one day. My heart is about to burst because I have lost three people I have loved in the past week.
Hiro POV
I press every button on the way down the elevator. Not because I get some childish fun out of it but because it will make it take longer to get down stair's. I drop down on my knees the pain of everything drowning out the sounds of the elevator closing and opening. I have my hands in my hair. It falls down around my face and I have to have looked semi insane. I wasn't crying...I wouldn't allow myself to but I wasn't pretending nothing happened. My fingers dig slowly into my scalp and blood glides down my forearm. I hear it hit the floor and listen to the echo of it all around me. In reality it only my a slight thud but to me it sounded like thoudands of raindrops hitting the earth all at once.
I could here everything the memories I forced behind rising to the surface
Your not right your sick NakanoThis disruption can not be released into our institute!
Nakano we have raised you and look what you do
Your disturbed
Nakano! Nakano! You little bastard listen to me!
Stop crying!
Be a man stop crying!
A demon surely has possessed you
I'm glad to rid you from here Nakano!
My tears burned in my eyes I forced them back I promised that I would never cry again never would I put myself through the pain. Blood soaked the carpet from the gashes in my head and I choked on the hatred growing inside of me. The elevator stoped and I felt warmth ingulf me I wrapped my arms around it and rubbed my face in the waiting shoulder. I wasn't crying but I still needed someone to hold. I looked up and found it was Shuichi. He held me and I felt right I felt wanted again. I held him harder than I had held anyone and was so happy just to have someone with me.
He looked at me lovingly and whispered
"You can stay with me and Yuki tonight." I didn't want to sleep anywhere near Yuki but staying in a house with Shuichi sounded like a good idea.
We arrived at his house shortly after leaving the hospital where I received some treatment for the multiple gashes in my head. We walked in and immediately Yuki was on his ass about bringing me over. I felt out of place and offered to leave but Shuichi talked him into letting me stay. Although I was certain they weren't talking but what did I know. After I sat down he announced my being able to stay and showed me to a spare room hidden in the back of the house. It wasn't dusty or ugly or unclean it as quite the opposite. It was too clean it felt like a hospital room that really needed to be aired out.
Yuki and Shuichi went to bed surprisingly early I sat in my room. My knees pulled up to my chest starring blankly at the door. At about 3 am I heard a sound at my door and it opened quietly. I waited until I saw pink hair poke in the door though in the dark of night it looked rather purple. My mouth hung open as he shut the door behind him. He slowly walked toward the bed and jumping onto it beside me whispered.
"It was hard but I finally got him all tuckered out." I didn't want to know how he did that but I was glad he came anyway. "I thought you were going to be asleep why are you still awake? Are you still upset about what he called you?...you cant blame him for that He couldn't have known...I think you broke his jaw Hiro..." I winced as I thought of how that must have felt. I suddenly felt terrible and looking softly at Shuichi whispered
"Do you think he can forgive me? I got so angry..." Shuichi gave me a dopey smile and gleefully said
"Who could stay mad at a face like that." He cuddled closer to me slipping under the covers he laid me down and soothingly began to sing me a lullaby.
Let me see those sparkling eyes
The ones I've dreamt of through the nights
Lay me down to give me rest
And hold me tightly to your chest.
It was a lovers lullaby and I thought he may be telling me something until I felt his breathing soften and his fingers curl into my muscle shirt. He was asleep. I was happy I was so close to him but the thought of him right there burned in my soul the mere thought of his small body radiating heat. His hair brushing against my chest made me regret letting him sleep. I heard the door open again and figured it was the wind but I saw a shadow in the light. Suddenly I saw the hungry eyes and new who it was. He turned on the light and starred down at us. I'm sure it looked quite wrong to him but in reality. We were only old friends sharing a night comforting each other. Shuichi woke up as if he sensed Yuki and jumping out of the bed starred wide eyed at Yuki.
"Yuki...I...I...nothing happened." Yuki starred at Shuichi as if he were insane and quietly said
"It didn't look like nothing to me." His tone scared me and I winced at the venam dripping off his tongue as he spoke.
"Really Yuki it was nothing I was helping Hiro sleep." He through his arm back and yelled
"It looked more like he was helping you sleep even though you pretended well enough to be asleep when I was with you." I wanted to help Shuichi but that would be out of my place since I was a guest. The tears brimmed in Shuichi's eyes and he pleaded.
"Yuki...I would never...I love you. Don't you understand I wouldn't do that to you." Yuki sneered at him evilly and shaking his head angrily yelled.
