Hi, guys! I'm up at midnight again, bringing you another dose of fanfic!
A thought occurred to me a while back—what if this story gets boring? Mist isn't causing anything outside of the usual plotline to happen, and other than a few smart remarks here and there and a spotlight when we get to Dr Myuu, she's not contributing much. But then, I suppose that helps detract from her potential Mary Sue-ness…
Disclaimer: YES! I OWN DRAGON BALL! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Lawyers: (take out briefcases menacingly)
Me: Eeep! I didn't mean it! I was kidding! Really! (runs away)
Lawyers: (chase after me)
Last time on GT…Doma was poised to cut Zoonama's quake-producing whiskers, but before he could finish the job, Zoonama awoke and attempted to conjure a quake. This time, however, his true abilities were revealed. The mighty Zoonama wasn't so mighty after all. He had the ability to predict quakes, but not to cause them. Trunks called his bluff, and it was time to worry about the real threat: a temperamental volcano that was ready to blow. Never one to back down from a challenge, Goku decided to meet the inferno head-on. Having quelled both the forces of nature and the threat of Zoonama, harmony was restored and payment in kind was given for a job well done. But before the six-star ball was warm in Pan's hand, an alien presence made itself known and shocked the crowd. Mist seemed to recognize them, but what does she know? Will it help them get the Dragon Ball back? The chase is on, today on DragonBall GT.
Lord Luud
Pan, Trunks, Goku, Giru, and Mist hurried into the control room. "I hope this crate has got some speed, Trunks," Pan said as she buckled herself into her seat, Trunks and Goku doing the same.
"Don't worry about that," Trunks replied. "And she's no crate, I'll prove it to you," he said as he fired up the engines.
"I sure hope s-OOOO!" Mist's statement ended in a wail as the speed of the takeoff slammed her against the back wall. "You know, I'm starting to get used to this pain every time we take off!" she moaned as the ship leveled off and the inertia of the passengers caught up to that of the ship.
Giru settled down. "Dragon Ball dead ahead! Giru! Giru! Dragon Ball dead ahead! Giru! Giru!" he chirped.
"There he is!" Pan said, unbuckling and climbing up to the window. "Good job, Trunks! Stay with him!"
Goku climbed up next to her. "Our ship must be faster than theirs," he commented.
Trunks shook his head. "I doubt he's played all of his cards this quickly. He's probably just testing us."
"Or maybe they haven't seen us yet?" Mist guessed. "They think they just escaped with their prize and most likely celebrating, so they're probably not paying too close attention to their surroundings."
"Whatever's going on, that's one weird looking ship," Trunks commented.
"Look who's talking," Mist gestured to the ship they were on. "It looks like an octopus."
"Better an octopus than a mushroom," Trunks retorted.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Suddenly, the mushroom-ship sped up.
"Trunks! Can our ship match that kind of speed?" Goku asked.
Trunks swallowed. "It has to." He pushed a lever forward, and Mist grabbed his chair to keep from being slammed against the wall again.
Inside the mushroom-ship, the blue alien who stole the Dragon Ball tossed it up and down in his hand. "You shoulda seen da look on deir faces," he drawled. "Whadda bunch o' dopes," he laughed.
"Here! Lemme see it!" a smaller version of him, obviously a brother of some sort, said, taking the ball. "Are you sure dis is a Dragon Ball?" he drawled with the same accent.
The large one sighed. "Yes, Son Para."
"Doesn't look all dat special to me."
"How could it, Son Para?" A third, taller than the second but thinner than the first, took the Ball from his small companion's hand. "You're too skeptical, brotha," he said. "You dunno how to recognize da finer things in life." He kissed the ball.
"Don Para's right," the largest brother said. "You gotta have trust, li'l brotha. Didn't Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy assure us of their potency?"
Suddenly, the computer began to bleep. "What is it?" the only brother whose name we don't know yet asked.
"A shadow has been confirmed at five kilometers, sir," the computer informed them.
"On screen!" The three brothers looked at the ship containing the Saiyans.
"It's them!" Son Para said. "Maybe dey're not as dumb as we thought!"
"Maximum speed!"
