18 years later, Emma
Today is the day I leave my childhood behind once and for all.
Or at least this is the way my father sees it because I think I'm way beyond my childhood already.
What I really leave behind is a bunch of people who mean a lot to me. People I can't remember and can't imagine being without.
They're all here at the airport to say goodbye to me before I board the plane that brings me to San Francisco.
As usual, we are the biggest crowd.
There is aunt Phoebe, her husband Mike and their children and aunt Monica and uncle Chandler with my two cousins Jack and Erica.
Then there is my father and his wife Charlie with my sister Ruth.
And of course my mother and Joe, my other dad. With them are my sister Maria and my little brother Joey.
My brother seems not to be too interested in his big sister going away. He is flirting with some girl, something I think he does since he learned how to smile. Mom always says about this, that it is amazing how much he takes after his father. Which is odd since I can't imagine Joe even so much as looking at someone else than mom, even though they're married for more than 16 years now.
Admittedly, judging from old photographs from Joe when he was 12, Joey looks a lot like his father. Uncle Chandler sometimes jokingly asks, if my mother really found it necessary to inflict another Joey Tribbiani onto mankind. To that my mother always says that she thinks there can't be enough of them. I guess that's the reason he's mom's very special little boy who can get away with almost anything just by smiling all sweetly at her. He has her totally wrapped around his little finger.
Good thing I have Joe wrapped around mine.
To think I have to leave them, that I have to live on my own from today on scares me a bit. I mean I wanted that. This is why I choose Berkeley, because I can't run to one of my families if anything goes wrong, I have to deal with stuff alone.
Of course I know that if something would go really wrong, they would come running in no time.
My brother Ben went to college there and he already told me everything he thinks I need to know. And I'm sure somewhere in San Francisco there is a Tribbiani, Joe can send to the rescue immediately if lightning strikes.
But mostly I'm still gonna be on my own.
And I'm gonna miss them. Every single one of them.
I remember how frustrating it always was to make people understand how I felt about my family. Even grandma Geller had troubles understanding why I regarded Joe as one of my dads. She shook her head and said, "My grandson has to moms and you have two dads. I guess I'm too old for getting used to this, sweety." Even back then I kept my mouth shut about the fact that I sometimes called Charlie mom as well.
I guess this was when I started to learn to not tell people what they don't want to hear.
Sometimes I just told people that my parents are divorced and married to new spouses. Which isn't even a lie but leads people to believe I had a normal all-american childhood with parents who got divorced after I was born.
Not a happy childhood, but who cares.
But I had a happy childhood.
My parents got divorced three years before I even was conceived. My mother fell in love with the man she is still very happily married to, when she was pregnant with me. They married when I was two years old, the same year my father married Charlie, his fourth (and how he always says when uncle Chandler is mocking him about it – last) wife.
I always felt loved and at home, regardless if I was with my mother or my father.
The times I spent at my mom's I was one of the Tribbianis, when I was with my father, I was a Geller kid. A lot of the friends I had actually envied me for the opportunity to 'switch' families.
My childhood was almost never boring or uneventful. Over all the years my parents stayed very close to their friends, they all lived in the same neighbourhood.
The house of the Bings is actually only across the street from the house my mother and Joe live in. From what I've gathered, they bought those houses at the same time after my mother and Joe got married. I can still remember the day we moved out of Joe's old apartment because while crawling around in the mostly empty place, I found some ring, Joe apparently had lost a few years ago. I still don't know why Joe and mom acted as if it was a miracle.
Anyway, living so close together meant that regardless if it was the 4th of July or Thanksgiving or all the many birthday parties, there was always a bunch of kids to play with.
To be honest, when I was around 12 years old, I sometimes wished there wouldn't be so many and that I wouldn't be one of the older kids since we always had to watch the younger ones. And babysitting Joseph Francis Tribbiani III. while he was playing – or fighting - with his pal Jack Charles Bing definitely was a pain. Joey is two years younger than Jack but he always gave as good as he got and at least one of them always managed to get himself injured. Try to imagine aunt Phoebe's boys mixed up in that and the disaster was unavoidable.
But I guess my big brother Ben got it even worse since he was the oldest one and had to deal with a bunch of princesses on top of that.
My two sisters Ruth and Maria were born when I was three. I don't remember the day Ruth was born but I still can recall a few details of Maria's birthday. Mostly that Joe had tears in his eyes when he told everyone they had a healthy daughter. I can still remember the strange feeling of seeing this big strong man cry. My three year old self tried to console him by telling him what mom always told me before Maria was born. That even though she was going to have another baby she wasn't going to love me any less than before. Joe enveloped me in one of these bear hugs of his and told me that he wasn't sad, that he wasn't afraid of mom not loving him anymore, that he was just so very happy.
Back then I didn't really understand how someone would cry when he was happy – I learned that much later.
It's time to go and everyone shakes my hand and hugs me and somewhere in between I start crying because I already start to miss them.
"Hey sis, good luck and do nothing I wouldn't do."
"What, my homework?", I quip under tears. Joey just smiles at me and if I wouldn't know better, I would say he looks a bit sad.
"I'm gonna miss you so much, Emma", Maria says, crying as well. Ruth doesn't even say anything, she just hugs me for a long time.
"Take care and if you need anything, call us, alright?"
"Alright Charlie."
My father is next to embrace me. "You heard her, Emma, call us. Whatever happens, day or night, call us. You know we're worried about you."
"Yes dad, I know."
He reluctantly lets me go and I fall into the arms of my mother.
"I can't believe I have to give you away already," she sobs. "You were just a baby not so long ago."
"Mom, I am 19 years old."
"I know, I know. And when you're seeing someone, call me. I want to know anything about that, okay?"
"Okay mom."
"Yeah, and you can give me his phone number since I'll have to have a few words with him," Joe cuts in.
I was just wondering when that one would come up. Joe and my boyfriends are one of the reasons I thought going somewhere else would be a good idea.
"I won't do that, daddy, because you surely will scare him away."
"I won't, I just think you can't trust those college boys."
The first few times when I brought a boy to my parents house I was mad at Joe for behaving like he did, for giving those poor guys such a hard time. But it had it's advantages. The few ones that were willing to go out with me despite the overly protective stepfather, really made sure to treat me nice.
"Oh sure … every boyfriend I ever had was scared shitless of you."
He smiles at me almost apologetically and envelopes me in his arms. "Was I really that bad?"
"No, no you weren't. I can't imagine my life without you, dad. But I have to learn how to live without you protecting me all the time."
"I'll always protect you, Emma, I've promised you that once. You're just making it a tiny bit harder."
Eventually he steps back and puts an arm around mom, wiping his eyes surreptitiously.
I turn around and walk through security.
When I turn around again to look at them one last time, I see my mother sobbing into Joe's chest. My brother pats Maria on the back comfortingly.
My father and Charlie are waving and smiling encouragingly as do Monica, Chandler and all the others.
Looking back at all of them I have to think of something uncle Chandler said to me a few years ago at one of our big 4th of July barbecues.
"Look at all those people", he'd said. "You know what gets to me every time I see them all together like this?"
"Well, I guess you're going to tell me."
"That I love them. Every single one of them."
THE END
A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. I hope everyone who read it enjoyed it.
If you like my writing and if you want to see another story from me again sometime, I would be happy if you'll let me know.
Thanks for reading.
Kristin