"Yes you would...Iv seen the way you look at him...the thing I m confused about is how you could cheat on me with this...stupid Bastard!" I saw the tears streaming down Shuichi's innocent face and lost it.
"Yuki You asshole he has never been attracted to me all he ever talks of is you. He loves you not me...he loves you!" I grabbed my coat on the back of the dresser chair and running out the house I waited for a taxi to arrive. I had not been there ten minutes before I heard the front door open and turned to find Shuichi. He had that sparkle in his eyes again and I figured he had made up with Yuki.
He walked slowly up beside me and stood at the curb balancing himself on the edge like a child. Though that had always been Shuichi's way. He was a big kid. I admired him for it and my bones chilled as I thought of the burning hatred he probably held for me now knowing I had almost ruined his relationship. Deep down inside he probably hates me.
I starred down the road looking for a car as I feel warmth on my arm. I turn toward him and I say yes. His eyes are still shimmering and I don't see hatred but thankfulness. His breathing is slow and taunting and he whispers.
"Thank you for helping me in there." I am shocked and I stair I don't mean to but I do.
"But I didn't do anythi..." He places a gentle finger on my lips and shaking his head says
"You did more then you realize..." He lets his finger slip down my lips and says quite genuinely
"You never notice what's in front of you till you lose it." I'm frozen I cant move let alone breath.
"You know what that feels like don't you...to loose what you..." I cant stop him from speaking and my heart begins to bleed
"You keep your heart...barred from me. You won't let me in." I begin to tremble and I can't hold myself up.
"Open your heart to me Hiro...tell me what you're keeping from me." I need something to keep myself from falling but the only thing close is Shuichi. So I lean on him. I rest on him my hands on his shoulders and now I'm touching him. I touching what he speaks of, What I'm hiding. His eyes stair into mine and I almost fear he is going to pull away and yet he doesn't.
I place my hand on his cheek gently and I rub my thumb lightly across it. He stairs down at me and I know what he is set on. I pull him closer standing on my own to feet now. I place my other hand at the small of his back as he gently wraps his arms around my neck and for a split second I'm lost, I'm gone. I'm looking at myself do this and I yell not to do it but I don't listen and I stair in horror as I place my lips over his.
I taste him and I hate the taste. Not because Shuichi but because of Yuki. He taste of Yuki cigarettes and blood but I can't help kissing him harder because it is Shuichi and I need this. I shun myself for this and I can't help but think.
"If its not Shuichi's kiss I want. Who's can it be. I have never kissed anyone else other than my ex girlfriend."
Author POV
Theirs something he needs a kiss he can't explain its forceful yet sweet and gental. It taste of strong Alcohol and cigarettes but as disgusting as the mix is...when he taste it, it holds taste of cold nights. The open sea air, freshly blooming roses, morning dew, and...something he cant explain. This need he wants to release it but not with Shuichi with someone...else.
Review Response's – pleas if you can tell me of your Age sex and Location I am just wondering what is up with my loyal fans.
LittleMissYaoi: yes it was a trick question. HAHA! And you were one of the lucky few to get it write. Haaha I will email you the info when I get a chance. Yes I do mean mesenger and I am glad you like Author notes mine are quite small this chappy I rushed them. Im really just an ordinary girl Im no celeb but I am honored you are so excited to add. Me. Peace out.
Dark-Dreams-69: You knew the answer you snuck into my laband stole the plot you theif lol.
Twoshat17: Short but sweet. You got the question right. HAHHAHA anyway see ya.
Shuichi'sgirl: HAHHA I am so amused by your review you really thought it through but unfortunitly you were wrong Im sorry. I like the way you think. Anyway NITES.
Sesaru: Yes millions...you sound surprised. HAHAHA YAY! I GOT A STALKER. How do you know Im not the one watching you? You liked that chappy I am happy I hope you liked this one just as much.
Eitriarch: You make me cry...your favourite one I am touched. You are so complimentary it is to bad i never get to see you online lol. Where are you from? Anyway see ya and I am sorry but you were wrong it wasn't k nice try.
Guren: No I am sorry that answer was wrong. I wish I could make it write but it wasn't. Im sorry nites. Heres the new chappy though.
A/N: Yeah so that was my chappy. It was really long. Ok ok the answer to the question was...HIRO. Im sorry to everyone who got it wrong I wanted to make everyone right but it just didn't work out that way. I would like to say CONGRATULATIONS to twoshat17 and LittleMissYaoi for getting this question write. Well I g2g its 3 am and I need to sleep please read and review I love you all. Oh and thanx to those who added me to MSN messenger.