"Warp drives engaged," the computer said.
On the pursuing ship…
"They're getting away! Trunks, do something!" Pan commanded.
Trunks frowned, kicking up the speed. They followed the thieves through a cluster of asteroids.
"We're not getting any closer! What's wrong with the ship now?" Pan asked as the other ship pulled ahead.
"Nothing!" Trunks replied. "She's doing just what she was designed to do! They're simply faster than us! And basically they're reaching speeds that my engineers said couldn't be reached!"
"How much are you paying those guys, Trunks?" Pan asked.
"My engineers? They're all making about eight figures, plus benefits."
"Wow. That's a lot of money." Pan frowned. "Well, I'd cut their pay in half with no benefits until they did better than second best!"
Mist looked over Trunks' shoulder. "Uh…guys?"
Trunks blinked. "Wow, I'm glad you're not my boss."
"Guys…you might want to see this…" Mist tried to get their attention.
Pan folded her arms. "Hello, yes I am," she said matter-of-factly.
"Danger!" Giru chirped. "Asteroids approaching!"
"AAAAAGH!" they all screamed as Trunks wrestled with the controls, dodging frantically left and right. They followed the blue brothers' ship as best they could, Pan and Mist screaming for their lives, each clinging onto one of Trunks' arms, making it even harder for him to fly the ship. Finally, they got out of the asteroid field, all breathing out a sigh of relief.
"Wow, that was some pretty fancy flying there, Trunks. Good job," Goku congratulated.
"Yeah," Pan agreed. "I thought we were goners for sure."
"You three must be some of those suicidal teenagers I keep hearing about," Mist moaned.
"Heh. They might be faster than us, but no one outruns me when I'm behind the wheel," Trunks bragged, throwing back his head and laughing. This lapse in concentration caused them to hit an asteroid, which bounced them off a second, and a third, and a fourth. By the time Trunks had the ship back under control, Mist wasn't the only one lying dazed on the floor.
"Nice, Trunks," Pan said accusingly, climbing back into her seat. "If you're such a great pilot, why don't you try outrunning a few asteroids?"
On the mushroom ship, the as-of-yet nameless blue alien swirled wine around in a cup. "Persistent, aren't they?" he commented, taking a deep gulp. "What a nuisance! Can't someone do a little stealing without being hassled?"
"Maybe we underestimated them," Don Para speculated.
"What are we gonna do?" Son Para asked.
The wine-drinking brother addressed the computer. "Computer! Any recommendations on how to lose our shadow?"
"Yes, Bon Para," the computer replied. "I suggest an ambush." A picture of an asteroid with more holes than Swiss cheese appeared onscreen. "Lead your pursuers to Beehey. Therein reside creatures known as Mouma. Mouma are bloodthirsty worms that can swallow a ship with a single bite. Mouma will destroy your pursuers for you, sir. You will not even have to lift a finger."
Bon Para laughed. "Computer, I like your style." He posed dramatically. "To Beehey!"
Goku, Pan, Trunks, and Mist gaped as the ship with the Dragon Ball on it sped up so fast it left after-images of itself.
Pan grabbed Trunks' collar. "They're jumping to lightspeed! Don't let them get away!" she hollered.
"Easy!" Mist tried to calm Pan down. "We still need him to pilot the ship!" She held on tight as their ship sped up, and chased down the Paras'.
"Approaching Beehey," the computer stated, as a pockmarked asteroid came into view.
"Eeeexcellent." The Paras laughed evilly. They pulled up to one of the holes, turning aside at the last moment.
"I guess we'll follow them in," Trunks sighed. "Here goes." He flew their ship into the cavern.
"I have a bad feeling about this," Mist kicked off the Star Wars jokes.
"How can you steer when you can't even see?" Pan asked, peering at the pitch-black outside the ship.
"I'm using my instruments," Trunks explained. "Hold on a sec, I'll switch on the spotlights." He did so, illuminating the tunnel. They peered out at the creepy, almost organic-looking tunnel.
"Do you really think they live in a place like this?" Goku wondered.
"Probably not. But they might have a secret base here," Trunks responded.
Outside, the Paras watched their progress. "Computer! What are their chances of making it out alive?"
