1James' eyes opened wide. His sleeping wife was digging her fingers into his side. She cried out in her sleep, and he pulled her protectively towards his body, now fully awake. He gently shushed her, stroking her hair with one hand as he grasped her hand with the other.
Lily opened her eyes slowly, the tears rolling down her cheeks. She desperately snuggled closer to James.
"I don't want to lose you," Lily whispered.
It wrenched his heart to see his strong wife so vulnerable and unsure, but he was confident in his assurances that she'd be okay. She'd had bad dreams a lot lately, and he kept assuring her that even if something did happen to him, his three friends would take care of her. They cared about her almost as much as he did, and he was sure that they'd do anything for her, as they'd do for him. He wasn't worried.
She's been incredibly emotional lately.
"I promise," he fervently whispered as he rocked her back and forth. "I'll always be here, baby...I've got you...You're safe here."
"I'm sorry," Lily mumbled after a while. "I just got scared."
He didn't ever want her to be sorry for needing him. He hugged her to his chest.
After a while, James felt her steady breathing and assumed she'd fallen asleep. He rested his head against the headboard and shakily let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. This couldn't all be happening to him.
James didn't like Lily to be scared, because it was all he could do not to be scared himself. Too much stress wasn't good for his sleeping habits; he definitely wouldn't be sleeping again.
James was stressed most about his dad. The guy just wouldn't listen to him about retiring. He was always so stubborn. James hadn't meant to yell at his dad, he didn't want to disrespect him. But the way that his dad risked his life all of the time was more than James could take.
He'd tried to talk to Sirius about it, but for once, Sirius hadn't understood.
Lily watched the muscles of James' jaw clench and unclench.
"It was just a dream," she whispered, startling him.
"It's not just that," he whispered angrily, then looked at her apologetically. He didn't mean to take it out on her.
"I know," he assured. "He'll be fine, James."
Lily stroked his head and felt him relax a bit. She knew he didn't want to talk about it. Whenever his dad was in danger, James reminded Lily of a little boy, trying to be tough while immensely scared inside.
So she did the only thing she knew to do, she ran her fingers through his hair and allowed him to hold her. He was such a great husband, but she knew that in some ways he'd never grow up.
"You know it's more than my dad, Lily," James quietly assured her. "I don't know who to trust anymore, and I can't grasp the idea of you working with Snape."
"James," Lily sighed, "please don't think about it."
She could sense his worry, but he was calming down a little bit.
"You should go back to sleep," he told her after a long while of silence.
"I'm okay," she told him concernedly. He kissed her forehead thankfully.
After a while, James leaned over his wife. He kissed her gently on the mouth, stroking her cheek.
He felt her smile against his lips, so he deepened the kiss.
She loved that her husband was so passionate about things, but his constantly fluctuating emotions were confusing her. Usually James was semi-rational.
He pulled away from her slightly and searched her eyes, "I love you."
"Why?" she asked hesitantly, slightly out of breath.
Without answering, he kissed her again, sending chills up and down her spine. She pulled closer to him.