"The cave system is a maze. They have a fifty percent chance of navigating the corridors successfully." The computer paused. "However, this calculation was made before considering the threat of the Mouma."
"What if you threw them into the equation?" Bon Para inquired.
"Their chance of success will then decrease dramatically, sir. I calculate less than one percent."
"Less than 1, hah? Now those are odds I can live with!" Don Para smirked. "How 'bout you, brothers?"
"For sure! Works for me!" Son Para smirked as well.
"Good! Computer! Set a course for Luud!"
"Course laid in, sir. Destination: Luud," the computer confirmed.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
On a red planet, in front of a large, eerily lit statue, a robed and masked mob bowed to said statue. They chanted, "Enyaka yakayaka, Luud rama-lama-sama! Enyaka yakayaka, Luud rama-lama-sama! Enyaka yakayaka, Luud rama-lama-sama!" You get the idea.
Suddenly, a robed figure whose mask only covered the lower half of his face cracked his whip. "SILENCE!" he commanded. "One of our journeymen has returned with a Dragon Ball!"
Said journeyman, a strange creature with pointy ears, pasty skin, and leaflike green hair trembled.
The man with the whip and the red robe cracked said whip again. "Don't just stand there!" he demanded. "You did bring a Dragon Ball, didn't you?"
"Yes! Uh…what happens if I didn't?" the journeyman quavered, falling onto one knee.
"Then you'll get the whip," Whip-man said threateningly, as the Para Bros. turned the corner. "Now DID YOU BRING A DRAGON BALL OR NOT!"
"No, Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy," Plant-man confessed. "I searched far and wide, but the galaxy is so vast and I had so little to go on…I beg for your mercy!"
Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy, formerly known as Whip-man, raised his whip. "FAILURE IS UNACCEPTABLE!" he screamed. The whip closed around the journeyman's neck, as a strange green aura surrounded him and the statue's eyes began to glow. The journeyman screamed as he shrunk down, until he became…a doll? A small plastic replica of himself lay on the ground. Bon, Don, and Son Para gasped as Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy screamed, "LORD LUUD HAS SPOKEN!"
"H-h-he turned that poor guy into a doll!" Son Para squeaked.
Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy picked up the small, sad plastic thing. "Was carrying out Lord Luud's will really so difficult?" he asked the doll. "Wouldn't it have been easier than THIS!" He threw the doll upwards over the rim of what looked like a large cauldron in front of the statue. A green light shone out of it, and the level of green liquid in what looked like an hourglass with three bulbs bubbled and rose a fraction. Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy turned to the masked mob. "In life he was a failure," he addressed his followers, "but in death he has achieved greatness, because his vital energy has been absorbed by Lord Luud himself! Let us beg of Lord Luud that our end might be just as glorious as his!"
Dead silence from the wide-eyed cult members.
"Well?" Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy demanded. "When I say 'beg," I mean NOW!" he shouted.
The crowd immediately began to bow, and chant "Enyaka yakayaka, Luud rama-lama-sama!"
Don Para looked nervous. "Guys, let's get out of here!"
Bon Para stopped him. "Brothas! The one he dealt with harshly failed where we succeeded! We have a Dragon Ball!" he reasoned.
"Oh. Right."
"Dat's the ticket!" Son Para cried. "Be bold! We're the ones in da drivers' seat!"
Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy cracked his whip. "NEXT! Approach the altar!" he commanded. "Did you bring an offering for Lord Luud?"
The three knelt. "Yes, Cardinal," Bon Para answered, "my brothers and I have brought a Dragon Ball as requested." He held up the orb.
The Cardinal picked it up and inspected it. "Well, it's authentic," he muttered. "Para brothers! You have accomplished what many others could not! You are the first ones to succeed!"
"See?" Bon Para muttered. "There's nothin' to fear here, brothas!"
"He's rollin' out the red carpet for us!" Son Para said gleefully. "I wonder what kind of reward we're gonna get?"
"I wish I could give you a reward, but I can't," the Cardinal interrupted their conversation. "Unfortunately, you have committed a terrible blunder." He raised his arms to the Luud idol. "According to a divine message from Lord Luud, you Para Para brothers have let a Dragon Ball slip through your fingers, a grave offense indeed!"
"But…we've got it!" Bon Para protested.
Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy sighed. "Those cretins you took the Dragon Ball from had another on their ship," he explained. "And YOU let it get away!" He cracked the whip right in front of them, knocking them off the dais in shock. "WHAT do you have to SAY for YOURSELVES!" he demanded.
"Give us another chance, Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy!" Bon Para begged.
The Cardinal cracked his whip. The Paras curled up into little balls, and waited for the end to come. However, the whip hit a statue's sword, snapping it in half, causing it to hit the ground, nearly castrating Son Para. "I have interceded for you, Para Paras!" Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy declared. "You have ONE MORE CHANCE."
"Thank you, Cardinal, thank you!" Bon Para cried.
"DON'T FAIL ME," the Cardinal glared.
The Para brothers scrambled away as fast as their legs would carry them.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The mushroom ship belonging to the brothers Para took off. "Computer! Set a course for Planet Beehey! That ship we ditched has a Dragon Ball on it, and we Paras are gonna be living in a shoe box if we don't get it back!"
"Yes, sir. Destination: Beehey."
"But what if we're too late!" Don Para panicked. "What if the Mouma have already eaten them!"
"I DON'T WANNA BE A DOLL!" Son Para whined.
"Computer! Maximum speed!" Bon Para cried, as they zoomed to the porous asteroid.
Inside, Trunks was having problems navigating. "It's a maze!" Trunks declared. "We could search for a whole year and never find them!"
Mist glared. "Well, I'm glad you're here to tell us these things!" She crossed her arms. "We're already lost, so if you keep thinking like that, we'll never find our way out, much less the Dragon Ball!"
They continued down the tunnel, oblivious to the creeping noises following them.
"I have an idea!" Pan interrupted. "Giru! Locate the Dragon Ball they stole!"
Giru tried. "Dragon Ball gone! Dragon Ball missing!"
Pan was furious. "What do you mean, 'missing'? You're a walking Dragon radar!" She picked him up. "That Dragon Ball's signal has got to be on there somewhere…unless you're defective, that is!" She looked at the radar. "He's right…the signal's not showing up anywhere!"
"Maybe because we're under solid rock," Trunks suggested.
Mist swallowed. A thought had just occurred to her that she didn't want to even suggest.
Goku noticed the look on her face. "What's wrong?"
Mist swallowed. "It might not be because we're underground," she began.
"What do you mean?" Pan asked.
"I mean…maybe the reason the ball's not showing up is because…because it's not there," she suggested. "Maybe…they tricked us into going in here because they knew we'd get lost…"
Trunks, Pan, and Goku gasped. "The dirty thieves!" Goku growled.
"Are you sure?" Trunks asked.
"Not completely, but I know how they think. I caught a ride with them once, and they don't mind using the lowliest tricks to get their way. They're called the Para Para Brothers, and they're ruthless when it comes to anything but each other."
"Why didn't you tell us this in the first place?" Pan demanded, shaking Mist by the collar.
"I never got around to it!" Mist protested. "Could you let go of me, please?"
"How'd you get them to take you on their ship in the first place?" Goku asked.
Mist winked. "You see these big blue eyes?" she asked, pointing. "I'm the master of the martial arts technique Inu-me-ken: Puppy-Dog Eyes. One look, and the most hardened space pirate is putty in my hands." She winked again. "Care for a demonstration?"
"Not now," Trunks replied. "If the Dragon Ball's really not here, then we'd better get out and start searching for it elsewhere." He shuddered. "I'll be glad to get out of these caves."
"Same here," Pan replied. "I can't shake the feeling that we're being followed."
Suddenly, Giru curled up into a ball. "Monster! Monster!" he cried.
There was no point to arguing, as the mouth of a giant worm, obviously ripped off from Star Wars, nearly closed on them. Trunks exercised his piloting skill again, as they frantically dodged the several Mouma closing in on them.
"Those things are disgusting!" Pan cried.
"And dangerous," Goku added. "Why can't I sense its energy!"
"Monster approaching!" Giru warned them. This time, it came out of the cavern wall to their right. Trunks dodged it frantically.
"That is one big worm," he muttered.
"Trunks! Look out! Up above!" Goku shouted. Trunks took advantage of this advice.
Meanwhile, the Paras arrived, flying into the tunnel.
"Wait!" Son Para cried. "We're not going further in there, are we!"
"We don't have a choice, brother," Bon Para said.
"But what if the Mouma get ahold of us?"
"We'll just have to take that risk."
"But our chances of survival in there are less than one percent!"
"Yes, but we're the Para brothers, are we not?" Bon Para tried to sound confident.
Further in, the ship was frantically dancing with death. Suddenly, the ship slammed into the floor, breaking through into a larger cavern. The Paras looked up.
"It's them! They're alive!"
"Thank goodness!"
The ship, still frantically dodging, was flipped over onto its back.
"Wa ha ha ha ha!" the brothers laughed.
"Look at them! They're stuck on their back!" Don Para's laugh turned into a scream as a Mouma barely missed them. "Computer! Retreat!"
Goku had an idea. Trunks put the ship on autopilot, and Goku leaned out the airlock, and shot a ki wave at the pursuing Mouma. This distracted it long enough for the ship's passengers to leap out. Mist thanked whatever gods were listening that she was agile when it really counted. They landed on their feet on the floor of the cave, Giru posing dramatically. "Giru to the rescue!" it chirped.
A giant worm, dripping mucus and saliva, burst through the ground in front of them. Giru quickly leapt onto Trunks' back and clung there fearfully. Mist wished she had someone's back she could hide behind, but the ship was just as likely a target, if not more so, than a free-standing person, so she gritted her teeth, took what she hoped was a good fighting stance, and decided to go down swinging.
"Look at that!" Don Para said in admiration. "They're standing up to the Mouma!"
"Are they crazy?" Son Para wondered. "It's suicide!"
"It's perfect," Bon Para smirked. "While those idiots are being brave and getting themselves killed, we'll sneak onto their ship and take their Dragon Ball!"
"Ingenious!" Don Para said.
"It runs in the blood," Son Para replied.
Out in the cavern, Goku, Pan, and Trunks launched a triple attack, shooting energy waves out of their hands.
"HA!"
"HA!"
"HA!"
Mist stared. These definitely weren't your ordinary outer-space wanderers…she had to get them to teach her that trick. Remind me never to cross these guys…she thought. The attack hit dead-on…but nothing happened.
"How strong is he!" Goku shouted.
Rumbling noises were heard, as more Mouma crawled around them. "We've got company!" Trunks shouted, again using a line from Star Wars. Suddenly, one came up right underneath them, knocking all four backwards.
They recovered quickly enough to see four or five Mouma surrounding them.
Goku struck a fighting stance. "What amazingly strong creatures," he said in wonderment. "All alone, out here in space! Who'd have ever thought?"
"I just hope we live to tell about it," Trunks muttered.
"Are you always this optimistic?" Mist asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
"No," Trunks replied, "just when we're fighting five invincible giant worms."
Inside their ship, the Para Brothers looked around. Where would it be…? Bon Para thought to himself.
As Goku, Pan, Trunks, and Mist stare into the jaws of death, the Para Brothers take advantage of an opportune moment. Who is this mysterious Lord Luud, and his bewitching Cardinal Mutchy Mutchy, who has the power to turn people into dolls? Ensnared in a deadly trap, the voyagers from Earth and their hitchhiking friend are in danger of losing their Dragon Balls and their lives at the hands of a cult they don't even know exists. Stay tuned for scenes from the next DragonBall GT.
On the next GT…the Moumas attack! Are these subterranean giants as invincible as they seem, or can Mist figure out their Achilles' heel? And when the Para Para Brothers take the floor, it's hard not to laugh, but the threat is real. If you dance with the Paras…you dance until you die! Next time on GT.
end of episode
Wow, that was a pain to write…it took me less time than usual—it's only 4 AM now! But it was tedious…all that copying…meh…but the next one will be funny…
Lawyers: There you are!
Me: Eeek! Gotta go! (runs away
